Chapter Text
Steve woke up. He was put in a private recovery room. It took him a moment for his eyes to adjust. He blinked four times slowly, Steve felt slightly dizzy. Like he had taken a knock to the head. Again, slowly, Steve sat up in his bed. He noticed that he was out of his uniform and was wearing a white t-shirt and tan chino pants along with white socks. He didn’t understand. He was supposed to be dead in the bottom of the ocean. The door opened and the sight of Howard Stark quickly came in with a hot drink in his hand, when Howard saw that Steve was awake, he smiled brightly. Relieved.
“You’re awake! Good, I was hoping you would be soon” Howard walked over and stood at the end of the bed. Steve looked at Howard, again confused.
“Am I alive?”
“Well if not then the fumes from my machines have really gone to my head” Howard laughed.
“I don’t understand how I survived”
Howard walked over to the chair besides Steve’s bed and sat down “You can thank the serum for that, it helped you stay alive, you were a right capsicle when we found you sure, but you were alive”
Steve stared at Howard and shrugged, not understanding what was going on. Steve then found it almost instincts to ask the date. When Howard told him, Steve realised that he had been gone for over a year. Then another question came into his head.
“Why did you go looking for me? It’s been nearly two years”
“Yeah but you weren’t the kind of man who deserved to be given up on, I wasn’t the only one who thought that and despite what she says or how she denies it, Peg wanted you found even more than I did”
Steve looked up when he heard her name. His heart started racing, his palms went sweaty “Peggy...is she okay, she’s okay right?”
Howard slowly shook his head, finished his what turned out to be coffee and left it on the side table “No she’s not okay, whenever I used to mention going to look for your ‘body’ she’d lock down and tell me to leave it alone”
“Why?” Steve asked, a little upset. But he was surprised by Howard's answer “She cares too much I guess, I think that she was scared, y’know? If I found and brought back your ‘body’ it would all become very real for her, oh look I don’t know I’m just presuming, that’s the vibe she gives off, I mean it’s hard reading women as it is never mind a women like Peggy”
Steve smirked and chuckled slightly “Yeah…” he then looked to the door. Staring at it, in a way he was hoping that if he stared at it long enough. She would walk through the door. Steve looked back to Howard and said in a hopeful tone “Is she here?”
“No p e, she’s at work”
“Oh” Steve mumbled, in a sad and disappointed tone. Howard then slapped Steve’s leg “No it’s not that she doesn’t care, obviously she cares, she doesn’t know you’re alive”
Steve raised his eyebrows and then looked a little mad. How could Howard not mention it to her “Howard!”
Howard held his hands up “What what?! I just haven’t had the chance to see her, I would call her but i don't know the number, and believe me if she did know you’re alive then she wouldn’t be at work, she’d be sat right here, or on your bed I’m not really too sure how she’d play it”
Steve rolled his eyes, he then stood. He was still feeling a little dizzy but he then felt fine soon after. Howard also shot up “Whoa take it easy, pal, where are you going?”
Steve didn’t answer yet, he walked over to the boots there for when Steve felt ready enough to face the outside world again. It seemed now was the time.
“Erm Steve, what’re you doing?”
“I can’t wait an hour never mind maybe even a day I have to see her and I have to see her now” Steve said as he put on his boots. Howard then said with a laugh “Steve no-one knows you’re alive apart from me and marine buddies who let me go on the search with them for you, you’ll be catching loads of attention plus if you show up right now to her work it is likely you’ll give her a heart attack”
“I have to see her-”
Howard stood in front of Steve and held his hands up and placed them on Steve’s shoulders “L-look Steve, you’re not fit enough to go wandering around the city. You need to rest”
“But Peggy-”
“I will go to the SSR right now and get her, and I’ll bring her to you ” he slapped Steve’s shoulders “Alright big fella?”
Steve sighed and nodded as he began to walk back over to the bed “Yeah...alright” he sat down on the bed and clutched his hands together, he looked up “Please hurry, Howard”
Howard slipped on his jacket and cleared his throat “You got it pal” he opened the door and left. Steve let out a deep breath and lay back on the bed with his hands pressed against his closed eyelids. This all came at him like a ton of bricks. The only person who could really make him feel back to normal was her .
