Chapter Text
If there was one thing everyone in the entire pokémon world, except Ash, could see, it was the obvious crush the girl with honey blonde hair, blue eyes and a stunning fashion sense had on him. It wasn't hard to notice, when her eyes always followed the raven-haired boy whose infectious smile made any day a happy one. She would blush and stammer and nervously twirl her fingers.
If anyone spent even just an hour with them, one thing would be for certain: Serena liked Ash like a flower in full bloom once spring arrived. Whenever he was there, she would give him her full attention and take in his every action. It was like her character blossomed when he was near.
Like a flower, she felt threatened when the growth of her blooming petals was suddenly disturbed by an invasive species, looking to steal her source of light and leave her to the darkness, wilting into nothing.
She was glaring. She needed to stop glaring.
But it itched at her, the way Penelope dragged Ash to Arceus knows where and didn't even bother to ask if they had any prior plans (they didn't, but it's the thought that counts).
It annoyed her that Ash just let himself be dragged, something about how he gave Penelope his word and wouldn't back down now. Whatever she wanted him to face, he would do it head on.
It irritated her that she, herself, was being so irritable!
At this point, they had reached a field. One which she would have usually stopped to admire. It was full of wildflowers and pokémon who liked to rest under the sun and be amongst the many types of plants lazily, whilst other pokémon worked productively through their day. Normally, she or Bonnie would have questioned why the pokémon worked so hard and Clemont would have answered something along the lines of the pokémon helping the natural order of the world remain in constant balance. Ash would be nodding in the background, having seen it so many times before on his journey.
However, she couldn't stop if she wanted to be left behind in the middle of a field where she could totally get lost in, all because someone they had only just met decided she needed Ash for some secretive purpose that she wouldn't let anyone know about.
So Serena was glaring, and by the nervous looks Clemont was giving her, she was glaring hard.
Not that Penelope realised. Nor Ash for that matter. They were both amicably chatting about fairy type pokémon, their strengths and weaknesses and their type advantages.
Bonnie kept on glancing behind and giggling at her, whispering to her brother, but Clemont hushed her and held onto her to keep up with Ash and their new acquaintance, leaving Serena to fall behind.
Serena needed to take a deep breath, remembering her mother's words about keeping her cool when she felt frustrated.
The soreness in her throat made her realise how badly she had been holding back, how much frustration she actually felt. She was sure she looked flushed red with anger.
She grimaced at herself, hating the way she was judging Penelope unfairly all because she couldn't handle her own feelings. It was like a bitter taste in her mouth which she couldn't quite wash out.
She needed to stop.
Keeping an eye on the others, who didn't seem to notice that she had stopped walking, Serena breathed in and out. In and out. In and out.
She was riled up because she didn't like the way Penelope had laid claim on Ash and didn't give a reason more believable than because she won the battle against him.
Yet, Serena knew she had no right to feel this way. She was... what? Ash’s friend? The girl he met that one time in summer camp and never thought about again, until she - the one who did remember their time together - decided to go look for him once she found out he was right here in Kalos. It was evident that Ash meant more to her than she meant to him. She had expected it from the moment she decided to look for him.
Serena knew she had no right to act the way she was acting. She knew she was letting her feelings get the better of her.
Letting out a strained laugh at her own pettiness, she ran a hand over her face. She tried to gulp down the unpleasant feeling that was creeping up her neck.
She reached behind for her bag, zipping it open and took out her water bottle, downing some water as fast as possible to cool both her mind and body down.
A bit too fast, since she began to choke.
That is what alerted the others.
Ash, always the one to look out for others, called back to her, "Serena! Are you okay?"
She began to have a coughing fit, water sputtering out of her mouth as she keeled over, dropping her water bottle to the ground. Some water splashed over her legs and feet, but that was the least unpleasant part. One hand grasped at her neck as she coughed, trying to alleviate the pain which rose up every time she let out another cough. The other held closely to her mouth. The scorching hot of every cough felt disgusting against her insanely warm, suddenly feverish skin.
And then she felt it come out of her mouth.
Faintly, she could hear footsteps rushing towards her.
A few seconds later, a warm hand was on her back, patting her gently as the pain became harder and harder to bear. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but she could feel the rhythm of his voice calm her senses. Her coughing began to subside.
A few moments later, she stood straight up, breathing heavily as she slowly brought her closed hand to her side.
"Are you okay Serena?" This time, it was Penelope who asked. She held out Serena's water bottle.
"I- " She reached for the bottle. "Sorry- I- I guess I drank my water too fast. I didn't mean to make you guys worry."
