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Liu Qingge slashes the oversized chicken down with an annoyed grunt. To be honest, he wouldn’t have taken this task in the first place— yet another fetch quest, and for some person? Still, he supposes, he didn’t choose to join the knights for fame and fortune. Not that he could have refused, with the task directly handed to him by the High Magician of the Court.

“My brother has no doubt gotten himself into trouble again,” High Magician Shen snaps irritably. He narrows his eyes at them. Several of the knights gathered flinch, and Liu Qingge almost rolls his eyes. So much for being the best and bravest of the kingdom if just one man can make them so afraid. High Magician Shen continues, “His wedding is coming quite soon and I would hate to deal with that horrid count should he not be there. Tch, is this really the Bai Zhan regiment? I’ve met literal children braver than you. Hm. You there, with the blue ribbon. Yes, you. Come here.”

Liu Qingge steps forward, though he racks his brain for why exactly High Magician Shen singles him out. He steadily meets the man’s gaze, and refuses to flinch when the man’s immense magical aura presses down on his chest. High Magician Shen humphs, and waves away the rest of the knights. They scatter almost immediately. 

“How unfortunate that you are the best of them. You will find my brother. There is no refusing.”

”So…” Young Master Shen hesitantly calls. Liu Qingge attacks the bloodthirsty chickens again, intent on killing them. The young man makes an affronted noise. “Hey! Those are Albino Phoenixes! Stop killing them!”

”Shut up,” Liu Qingge hisses. Young Master Shen’s words die in his mouth. “Do you want these damn birds to kill you?!”

The Albino Phoenixes are dangerous, with the ability to spit acid and snap limbs clean off. When their anger boils over, they will mindlessly hunt and wreck until the target is gone. He’s not stupid enough to leave them be— it’s either them or the birds, and Liu Qingge doesn’t particularly wish to die today.

Liu Qingge completely ignores the young man to slice at the birds. Young Master Shen finally decides to join him in the fight, and reluctantly sends magic flying. When the last one finally drops to the ground, Liu Qingge sheathes his sword. He surveys the carnage— the amount of corpses on the floor is truly shocking. He casually comments, “Hm. Didn’t think you would actually kill them.”

”They’re just sleeping,” Young Master Shen sheepishly explains. “I didn’t want to hurt them.”

”Tch!” Liu Qingge sharply tuts. Of course, this sheltered young master would be too soft-hearted to actually shed blood. Regardless, it’s not his duty to instruct the younger man. “Come on. Your brother wants you back as soon as possible.”

”Oh.” Young Master Shen sags. “Right.”

“Let’s go.” Liu Qingge urges. When Young Master Shen doesn’t move, he gestures out. “Well?”

”I think I hurt my ankle.” Young Master Shen admits shyly. Liu Qingge has to take a deep breath and calm himself. Now that he looks at him again, the young man is favoring one leg over the other, shifting his weight onto his left. 

Liu Qingge is far too tired of this. He has gone through an unbelievable amount of grief to bring this young master back to his family— crossing ice-cold rivers, walking through endless plains, cutting down beasts and avoiding poisons— all for this Young Master Shen to have hurt his leg. High Magician Shen will have to pay handsomely, he thinks rather sourly.

”Fine,” Liu Qingge grits out. He’s had a headache for hours now, and he refuses to let this stop him. He crosses over to Young Master Shen and doesn’t hesitate to lift him, a hand bracing against his back and the other supporting his knees. It’s shameless, yes, but Liu Qingge really and truly does not care at this point. He notes in the back of his mind that Young Master Shen is surprisingly light, his body quite warm. The younger squeals and his arms lock around Liu Qingge’s neck. Liu Qingge nearly stumbles— of all the shameless— but he quickly rights himself. Liu Qingge fumbles for an explanation of his sudden actions: “You— you said you couldn’t walk! That’s all, there’s nothing else to it!”

”Okay!” Young Master Shen responds back, flustered. Liu Qingge’s steps speed up and he unknowingly holds the man tighter and closer to him. Liu Qingge catches sight of a slight flush building on fair skin, and immediately refocuses his sight to look anywhere but the man in his arms. Young Master Shen tentatively grips at the front of his shirt before speaking: “Thank you, Sir… Sir…”

Liu Qingge suddenly realizes that he has never introduced himself, despite having the young man in his company for well over two hours now. Even if most of that time was spent fighting off the Albino Phoenixes, he still feels a pang of guilt for the poor conduct he’s shown. 

“It’s Liu. Liu Qingge.”

”Sir Liu, then. Thank you.” Young Master Shen repeats it to himself, mumbling the name under his breath. “And I— well, I suppose you already know who I am. But my name is Shen Yuan.”

“Young Master Shen—“

”There is no need for that,” Shen Yuan grimaces. “I’m really not some young master.”

Liu Qingge glances down at him, unimpressed. Shen Yuan turns his eyes away in embarrassment.

”Scholar Shen is preferable,” Shen Yuan flounders in response. He squirms slightly in Liu Qingge’s arms, but goes limp when Liu Qingge turns a sharp glare at him.

”Scholar Shen.” Liu Qingge addresses. “We will have to travel for a while. Quiet.”

”Right! Yes, yes, of course…” Shen Yuan nods frantically.

Liu Qingge is so focused on getting back that it takes Shen Yuan’s arms dangling loosely for him to stop and blink back to reality.

”Scholar Shen?”

Liu Qingge looks down to see that the man has fallen asleep, his body gone slack in his arms. Liu Qingge’s face scrunches. They haven’t made much progress today, and yet… Scholar Shen obviously needs his sleep. High Magician Shen will want his brother back in the best condition possible, he thinks. And with that thought, Liu Qingge backtracks some, back to the small cave they had passed not too long ago.

The cave is somewhat cold, a little damp. It’s not unbearable for Liu Qingge— he has slept in much worse conditions before. But as for Scholar Shen… He looks, well, weak. He had been exhausted enough to fall dead asleep while being carried by a literal stranger, and the violet smears under his eyes are so dark they nearly look like ink. Liu Qingge tsks slightly. He carefully looks around, and decides to lay the man down on the softest-looking patch of moss. The patch, shaded the large tree, would have been the perfect place to set up camp if Liu QIngge were by himself. But because he has a person to protect, he cannot allow them to lay outside, weak and vulnerable.

Liu Qingge makes quick work of creating a fire inside the cave. The sticks and tinder are easy to find, and the dried pieces of leaves and moss catch quickly. The next order of business is to lay out bedding. He gathers more soft moss and lays it down in the cave, before finally standing and taking some bedding from the magic storage High Magician Shen had given him.

“My brother will return in the best conditions possible. Here.” High Magician Shen snaps his fingers and a pouch materializes out of nowhere. Liu Qingge holds out his hand and the pouch settles in his palm. He ties it to his side quickly, fastening the oddly light pouch in just moments. “His favorite foods, extra water, bedding, clothes. There is money as well. You will let him stay in the finest inns and eat at the best of restaurants. Nothing less.”

The bedding is ridiculously soft and luxurious, far better than what Liu Qingge is used to having. It’s somewhat absurd to lay such premium materials onto a dirty, hard cave floor but it’s not his to keep, so it doesn’t bother him too much. He steps out and back to where he had laid Scholar Shen down. The young man is still sleeping soundly, and Liu Qingge carefully picks him up before returning to the cave. 

“Mn.” Shen Yuan groans as he blearily wakes up. Liu Qingge quickly lays him down onto the plush bedding and moves away from his side. He settles close to the fire. Despite his sleepiness, Shen Yuan’s eyes focus in on him. “Sir Liu, where did you…?”

”Your brother.” Liu Qingge pauses, poking the fire with a stick. It crackles and pops. He watches as Shen Yuan sinks back into his bedding, relaxing. The side of his face glows in the warm light. “Rest. We have to travel tomorrow.”

”En.” Shen Yuan squints at him before gesturing at where he’s sitting. “Where’s your bedding?”

”Don’t have any,” Liu Qingge replies. The moss that’s laid out on the floor will be suitable. A brief flash of emotion passes over Scholar Shen’s face.

”Sir Liu should join me.”

Liu Qingge drops the stick. He whips his gaze over to the shameless man ready to admonish him— he is getting married soon, he dares to proposition him— and the words die on his tongue. Shen Yuan lifts the corner of his quilt invitingly, and it is far too clear that it was an innocent invitation now. Shen Yuan shakes the corner impatiently, almost as if he’s trying to coax him over. He speaks, “Sir Liu is taking care of me. This one should, of course, return the favor.”