Peggy was at her desk, looking through the daily files that Thompson had landed in front of her. Sometimes she wondered if this all worth it.
And she has had hardly anyone to talk to in this place since Daniel left for the chief job in LA. Now she had literally no support, she didn’t depend on Daniel to stick up for her, in fact sometimes she told him to stand down. But it was just nice having someone who would stick up for her. She did miss him. But with him not returning any of her messages since he’s either very busy or just not interested in speaking to her, she felt more alone than ever. Thank god for Angie.
Ten minutes later Howard was given access into the SSR. He considers himself lucky that the SSR trust him. He stood outside the door that lead the the office. Howard peeped in a little and saw Peggy sat at her desk, drinking her tea and giving the added dirty look to Thompson as he passed. He opened the door and practically ran in.
"Peg!" He called loudly putting his arms in the air making Peggy jump and sigh "Oh Howard, so lovely to have you back" She actually did miss him she just didn't like Howard yelling when it was still morning. Howard then loudly clapped his hands together making her sigh even more and even jump slightly at the sound. She slowly stood up and put on a smile "What's going in Howard?"
"I have a surprise for you!"
"For heaven's sake Howard you are fully aware that I don't not like surprises. Or better yet your surprises"
"No really, you'll like this one, so the reason you haven't seen me in a couple of days is because I've been on a boat" Howard took a long pause. To build tension. Peggy however did not really catch on to his weird ways, again she sarcastically said "Thank you for that amazing surprise, Howard"
"No, no, just listen, I was on the boat because I was looking for Steve" Peggy then took a deep breath, in order to hold her temper. She was doing her best to move on, but with Howard constantly going to look for Steve and coming back with no results was not helping Peggy at all. It made her cry at night more times than she anticipated. Peggy slowly sat down and didn't say a work till she did. Not making eye contact with him she spoke.
"I told you to stop that...he's gone Howard"
"No Peg listen-"
"No you listen" Peggy spoke up with more emotion and stress in her tone, she held his hand up to stop him from speaking and looked up. Some of the agents including Thompson took a look at what was going on. Howard saw the tears in her eyes, falling onto the files on the desk leaving stains. She didn't bother to wipe her tears, she didn't bother to act tough or brave. Steve made her vulnerable. His death has ultimately become a part of her own.
"It's hard enough coping with the death of Steve without you coming in every few months announcing that his body has still not been found which just mean he could be alive when it's impossible, I'm sick and tired of this Howard, I'm sick and tired of crying, I want to move on"
"You can't"
"I'm fully aware I will never one hundred percent stop lov...but you don't help, Howard...and I don't know what to do anymore" Peggy held her head in her hands. Howard remained silent. He didn't know what to say. So instead, Howard got out of his pockets three pictures. He laid them down on her desk. Peggy opened her eyes and looked at them. Howard rubbed his nose as he muttered “Taken last night”
Peggy sat up straight again and looked down hard at the pictures. The first one was a big ice block. The one behind that. Was the ice downsized to reveal a body . Her breath was suddenly caught in her throat. Her bottom lip began to tremble. Finally she put those two aside the reveal the third one. Of Steve Rogers, asleep in a bed. Alive . Peggy’s hands shook so much that she dropped the pictures as she gasped and held her shaking hand to her mouth as the tears ran down her cheeks, with her mouth still covered she said in a gasp “He’s alive?”
Howard smile and nodded “Yes, Peggy. He is alive. He is awake ”
By now, every single agent in the SSR was listening to the conversation. Barely even being able to believe this almost as much as Peggy. She dropped her hand as she stood up and cried “He’s awake?”
“He’s awake...and he wants you”
“He does?”