From behind her, a hand was put on her shoulder and she immediately tensed. "Will you be okay?"
Turning to Ash, she gave him a small smile and nodded. "I'm fine Ash. Let's just go." Facing Penelope, she gestured to the older girl and said, "Lead the way."
She stayed at the back of the group, trying to ignore the way Ash decided to linger on front of her with Clemont, as Penelope held out a hand to Bonnie who gladly accepted it, the two of them having a conversation about the pokémon who worked in the meadow.
As she walked, Serena unzipped her bag and put her bottle back in its place, slowly zipping it closed. In reality, her leisurely pace was to take a glimpse at what had been clasped in her hand for a few minutes as she tried to wrap her head around what just happened.
Eyes widened, she realised it was a pale yellow petal, which was long and curled up at the end.
Surely, she was imagining things. Surely, that hadn't actually come out from inside of her body.
They were in a field full of flowers, so it was possible that the petal flew into her hand, right?
Except, she felt it. The way it slipped up her throat, brushed over her tongue and spat into her hand. She hadn't let go of it, for she hadn't wanted the others to be even more alarmed than they had been. So, all that time, it had been tight in the hold of her hand, the soft texture not leaving her grasp for even a moment.
Surely, she was dreaming.
"Serena?" Her eyes snapped from her shaking hands to Ash's concerned face. "Seriously, are you okay?"
Dropping the petal into her bag, she nodded once again, before quickening her steps to catch up to them.
Before long, they were on route to what they eventually found out was the school at which Penelope taught little kids. Serena felt embarrassed for her earlier musings, and made extra effort to help out however she could, even if she only had one pokémon to show the kids.
At the end of the day, she even pulled Penelope aside, apologising for the way she judged the girl without thinking, and how wrong she was to feel that way.
Penelope let out a hearty laugh, not feeling disgusted or perturbed like Serena expected her to feel. "Don't feel too bad, especially since you owned up to your faults immediately instead of letting it grow out of hand. It's only natural to feel jealous when someone hangs around too close to your crush."
Serena groaned out loud, muttering about how her feelings were obvious to everyone but the one they were meant for.
Penelope laughed again, pulling the younger girl into a hug before they parted ways.
Serena practically forgot about the little yellow petal which settled at the bottom of her bag.
It was easy, when everyday was a new adventure waiting to be explored.
A few days later, she got reminded of it when she coughed again, perhaps a little easier than before, and another petal met her hand.
To her horror, it didn't stop.
Every few days or so, sometimes without prompt, but mostly when her emotions ran high, she would choke up another petal, usually only one at a time.
Luckily, the others hadn't caught on yet, only looking slightly worried when she would cough again.
"Maybe we should get you checked by a doctor."
Would they even believe it if she told them she coughed up flower petals every few days? It was hard for her to even believe. From time to time, she would pinch herself to try and wake herself up from this realistic dream, but she only reminded herself that she was actually in reality.
Which... sure. If creatures with all types of different powers existed all around the world, weird conditions where someone coughed up perfectly fresh petals from out of nowhere would definitely be on a list of things with no explanation. It was perfectly plausible, right?
Why her?
"It's probably just my allergies. They do get a bit bad around this time of the year. There's nothing we can do about it," she insisted.
She could hide the petals in her hands or under her tongue, depending on the size. Or she could delay her coughs until she was certain none of them would hear. It was embarrassing, every time they looked at her when she coughed, each with varying degrees of concern and confusion on their faces. If they knew, she feared it would be even worse.
When Miette entered the picture, she wasn't too surprised when she hacked up the same petal as the first incident.
There was a pattern, she was realising. Somehow it had something to do with her constantly changing emotions, but she couldn't figure out exactly what about them correlated to the petals.
She could just see it coming sooner or later. Her emotions had been a rollercoaster, going up and down and up again when Miette would even glance at Ash funny, as if wanting to lay claim on the boy who was none the wiser to the two girls silently battling it out for his attention.
She found satisfaction in the fact that Ash didn't compliment Miette's poképuffs the same way he did to hers. She hated how Miette would inch closer to him, knowing exactly how she was riling Serena up by doing so. She felt annoyed when Miette would give her that irritating smirk when she gained a hand in whatever imaginary war between them that was playing in her head, making Serena want to knock her off her high horse and remind her that she and Ash actually shared memories together, and Ash would likely choose her over the blue haired baker any day of the week.
She was being jealous and petty again, feeling agitated about the girl who seemed to waltz into their life out of nowhere and make it her mission to be around Ash as much as she could. It was worse than with Penelope. Miette seemed to actually be interested in Ash.