”No!” Liu Qingge immediately turns his head, refusing to look at the young man. Liu Qingge feels the heat rise up his face. How sheltered is this young master, to invite a stranger to lay with him so, so—! Shameless, Liu Qingge thinks heatedly. Completely and totally shameless.

”Sir Liu should take a blanket at least,” Scholar Shen insists as his head begins to dip down. He begins to sink back down onto the plush fabric, his eyes already closing. Liu Qingge stays deathly quiet as he waits for Scholar Shen to finally fall asleep. When he does, Liu Qingge quietly moves as close as he can to the entrance of the cave, and settles down on the pieces of moss he gathered for himself. With the harsh stone on his back and the night chill blowing on him, Liu Qingge allows himself to finally close his eyes and rest.

The next day, they set out early. Scholar Shen is still hurt, so Liu Qingge decides it’s for the best that he continues to carry him as they travel. The young master is awkward, clearly uncomfortable with him. It makes Liu Qingge feel far too frustrated; if he hadn’t run off right before his wedding, Liu Qingge wouldn’t have had to come out here. If he had behaved and stayed at home, Liu Qingge wouldn’t have had to find him on the verge of being attacked by numerous beasts. And if Scholar Shen had been more capable, then Liu Qingge wouldn’t have had to carry him back.

Along the way, the young master tries to initiate conversation with him, and fails miserably each time. 

“What does Sir Liu do in his free time?”

”Train.”

”And what else?”

”Fight.”

”… What do you fight?”

”Anything.”

”Um. Do you not have a form of transportation? We’ve been walking the whole day.”

”No.”

”My brother didn’t give you a horse?”

”Too slow. Inconvenient.”

”Oh. I see…”

Eventually, the young man strikes up a topic and simply does not stop talking. Liu Qingge hadn’t taken into consideration why the man calls himself a scholar— and as he rambles incessantly about his favored studies, Liu Qingge finds himself rather surprised. As a young master from the noble Shen family, he had expected Young Master Shen to primarily focus his studies in magic theory or history or literature even, as the generations before him have. Instead, Scholar Shen seems to enjoy the natural sciences the most. It is a strange contrast to his delicate appearance, his pale skin that suggests an aversion to stepping outside too frequently.

”The Eighteen Scale Serpent does hibernate in the winter,” Liu Qingge finds himself interrupting. Scholar Shen blinks up at him, clearly caught off guard. Still, Liu Qingge finds himself continuing his correction: “The Sixteen Scale Serpent does not hibernate in the winter. It leaves for warmer areas.”

”Oh? I thought that the two were the same animal in different life stages.”

”No. The Eighteen Scale Serpent will strangle any animal not of its kind and add it to its nest. The Sixteen Scale Serpent is one of its prey items.”

”Oh!” Scholar Shen says excitedly, his eyes wide. “Yes, that makes so much sense! Of course, I had thought it was strange that the Eighteen Scale Serpent would use the skin of the Sixteen Scale Serpent in its nests! It was hunting them and using them for winter sustenance, then using the leftover parts for its nest… And Sixteen Scale Serpents!”

Scholar Shen excitedly rambles some more on the serpents, before he transitions into lamenting how inaccurate his sources were. Liu Qingge tries to listen patiently. Eventually, the young man stops his rant and turns pleading eyes onto him. It makes Liu Qingge swallow somewhat thickly. The look is… To put it in other words, Liu Qingge suddenly understands the phrase puppy eyes. Shen Yuan’s eyes are large and dark, and the obvious pleading in them almost makes Liu Qingge see two ears drooping downwards.

”Would Sir Liu… Would Sir Liu perhaps tell me more about his adventures?” Shen Yuan asks hesitantly. “This one has not been allowed to study most of these creatures before. It would be beneficial if Sir Liu could guide this one in his studies.”

Liu Qingge mulls over it. He doesn’t like conversation— that much is obvious. But at the same time, he can see that this is Scholar Shen’s way of relating to him and attempting to find common ground between them. He frowns slightly. Up to now, he had brushed off and ignored Scholar Shen. Mingyan would be disappointed with how he treats him.

”En.” Liu Qingge confirms, shifting Scholar Shen in his arms so they can both be a bit more comfortable as they walk. Liu Qingge squints; there’s a worn dirt road in the far distance. Perhaps they can make it to a village before sunset. Liu Qingge starts to walk in that direction, and addresses Shen Yuan: “What do you want to know?”

Young Master Shen asks him about some bird— a Brown Tail Crane— and gives some descriptions. Liu Qingge tries to cast his memory back and recounts everything he remembers about it. The younger listens diligently, peppering in questions every once in a while and they continue their conversation as they continue walking.

It’s strange to talk this much. Liu Qingge hasn’t spoken for this long in years. Despite it, Liu Qingge finds that the conversation is actually rather pleasant. The scholar listens intently to every word he says, even going so far as to praise him for his impressive strength. Liu Qingge tries not to let it affect him too much; Scholar Shen is being kind to him, and that is all. Still, the unabashed praise leaves Liu Qingge’s cheeks feeling hot. 

Just before they reach the village, Liu Qingge sets Young Master Shen down on the soft grass and crouches next to him.

”Sir Liu, what—?” Scholar Shen starts quizzically, and then his eyes widen as Liu Qingge pulls out a veiled hat and places it on his head. The soft fabric of gossamer flutters down his head and obscures fine features. “This! This really isn’t necessary!”

”Your brother insisted.” Liu Qingge explains briefly, before picking him back up. The young master groans audibly, and despite having the veil over his face, he tucks his face away and into Liu Qingge’s chest. Liu Qingge pays him no mind as they walk into the bustling village square. 

“Please put me down,” Scholar Shen begs. “I can walk! I can walk!”

Liu Qingge pointedly glances down at the supposedly hurt ankle. He doesn’t respond to Scholar Shen and instead heads towards what is the cleanest looking inn. He falls completely silent as they walk and grabs at Liu Qingge’s shirt.

”Sir Liu won’t do this again.” The spoiled young master’s tone is firm, insistent.

Liu Qingge hums noncommittally.

“Maybe.”

“One room.” Liu Qingge demands, staring down the innkeeper. He sets Scholar Shen upright and supports him at his waist to untie his pouch and searches in it. He puts down a gold piece, and the innkeeper’s eyes fly open at it. “The finest one you have.”

”Y-yes!” The innkeeper pockets the gold piece immediately and scrambles out from behind the counter, hands shaking. “Just a moment sir, while we prepare the room.”

He runs off for a moment. Liu Qingge and his charge wait patiently until the man rushes back to them, chest heaving.

“Right this way sir!”

Liu Qingge grunts in recognition and picks Young Master Shen up once again (ignoring his not-so-quiet protests) before following the man down the halls. He’s pleased to note that the inn seems clean and well-kept with delicately carved furniture and wrought-iron decorations. The man leads him to the farthest room in the inn, isolated by itself. 

“Rest assured that no one will interrupt you! Let us know if you will require dinner, or if you want to…” The man’s eyes flick between Liu Qingge and Young Master Shen. Liu Qingge moves his arm up to block Scholar Shen from view and the man’s eyes immediately dart to the floor, to Liu Qingge’s satisfaction. He holds out the golden key to the room, which Liu Qingge takes. “We will let you rest!”

”En. Bring us dinner in two hours.” Liu Qingge demands. “Bring ice and hot water for a bath immediately.”

”Yes sir!” The man nearly trips over himself as he escapes.

Liu Qingge sighs internally (he hates talking to people, how annoying) and unlocks the door. He walks in, and then stops short.

”Sir Liu?” The young master squints, but the combination of the low lighting and the haze of the veil obscures his vision. “Is there something wrong?”

There is an issue. The bed looks soft and fine, with luxurious silk sheets and soft pillows. The single bed in the room. Liu Qingge spots flower petals scattered on the bed, a bottle of wine on the table… He turns bright red.

This is not a normal room. This is a room for, for—! He grits his teeth. 

It’s fine. 

This is the best room that they have, and Scholar Shen needs the best room possible. He has no idea why the innkeeper had thought they were lovers when Liu Qingge is clearly a knight and his companion a noble, but he can’t let it bother him. They’re here to rest, and to get food. Liu Qingge firmly resolves to ignore the shaking feeling in his heart.

