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“Okay, why do you look like somebody murdered your cat?”
Vinh looked up from his phone, frazzled and more than a little irritated at the interruption. “Huh?”
Amanda was looking at him, amused, from where she was filling up somebody’s glass with the Lambic Pentameter beer tap. Vinh noted with some amusement the obvious come hither eyes the customer was making towards her that she was studiously ignoring. “You’ve been making frustrated noises and murderous faces over there for the past hour. To be honest, I think you’re scaring my customers.”
He glanced around. It was true; most people were giving where he was sitting a wide berth. Vinh scoffed. “Considering the weird shit we’ve seen from the storm, you’d think any odd behaviour would fly under the radar for now. My actions-–” He pressed a palm to his chest, always a flair for the dramatic. “–-shouldn’t even crack their top ten.”
“And yet…” Amanda smirked, sliding the beer across the counter to the waiting grad student, who huffed and flounced off once she realized that Amanda wasn’t going to return her flirting. “Here we are.”
“Here we are,” he echoed, topping off his own glass in one smooth motion. Amanda had long given up on treating him like a regular customer–-had given up even before the clusterfuck that was their lives now. Now she just wordlessly handed him his bottle of choice so he could serve himself. He remembered her exasperated looks and each time, confiscating his car keys, in the early days after Maya’s death. After Safi’s…”death”. Not-death. Whatever.
“So spill, why are you here then? Shouldn’t you be off terrorizing Diamond? Or Max?”
“She’s got a thing with Moses tonight.” Vinh waved a hand dismissively, choosing to ignore the Diamond comment. Diamond had honestly been oddly quiet in the days following Max’s gathering in the Turtle. Maybe she was finally satisfied now that Abraxas was officially hers. “He’s been helping her work through her powers through a scientific lens or whatever.”
“Ah,” Amanda acknowledged, leaning on the bar and smiling. “And you’re not trailing after them?”
Vinh snorted, remembering the way he’d hang off of Safi and Maya. They’d never been bothered by him, but he knew how it could look back then to others. Even back then, he’d been so aware and careful with his image, but they were worth it. The memories still stung, only soothed slightly by the healing balm that had been the past month. “Growth, right?” He took a drink. “It’s fine. No point in me being there, I’d be less than useless.”
Amanda lifted an empty glass, mocking a toasting motion towards him as if in congratulations. “You didn’t answer my question, though.”
“I can’t be in that fucking Abraxas house, looking up at the ceiling. I needed to think.” Vinh tapped his fingers against the bartop. He lifted his gaze, catching her raised eyebrow. “I’m planning something,” he elaborated, then slumped a little. They were this far. Amanda was clearly not going to let it lie, and it was nearing the end of the night. Turtle patrons were slowly dying out. He might as well admit it. “It’s not…exactly working.”
“Okayyyy,” she said slowly. “What’s not working?”
“I keep-–” Vinh stopped himself, frustrated again as he remembered his task on hand, suave mask slipping. “Okay, fine. I’ve been trying to plan something for Max. She’s been so caught up lately in all the powers bullshit that I can practically see white hair from stress forming. But nothing’s been…” He ground his jaw. “Nothing’s been quite right. ” Quite good enough, is what he meant.
Amanda let out a disbelieving laugh, then slapped a hand over her mouth when he glared at her. More giggles escaped through her fingers as she tried to compose herself. “Sorry–” She made a genuine effort to stop. “Sorry. I just never thought I would see the day Vinh Lang of all people tried this hard.” The bartender grinned cheekily. “I remember the days when you’d just saunter up to someone and take them home. Oh, do you remember that one time you failed spectacularly at beer pong and somehow Reggie still–”
“Okay, thank you!” Vinh interrupted, red flushing up his neck, sending her into another fit of badly hidden laughter. “I’m aware, okay? I haven’t done this…properly dating thing in years. Excuse me if I’m out of practice.”
“I’m not making fun of you,” said Amanda, though the mischievous sparkle in her dark eyes seemed to suggest otherwise. “Hey, if you’re doing something for Max, then I’m always down to help. What do you have so far?”
Vinh eyed her a little suspiciously, but she seemed like she honestly wanted to help. His shoulders relaxed, and he looked back down at his phone. “Well,” he stalled. None of the ideas seemed right. Either too basic or too extravagant, and Max might not like either. He bit his lip. It hit him yet again, that outside of the trauma-bonding smashed into the short time of a week or so, the two of them really didn’t know enough about each other. “I have a few options. But safe to say I’m not happy with any of them. One of them involved looping in Abraxas.”