“Hell yes” Howard laughed “Had to stop him from marching on down here himself, he was very determined to see you. But he needs rest so I told him I would come here and get you”
A tearful smile appeared on her face. She grabbed her old friend and hugged him tightly
“Howard I have never been more thankful for you in my entire life”
“I do try not to disappoint” Howard laughed as he patted her back. He put his hands on her waist and pulled her back as he looked into her eyes and said “Let’s get you out of here then”
Peggy turned her head to Thompson. His arms crossed, leaning against his office door frame. He gave her a nod and grumbled “Go ahead, Carter. But don’t spend too long”
He wasn’t as heartless as she pegged him down for. Peggy turned to her desk, grabbed her coat and her bag as quickly as she could and left the building with Howard.
Her heart was beating so fast she could barely handle it. Howard had his own recovery room in one of his homes. He set it up in hope that he would find Steve and was on the edge of getting rid of it. This was his last search for Steve, if he didn’t find him this time then he would really leave it for good, thank god he found him. It was scary thinking that Howard was so close to leaving Steve to freeze for god knows how long before he died.
“Come on, through here” he called to behind him as Peggy followed. Down the hall was the door to the recovery room that Steve was in. Peggy stopped and looked at herself in the mirror. She wasn’t a vain person at all. But knowing that she had been crying and she was just going to be reunited with Steve for the first time in over a year. She could at least make sure she looked the part. Peggy wiped under her eyes to get rid of the tear stains that remained on her cheeks.
“Peg you look great, don’t worry about that” Howard reassured her as he tapped on her arms, eager for her to get in there. Finally he feels like he hasn’t disappointed her.
“I’m just…” she looked at the door and took another deep breath “Nervous. Which is rare in my case” she looked back at the mirror and she was satisfied. Peggy looked back at Howard and nodded, she walked over to the door and placed her hand on the handle “Howard, would it be alright if-”
“Don’t worry, I’ll be down the hall, give you guys space”
Peggy gave him a grateful smile and watched him for a moment as he walked down the hall. She looked back to the door, she gulped heavily and shut her eyes as she found herself slowly turning the handle and slowly opening the door. Peggy’s eyes opened, seeing Steve sat up the bed, feet flat on the floor and her hands clutched together. She felt like she couldn’t take another breath already. He had gone merely a few hours without her...but Peggy had being going on a year without him. Steve’s head snapped up as he heard the door creek, to see Peggy stood in front of him. He shot up.
“Peggy” he said with a light sigh and a smile, a concerned smile but a smile nonetheless.
Peggy was just in pure shock, her jaw was slightly dropped from just the moment she was taking to just let all of this sink in. Steve tilted his head “Peggy?”
Peggy slowly walked towards, her hands shaking. She stood closely to him and stared at him. A part of her feels like he wasn’t really there, that if she reached out to touch him, he’d just fade away. Steve sensed this. He glanced down to her shaking hand and took hold of it, making her breath get caught in her throat once more. Steve’s brought it up to his cheek and smiled as he raised his eyebrows “See? Solid as a rock” he lightly laughed.
She still said nothing, her eyes just filled up. Steve remained silent, he took her hand down from his cheek and placed it over his heart. Peggy shut her eyes and felt a tear run down her cheek. She threw her arms around him and hugged him tight. Tighter than she had ever held anyone before in her life.
“I’ve missed you” Peggy confessed in a crying whisper. She felt his hand suddenly go to the back of her head, after a moment Steve then spoke “And I’m sorry”
Peggy’s eyebrows pinched together as she grew confused. “For what?” she pulled back and looked into his eyes.
“Leaving you”
Peggy felt rather taken back. But above everything she has felt over this year, she didn’t want Steve to feel guilty for being courageous. Peggy lightly shook her head as he took her hands off of his shoulders “You did what you had to do”
Steve shook his head and muttered “But...perhaps I did act too rash, I was scared, I was scared not only for the country but for you , I was scared that if I didn’t put a stop to it all there and then, then you would be put in danger...if I didn’t have this with me” Steve pulled out his compass that held the picture of Peggy in it, seeing it made her smile. “Having this with me, felt like I had you with me, and you gave me the courage to do what I did...but...I left you, and I can’t really stand that it has been hard for you”
She saw how guilty he felt by the way the looked down to the floor. Peggy lightly put her hand on his cheek in order for him to look at her “You mustn’t feel guilty” she whispered.