Liu Qingge sets Scholar Shen down at the edge of the bed. For some strange reason, his breath catches in his throat as he lifts the veil from the noble’s face. Scholar Shen’s gaze burns, and Liu Qingge can’t look away. Liu Qingge freezes. The candle light flickers on their faces, low and sensual. Liu Qingge has to look away first, but the tension in the air doesn’t dissipate. To busy himself, he kneels. The younger man’s breath stops, and then it all releases as Liu Qingge gently takes the scholar’s delicate foot to inspect his swollen ankle.

”Scholar Shen. May I?” The words nearly choke him, and the younger just barely nods, his eyes dark and warm. Liu Qingge carefully takes his fine shoe off and rolls his sock down, exposing a delicate ankle. It’s shameless and it is inappropriate beyond all beliefs (Liu Qingge has a distinct memory of his mother scolding him and Mingyan for rolling their pants too high and exposing their ankles when they went to the lakeside to play). Still, Liu Qingge fights down the instinctual urge to look away to instead look at how badly Scholar Shen has hurt his ankle. 

True to his words, the noble’s ankle has swollen rather badly, the skin inflamed and harshly red. Liu Qingge carefully sets down his foot and repeats the same process to the other foot, simply to check. The difference between the two is stark— his other ankle is slender and carefully sloped, a gentle curve that leads out to long, elegant lines. A pointed thought pokes at Liu Qingge; he should have checked his ankle earlier. He should have at least tried to help relieve some of the discomfort and pain the younger man must have experienced. Liu Qingge grabs a cloth bandage from the magic pouch.

”Be still. It might hurt,” Liu Qingge warns. As carefully as he can, Liu Qingge begins to slowly wrap the white gauze around his ankle. Young Master Shen hisses, but he stays incredibly still as Liu Qingge winds the strip around and around. Liu Qingge opens his mouth to speak, but he’s interrupted by a hesitant knock at the door. He stands from where he was, with one last remark to the other: “Stay there.”

The attendant keeps his eyes down as he lugs in the buckets of hot water. Liu Qingge ignores him to take the ice to his charge. He wraps the cold cubes with a soft towel and lays it against Scholar Shen’s ankle, careful not to press it down. Liu Qingge focuses on the noble, and pointedly attempts to ignore the way his legs seem to stretch on and on and the way his warm skin cools down as Liu Qingge holds the ice to the swell. Finally, the ice cubes melt and the door clicks behind them. Liu Qingge picks him up again, and carries him to the bathroom. 

The younger man fusses in his arms, protesting at every step: “Sir Liu, this isn’t necessary! Please, I can wash myself!”

”Call me when you’re done,” Liu Qingge instructs, his embarrassment sharpening his words. To even think about helping the other bathe is, is… No! Liu Qingge has to take a deep breath. 

Scholar Shen is getting married. The reminder shocks cold through him, sobering him immediately. That’s right— how could he forget? Young Master Shen Yuan is a noble. His wedding is coming soon. Liu Qingge is here out of obligation. He is here because he is being paid to do so. To the other, he is simply a knight. The Liu family has always been a well-respected knight family, but the Shen family is one of the most prestigious members of the nobility that exist. 

Liu Qingge directs his gaze to the floor, and wills the shameless thoughts out of his head. It’s the inn’s fault, he thinks. For giving them a lover’s room, for muddying the clear thoughts he had with those ridiculous and baseless assumptions… He turns his back quickly, and stiffly marches out the bathroom before almost slamming the door. He has to clean up those stupid petals, hide the bottle of wine away…

This quest has become much more complicated than he would’ve thought.

Scholar Shen’s bath doesn’t take too long, and Liu Qingge quickly assists him in getting ready for bed. Liu Qingge’s thoughts whirl as he tries to figure out what he should do. Of course, the young master must sleep in the bed, supplemented by his favorite quilts and pillows. He paces, agitated. He acutely feels the noble’s burning gaze on him from where he’s tucked in.

”Sir Liu.” Young Master Shen calls to him. “It does not bother me. Won’t you join me? The bed is big enough for two.”

And that’s the damn issue, Liu Qingge wants to snap back. The issue is that there is only one bed, and there are two of them. They are not promised to each other, nor are there any appropriate ties between them that could justify sharing the same bed. Oblivious to his dilemma, the oblivious young master just continues his coaxing.

”I do not mind. In fact, I would like for Sir Liu to join me.” Liu Qingge snaps his gaze to Scholar  Shen, a harsh rebuke coming to his lips. It dies as the other continues: “If it bothers Sir Liu so greatly, then I will sleep on the floor.”

”You will do no such thing.”

”I will. Sir Liu has taken such good care of me. It is only fair that you get to sleep on the bed at least once.”

”I will sleep on the floor.”

”Then I will sleep on the floor.”

They bicker back and forth pointlessly, and frustration builds in Liu Qingge. He doesn’t understand why Young Master Shen keeps insisting on this point.

”Fine!” Liu Qingge snaps harshly. He stalks over to the bed, his frustration burning in his gaze. Scholar Shen meets his gaze head on, without even flinching. Liu Qingge slips under the blanket, his body tense as he stays as close to the edge as possible. Despite the bed being wide, Liu Qingge can still feel the way that the other’s body heat warms the bed. He turns his back before he gruffly speaks: “Are you happy now?”

”I am.”

The young man sounds far too pleased, and the bedsheets rustle as he moves. Liu Qingge’s shoulders tighten, and they relax exponentially when he realizes that the movement was only the other casting magic to extinguish all of the candles. 

“Good night, Sir Liu.”

”… Night.”

Shen Yuan lazes on the wagon, stretching out and basking in the sun as a cat might. Liu Qingge keeps his eyes forward, directing the horse slowly but surely. They had been lucky enough to find someone willing to part with a wagon for Shen Yuan to ride in, and another to part with a horse to drive them. It has been a week since then. Liu Qingge should hurry. He should urge the horse to go faster, so they can arrive at Cang Qiong quicker. Yet, as he guides them forwards, Liu Qingge finds himself strangely reluctant to increase their speed. The weather is fair and fine, the breeze just right.

It is because Shen Yuan is so comfortable, he rationalizes. Shen Yuan’s happiness and health are the priority, and there is time until they must be back. Increasing their speed at the cost of Shen Yuan’s comfort is not acceptable. Yes, that seems right. It is right.

”Sir Liu.” Shen Yuan calls aloud. Liu Qingge responds with a questioning noise. “No, no… Liu Qingge.”

Liu Qingge’s grip on the reins tighten but Shen Yuan continues: “Liu Qingge. It seemed strange that you would call me by my name, and I did not reciprocate that sentiment. Don’t you agree?”

Liu Qingge wants to argue— he does not call Shen Yuan by his name— and then stops short. He thinks back to their interactions, and he realizes with a startle that he has been doing just that throughout their recent conversations. Liu Qingge should correct himself (it is wrong to do so, it is shameless and wrong and it rankles) but then he considers how they have been traveling companions for several days now. At the very least, they are acquainted. While it’s not a privilege that Liu Qingge would willingly grant to many, he supposes that Shen Yuan deserves this at the very least.

”En,” he concludes after a brief period of silence. 

Shen Yuan doesn’t even hesitate before jumping into conversation, Liu Qingge’s one word response apparently more than enough to encourage him: “Liu Qingge, I admit that we still don’t know much about each other… Why don’t we take this time to deepen our bonds?”

Shen Yuan begins to pepper him with question after question, his natural curiosity extending to even him. Liu Qingge answers as best as he can, and tries to ask interesting questions in response. As they converse, Liu Qingge finds himself beginning to suspect and draw conclusions that he’s not sure he likes.

”You don’t know him?” Liu Qingge interrupts rudely.

”Not at all.” Shen Yuan sighs, and Liu Qingge knows he didn’t just imagine the note of weariness in his tone. “It is odd, knowing that I will return and be married to a stranger.”

”Did you want to get married?” Liu Qingge frowns, and turns his gaze back to the road. There’s a twisting in his stomach. He doesn’t like the idea of it. Liu Qingge had never been the fondest of romance, but the idea of Shen Yuan married to a stranger that may never treat him right sits wrong in his chest. Shen Yuan is naïve, yes, but Liu Qingge can see that his passion lies out in the world. His joy from studying animals and plants is palpable, and Liu Qingge has indulged him quite a few times already by making detours for him to go look at some weeds and little animals (after all, High Magician Shen had demanded that Shen Yuan return in the best conditions possible, and that includes his happiness). But if Shen Yuan is married to another noble, he will most likely be made to deal with family affairs.

