Work Text:
Poke.
Poke. Poke. Poke.
“Mmmmm…”
The gentle prodding slowly returned Nazamil from dreamless sleep. The dim lights of the palace’s library slowly colored her view, and she groaned.
She extracted herself from the table, grateful that her scarf and book hade made for at least a half-decent pillow, and looked up at the offending poker. Rinwell’s smirking face greeted her.
Great. Of course the mage was the one to find her dozing off in a library. She wasn’t going to live this down, was she?
“So that’s where you had snuck off to. I will say, excellent choice.”
“Wer-“ Nazamil failed to suppress a yawn “-were you trying to find me?”
“No, just returning some books. Old myths on the astral spirits, from before the Renan invasion.”
“That sounds like some den- wait. Do you mean…”
Rinwell pursed her lips. “Nazamil… Clive might be right. Something’s not matching between the myths and the elements as we know them. Sure, myths aren’t exactly the greatest evidence in the world, but they also don’t appear just because, either. And now that I know what to look for, it’s getting hard to say it’s a coincidence.”
Nazamil straightened up. “We have a lead, then?”
Rinwell shook her head. “Maybe. I need more time, though. I want to at least to narrow it down to a few locations before I send you traipsing across the countryside.”
Nazamil sighed. More waiting, then. Worse places than Menacia to do that, but still.
Rinwell’s eyes brightened suddenly. “But what about you? Whatcha you reading?” She reached out to the table and snapped up her book.
Outwardly, Nazamil kept her face still. Inwardly? She felt herself curling up in embarrassment.
She was absolutely NOT going to live this down.
“The… Rodfather. Oh. And it’s about… yup. That’s… certainly a… choice…” Rinwell drifted off, eyes glimmering with a barely suppressed laugh.
“I just grabbed something on the way here, I wasn’t…” Nazamil sputtered, then sighed. There was absolutely no way to play it off. Not that kind of book.
“I thought I’d be giving Law grief over something like this! Sweet, elegant, refined Nazamil?” Rinwell finally lost the battle with her self control, giggling fiercely while desperately trying to keep her voice down.
“Whatever. Think what you will.” Nazamil snapped, composure slipping for a moment. Inwardly wincing, she leveled her face, but Rinwell had noticed.
“Nazamil, I was just teasing you. If you like reading it, it’s fine, even if it’s not my-“
“The book sucks. The story is contrived and awful.” Nazamil interrupted bluntly.
The mirthful light faded from Rinwell, worry starting to etch on her face. “Then why were you reading it?”
“It’s nothing.” Nazamil replied icily. With most people, that would have dissuaded further discussion. Most people had not traveled with the Liberator of Dahna, who tore down every wall imaginable, and Rinwell’s patient, concerned state finally broke her.
“I’m going to screw this up.” Nazamil muttered, hiding her expression behind her scarf.
“In what way?” Rinwell prodded.
“I ruined my family. I lost my mother young, and I was so sick of my father that I let Vholran kill him. I ruined my friends. I betrayed you all, harmed you, forced you to fight people you didn’t want. You should have cut me off, and frankly you should have cut me down. Why you’re still friends with me… you’re incredible people. You’re not normal. And now these… feelings. I’m going to screw up. I have no idea what I’m doing. Nobody’s ever told me what to do with them. I’m going to hurt someone because of that. Because that’s what I do.”
Rinwell reached to Nazamil’s hand, grabbing one with both of hers and giving a squeeze. “And that’s why you’re reading that? Because you want to understand what’s happening?”
Nazamil sighed. “I could barely get answers about what was happening to me physically. Nobody was going to tell me anything about how I should feel.”
Rinwell was silent a long moment, but still held her hand. “I… wish I had answers for you, Nazamil. I can probably help you find something better than that. It talks about romance and relationships, sure, but it also steps into certain fantasies that aren’t good for actual people, actual relationships. It’ll probably be pretty dry, but would have some actual basic answers.”
“… Please. I’m working off nothing. You know more than me.”
Rinwell broke her gaze, looking off to the side. “I might know more, Nazamil… but all that’s really done is let me know in better detail that I have absolutely no idea what I’m doing.”
“Even you…? I thought with how you and Law…”
Rinwell looked away, but not before a blush betrayed her “… you too, huh? I’ve probably fumbled it countless times with how much I stick my foot into my mouth, and he’s probably even worse. You… still think…?”
“I think so… but I did just explain how much I don’t understand, so…”
Rinwell slowly slumped in her chair. “Boys…” she groaned.
Nazamil gave a quiet snicker, finally dispelling the heavy atmosphere. “It’s all a mess, isn’t it?”
“Yup…”
“Why can’t it be as easy as Alphen and Shionne?”
Rinwell’s eyebrow shot up. “I can promise you, it absolutely was not. Oh, they’re great now, but they had some fierce spats. Remind me to have Shionne tell you about the time she pointed her gun to Alphen’s head and threaten to shoot.”
Nazamil’s eyes widened in shock. “Seriously?”
“Yup. That blowout was something else. So don’t worry too much about messing up, because it probably won’t be just you. Alphen and Shionne have messed up, I’ve messed up, Joshua’s probably going to mess up-“
“Wh-where did Joshua come up into this?” Nazamil stammered.
“If you get to bug me about Law, I get to bug you about Joshua.” Rinwell fired back.
“He just doesn’t know much so I’ve been helping him leans and he just has a bunch of questions so it takes a -“
“Nazamil.” Rinwell cut in. “You don’t need to defend it to me. You do you. I’ll just say, you and Joshua start spending a lot of time together, and all of a sudden you need to figure out romance? Pretty cute if I do say so…”
“Y-you’re reading way, way too much into this.” Nazamil stuttered, a traitorous blush now illuminating her face.
“Probably! You’ve known each other for what, a month now? You probably don’t have it figured out yet. But-“ Rinwell jabbed the book “you want to. And so it’s fair game.”
“Rinwell…” Nazamil whined.
“As much as I joke and tease, we all want you to be happy, Nazamil. Me, Shionne, Kisara, even the guys. Maybe it’s Joshua, maybe someone else, maybe you don’t know them yet. Whoever it is, we’re cheering for you.”
Rinwell got up and grabbed Nazamil, pulling her from the table. “C’mon. Let’s find that book. And then we’re gonna bug Shionne. I’d bet she has even more stories. I’m certain she’d love to share them if you asked.” She said, tugging her up.
Nazamil hesitated. “I don’t want to be a bother…”
“You’re not. Let’s go.” And with that, Nazamil let herself be pulled away.