“I somehow doubt she would’ve appreciated that,” Amanda commented wryly. She snatched his phone out of his hand before he could react, spinning around in a deft motion that avoided his grasping hand when he yelped and reached for it. “Let’s see here…Vinh. A romantic dinner out on the Observatory Overlook?” She looked at him flatly. “Seriously?”
Vinh shrugged weakly. He’d put that one down on the list at 2 am last night in a fit of particularly intense self-loathing. “Shared trauma is hot?”
Amanda shook her head. “Oh my god, you weren’t joking. You are out of practice. Is this what happens when people just fall into bed with you and you let them?” She slid his phone back to him. “Look, don’t try so hard. Somehow, Max doesn’t strike me as the type to like crazy grand gestures. I would know.”
“You…would know?” Vinh watched as Amanda cursed under her breath. Clearly a slip of the tongue then. A sliver of jealousy (hello, old friend) curled low in his stomach, but he shoved it back. “And what is that supposed to mean?” He had aimed his tone towards teasing, unbothered. And it mostly got there.
“Nothing,” Amanda quickly said, then crossed her arms and sighed in resignation. “Nothing relevant anymore, at least.” At Vinh’s pointed and searching look, she threw her hands up. “Okay, fine. In…one of the timelines, whatever one where she didn’t kiss you in front of me, we went on an…imaginary date?” A small smile curled on her lips, one that suggested she wasn’t as unaffected by it as she liked to suggest. “Revenge Horse. We listened to a concert and pretended we were there–right here in the Turtle.” There was a lull as she seemed to sink into the memories, but she quickly shook herself out of it. “Nothing came of it, though.” Amanda grinned, a little self-deprecatingly. “My therapist would’ve be proud.”
There was a long silence before Vinh responded. “Jesus,” he finally said, “Max would’ve been better off with you.” Well-adjusted, kind, cute, and willing to admit that she needed therapy. The last time he’d been offered grief counselling, Vinh had balked and couldn’t run away fast enough.
“Maybe,” Amanda agreed, making Vinh flinch, but she had always been honest. “But she chose you, so.” She grinned at him, looking a little sad, but mostly teasing. “I get to point and laugh at your efforts instead.”
“Ha ha,” he said sarcastically, drawing a laugh from her before her expression sobered. “...What?”
Amanda uncrossed her arms. Crossed them again, her face pensive, as if she was trying to decide the best way to say something. Took a breath. “I know we joke about it. But we’ve been through a lot. You. Max. All of us. I’m glad you noticed the amount of stress she was under, but Vinh…” She grabbed his wrist, dark eyes sharp and commanding. Her grip wasn’t so tight that he couldn’t pull away if he wanted to, but her gaze locked him there. “She just said she wasn’t going to run anymore. So you can’t, either. Got it?”
Vinh stared back at her. Another force of nature, of course. Max seemed to be surrounded by those. Here was Amanda, someone who maybe-also-possibly had liked Max, or still liked her (he recognized that look in her eyes whenever she looked at Max, had seen that look on himself from the night Max kissed him then took his picture), telling him not to fuck it up instead of just swooping in herself. It was a concession, a gesture of friendship, of goodwill–-one that she by no means owed him, but was extending anyway. Because of Max. “I won’t.”
Amanda scanned his face, and seemed to find what she was searching for, because a smile returned to her expression. She let go of him. “Good,” she said, satisfied. “Now go and come up with a better date idea, because these are tragic. You really don’t need to be trying this hard. Go with something lowkey. Less dramatic.”
Vinh rolled his eyes, standing from the bar stool and gathering his coat. “Yeah, yeah. I’m a theater kid, give me a break.”
Amanda hummed, amused, as she watched him sling his scarf around his neck. “Good luck. Oh, and Vinh?”
Vinh slid his hands in his pockets, ready to brave the cold Vermont air again. “Hmm?”
She smiled sweetly in a way that sent a cold shiver down his back. “Hurt Max, and I think you’ll find I’m the least of your problems.”
Idea #46: Scavenger hunt with clues leading back to our first kiss.
Vinh huffed and looked down at his mostly recently axed option. It was cute, in theory, sure. Suitably dramatic for him. But wouldn’t that stress her out more? Based on what Max had told him, she’d spent most of that week travelling between the two timelines, trying to find various clues to lead her to the truth.