She felt it instantly, as it took it's time to slowly build up before coming out of her mouth. She braced herself for a small coughing fit.
What surprised her was when she didn't stop coughing, and instead had a more violent attack than ever before. She held onto the counter of the kitchen she had been in to prepare for the competition, as she knelt on the ground. Her chest heaved as she tried to control her breathing, but it was more agonizing than any other time this mysterious condition disturbed her day.
A second petal. Then a third. Then a fourth. Finally, after a fifth petal, she could breathe, collapsing down into an exhausted puddle. She wanted to fall asleep right then and there, too drained from the unexpected development.
Or at least, she would have if the alarm to take her poképuffs out of the oven hadn't broken the few seconds of weary silence she had gotten.
Sighing, she picked herself up, and made her way to the oven, lowering the petals into her apron pocket, wanting the day to be over and done with. Tomorrow, she could get back into that competitive spirit and beat Miette in the competition. For now, she would get the piping and decorations on these ones done and give it to the others to taste test.
Serena tried to find something about the petals in between travelling, whenever she could. Every time they had time they stopped by a town, she would check if there was a bookstore and spend some time looking through the books to make an attempt at finding anything that could help her.
The others didn't question her wanting to spend time in the bookstores - each of them had their own hobbies which they liked to do whenever possible.
So far, there was nothing about the condition, not even a fictional book or fairy-tale.
What she did find, however, was several different books about flowers, including their meanings. She thought, maybe there would be something to do with the meanings of each flower she coughed out, so she took her time reading them in the bookstore, trying to digest the information with her brain. Though, there were still so many flowers she couldn't remember or identify upon first glance just yet, especially when a lot of the petals looked similar.
The meanings were getting nowhere. She was at a dead end.
Korrina was great. Outgoing, confident, an exceptional trainer. Just like Ash. She had a great bond with Lucario. Just like Ash and Pikachu. She was determined and had a dream she wanted to fulfil alongside her pokémon. Just like Ash.
Perhaps, because they were so eerily similar, that was why Ash and Korrina got along so well.
In all honesty, Serena couldn't help but feel a twinge of jealousy at how well they clicked. It was stupid and irrational, she knew that, but she didn't know how to stop herself from feeling it.
No matter how she tried to ignore it, however, it still stuck to the back of her mind like a magnet on the side of the fridge which no one could really be bothered to reach.
Maybe it wasn't just about Korrina and more about how incredibly well Ash socialised with everyone they met. It made her feel just a little uncertain of where she stood in Ash's life. Made her wonder about how many people he had met and bonded so easily with. Would she ever be able to have a level of friendship with him that surpassed most of those people?
Whilst she knew she had bonded well with Ash, she had never felt as insecure about their friendship as she did the moment Korrina rolled into their lives (literally) and matched Ash's energy perfectly, in a way Serena had never been able to do.
The more she got to know Korrina though, the more that insecurity became like a passing thought, one that she would usually immediately dismiss. She liked Korrina. Liked how enthusiastic she was over anything and everything, but especially when it came to her Lucario. Korrina was a good person. And Korrina really reminded her of Ash in the best ways.
Serena wouldn't let her small insecurity overshadow what she knew of the other girl. She had learned from Penelope.
Sometimes though, she thought too much and let her mind wander to that little bit of doubt and envy, lingering there for longer than usual.
She wished there was an off switch for her overbearing mind.
Night-time had arrived and they still hadn't been able to find Pikachu, Korrina and Clemont. But they had to settle down for the meantime, knowing that they wouldn't be able to find the others in the dark of the night. She knew it agitated not only Ash, but Lucario, to have to be away from their partners for so long.
Bonnie was sleeping in their tent and Serena decided to leave her be, opting to sit around the still flickering fire, soothing Fennekin who lay to rest beside her. Serena watched from where she sat, as Ash and Lucario stood side by side, looking at the vast and starry sky in a solemn but understanding silence.
"You must be worried about her, huh Lucario?" Ash spoke, loud enough for her to hear over the quiet noise of the night. "I am too. About Korrina, I mean."
Lucario gave him a questioning growl and Serena found that her movements stopped abruptly.
There it was again - that small pang which left her mouth tasting sour.
"Of course I'm worried about Pikachu and Clemont too, but, Pikachu and I have been separated like this before and Clemont is actually calmer than he seems when it comes to these situations. Korrina on the other hand, I doubt either of you have had to be away from each other for this long since you became partners. You must miss her a lot." An affirming nod came from the pokémon. "It's only natural to. I find myself missing so many of my friends from my previous journeys all the time! We went through a lot together so it's kind of hard not to miss them. But, you know what-"
Serena winced. Whatever he was going to say was cut off by an abrupt cough that, she realised a second later, actually came from her.