”It is foolish, but I would have liked to marry for love,” Shen Yuan replies. Liu Qingge nearly bristles. What foolishness? Still, Shen Yuan continues: “Jiu-ge has always done what’s best for me. It’s for the best.”

”Even if it doesn’t make you happy?”

”Well, maybe in time it will.”

Maybe. Shen Yuan doesn’t deserve uncertainty packaged in an indecisive maybe. Shen Yuan deserves happiness. Deserves to make his own decisions, rather than be trapped into something that he may not desire. He is young, just a year or two younger than Liu Qingge even. 

Liu Qingge’s face hardens. He forces the horse to a standstill, and gets off. Shen Yuan sits up and turns to him, confused. Liu Qingge reaches into the cart and takes the scholar’s hand. 

“Shen Yuan.” Liu Qingge locks eyes with him, squeezing his hand in a bid to make his point clear. “If you don’t want to be married, then I will help you.”

”What?” Shen Yuan stammers, surprise flashing on his fine features. “Liu Qingge, what do you mean?”

”I will help you. We can delay for as long as possible, to make a plan.” Liu Qingge promises. It is absurd to go this far for someone he barely knows, but Liu Qingge can’t let an injustice like this go. If it were Mingyan in Shen Yuan’s place… Yes, Liu Qingge decides. “Whatever you want to do.”

”… Let me think about it,” Shen Yuan replies after some thought. He’s hesitant, but Liu Qingge has a feeling that his words have had a serious impact on Shen Yuan. “Tonight. I’ll let you know tonight.”

(That night, Shen Yuan rolls over and faces him. He reaches out, grasping his hand. Liu Qingge locks eyes with him, the moonlight casting over them and spilling onto the sheets of the makeshift bed.

”I accept.”)

Their relationship shifts. Rather than Shen Yuan being his charge, Shen Yuan becomes his traveling companion— a partner in a seemingly endless adventure. Like this, Liu Qingge witnesses how Shen Yuan blossoms from a burden on Liu Qingge’s shoulders to a reliable travel companion capable enough to truly assist.

Though Shen Yuan still prefers to sleep in a luxurious bed, they still camp out most nights, just them under star-studded skies. When they come across villages, they take on requests and slay beasts for money. Shen Yuan’s powerful magic supports his movements and bolsters his attacks, and Liu Qingge protects him with wide slashes and brutal swings of Cheng Luan.

Shen Yuan leans against his shoulder and speaks of the dreams he has— to wander at the seaside without worry, to explore the snowy caps of the mountains. Shen Yuan tangles their hands together and a fleeting question (would Shen Yuan want to do it with him?) leaves a whisper in its wake. Shen Yuan laughs freely, he speaks without restraint. He clings onto Liu Qingge without a second thought and grasps his sleeves in public, uncaring of the distance. He leans in so close that Liu Qingge’s breath catches, and it drives him mad.

(They don’t speak about the impending future. Liu Qingge has tried to bring it up before and each time, Shen Yuan draws back into himself. He becomes quiet for several days, lost in his own thoughts. The space usually filled with his lively chatter widens and the silence makes Liu Qingge’s throat close up.)

Overall, traveling with Shen Yuan is good. It is more than good. And yet, there is something within Liu Qingge that swirls in his mind, insistent with the way that it points at him accusingly.

“I’m sorry.” Liu Qingge bows his head deeply, his heart sunken in his chest. Shen Yuan pauses from his bowl of noodles, looking up at him quizzically. “I was unfair to you.”

The shame hangs heavy in Liu Qingge’s mind. He had let his frustrations and his short temper blind his eyes before— how long had he treated Shen Yuan like a burden? He had repeatedly ignored Shen Yuan’s attempts to befriend him over and over, and ignored Shen Yuan because he had thought that Shen Yuan was a spoiled, selfish young man.

But Shen Yuan isn’t like that. The young man is kind— sheltered, yes— but unfailingly good. Righteous. Motivated, smart, and determined. Yes, Shen Yuan is more than just his status.

”Why are you apologizing? You haven’t done anything.” Shen Yuan puts his fork down with a definitive clink. He pats Liu Qingge’s arm comfortingly. “If anything, I am grateful to you. Qingge has been good to me, always.”

Liu Qingge’s heart skips a beat. He looks away, silent. How could he explain just how unfairly he had perceived Shen Yuan? He had let his prejudices sweep him away. Shen Yuan is someone important to him. It is something he can freely admit to. It tugs at his mind. Liu Qingge nearly passed up on this, this comfort and this ease of companionship that he had never known before Shen Yuan. If he had been more stubborn, if he had been insistent…

Shen Yuan raps his bowed head with his favorite fan. Liu Qingge brings his ashamed eyes up to meet admonishment.

”Stop that,” Shen Yuan scolds gently. He boldly takes Liu Qingge’s hand and squeezes. “There’s no point in obsessing over the past. I am glad to have you with me.” Shen Yuan blushes slightly and mumbles under his breath, “You know that I… I return your sentiments.”

”… En.” Liu Qingge responds, distracted for a different reason this time. Shen Yuan’s hand is warm. Of course it’s warm— but still, it captures his attention. Despite their constant adventures, Shen Yuan’s hands are still soft like the skin of a delicate noble. His skin flushes with a healthy glow. And his green eyes hold an ever-present curiosity behind them, expressive in a way that Liu Qingge is slowly learning to decipher. 

Liu Qingge has been privy to what society has called the most beautiful flowers. Women in dazzling silks and flashing jewelry, men in tailored suits and carefully styled hair. And yet, they had left him unmoved. People like that are indistinguishable in a crowd, he had thought. Always pursuing the latest trends, desperate to blend into their high society.

But Shen Yuan— it comes down to this yet again, over and over, yet it is true— Shen Yuan is different. There is no denying that he is of noble descent. His grace seems to be innate, his manners and poise ingrained into him. But there is more to it. Shen Yuan is not afraid to express his emotions clearly, and even when he does try to hide behind his fan, Liu Qingge can still see how futile it is. Though he wears his silks, he is just as happy to wear rough cotton and linens. He does not decorate himself too lavishly, though he insists on wearing sentimental pieces everyday. His favorite clothes are worn and comfortable rather than stuffy and new. 

A fleeting thought brushes his mind, gently leaving ripples in its wake. Liu Qingge’s eyes clear, and somehow it feels like his world has burst at its seams, the ripples of his epiphany tearing threads in their wake.

His affections for Shen Yuan have passed beyond simple companionship. That simple ignorance has been shaken, shivering after that paper-thin facade has been torn away to expose something deeper. The depth of these novel feelings make Liu Qingge’s teeth ache, his fingers quiver. 

(He has known it for days now, he has known it since Shen Yuan smiled at him. But there is a difference between knowing of its existence and being able to finally put words to it.)

He loves Shen Yuan. And even though he loves Shen Yuan, Liu Qingge knows he cannot tell him. 

It is not because of cowardice, no. It would hurt and it would feel like knives to his heart to be rejected, but it is not because of that. Rather, it is because he knows and Shen Yuan knows that their time together is drawing to a close. Shen Yuan’s arranged wedding draws closer and closer, and they still have not come up with an idea to break his engagement.

Liu Qingge does not regret being with Shen Yuan even though he knows they will be separated soon. Rather, it only inspires him. He’s never wanted like this— has never felt this pull towards a person. It is selfish of him, but Liu Qingge doesn’t want to let go of Shen Yuan. He wants to extend his hand out to Shen Yuan, and have him willingly take his hand. 

Rather than for a faceless groom, Liu Qingge wants Shen Yuan to wear those marital silks and face him, to choose him and to give his heart to him without a single doubt. The want aches in his heart, it aches with a deep-seated longing, a pain that he welcomes and fears all at once for its novelty and its intensity.

Liu Qingge abruptly stands. Shen Yuan looks up to him, and his gaze scalds Liu Qingge’s skin. He can’t look at Shen Yuan right now, not when the tender feelings in his chest are threatening to bloom and sprout from the thin skin that covers his heart.

”I will be back soon,” Liu Qingge gruffly explains. His heartbeat skips and jumps wildly like a fool, desperate to be heard under Shen Yuan’s concerned look. He turns his back and clenches at the fabric over his heart, willing it to calm. “Just need to get something.”