Ugh, this was impossible!
And that was how Reggie found him, a hand through his hair, trying to work through his frustration without ripping it out.
“Um. Hi.”
“Reggie,” Vinh greeted, barely looking up. He recognized the nervous steps and the shifting gait by now. The slight tremor in the voice. Hm. Maybe he should stop being mean. He finally turned away from his focus, meeting Reggie’s eyes. “What can I do you for?”
It was meant to be a cheeky joke, but it sent red seeping up Reggie’s cheeks and ears. Vinh watched with some amusement. He did miss it sometimes–-how easy it was to get him to react to the slightest flirting or provocation. Max wasn’t nearly so easy to fluster, probably because she wasn’t still a kid in undergrad. “Wh–wha--”
“Okay, don’t hurt yourself,” Vinh said, sighing and dropping his smirk. “Did you need something, Reggie?”
Reggie shuffled nervously, as if not sure if he was allowed to sit down or not.
Vinh resisted the urge to sigh again, and pulled up a chair next to him. “I’m not going to bite, Reg. Considering we’ve seen each other naked, I’d think you’d be less freaked out talking to me.”
Reggie spluttered, but finally sat down, wringing his hands. “I’d appreciate if you wouldn’t bring that up again,” he said stiffly, looking anywhere except Vinh. “Considering.”
“Okay,” Vinh agreed easily, raising an eyebrow when Reggie’s head whipped towards him in surprise. “What?”
“Nothing!” Reggie said hastily, looking away again. “I was just…surprised, is all. That you agreed so quickly. Not going to torture me some more?” There was an edge to his voice, something defensive that Vinh recognized from years of putting up his own shields.
Vinh frowned, feeling a little offended. Sure, he had been an asshole. But he’d specifically pulled Reggie aside to apologize after the storm. During the storm too, actually. It looked like things weren’t as fixed as he thought they were. He bit his lip, understanding the feeling all too well. He wasn’t sure how he would have reacted if Safi deigned to appear in front of him again. So much left unsaid. “No,” he said, softening his tone. “I’m not. I said that I was sorry, Reggie. Am sorry. And I meant it. So, if it bothers you, I won’t address our past anymore.” He smiled in an attempt to ease the tension. “Scout’s honour.”
Reggie eyed him with a little suspicion, but seemed to relax a little. There was a comfortable silence as Vinh tried to turn his attention back to his godforsaken list. “...You don’t make those jokes in front of Max, do you?”
Vinh choked on air. Reggie looked a little triumphant at having caught him off guard for once. “What?”
“Jokes about you and me.” Reggie crossed his arms, and for a chilling second, Vinh saw Amanda in his place. Where the fuck did this confidence suddenly come from? “Because that would be a little fucked up. To, you know, say to your girlfriend.”
“I don’t–-we’re not–-” Vinh floundered uncharacteristically as he realized that they had never quite defined their relationship, post-storm. Oh my god, he thought in a wild panic, had he been planning date-like activities for someone he wasn’t even sure he was dating? She’d said they would talk about it. But they hadn’t, not really. They’d been spending time together. They’d been physical with each other. But given Vinh’s track record, that really could mean any number of things.
“Oh.” Reggie frowned, confused. “But I thought-–it’s just, Max said…”
Max said something about their relationship? “Max said…?” Vinh prompted, heart beating a little faster. He kind of hated how quickly he had become so invested.
“She said that she liked you. We talked about it a few times, you know. Your kiss with her. She probably wanted to reassure me that she wouldn't just kiss you without good reason.” Reggie shrugged. Right in front of me went unsaid, a small jab of the knife. “And she sounded hopeful. I don’t know, I guess…I guess I kind of assumed. Max hasn’t sounded hopeful in a while.” He twisted his hands together in his lap. “It was good to see her happy. After, y’know. Everything. Talking with her…it all made me feel like I wasn’t so broken, either.”
“Good, Reggie,” Vinh said quietly. “You deserve that.” As rocky as their own situationship had been, he’d never wanted Reggie to have go through this kind of emotional turmoil. He knew the kid had a complicated (at best) relationship with his family. And through it all, he couldn’t help the flutter in his heart at hearing that she had seemed hopeful. Well, well. So Max Caulfield cared about him, after all. “I’m glad Max was able to help you through some of it.”