Her eyes widened when she realised what was about to happen.
'No! Not again! Not now!'
Ash turned immediately, his eyebrows furrowed and shoulders tense as he located her.
She was hunched over, looking like she was in pain, causing his worry for her to dial up to eleven in an instant.
He was beginning to hate it, seeing her like that, not knowing what he could do to help her feel better instantly. He was aware that she tried to hide it, tried not to make them fuss over her, but he was starting to notice the signs every time it happened. The reddish eyes and skin accompanied by her hoarse voice. The way her smile became weaker after it happened, but she still tried to appear strong in front of them.
He wanted to say something, tell her she didn't need to hide from him.
Ash didn't know exactly why Serena was ill. Heck, he didn't even care if whatever she had could be caught by him (Clemont already determined that if whatever she had could spread, it most likely would have weeks ago). All he wished was that Serena could get the help she needed and get better.
But she was stubborn.
Her eyes squeezed shut, sensing his worry.
Cough - "Sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt." She brought her hand over her mouth, trying to muffle the sound which came out of it and she coughed again. "I don't know what happened."
"Serena," Ash said, hurriedly rushing towards her. "Are you alright? Do you need some water? Or medicine?"
Trying to hold back a cough, she replied, "Uhh... maybe some water should be fine."
"Are you sure? I have some painkillers if you want them." He tried to speak calmly, hoping that she wouldn't notice the shaking in his voice as he watched over her.
"No! It's fine. I think I just have a dry throat. I just need water."
Ash wasn't too sure that was the case. Not when she looked to be on the verge of throwing up. Not when her eyes were noticeably red and watery. Not when they were performing the same song and dance every week and getting the same results. Sometimes even worse. Fennekin had woken up and taken to whining at her trainer, noticeably distressed. Serena wouldn't admit it to his face, but she was being incredibly stubborn.
Why was she still coughing like that? Why couldn't she listen to him and take something to at least sooth her pain?
Quickly, Ash entered his own tent, where he had left his bag and rummaged around for his water bottle. Opening the cap, he almost cursed when he realised it was empty. They had been so caught up in trying to find Pikachu and the others, that they had forgotten about refilling their water.
He peered outside the tent, frowning as Serena's face became more and more uncomfortable.
"Do you still have water in your bag?" She shook her head. "Luckily, there's a stream nearby. I'll go get some for you."
"Take-" cough - "Take Lucario with you." She knew he had his other pokémon, but she would hate that they would be disturbed from their rest because of her dry throat. Since Lucario was awake and seemed to be pretty akin to the night, she knew he would be safe. "Please."
Safe and away from her when it would happen again.
As soon as Ash and Lucario were out of sight, Serena moved away from where Bonnie was still - thankfully - asleep in the tent, recalled Fennekin, despite the little fox's protests, and let the petals out of her system.
There were only two this time. Both different. But they were the largest ones yet. One, she was sure was the petal of a daffodil. It was one of the flowers that she loved to plant with her mother in their garden, though the rhyhorn loved to chew on them whenever they bloomed.
She tensed, feeling horrified, as what would have usually been a clean, yellow petal, was stained with dark red splotches.
The other petal was mostly purple with white streaks. Or it would have been, had it not been covered in blood.
Her blood.
Brown spots were dotted all over the petal. It was also covered in little hair-like structures, unlike any other petal she had seen before.
Red. Red. It was all stained red.
Her free hand went up to her mouth, where she felt thick liquid dripping out. In the light of the fire, she could see the red stain her fingertips. The metallic taste that filled her mouth only further confirmed what it was, despite her silent plead for it not to be.
Serena quickly moved to get her bag, cupping the petals and liquid in her hand, as terrified sobs escaped her mouth. Her shaking hands reached for her water bottle and a handkerchief, which she thoroughly wet and used to wipe away the blood from her hands and mouth.
(At least she could prove there was no water in her bottle if she was asked.)
Chucking the handkerchief in the fire, along with the petals, Serena could only stare at the flames as they burst into life. Slowly, as the handkerchief and petals became nothing but ash, it died down.
When Ash eventually came back with water, unlike the other times, it took several days for her throat to feel better from the aftermath.
Serena never noticed, all throughout her newest fit, a small blue pokémon had been watching her intently, shocked at the scene he just witnessed, determined to keep an eye on his trainer's companion even more than before.