“But I do”
Peggy sat down on the bed, and pulled him down with her to sit side by side. She shook her head “Then snap out of it, I was never angry with you, I could never have been angry with you, if I was you'd know about it" He gave an amused smile at her amusing witty comment.
But still, he couldn’t help but say “I hope you can forgive me”
“There’s nothing to forgive, was I heartbroken ? Yes I was, you were my best friend and my...but I respected your decision and I would always fight to protect your legacy, because it was something that I have always cared for, just like you’ve always fought to protect mine”
Peggy suddenly felt herself become emotional as she said
“But it was so hard for me, I’m not going to sit here and pretend like it was a walk in the park because it wasn’t, I’ve not been able to think about anything else, all I hear when I close my eyes in bed is our last conversation, and how scared I felt because I knew that when I lost you I’d truly be alone”
Steve didn’t like seeing Peggy cry. He could tell she was crying when he was going to crash, he could tell by her voice. And even then he was just wanting to be there will her, to try and say something to cheer her up. Or be the one to wipe her tears. Now he had his chance to. Steve cupped her face and wiped her tears away softly with his thumbs.
“I’m here now, and I’ll make sure that you’ll never feel like that again, okay?”
Peggy nodded and finally cracked a smile. Steve kissed the top of her head. Steve let out a laugh to break the ice "It's must be strange though"
"What is?"
Steve then lent back on the bed, still staying close to her.
"Well...the last thing I remember was talking to you whilst I was putting the plane in the water, but so much has happened for you, you’ve met new friends...you’ve met new men ”
Peggy smirked and nudged him "Jealous?"
“I’m always jealous when it comes to you” Steve laughed “The feelings I had when I was with you was like...it was something I had never felt before” he felt his cheeks starting to blush.
“So why did it take you so long to-?”
“You make me nervous” Steve muttered with a laugh.
Peggy smirked and pressed her forehead against his for a moment as she then whispered “I can’t tell whether I like that or not” she pulled her head back again ever so slightly as their eyes fell to each others.
Steve took the opportunity. He moved his lips closer to hers. Granted he was still a little nervous. It had been a while. Their last kiss happened by Peggy leaning to him. When Steve took notice that Peggy didn’t move a muscle, and felt her right hand travel to the back of his neck. Letting him know that she wanted him to, Steve leaned in closer and pressed his lips firmly onto her. His hands went to her waist by her placing them on there, pulling her in even closer towards him. Peggy wrapped her arms around his neck, loosely.
Steve broke the kiss and said “So, you still like me huh?”
“I hate you” she said with a giggle. She laid another soft quick kiss onto his lips “I still can’t believe you’re here"
“I want to take you on that date we promised” he confessed.
Peggy looked down to her thin silver watch “Cutting it a tad late, aren’t we” she teased. Steve laughed and put her arm back down “Stop that I mean it, I think it’s safe to say we’ve waited long enough, so Saturday, eight on the dot? Just like we planned”
“I’d love to”
“Good”
“Good” Peggy added. Steve put his hand on her back "Peggy?"
She took her eyes back to him "Yes?"
"Can I also just say something else?"
"Go on" she raised her eyebrows. Steve stared at her lips and clashed his onto hers. Cupping her face as he did so. He then took their lips apart and rubbed his lips.
Peggy, rather taken back just mumbled out "Well said"
There was then a knock at the door, they looked up to see Howard stood before them with his eyes covered with the palm of his hands “Is it safe?” he dryly joked.
Peggy rolled her eyes “Don’t be so lude”
Howard laughed and dropped his hands, he slipped his hand in his pockets and walked towards them “Only pulling your leg, Peg...heh that rhymed-anyway! I’d hate to interupt but Steve, the doctor is here to check up on you, now that you're awake it’ll be easier to do some check ups”
“Yeah, sure” Steve nodded, then looking back at Peggy.
“I’ll be right out there” Peggy whispered as she squeezed his arm as she stood. She leaned down and briefly kissed his cheek, then left the room with Howard as the doctor came in the room, their eyes stuck on each others until the door shut completely.