Reggie huffed out a humourless laugh. “Yeah, well. I’m still thinking about therapy, so. But I get it. Max really has something special, huh? Not just her powers, I mean.”
Vinh’s gaze softened, and he remembered her sure gaze–-the one point of stability and support during the tempest that had threatened to consume Caledon whole. “Yeah, she really is something special.”
“Then don’t fuck it up this time, okay?” Reggie awkwardly reached over and patted his shoulder. There was a pause, as if he was deciding whether or not to say something. “I would, um, get rid of number 24 on your list. Somehow I doubt Diamond would be down for that.”
Idea #24: Get Abraxas to hijack the FAB and put up a gallery of Max’s recent polaroids. (Guilt trip Diamond if need be.)
“You looked?” And Vinh must have sounded absolutely gobsmacked, because a roguish grin lit up Reggie’s face–-the one that had drawn Vinh to him in the first place. For a second, there was no baggage between them, and they were back to that first night, just two guys grinning drunkenly at each other, young and high on life.
“Well, it was right there, so.” Reggie looked entirely unapologetic, smiling ruefully now. “Take care of each other, okay?”
“I don’t want to hear that from you,” Vinh replied automatically, but there was no heat behind it. He knew what Reggie was trying to say. Then, after a beat: “...Take care of yourself too, Reggie.”
Reggie stood, taking a deep breath and letting it go. “Yeah. I think I’m starting to.”
Vinh should have expected it when Gwen rounded on him next in front of his desk. There was no love lost between the two of them-–too much history and guilt they each carried on their shoulders to really start forming any kind of close friendship. Too much Maya, too much Safi, too much Yasmin in the air between them.
Was she even supposed to be here? Last he heard, she had been fighting the Board.
“...Yes?” he hazarded when the glaring lasted a little too long.
“I know what I’m about to say is gonna set the feminist movement back, like, fifty years, but…” Gwen sighed. “Take care of her, Vinh. I know!” She lifted her hands when Vinh looked at her like she’d grown another head. “I know, okay? She has powers, for fuck’s sake. Like you could do anything if it came down to it.”
“Wow, I’m having a really hard time figuring out why I should keep listening to this,” he said sarcastically, trying not to feel offended. And a little terrified, honestly, because he couldn’t deny that had been at the forefront of his worries whenever he thought about what was coming next. At the end of the day, he was…just a normal guy. Powerless, annoyingly human. What could he do in the face of storm-causing time vortex powers and shape-shifting and whatever the hell else was out there?
“I’m not good at this.” Gwen ran a hand through her hair, harried. “What I’m trying to say is…Max talked to me about Safi. After it was all over. And…well, the impression I got…let’s just say it might be all too easy for someone to succumb to the pressure. Or the lure of the supernatural shit they’re tangled in.” She pinned him with another stare–piercing and intense, something pleading in it. “So when it comes down to it, you have to keep her grounded, okay?”
Vinh was tempted to make another pithy joke, some kind of comment to off-play Gwen’s seriousness. But something in her gaze stopped him. This was important. Whatever she was trying to say was significant. He didn’t think he totally understood, but…he would stand by Max. He would always stand by her. That, he could promise. “I’ll do my best,” he said quietly. “I swear.”
Gwen relaxed a fraction. “Good. That’s all the rest of us can do.” Then she gave him another glare, this one more playful. “And, as a side note, if you hurt her…”
“God, I
know
,” Vinh groaned, feeling like smashing his face into his keyboard. “Have you all teamed up or something? I feel like I’ve been getting shovel talks all fucking week. Look, I don't plan to, okay? If anything, she's the one likely to break my heart. Why is nobody concerned about me?"
Gwen shrugged, levity returning to her tone as she smirked at him. “Well, you’d better plan a better date then, or it sounds like you’ll have an army coming after you for upsetting her. From what I heard…your ideas? Yikes, Vinh.”
Vinh’s jaw dropped as Gwen turned to leave. “Hey-–Gwen! What the fuck? Did Amanda tell you? Was it Reggie, that little shit? Did Max somehow catch wind? It was supposed to be a surprise! Gwen! ”
Her laughter echoed down the hall.
Vinh was going to do it this weekend, damn it. He was going to settle down on an idea, and execute it flawlessly this weekend. Because they finally both had some time available, which was rare now, given the chaos of her days, but
finally.