”Mn, alright. Be safe, Qingge.” Shen Yuan bids warmly. Liu Qingge’s breath quickens at the simple goodbye, and he slips out of the room quickly.

Liu Qingge just needs a moment to calm himself, to reflect and think upon what he can do.

Shen Yuan being a noble means that he is most likely promised to another high noble.

Liu Qingge mulls over this, racking his brain. The Shen family is powerful enough to break engagements unscathed. High Magician Shen is also so powerful that none would dare to go against him. Based on what Shen Yuan has said, his brother has always cared for him, protective over him. He had argued for Shen Yuan to pursue his studies and had joined the High Court to allow Shen Yuan to be free to do as he pleased. 

The issue, Liu Qingge finds, is that it doesn’t make sense for High Magician Shen to have given Shen Yuan’s hand in an arranged betrothal. It doesn’t seem right that the man who has sacrificed so much for Shen Yuan’s happiness has, at the same time, made decisions that would restrict Shen Yuan.

There is something deeper that Shen Yuan has hidden away, Liu Qingge thinks. There is something about High Magician Shen, something that the two brothers share that makes Shen Yuan hesitate to speak against his brother. He knows that Shen Yuan has a deep love for his brother, and that High Magician Shen seemingly shares it. But there’s a look, sorrow that clouds over Shen Yuan’s eyes when he speaks about his brother.

Jiu-ge has done so much for me. I could never say no to him.

Liu Qingge wonders briefly if it would be wrong for him to step in. If it would be wrong to speak for Shen Yuan. And as ridiculous as it sounds, it nearly makes more sense the more he thinks about it.

There is a financial reward for bringing Shen Yuan back, yes. It is true that High Magician Shen handpicked him to find his beloved brother. But on the surface, Liu Qingge has no interest in the Shen family. He has no leverage in the political plays the nobles love to perform. He is simply a knight of the Bai Zhan regiment, a soldier trained to enact justice within Cang Qiong. 

And as a knight of Bai Zhan, it would be within his duties to mediate a conflict. It would be correct for him to step in and speak on behalf of Shen Yuan. to request High Magician Shen to reconsider the engagement.

If the would-be groom were to force the engagement, Liu Qingge could duel him. The thought is somewhat shameless; a duel to win the hand of Shen Yuan sounds like a contrived plot from Mingyan’s beloved romance novels. Yet, there is a shred of truth in them. Liu Qingge could challenge him for Shen Yuan’s honor. He would never force an engagement with Shen Yuan (no, the very idea of it makes him recoil) but rather, he would allow Shen Yuan the freedom to choose. To choose him, hopefully.

It is a seemingly simple solution. But they have both been running away from this, choosing to indulge in adventure and exploration rather than to stop and think of what they must do. Liu Qingge doesn’t blame Shen Yuan for it at all— after all, he is still young. Childish and naive at times. And how could he blame him, when Liu Qingge had let him do it? And though he has simplified it, Liu Qingge knows that it’s not that easy. High Magician Shen could refuse to listen to Shen Yuan. Shen Yuan could very well be forced to agree to the marriage for reasons they don’t know yet. High Magician Shen could send Liu Qingge away immediately and prevent him from speaking on Shen Yuan’s behalf. Liu Qingge is but a knight; he is not privy to the complicated politics of the nobles, and there could be larger factors at play. But running away like they have been doing isn’t an option anymore. 

Liu Qingge slips back into the room, hours and hours after he had left. Shen Yuan puts his book down and looks over to him, the lower half of his body concealed by the blankets. Liu Qingge steps behind the screen to quickly change into his sleep attire (his hands shake when he thinks about how close Shen Yuan is, only a thin paper to separate them at his most vulnerable) and he heads to the bed afterwards, drawn to Shen Yuan’s side. 

After that first night, when they had shared that bed, they had gotten used to doing it again and again. It is shameless, yes, but Liu Qingge finds it hard to deny Shen Yuan of what he wants. The space between him and Shen Yuan had closed, melted away and Liu Qingge cannot find it in himself to push away from him now, even when he knows of the feelings that bloom within. 

“Shen Yuan.” Liu Qingge sits on the edge of the bed and considers how his words will change this tranquil companionship. “I… We need to speak with your brother. The more we delay, the less time you have.”

Shen Yuan winces ever so slightly and it seems like the breath simply leaves him, his shoulders dropping in disappointment. His face drops, shattering for just a moment before a mask replaces it. Liu Qingge’s face pinches, and he dares to take Shen Yuan’s hand in his.

”I won’t leave you.” Liu Qingge promises him. Shen Yuan moves closer to him, hesitant. He leans into Liu Qingge’s side, his gaze casting down where their hands join. “I promise you. I will stay.”

”… You don’t mind?” Shen Yuan’s voice is small, thin. His words shake just a touch and betray the nervousness. “My reputation isn’t good.”

”I don’t care for that.”

”There’ll be lots of talk.”

”It doesn’t matter.”

”… Jiu-ge might not approve.”

“I don’t need his approval,” Liu Qingge explains patiently. For what it’s worth, High Magician Shen’s words don’t particularly matter to him. For Shen Yuan, Liu Qingge is willing to risk his own reputation. What is his worth in other’s eyes, compared to Shen Yuan’s happiness? Of course, there’ll be controversy about his interference in a noble’s marriage. The blame can rest on his shoulders— he’s never cared for the words of others. “Shen Yuan. What matters is your happiness.”

”Oh,” Shen Yuan says shakily, and there’s a warmth on Liu Qingge’s side, there’s a dampness that gets pressed into his sleeves. Liu Qingge fully turns to Shen Yuan, intending to speak, and Shen Yuan tips over into his chest, his arms wrapping tight around Liu Qingge and refusing to let go. Liu Qingge stiffens slightly, and relaxes as much as he can. He carefully places his arms around Shen Yuan too, mindful to keep his touch chaste but comforting. Shen Yuan shamelessly tightens his arms, burying his face into Liu Qingge.  Liu Qingge tries to keep his heart from racketing, from bursting out of his ribcage. He’s not quite sure he succeeds. Shen Yuan separates from him what feels like eons later, though he keeps his arms loosely wrapped around his torso. He looks up hopefully and asks: “Really? You’ll stay?”

”En.” Liu Qingge ruffles Shen Yuan’s hair gently. He gently pries off Shen Yuan’s arms to slip under the covers. As soon as he settles, Shen Yuan creeps over. It’s clear he needs more comfort, and Liu Qingge’s traitorous feelings make him invite Shen Yuan before he can even process it. Shen Yuan curls into him, clinging to him so closely that Liu Qingge can hardly breathe. It is intoxicating to have Shen Yuan this close, and he wonders what it would be like to press their lips together. He wrenches his eyes shut and forces the shameless thoughts out.

It’s not that. Shen Yuan wants comfort. It’s not as if Shen Yuan would want him in that way, not when Shen Yuan could have more than a simple knight.

”…I like you, Qingge. I really like you.” Shen Yuan admits into his chest, muffled. 

Warmth and dread alike curl into his chest. He wishes it were more than like— and guiltily, he imagines that Shen Yuan had said that instead. Still, Liu Qingge responds.

”Mn. I do too.”

”We should head back tomorrow,” Shen Yuan suggests, a confidence settling over him.

“En.”

Liu Qingge’s heart feels like it’s sunk right through his stomach and into the floor, but he agrees with Shen Yuan anyways. He had foolishly thought that Shen Yuan would want to stay with him just a little longer, for just one more adventure. If he had known, he would’ve… He would’ve… 

It’s useless to think of such nonsense, Liu Qingge tells himself. The fact is that Shen Yuan is done with their adventures, finally ready to confront his brother. Liu Qingge mulls over leaving the Bai Zhan regiment. Though Liu Qingge is grateful to Bai Zhan for letting him join and letting him achieve heights he would have never reached otherwise, there is something, someone who calls him. 

Shen Yuan would need a knight, Liu Qingge thinks. For all of the places he wants to go and the animals he wants to study, there should be someone to protect him. Even if he cannot have Shen Yuan in the way that he wants, Liu Qingge would be satisfied with just being able to see the younger man, to help him in any way he needs. It would be enough to have that sunny smile and thankful words directed towards him.

The moment they cross the gates of Cang Qiong, they immediately feel the pull of a magic circle, their bodies spirited away in a shower of sparks. Liu Qingge tenses and draws his sword, pulling Shen Yuan close behind him. It is not uncommon for nobles to be targeted in crimes, and the casual and bold use of magic means that the criminal is all the more powerful for it.