.
Two weeks later, she would find a flower with the same type of petal whilst she decided to take a walk under the moonlight in Mabel's fields, screeching to a halt and taking a few steps back when she recognised it. At her oversensitive reaction, Mabel herself would tell her about the flower, how it was dangerous to most who came into contact with it, though there were some pokémon who had developed an immune system which let them eat the flower with no consequence. She wondered out loud how Serena knew to steer clear, even if simply touching it wouldn't cause too much damage.
When Serena asked her what would happen if it was ingested by a person for a few minutes, only to be vomited right out, Mabel paused, and Serena could see the exact moment realisation dawned on the older women.
'Why did I ask her that?' She panicked.
Mabel gave her a pitying look, told Serena to follow her until they ended up in Mabel's vast and very extensive library, bigger than any of the bookstores she had visited. Awkwardly, Serena waited as the old lady disappeared between the shelves, humming to herself.
When she came back, she was holding a small but thick book.
"Keep this with you, my dear. It may give you some of the answers you've been looking for, though you may not find it believable at first."
Serena looked at the cover, wondering how different it would be to any of the other books she had read. There was nothing too interesting about it, although, the title was written in a language she sort of recognised, but couldn't translate. There was a gold outline of a thorny rose on the cover. She turned it over, but there was only another gold outline of a flower.
"A cherry blossom," Mabel said, turning to the entrance, ready to head to bed. "Be sure to give me the book once you don't need it anymore."
She nodded, slightly freaked out at the nonchalant way Mabel was acting like her mysterious illness didn't make her a freak.
Numbly, she opened the book to the first page, hoping it would be more than just another book with too many different meanings about plants she doesn't think she will ever actually see in her life, but gasped, almost dropping the book in shock.
She stared. And stared and stared, letting it seep in as she tried to collect her thoughts.
The image of the first page was all too telling. And it frightened her.
Serena put the book in her bag with a shuddering breath.
For weeks, she couldn't find herself to open the book.
The image of a weeping woman with flowers falling out of her mouth as blood dripped from her eyes, never left her head.
Ash was gone. Clemont was panicking. Bonnie was annoyed that his invention blew up. Serena was distraught.
She almost didn’t notice when it started this time around only because she was so focused on the fact they had lost Ash and had no way of knowing how to get him back.
Serena missed him. In the small amount of time he had been stuck in the other world, she realised how much she missed his presence in her life, terribly.
Arceus , she knew she had been falling for her friend already. He was someone that she couldn’t help but like. With his brave – albeit reckless – persona which did wonders to inspire many of the people he met, including herself, his kind and selfless demeanour and charming smile, how could she not like him?
Missing him only put into perspective how much she had grown to like him in the time they had been travelling together.
How was she going to cope once he left them for good?
When it happened, Bonnie and Clemont were in another section of the cave, still arguing about why his invention failed and whether or not they could figure out another plan of action. They weren’t paying attention to Serena, who had stayed standing in front of the large crystal mirror, staring listlessly at her dishevelled reflection, her eyes tearing up and her throat feeling constricted at the thought of losing Ash forever.
She coughed.
Her eyes stung as the tears started to flow.
Hand drawn to her mouth, Serena tried to clear the burning pain in her throat as her eyes closed, squeezing the tears out.
All that went through her mind was Ash. What if he can’t come back? What if she never sees him again? What if he could come back but would prefer to stay in that world?
What would she do without him?
(And wasn’t that a thought? It had been only two months since they had reconnected and already, she couldn’t bear to be in a world without him in it.)
Cough.
Her hand moved to rest on the mirror, tracing the part where she had seen the final glimpse of Ash before he was engulfed by it.
This whole situation was horrifically nauseating. From Ash disappearing into a weird magical mirror right before her eyes, to the way she felt so pathetically useless that she had lost him so easily – it felt like a nightmare to her!
Cough.
She should have ran faster. Caught up to him somehow and figured out what even caused him to jump through without thinking. Maybe she would have jumped through with him before the mirror closed, and went with him to the other dimension.
She wished… she wished she could see him again, standing on front of her and giving her that reassuring smile that made her heart soar.
Eyes closing as she coughed for what felt like the millionth time in the span of minutes, Serena brought her hands to her face and let herself cry as silently as she could, so as to not alert the other two.
And that was when it happened.
The next phase.
Tears stopped falling down her face as she paused. She didn't even blink, no matter how much her eyes stung.
She couldn't believe what she was seeing!