And he wasn’t going to fucking waste it.
If only he could just…
His phone pinged, as if just to interrupt and annoy him. He scowled, ignoring it.
It pinged again.
He reached for it, intent on shutting it up with the mute button. What he saw made him freeze.
Crosstalk - You have 2 (two) messages from @CupoSafi.
Vinh was shocked that he didn’t drop his phone, frankly, with how much his fingers had begun shaking. He was suddenly very aware of every harsh breath he was currently taking. But he was in his late twenties, damn it, and he wouldn’t be fucked up over a simple DM.
A DM from a girl who was dead, then wasn’t, who he had maybe loved once, who he had betrayed and who then betrayed him, but still.
He opened it, jaw clenched, not sure if it was fear or hope he was feeling.
From: CupoSafi
Sooo, I hear Mr. Casanova has settled down.
From: CupoSafi
My best friend? Fucked up, even for you.
Vinh grit his teeth. Anger. That was familiar, and easier to deal with than the other swarms of emotions fighting for attention inside him.
From: All_I_Do_Is_Vinh
Hilarious. You don’t have a right to judge.
From: CupoSafi
Ooh, he’s feisty. I saw your post. Queen of Swords? I see you’re dramatic as always. It suits her, though.
From: All_I_Do_Is_Vinh
Ha. It’s part of my charm.
From: All_I_Do_Is_Vinh
…What do you WANT, Safi?
For a moment, there wasn’t a response. Vinh was ready to call it a loss and close the app again when his screen lit up with her reply.
From: CupoSafi
Honestly, I don’t fucking know. I just wanted a sense of normalcy, just for a second, I guess.
From: All_I_Do_Is_Vinh
I guess I understand that.
From: CupoSafi
LOL, no you don’t. But it’s fine.
Another silence. He wasn’t sure what he wanted to say. What she wanted him to say. It suddenly felt like there was a gulf between them, one that had been bridged by Maya and then Max and now it was all gone gone gone.
From: CupoSafi
She likes simple stuff–-portrayed in different ways. Different lens.
From: All_I_Do_Is_Vinh
She being…?
From: CupoSafi
God, what does she see in you. I’m talking about Max, doofus.
From: All_I_Do_Is_Vinh
Thanks.
From: CupoSafi
She was explaining it to me when she was geeking out over some photography shit. So, y’know. If you wanted a hint. For your going-to-end-in-a-disaster date.
From: All_I_Do_Is_Vinh
What the fuck, how do you even know about that?
From: CupoSafi
Oh, Vinh.
From: CupoSafi
I’m a fucking superhero.
It explained absolutely nothing, but it was such a Safi response, that Vinh couldn’t help but laugh a little brokenly. Fuck. Fuck, he was so mad at her, but he missed her too. Like there was a hollow in his heart that he knew had been filled by her at one point, and he didn’t notice was gone until she was gone too. Maybe he didn’t love her anymore–wasn’t sure if at any point he really had, still, but…he knew that part of Safi would always be with all of them, haunting and comforting all at once even if she wasn’t there physically.
He wanted to ask where she was. How she was. But he knew those weren’t answers he’d be getting today.
From: CupoSafi
How’s the hedgehog?
From: All_I_Do_Is_Vinh
It’s fine. I kinda smashed it–or I thought I did, or some Vinh did. But it’s good as new now.
From: CupoSafi
Ooh, very metaphorical! I like it.
From: CupoSafi
Ah, shit. I gotta go. One last thing though…
From: All_I_Do_Is_Vinh
Hm?
From: CupoSafi
She likes you, so...If I even catch wind of you pulling some Vinh shit on Max and running away, I’ll hunt you down, k?
From: CupoSafi
Wouldn’t even be hard. Remember, superhero! ;) ;) ;)
It was Saturday, and Vinh wasn’t, in fact, ready.
Moses opened the door to his office, raising an eyebrow. “Um. You good?”
Vinh resisted the urge to snap back as was his usual instinct. “Fine. Dandy.”
“Right,” Moses drew out, clearly not believing him. “No offence, but you look like one wrong look could send you careening into a panic attack.”
A harsh laugh escaped him, and he looked down. “Well, well. Genius astrophysicist and good at reading people. Tony’s a lucky man.”
Moses smiled at the mention of his boyfriend. “We’re both lucky. But uh, sorry to disappoint you, Vinh, but you’re not super hard to read right now.”