”Oh? What a useless person.” The scathing words hit him, and Liu Qingge relaxes only fractionally when he realizes that the words have come from a familiar, but scowling face. He hadn’t noticed before how High Magician Shen and Shen Yuan share such similar features. 

Rather than bristle at the insult, Liu Qingge sheathes his sword and kneels: “This one has returned.”

”Tch,” High Magician Shen tuts, obviously displeased. His face is cold and hard as he speaks. “No sense of duty. My brother did not wander far. And yet, it took nearly three months to return.”

High Magician Shen turns onto Shen Yuan, and Shen Yuan’s figure tenses as his brother walks closer and begins to scold him: “And you! Leaving without a word, disappearing and leaving me to talk to your intended! Do you know what I had to go through? Tsk, you ungrateful brat! Let me look at you, have you been eating well…?”

High Magician Shen continues to fuss over Shen Yuan, poking and prodding. A blinding smile creeps onto Shen Yuan’s face, until he finally can’t take it and he envelops his brother in a hug. High Magician Shen freezes, before he returns the hug awkwardly.

”I’m fine, Jiu-ge.” Shen Yuan comforts him. His eyes flicker over to Liu Qingge, and then back to his brother. “Please don’t be mad at Sir Liu. It was because of me that we were so late.”

”Is that so.” High Magician Shen (Shen Jiu?) sounds thoroughly and completely unimpressed. “Hmph.”

A bag gets thrown at Liu Qingge, so fast it looks like simply a blur. Liu Qingge automatically catches it before it can even get close to his head, though Shen Yuan still gasps in horror. Liu Qingge opens the bag, and the blinding glint of golden coins and precious jewels in a seemingly endless pouch greets his eyes. It’s more wealth than what Liu Qingge has ever seen in his life.

And yet, it is entirely unappealing. Liu Qingge stands up straight, shutting the pouch. High Magician Shen eyes him warily as he approaches.

”Your compensation. Though you were not nearly as timely as you should have been, my brother is in fine condition.” Shen Jiu explains, clearly a dismissal. But Liu Qingge simply stands there.  Shen Jiu frowns. “There is nothing else. You have been paid far more than what you are worth.”

”Wait, Jiu-ge.” Shen Yuan interrupts his brother, placing a hand on his crossed arms. Shen Jiu’s face softens just a touch as he turns to his brother. “There’s something I want to talk to you about. Please?”

Liu Qingge nods slightly, and Shen Yuan catches the motion out the corner of his eye. He visibly readies himself, taking a deep breath before blurting out: “It’s about the wedding.”

”Of course, you want to talk about that.” Shen Jiu snorts. He directs his attention to Liu Qingge. “Leave us. We do not require your presence anymore.”

Liu Qingge drops the bag of gold. A few loose pieces escape, glinting coins rolling across the floor. He gets down on one knee.

”I wish to be paid in a different way.” Liu Qingge intones, keeping his head down as he makes his request. “One wish, and that is all.”

Liu Qingge doesn’t raise his head, respectful as possible. He only hears the shuffle of footsteps around him, the rustle of fine cloth.

”Tch. So demanding. Fine,” Shen Jiu snaps out. “I will talk with A-Yuan, and perhaps if I’m feeling kind, I will consider listening to you.”

”En.” Liu Qingge keeps his eyes trained to the ground, though the affectionate name— A-Yuan, how beautiful— rings in his mind. He wonders if Shen Yuan would let him call him that too. He stares down at the cold stone floor. He knows what he will ask for. 

Riches are tempting, naturally. Mingyan could live a comfortable life filled with all sorts of luxuries. But he had already rejected the endless riches that High Magician Shen threw at him. He could ask for power, for a noble title. But those intangible things mean nothing, and they don’t matter to him.

No. He will ask for Shen Yuan’s freedom. It is a reach to ask for it, but Liu Qingge knows he must. A magic circle activates under his feet, the pull still somewhat strange. But Liu Qingge knows that it can only be Shen Jiu who is transporting him, and so he allows the feeling to rush through his senses and feels the bend of space-time around him as he’s moved. 

He’s still kneeling when Shen Jiu addresses him, voice even frostier than before: “Rise.”

Liu Qingge rises, and meets High Magician Shen’s harsh glare face on. It somehow feels worse than when he had first picked him out from the Bai Zhan regiment. Regardless of his own thoughts, Liu Qingge chooses to say nothing and instead locks gazes with the magician. Shen Jiu scowls at him.

”A-Yuan has told me everything. Perhaps I should simply dispose of you. I can make everything you know, everyone you love disappear off the face of this earth if I wanted it,” High Magician Shen hisses. The temperature drops so sharply that Liu Qingge can see their breath fog in the air, little crystals of ice forming in Shen Jiu’s dark hair. Still, the magician continues his threats: “A-Yuan deserves the best. But you’ve taken advantage of him. I know you have, you brute. He has spoken of you far too fondly for having only met you months ago. Not to mention, he is already spoken for. I know what he claims to think of you, but what do you want with him? Answer carefully.”

Liu Qingge doesn’t respond at first, slowly finding the words. He doesn’t know how he has angered High Magician Shen to this point, but it doesn’t matter as long as he can secure Shen Yuan’s freedom.

”Let Shen Yuan decide his marriage.” Liu Qingge says unflinchingly. The chilly look on Shen Jiu’s face freezes in a flash of anger that makes ice look warm. Liu Qingge doesn’t let it faze him and he continues: “I wish for him to be able to choose as he likes. Whether that is to never marry or marry someone of his own choosing. That is all.”

”And you?” The other snaps. “Is this your way of proposing an engagement to Shen Yuan?”

”No.” Liu Qingge vehemently refuses. He doesn’t want to force Shen Yuan into a marriage— it was even the reason why they had met. The thought of it makes Liu Qingge’s stomach roil. The wrongness of it scratches at his skin. “Shen Yuan should choose. It does not matter what my feelings are.”

”So you don’t love him?”

The magician looks even more murderous at his words, which confuses Liu Qingge somewhat. His face pinches. It is wrong to lie, and yet, Liu Qingge finds himself reluctant to speak the truth. He is not ashamed to love Shen Yuan— Shen Yuan is beautiful, kind, an enigma and a fascinating mystery of a man. His thoughts must be plain on his face, because High Magician Shen takes one look at him and snorts. Still, Liu Qingge feels that he should speak aloud.

”I… I do love him. But I will not force him into a marriage. If he decides that he will never marry or if he wishes to marry someone else, then I will not interfere. I wish for him to choose for himself. That is all.”

“Fine. You have prioritized his feelings. Though I dislike brutes, you at least know that my brother comes above all.” High Magician Shen sighs, and he snaps his fingers. Liu Qingge blinks as the air quivers and a nearly invisible shower of shimmers give way to a hidden figure standing next to High Magician Shen. High Magician turns his back, but not before one last remark to the figure: “Well? Your brute of a man has told you what he thinks.”

The wording is strange— your brute of a man. Before Liu Qingge can even begin to comprehend what was meant by that, the hidden figure rushes to him. Liu Qingge tenses, and instinctively reaches for Cheng Luan. The figure pays no mind, and latches onto him in a way so familiar and shameless that Liu Qingge’s guard drops. 

“You idiot,” Shen Yuan hisses. Despite the angry words, his voice warbles so softly it sounds like a sweet nothing meant for a lover’s ears. “You idiot.”

Liu Qingge relaxes, and then he remembers his own confession, and suddenly the tension returns to his frame. Shen Yuan was there the whole time. He heard. A sickness comes to his stomach and rises to his throat. He separates himself from Shen Yuan and ignores the ache in his heart when Shen Yuan makes a hurt noise. 

“I’m sorry.” The apology is familiar on his lips, and it feels like ash sticking to his tongue and drying his throat. “If I knew, I wouldn’t have—“

Wouldn’t have told the truth. Wouldn’t have said those words. Wouldn’t, wouldn’t, wouldn’t. The thoughts run circles in his mind, intensifying his guilt and his regret.

”One of the first times you said that you love me, and it was to my brother. Do you know how long I’ve been waiting to hear that from you?” Shen Yuan pouts. Liu Qingge’s heart stops, the rabbit-quick beat halting so suddenly it makes him ache. 