In her hand was an entire flower, pink and round, the petals perfectly layered in an almost hypnotising pattern. It was almost desensitising to see the way it was half soaked in blood, yet still sitting in her hand as if it had just bloomed.
This was the first time.
Her hand cupped the flower, which almost filled both palms, as she stared in horror at what she had just coughed up.
'What?'
Her chest hurt. It was hard to think. Her mind hit a blank.
This had never happened before.
“Serena!”
She jumped, quickly wiping the blood she felt dribble down her chin. She turned to Bonnie and Clemont, reflexively hiding the flower behind her back. Immediately, her focus were on the two who had come back to the area she was in.
Why hadn't she heard their footsteps through the loud echoes of the cave?
With one hand, she pretended she was wiping the remaining tears on her face and replied, “Yes?”
Clemont seemed to notice something was off with her, his eyes resting on her face for a little too long, but he shook his head and let it go, instead asking, “Has anything happened yet?”
“No. Still nothing.” There was a scratchiness to her voice, something which Clemont noted.
The cogs began to turn in his mind, thinking back to all the times it sounded like that before, but he knew they had to figure out how to get Ash back first.
Serena's fist clenched, still holding the flower, and she felt some of the petals crumble under the pressure she had applied.
She had made sure to hide everything from her friends so they wouldn't question it. The things she didn't tell them was only to keep them from worrying.
But the truth was, she was scared. Of being seen as different. Of being treated as weak and incapable.
There was a reason she hadn't opened that book yet.
She wanted to continue her journey with Ash, Clemont and Bonnie. Wanted to explore places she had never been to, make new friends, have a purpose as a trainer and finally make her place in the pokémon world (however that may be).
She was scared that knowing more about her condition would hinder that. Everything she was trying to work towards could be shattered, crushed into dust before she could even begin to figure her life out.
Fear was starting to turn into regret at not opening the book, or trying harder to look for someone to help her.
“Are we ever going to see Ash again?”
Throat still hurting, Serena decided not to respond, only looking at the mirror, chewing the inside of her mouth, apprehensive.
In her nightmares, the weeping woman's face would grotesquely morph until suddenly, she was seeing herself instead. Her hair was thin, her eyes looked dark and haunted. Pale skin and sunken flesh into bones, she was practically a living skeleton in her nightmare.
And it was like she could see through her body. The flowers which continued to grow in her lungs at a fast pace, filling them all the way up and out of her mouth. It was a bouquet which continued to grow within her before forcing its way out like a butterfly coming out of its cocoon.
It felt too real.
She could almost feel the pain. Almost feel the thick texture of blood which dripped out of her eyes and pattered loudly onto the floor. Or the uncomfortable feeling of flower petals tickling the insides of her lungs, whilst entire flowers felt suffocating, causing her to huff and puff and ache for them to stop. She could almost feel when her knees hit the hard ground as she crumpled to the floor, unable to support herself any longer.
And then she saw Ash, running towards her in slow motion, screaming her name as he held his hand out towards her. Everything went sideways and her head hit the ground hard. Ash was almost there, had almost reached her...
That was the last image Serena saw before she shot up on her bed, breathing heavily as she tried to calm down.
Peeking out at the window as the heaving of her chest slowed down to a regular rhythm, she sighed.
Another one. This time, worse than the last. Just how many more could she take before she completely broke down?
Since the incident in the Cave of Mirrors, Serena was actually feeling great. Ash coming back and assuring her that they would stick together on their journey, and that he "wouldn't want it any other way" had boosted Serena's morale immensely.
She had gone back to only occasionally coughing up petals. The blood had appeared less and less. She was mostly back to her normal self.
Only, she had to deal with the nightmares. They were almost as bad as dealing with the real thing because it just put that inclination in her, that one day, the nightmares could become a reality.
Knowing she wasn't going to be able to get back to sleep anytime soon, she quietly climbed down the ladder, wanting to take a walk.
She looked over to the others, hoping that she hadn't disturbed them, a small smile gracing her face at the way Ash and Pikachu were draped over each other, Clemont was lightly snoring whilst hugging Chespin close to hm, and Bonnie was muttering in her sleep with Dedenne buried snugly into her hair. The other pokémon, including Fennekin were huddled together on the bench, blissfully unaware that anyone was awake.
That is what she thought until her eyes met with wide yellow ones, curiously looking at her.
Giving Froakie a shrug, she tiptoed to where her belongings were, wanting to grab a flashlight just in case it became too dark. She winced at the noise of her bag unzipping, pausing for a few seconds to see if it had stirred anyone awake.
Silence.