“Sticks and stones,” Vinh gasped, “Words do hurt, Moses.”
Moses chuckled and moved aside to let him in. “Are you here to pick up Max? She’s just upstairs right now, grabbing something. I’m sure she’ll be down soon.”
Vinh kind of felt like he was back in high school for a moment, as if getting ready to pick up his date for prom and having to deal with the person’s parents. Of course, that was ridiculous. But something about the way Moses was eyeing him made him feel that same twitchiness he thought he had outgrown a decade ago. “Are you going to threaten me too?” he asked, only half a joke, because he’d grown to expect it at this point.
“Too?” Moses arched his brows, then huffed a laugh. “Looks like other people got to you first, huh?”
“Sure did.” Vinh shrugged, trying to come off as unaffected, but mostly coming across as a little helpless instead. “Sorry. You’ll have to get in line.”
The astrophysicist grinned quietly, then said one of the most terrifying yet comforting things Vinh had heard yet from any of Max’s friends. “Honestly, if I were you, I’d be more scared of her than anything else if you really did run. She tore apart time and space to get Safi back, after all.”
“You know, all of your friends have been giving me shovel talks.”
Max shot him a bemused look. “They have?”
They sat in Hellerton House, the fireplace crackling gently and casting a soft orange glow all around the living room area. Mugs of coffee Vinh had made sat on the low table, steaming and untouched. It was Saturday evening, and he was frankly feeling a little defeated. He’d really wanted to give her the perfect date this weekend, but his list sat on his phone, edited a million times and still not cleaned up. This quiet evening with Max was, of course, enjoyable on his end, but he couldn’t help lamenting the planning time he was losing. Maybe he’d head home early, and try to narrow his plans down to something at least tangible enough to work for Sunday.
“Yeah,” he said, instead choosing to focus on the moment for a second. He would figure it out tomorrow. He leaned over, gently nudging her shoulder with his. “You have some terrifying friends, Caulfield.”
Max laughed, looking pleased as punch. Of course she would find the idea charming. “I think it’s just because of how you see them, Vinh. They’re really not that scary. And some of them are your friends too, you know.”
Vinh shook his head, amused. “You wouldn’t guess it, with the way they were threatening me.”
“Somehow, I doubt it,” Max said, her voice laced with soft laughter in that way that he secretly adored. It made her seem more human, more approachable, somehow. Because there had always been something about her too far too touch, but moments like these made her feel so much more grounded in the same reality as the rest of them. “But it’s cute you tried to make a good impression.”
“I always make a good impression,” Vinh argued, taking her hand and tangling their fingers together. He found it comforting–-a vestige of the Vinh that had pleaded with her to stay, maybe. He still found it difficult differentiating the two Vinhs that constantly battled for dominance in his head. Memories layered on memories. Things that belonged and things that didn’t. “And I’m a little offended you think I don’t.”
She gave him a smile filled with exasperated fondness, sending familiar flutters through his stomach. How did she do that to him every single time? He wasn't some blushing virgin. “Right, how could I? Sorry, sorry. You’re very charming, Vinh.”
“And don’t you forget it.” Vinh sniffed, pretending like he was still offended. “You should be grateful I didn’t tell Gwen that you said you would totally smash.”
Max gasped, shoving his shoulder as he burst out laughing, grinning. “You wouldn’t!”
“Hey, I said I didn’t!” Vinh raised his hands in mock surrender. The two of them stared at each other for a second, before neither was able to hold it in anymore and they fell over each other, laughing. “You know,” he said, wiping at his eyes, “if you told me a month ago I could have this much fun without a Japanese single malt, I would’ve called you a liar.”
“Mhmm.” Max crossed her legs, her grin lingering. She looked so unburdened in moments like these, in a way that made Vinh’s chest hurt. “Why were you making the rounds, anyway?”
“What, to talk to them? It’s more like I got accosted by them.”
“But you did talk to them.” She tilted her head, soft locks of brown hair falling against her cheek. He wanted to reach out and brush them away. And what was stopping him? His own cowardice. It somehow felt too tender an action--it felt like it would reveal too much of how he thought about her.
Vinh flushed, thinking about his list. He’d die before he’d let Max find out about that.
“You know, you still owe me that favour,” she sing-songed teasingly, pausing meaningfully. “Because of your package.”