Shen Yuan has been waiting for him? That can’t be. No, no, he must be misunderstanding. Shen Yuan has never seen him as more than a companion. They had started on such awful terms that Liu Qingge knows any chance of romance had withered away before he even knew it. Shen Yuan braces his hand on Liu Qingge’s chest, and he traces the space where Liu Qingge’s heart resides. 

“Liu Qingge. You have said that you do not wish to force me. Yet, you have not asked me what I want.” Shen Yuan guides his frozen hands onto his body, and Liu Qingge can’t move. The fine silken clothes nearly catch on his shaking, calloused hands. Shen Yuan murmurs so lowly that he nearly misses it. 

“I have chosen you. I made my decision long ago. I do not wish to marry anyone other than you. You have promised to stay by my side, and I will hold you to that.”

Liu Qingge gathers his courage to move one of his hands up to cup the side of Shen Yuan’s face. He almost gawks when rather than pushing away, Shen Yuan leans into the warmth. 

“En.” There are hundreds of questions that Liu Qingge wants to ask. How long has Shen Yuan known of his feelings? How long has he returned them? What does he even see in him? Despite his questions, he holds his tongue. Though they burn in his mind, Liu Qingge knows that they will have time. “I will stay. For as long as you will have me.”

Liu Qingge braves just one chaste kiss onto a soft cheek, and then he gets quite literally knocked off his feet by a blast of wind magic blowing him away from Shen Yuan. High Magician Shen scowls at him. Liu Qingge blinks dazedly— he didn’t even notice High Magician Shen coming into the room.

”Unacceptable! You will keep your dirty hands to yourself, brute. Just because you have promised to marry does not mean that I will allow such shameless behavior!” High Magician Shen barks out. “You will court for six months more at minimum. More than that, even.”

”Jiu-ge!” Shen Yuan whines, clutching his brother’s sleeve. Liu Qingge inwardly winces when he sees the deadly puppy-eyes. He’s never been able to resist them, and it seems like even Shen Jiu isn’t immune to it either because the man softens almost imperceptibly. “Qingge hasn’t done anything!”

”He tried to kiss you,” Shen Jiu snaps back. “I will not tolerate such behavior!”

”It’s not like we’re strangers,” Shen Yuan mumbles sulkily. “We’ve been together for months.”

”Listen to your brother.” Liu Qingge admonishes, reluctantly agreeing with Shen Jiu. The magician may not know it, but Liu Qingge is aware of what it’s like to be an older brother. If someone tried to kiss Mingyan in front of him and barely knew her… He would have the same reaction. Shen Yuan turns his puppy eyes onto him, and Liu Qingge looks away guiltily. He doesn’t want to waver on this, and his feelings for Shen Yuan have made him weak to the younger man.

”Hmph. The both of you should be ashamed.” Shen Yuan creeps closer to them, and he squeezes his brother’s shoulder gently before he moves lightning-quick to appear at his side. Liu Qingge watches, slightly impressed, as Shen Jiu’s face turns all sorts of colors but his expression stays the same. “Jiu-ge, Qingge will be part of the family soon. You should be nice to him!”

Shen Jiu’s face finally twists into something a little sour, his face a little green. Shen Yuan ignores his brother to scold him next: “Qingge, you should stand up for me. Aren’t I your betrothed now?”

”En.” Liu Qingge carefully squeezes Shen Yuan’s hand, bringing it up and brushing his lips against the soft skin there. He lowers his eyes respectfully. “I will do right by you.”

Liu Qingge lets go of Shen Yuan, and holds Cheng Luan out to him. Shen Yuan takes Cheng Luan’s handle, confused.

”If Shen Yuan wants, the Cheng Luan blade is his to command. I will be your sword and shield. Wherever you go, I will go with you. My loyalty lies with you and you alone.” Liu Qingge solemnly intones. He leaves the rest unsaid— after all, is it not already obvious?

Liu Qingge stares at the man in front of him. The man raises one perfect brow, before dismissing him. 

He’s quite a flashy man. He fits perfectly with Liu Qingge’s image of a stereotypical noble, to be honest. He’s absolutely draped in powder blue silk and golden threads, yellow gold rings on all of his knuckles. His perfectly curled hair doesn’t move an inch— Liu Qingge imagines the man asks for quite an extensive amount of hair product to be applied. Doesn’t that itch?

”Lord Shen. I heard that our engagement was called off. I admit, it caught me by surprise.” The man (a count, his hazy memory supplies) speaks. He leans forward in his seat just a touch. His smile slightly dims when Shen Yuan leans back, wary. Still, the count continues. “After all, you and I—“

”Who are you?” Shen Yuan blurts out. As soon as the words leave his mouth, Shen Yuan clams up, his fan already pulled out. The count’s face drops, and Liu Qingge has to hold back a smug look. 

“Lord Shen plays games. Just because you haven’t seen me in months doesn’t mean that you have forgotten me?”

Shen Yuan stays quiet. It seems as if that is exactly the case. Liu Qingge studies the count in front of him. Though he looks extravagant and ostentatious, he looks young— maybe even as young as Shen Yuan.

”I truly don’t remember.”

The count laughs, a trace of unease in it. 

“Ah, Lord Shen, you really are too funny. Do be serious though. That first time you looked at me— ah, I knew it was love! And then you sat by me for all of those lectures with Professor Yu!”

Shen Yuan frowns. It’s not a look Liu Qingge likes to see on his fiancé. Liu Qingge sneakily lays a comforting hand on Shen Yuan’s shoulder, squeezing it and then letting go all in the same breath. Shen Yuan’s frown drops off his face and he flashes a brief smile back. The count doesn’t notice.

”Are you talking about Royal Economics?” Shen Yuan asks hesitantly. 

“I knew you were only joking,” the count beams. “After all, you had responded so sweetly to my declaration of intent and you had given me a present in return!”

The count pulls out a satin box, the satin the same shade as Shen Yuan’s eyes. He opens the box, and Shen Yuan gasps.

”What the hell?!” Shen Yuan uncharacteristically lets slip out. His face starts turning redder and redder. Liu Qingge peeks; it’s a simple drop earring; a silver post and chain with a crystal clear aquamarine hanging down. “My earring!”

Liu Qingge recognizes that earring— the long-lost half to a prized set, given to Shen Yuan by none other than his beloved brother. Liu Qingge narrows his eyes. He knows just how much Shen Yuan adores those earrings. Even when he had fled Cang Qiong, Shen Yuan had kept the lonely one on him at all times tucked into a silken pouch. It was a coming of age gift, precious to the younger man beyond all belief. And yet, this count, who was only ever a forgettable classmate of Shen Yuan’s, holds it in his possession. Liu Qingge lets his hand slip down to Cheng Luan and tenses.

”You, you!” Shen Yuan splutters as he stands indignantly. The count rears back, caught off-guard by Shen Yuan’s anger. Shen Yuan makes a complex gesture with his hands and a magic circle appears in mid air. A gust of wind blows the count back, but the satin box gets brought straight to Shen Yuan’s hands. Shen Yuan urgently opens the box and pockets the earring. 

“You thief! You may have been a former classmate, but a thief? I would never give something so important to a person like you!” Shen Yuan bellows, his voice so loud Liu Qingge almost sees the glass of the windowpanes shake. Liu Qingge stands on guard, wary. The count splutters some drivel (no, no, I swear I didn’t steal it from you, truly)—

“Oh, I remember you now—you asked for my notes once! Was I meant to take that as a sign that we are fated lovers? You think you’re romantic? As if! You’re just a creep!! Gods, you really tried forcing me into this stupid engagement by stealing my items? You’re lucky I’m nicer than my brother; get out!” Shen Yuan all but screams at the count, frustration and anger building into a maelstrom.

Shen Yuan doesn’t even wait for the count to scramble out. With an honestly impressive accuracy, Shen Yuan hurls the box right into the space between the count’s eyes. The count’s eyes widen as he is hit, and the loud smack of the box against flesh rings in the room as the count slumps over, knocked out from the sheer impact. 

“Let’s leave, Qingge. We can deal with him later,” Shen Yuan sniffs haughtily. Liu Qingge trails behind him quietly. Once they turn into a private room far away from that unpleasant count, Shen Yuan turns and immediately barrels into his chest. Liu Qingge grunts from the impact, but his arms wrap around him like second nature. 

“That jerk. As if he could ever compare to you,” Shen Yuan grumbles heatedly. Liu Qingge snorts, but cards through Shen Yuan’s hair affectionately. “Tch. Maybe I should just let Jiu-ge handle him. I’m too nice for give that man what he really deserves.”