Slowly, she used her hand to feel around the bag, searching for the small flashlight she had started to carry around. Fingers brushed over a hairbrush, clothes, her pokédex etc. They dug deep into the bag, as her eyebrows furrowed in concentration, trying to locate the object she needed. Half of her arm was already in the bag and she could only hope her rustling hadn't awakened anyone from their slumber. She dug deeper and deeper until they stopped, coming across something she wanted to forget at the bottom of her bag, but she couldn't.
If only to attempt to stop the nightmares, or to get the information she couldn't find about her condition from anywhere else, she couldn't ignore it for any longer.
Not when she was only beginning to truly figure out her dream, her purpose.
Summer Camp with Professor Sycamore had been an eyeopener. She met so many wonderful people who had so many different goals that they worked hard towards. Trevor and Tierno each wanted to be great trainers in their own, creative ways. Shauna was working her way towards performing. Ash had the goal to become the best pokémon trainer ever and he was very much improving with each step he took.
By the end of Summer Camp, Serena was beginning to think about what she wanted to be doing other than travelling and training her own pokémon.
Could she dream of anything long term when she wasn't even sure if her condition was going to kill her off in her sleep?
She decided to take the book.
Double checking that no one had woken up, Serena began to tiptoe towards the door, turning just before she exited the room. The water pokémon was still observing her, perhaps wondering what had possessed her to wake up and get out of the cabin. She placed a finger on her mouth, signalling to Froakie not to wake the others up in concern for her.
Instead of going back to sleep, however, Froakie decided to hop towards her until he was sitting on her shoulder.
Giving him a few pets, not at all perturbed by his desire to follow her, Serena walked out of the cabin, book in hand and flashlight in her pocket.
For a few minutes, she walked with no destination in mind. All she wanted was a place where she couldn't be disturbed and enough time to wrap her head around any possible revelations and theories which could be confirmed by Mabel's book.
She ended up becoming drawn to the mesmerising beach which had been their view for several days. In the daytime, it had been beautiful to see. Serena, however, found the night view much more enchanting. Settling on the sand, she took a moment to take in the way the moon reflected onto the sea, shimmering brightly as the waves calmly swayed back and forth. Froakie curled up besides her, eyes still open as he admired the view with her.
It took a while to figure out how to position her flashlight, but she eventually tucked it into her ear, using her headband to keep it in place.
Running her hand over the book, she took a deep breath and opened it back to the first page, facing the picture which had slowly been creeping into her dreams over the course of a few weeks. Seeing it again, it didn't give her the same shock as before. Instead, her mind felt more composed, finally ready to learn more about her condition.
Serena chewed the inside of her cheek, deciding not to spend a moment longer on the first page, and flipped pages until she found the beginning of the first chapter - the introduction.
To understand what I will be speaking about, you must believe that, even in madness, there is a spoonful of truth. Within the unknown, there is always an explanation, even if we, ourselves, do not quite understand it yet.
Nature itself is an enigma that we have yet to completely discover.
An example this world has lain witness to is the mystery of pokémon. We have seen their power used for good and bad, the strength they have compared to us mere humans. We cannot explain half what we see, yet we know there must be a reason they have evolved into what they are today: creatures with tremendous power who help bring out the balance of the world around us.
In the same way, we humans are still a mystery ourselves. Our thoughts and actions, our experiences, our dreams and motivations. What was thought to be impossible back then, we have achieved in our time today. What is considered impossible today, we will achieve in the future. No matter whether it is consciously or not, humans have the innate desire and sense to improve. To adapt. To evolve.
Sometimes, not necessarily in a good way.
Such as the reason you hold this book in your hand anxiously. Either you or someone dear to you has suddenly found themselves coughing out flower petals and maybe even entire flowers to fill a botanical garden.
Perhaps you hope this is a figment of your imagination. Our minds are just as much as a mystery as pokémon, enough for such a feat to be believable.
But I assure you - and quite possibly caution you - that this mystery you seek to unfold is not a figment of your imagination, nor something impossible to explain. Rather, it is a formulation of your heart.
To put it bluntly, the manner of purging out a plethora of flora seemingly at random, is not random at all.
It is a reaction of the emotions of the heart. Most importantly, love.
There is an old word for this condition, the earliest known record originating from the Kanto region - hanahaki. Simply meaning...
Serena was so fixated on the words of the author, that she didn't even notice the footsteps which trudged closer to her.
Panic, relief, anticipation... hope. She felt it all at once.
At least, she could now, finally put a name to her condition.