The double entendre made him laugh, thinking back to the moment where he’d become flustered at her teasing. That fateful day that made him think she was maybe a lot more interesting past just being “Safi’s new best friend”. “Well played. Fine then, Caulfield. Hard be it for me to stop you from collecting.” He held out his arms magnanimously. “What can I do for you?”
Max smiled victoriously, a little grin that crinkled up at the corners of her eyes and made him desperately want to pull her in and kiss her. “I want to know why. From what I hear, you’ve been having quite the conversations.”
“Blabbermouths,” he muttered under his breath, then sighed in defeat. He might as well own up to it. He knew her sense of curiosity by this point. If he didn’t tell her, she’d mysteriously find out about it anyway somehow. “Look, you’ve seemed stressed lately, and I…I just wanted to set up the perfect night for you to help you relax. Unfortunately,” he laughed self-deprecatingly, “it never really got off the planning stage. Or more precisely, off this stupid list I made. Please don’t ask to see it, I will burn my phone. And then I’d have to buy a new one, and not in this economy.”
Max was quiet, scarily so. Vinh steadfastly refused to look at her, feeling the heat on his ears and the back of his neck. He only peeked up at her when the silence started feeling a little too oppressive. “You mean you were planning something else?” she said slowly.
“Um, yes?” Vinh looked at her properly, a little strangely. “Keyword being planning.”
She burst out laughing then, pale blue eyes shining in the low light, and his breath caught in his throat, even as he knew he should have been feeling indignation at being laughed at.
“Hey!” he said, between his own chuckles, unable to help it. “Enough, a guy can only take so much humiliation.”
Max pressed a hand to her lips, trying and failing to stop. She bit her bottom lip in her valiant attempt, and sue him, his gaze was drawn down. “Sorry! I’m sorry,” she said, still laughing, not sounding particularly sorry at all. “I just thought…man, when you walked me back and asked me if you could come in, and we watched that horror movie that I know you were grossed out by–”
“Anybody would’ve been grossed out by that.” Vinh grimaced as he recalled the head walking around by itself. “And confused.” He shrugged. “But you like it, so.”
“That’s exactly what I’m talking about!” Max finally managed to stop her giggles, taking a few deep breaths. She leaned against him, cautiously setting her head on his shoulder. Maybe she was out of practice, too. What a pair they made. “You came over, watched a movie I specifically like, made us coffee, and…I don’t know. I thought tonight was the plan. I thought I was just getting you to admit it.”
Vinh’s brow furrowed. “No, tonight wasn’t–-wait a fucking second.” He shifted slightly, not wanting to dislodge her, hyperaware of her warmth pressed against him. “You knew there was a plan?”
“Like you said, blabbermouths.” He couldn’t see her expression from where she was resting her head, but he could hear the humour in her voice, even as she softened it. “I thought…tonight was your big plan to get me to relax.”
“It wasn’t. Tonight was just…me wanting to spend time with you,” Vinh admitted, feeling a little defeated again. “I was actually planning on doing something a bit more spectacular tomorrow. Jury’s still out on what, though. Sorry.”
“Hmm.” Max hummed, shifting a little closer. He reached for her hand again, pulling it into his lap. “Well, for future reference, this is just fine. Preferred, even.”
“Noted.” Vinh smiled quietly, then had an idea. He reached for her polaroid camera, sitting between their mugs. “Then let’s commemorate this.”
“Really?” Max sat back up, looking a little surprised. He felt a small flash of triumph. So he was still capable of surprising her. “You’re not worried about looking too rumpled?”
“Okay, A of all, good to know you think I look ‘rumpled’--” He laughed as she rolled her eyes jokingly. “--But B of all, no. And Safi was…” Vinh took a breath, expecting to feel a sharp stab of pain at her name, but feeling a dull throb instead. Progress, he supposed. “Safi was always saying how you liked to see things from other perspectives. And that your photography let you do that.”
Max’s gaze softened, becoming a little wistful. “...Yeah. She understood that better than most.” She rearranged herself. “So, what? Will you be taking a picture of me, then?”
“You first.” Vinh held out the camera to her, waving it slightly in invitation. “Lead by example, Max Caulfield.”
“I’ve taken photos of you before,” she laughed, grabbing the from him camera anyway. “But fine, if you insist.”
Vinh always loved the way she got when she took photos. The serious set of her shoulders, the careful way she’d frame a subject, the sparkle in her eyes. He remembered when he held the same love for acting. He wondered if one day he’d be able to untangle his love for theater from the disaster that had become his experience at Caledon and his abject fear of dealing with his past.