Liu Qingge chooses to bite his tongue and not mention how in that moment, Shen Yuan had closely resembled his older brother, down to the look of sheer rage and the haughtiness.

Liu Qingge knocks impatiently on the door, though the whole Shen family knows that he’s already here. Like clockwork, he makes sure to come by on Sunday afternoon, just after the bells of noon are rung throughout the kingdom.

This time, he brings Thousand Blossom Camellias, sprays of Mermaid’s Tears artfully arranged between the larger blooms. In his pouch, the parts to a Silver Claw Dragon. There is not even a moment that passes before the door swings open.

”Madam Shen.” Liu Qingge bows politely, though he already feels an impatience fueled by his eagerness. “This one has come—“

”For A-Yuan. We know,” She says, her eyes crinkling at the corners. “Xiao Liu, come in. We’re practically family already, no such need for the formalities!”

”En.” Liu Qingge doesn’t argue with her, used to the conversation. It’s like they run on a script at this point, the words so familiar he could repeat them in his sleep. Liu Qingge impatiently looks towards the drawing room.

His courtship of Shen Yuan has been slow, steady. Shen Jiu had insisted on it, and Liu Qingge has used the opportunity to truly spoil Shen Yuan and give him the romance he deserves. As they approach the drawing room, they overhear a conversation between Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu. Madam Shen raises a brow at the noise, and Liu Qingge awkwardly shifts on his feet. 

”I don’t see why we have to do all of this,” Shen Yuan gripes. “Qingge and I were already fine without this!”

”Going out and traveling with each other does not count,” Shen Jiu points out irritatedly. “He was only there to get you back for your old engagement— not that that worked out!”

”But he confessed to me that he wanted to court me,” Shen Yuan shoots back. Liu Qingge stops in his tracks. When did he do that? He combs his memory, searching for an answer. Shen Yuan continues, “He got hit with the Auspicious Truth Bloom pollen trying to save me and he just told me everything! Really, we’ve been courting for much longer than six months at this point!”

The Auspicious Truth Bloom? Liu Qingge casts his memory back, desperate to bring back the memory. Suddenly, a fragment hits him. They were some sort of white flower, he thinks. Completely and totally generic. It had been memorable because the Golden Eyed Snakes had surrounded them in the clearing, Death’s Call Vultures flocking above them. But the flower pollen’s effects didn’t hit him until hours after they had left the clearing. They had made their camp in the warm night, and the rest of the night… What happened that night?

”Sir Liu was affected by the pollen?” Shen Yuan frowns as he hovers over Liu Qingge. A soft hand comes to brush against his forehead and the young man clucks his tongue. His brow wrinkles in worry. Liu Qingge sluggishly blinks up at him. “How are you doing? Any pain?”

”My arm hurts. I don’t want to sleep.” Liu Qingge responds, the words falling from his mouth easily. The way the truth tumbles from his lips should concern him. It should, but Liu Qingge feels nothing that compels him to stop his unusual honesty. In fact, it makes him want to say more. “… I want a drink. Alcohol.”

”I didn’t know Sir Liu drank,” Shen Yuan comments, surprised. 

“I don’t. I get nervous.”

”Nervous?”

”Around you.”

”Around me?” Shen Yuan’s face twists in confusion before it smooths out once more. “Did I do something?”

”No.” Liu Qingge tries to tear his eyes away, and finds it impossible. He should feel more panic. Should feel fear grip him, should feel apprehension. And yet, there is only a pleasure that comes from speaking the truth. The words that have been held at the tip of his tongue slip past an invisible barrier.

”I’m nervous because…”

“Qingge!” Shen Yuan sweetly calls. He must have heard them approaching or something of that sort, because the previously closed drawing room door is now wide open. Liu Qingge snaps away from his thoughts. Despite his best efforts, the most he recalls is the warm night air and the feeling of a cool breeze ruffling their hair. There must have been something… There must have. Otherwise, how could Shen Yuan have come to the conclusion that they were courting from that point onwards? It bothers him, but Liu Qingge tries to push past it. He tightens his grasp on the flowers in his hand, nearly tight enough to crush the delicate stems. 

“Shen Yuan,” Liu Qingge greets. Shen Jiu sends a sharp warning glance to him, and Liu Qingge amends his address with a huff. “Young Master Shen.”

”Jiu-er, none of that. Xiao Liu has been courting A-Yuan for so long now, they’re past those titles now.” Madam Shen scolds. Shen Jiu nearly shrinks under it— Liu Qingge thinks to himself that if he told anyone that High Magician Shen could have such a sheepish expression on his normally cold face, they would laugh at him.

“For you.” Liu Qingge presents the flowers, and ignores Shen Jiu’s clucking tongue to instead focus on Shen Yuan’s delighted face. “I hope you accept.”

”Naturally,” Shen Yuan replies, eyes crinkling at the corners. Their hands brush when Shen Yuan takes the flowers from him, and Shen Yuan has the audacity to wink when Liu Qingge freezes.

It shouldn’t affect him so much— not when they have spent nights sleeping next to each other, not when Shen Yuan has tangled their hands together without shame and leaned on his shoulder late into the night. Still, Liu Qingge holds firm and his breath returns to him when that shameless moment passes. Shen Yuan fiddles with the flowers and adds them to a rather conspicuous  half-filled crystal vase on the table.

”See, look at how sweet they are,” Madam Shen fusses and the moment breaks. “Much better than that stuffy count A-Yuan was engaged to. Now Xiao Liu, why don’t you take A-Yuan? He’s been talking our ears off about today, no need to make him wait more.”

”A-niang, don’t say such embarrassing things in front of Qingge,” Shen Yuan protests, cheeks hot. He turns to Liu Qingge, and shoots him a smile so bright he nearly forgets where he is. “Let’s go?”

”En.” Liu Qingge nods, offering a hand for him. Shen Yuan takes it gratefully, and waves to his brother and mother. Liu Qingge promises to them, “This one will bring Shen Yuan home safely.”

“There was never any question of that,” Madam Shen says gently. Her motherly eyes soften (that must be where Shen Yuan gets those deadly soft gazes from). “Go, go! Let us older ones rest now. Really, young love is so hard to keep up with!” She turns to Shen Jiu. “Now Jiu-er, about your young man… Ah ah! Now when will he be proposing? Don’t tell me you don’t know…”

Liu Qingge whisks Shen Yuan off as Madam Shen’s attention turns to Shen Jiu’s own love life. Already, Shen Yuan begins to excitedly chatter at him— it has been far too long without seeing my knight, perhaps I should have you be my personal knight, Jiu-ge wouldn’t make us separate then, how have you been, I read about this and thought of you— and Liu Qingge allows the comforting sound to sweep over him. Liu Qingge smothers down the overbearing feelings that overtake his heart to stop Shen Yuan for just a moment and takes his hand to press a soft kiss there. 

“Improper,” Shen Yuan teases him, but he leans into Liu Qingge’s space as he does it. The contradiction teases at the edge of Liu Qingge’s frayed mind and threatens to unravel it all. “I suppose I can allow it, just this once.”

”Mn.” Liu Qingge turns his attention to the rest of their outing. He’s already carefully planned their trip— lunch, and a brief trip into a nearby forest for Shen Yuan to explore. He hasn’t been able to bring Shen Yuan out on any long journeys like they used to, so they’ve settled on this mild exercise close enough to Cang Qiong that they can still return to the Shen residence at the end of the evening.

Shen Yuan clutches his arm tightly, and Liu Qingge brings him closer in response.

He can’t wait for the wedding. 

He doesn’t need to marry Shen Yuan— the scholar has already returned his love, and Liu Qingge has needed nothing more than that. But being able to live with Shen Yuan, to be able to hold his hands and kiss his lips without the judgmental eyes of his family boring down on them is extremely tempting. They could spend their time together, and not be interrupted by them. And when they finally become married, Liu Qingge can justify taking Shen Yuan out on adventures as they used to. 

Liu Qingge turns his head to press the softest sigh of a kiss to Shen Yuan’s cheek. Shen Yuan turns to him like a sunflower blooming in the light, eyes already fluttering shut as he unknowingly chases it.

Liu Qingge can’t help but give Shen Yuan another kiss. He’s never been able to deny Shen Yuan what he wants, and frankly, it’s not something he worries about. After all, he has promised himself to Shen Yuan completely and wholly— as his knight, as his lover, and as his future husband.