Spending time with Max, laughing with her, made him feel like he could one day step out of the cage and back into the spotlight one day. It was terrifying. It was exhilarating.
His thoughts were interrupted by the mechanical click of the shutter, followed by the printing sound of the picture immediately after. “So? What do I look like?”
Max smiled and handed him the picture.
Vinh breathed out slowly as he flipped it over, tracing a finger over the developing photograph. The Vinh in the picture looked a little melancholy (as seemed to be his default nowadays), but like there was a spark of hope there. His gaze bore just past the camera, focusing on…he chuckled. The photographer, of course. That explained the longing practically leaping from his expression out of the image. Depth on depth, the photo seemed to capture a multitude of complexities. “I think I get it now. A little.” Perhaps this was how Max saw him.
“All us artsy types, right?” she said quietly.
“Yeah,” Vinh murmured, taking the camera from her and lining up the shot as best as he could with inexperienced hands. There seemed to be a moment where they both held their breath, looking at each other instead of the camera.
Click.
The photograph printed in the charged silence that stretched between them, and Max bit her lip as she pulled the camera away and removed the picture without looking at it. “I meant it, you know. When I said that tonight was enough. I don't need big surprises and grand romantic gestures.”
Vinh frowned. “You deserve something special,” he said softly, because it was true, and he didn't know how to give it to her, as fucked up as he was.
“This is special, Vinh.” Max took a deep breath, her hands clenching and unclenching as she tried to center herself. “Look, I–I spent my entire life being left behind.” Her eyes flickered to where her jacket and wallet were sitting, and Vinh knew she was thinking about the mysterious blue-haired girl that she never spoke to anybody about. “And then…and then I was the one leaving it all behind. People ran from me, and I ran from people, and…” She sucked in a sharp breath, the most vulnerable he'd seen her since that night they'd first kissed and she'd turned before leaving, looking at him with a stricken gaze. “I spent years on the road, not letting myself have anything permanent. And it felt good, for a while, because if I wasn't attached, then I couldn't lose anything. You can't love and lose if you never loved at all, you know?”
“I know,” Vinh said quietly, because he did. He had felt it, viscerally, exactly what she was describing. Still felt it, some days. She probably did too.
“And I thought I was fine with it. But here, at Caledon, meeting Safi and Moses and Amanda…being with you…” Max swallowed and looked down, eyes liquid. “I started wanting something permanent again. And it's moments like tonight that tell me it's real. So, um, yeah.” She cleared her throat awkwardly.
I'm not going anywhere, Max had said before, gaze terrified but full of determination, as she looked at her friends surrounding her in the Turtle.
I'm not either , Vinh promised her, promised himself firmly. “Then don't go anywhere. I'll make you that drink I promised next time,” he said, voice just a little shaky, reaching for her. “And Safi will come back one day, and she'll make relentless fun of us both.”
Max laughed, sniffling, letting herself be pulled into Vinh’s arms. “No more extravagant date-planning, then?”
“No.” He shook his head, kissing her temple, smiling wickedly. “If I knew you were that easy to win over, I wouldn't have tried so hard in the first place. Could have saved myself a lot of embarrassment from our friends.”
“Ha ha,” she returned, deadpan, settling comfortably against him. A beat of silence, then, in a shy voice: “I like you, you know that right? Even when you're embarrassing yourself.”
Vinh huffed a laugh, trying not to let on just how much he needed to hear that. It sent his heart soaring anyway, beating a happy dance against a chest that he was sure Max could feel. “I like you too, Max Caulfield.”
“Because I feel haunted?” she said, amused.
“Because we both are.” Vinh’s grip tightened. “But we'll get through it.”
Max lifted her gaze. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.” Vinh smiled softly down at her, and finally gave into the urge to gently press their lips together in a chaste kiss. It was more comfort than heat, but it was exactly what they both needed.
Maybe they'd never be picture-perfect.
But maybe--
Maybe she'd ask him to stay, and maybe he'd say yes (always always always), and that would be okay for the both of them.
Their photographs were posted the next day on Max’s Crosstalk account.
One comment caught their eye, from a locked account, and made Max laugh so hard she choked on her drink.
EW, talk about breaking the Bro Code, guys! Congrats though on getting your head out of your ass, Vinh.
CupoSafi