She did notice when a bright light shone on her face, practically blinding her for 2 seconds. Squinting, she brought a hand to cover her eyes from the light. She couldn't quite see the person, only the towering silhouette of their body. Her breath quickened and she blinked, trying to squeeze the light spots away.
"Serena? What are you doing up so late?" She sighed, recognising the voice. It was Professor Sycamore.
"I couldn't sleep. Sorry Professor. I'll get back to bed now." Closing the book and picking up Froakie to rest in her arms, she stood up.
He turned the light away from her and shook his head. "Any reason why you couldn't sleep? This is quite unusual for you."
"I- I just..." She bit her lip, the wheels turning in her head as she decided whether or not to tell him. "I had a nightmare."
Nodding in understanding, his eyes flicking to the cover of the book, he just said, "Okay. Follow me then."
.
Surprisingly, Professor Sycamore made great hot chocolate.
They were sat in his office, located in his cabin which was separate from everyone else - including the staff who helped run the summer camp. Froakie had curled up perched high on one of the bookshelves. He looked like he was asleep, but his eyes were still open, peering down at them, calmly paying attention to their every move.
Professor Sycamore had all sorts of things lying around in the office: from books and papers of things she wouldn't even begin to understand, to trophies, weird ornaments, action figures, a slightly morbid collection of several type of pokémon teeth, and pictures of previous summers and precious memories. On his desk, there was actually a framed picture of the professor when he was younger and not yet a professor, his arm around a taller guy with ginger hair who was wearing a suit. Serena only got a glimpse of it before the professor turned it to face the other way, but she had seen the bright grin on both men. She wondered who the taller man was.
Her attention turned to Professor Sycamore, who sat down in his chair and waited for her to take a few small sips of the sweet chocolatey drink. He was observing her, quite like Froakie had been doing before.
"Did you enjoy the last few days?"
Bringing the cup down from her lips, Serena nodded enthusiastically. "It was great professor! Thanks for inviting us to come."
"The pleasure was all mine Serena. You guys definitely made things lively," he said, thinking back to the time they fell down the cliff and Ash hurt his ankle, then when the chefs who were in charge of feeding everyone turned out to be Team Rocket, and then when Team Froakie and Team Squirtle threw the race to save Bonnie and Pikachu, only to see a mysterious deer-like pokémon that they had no idea what it could be.
(Augustine had an idea, but surely it couldn't actually be? Then again, from what he heard from the other professors about Ash, it could very well be what he thought.)
The next few minutes passed by with both sides giving commentary on the last few days from their own perspective, whilst Serena took a few more sips of the hot chocolate, taking in the satisfying sweetness of the marshmallows melted into the chocolate.
The book was in her lap, so, when the hot chocolate dripped out of the mug and almost fell onto the book, she quickly moved the book onto the desk, saving it before it got stained.
Before she even realised, Professor Sycamore picked up the book, looking at both sides of the cover, but not opening it yet. "You seemed quite engrossed in this book when I found you. What is it about?"
"Flowers." she was almost too quick with her response.
"I can see that," he said, pointedly glancing at the rose at the front. "It must be something more specific, however."
She nodded. "I really only started reading it. So far it's about flower meanings but I haven't gotten too far into the book yet." Technically, it wasn't a lie. The book had already begun to explain the type of flowers which could be coughed out and why they would, all referencing different stories from the past, including stories of people the author had found and observed themselves. Sometimes the meanings would differ, but there was a constant in that they revolved around feelings towards a particular person, the one they loved. It actually explained several questions she had when looking at other books which focused on flowers but never mentioned hanahaki.
One of his eyebrows rose up. "I'm surprised. Mabel, as lovely as she is, has a thing about lending books. She always only gives books if she truly believes someone needs them." Serena paused, shocked that he could pick out that Mabel had been the one to give her the book. How did he know? "Don't look too alarmed. Mabel mentioned about your group and the Shalour gym leader staying with her for a few weeks. Anything to do with mega evolution is usually mentioned to me and she just happened to tell me about giving you a book."
"She did say to give it back once I finished it. I just never got round to reading it."
"Until now, that is." He brought his face forward, his finger rhythmically tapping on his bottom lip. "Is there any reason why you only started reading it tonight?"
Serena put her mug on the desk, as she leant back with a frown on her face. "I guess I was just busy on my journey. I didn't give it a second thought."
"Except, Mabel wouldn't have given you that book specifically if you were just going to toss it aside and not think of it again." Placing the book on the desk between them, he had a thoughtful expression. "Tell me Serena. Do you know what the title of this book is?"
"I don't see how that is relevant, Professor. But it is in a language I don't recognise, so, no, I don't." She had an inkling, but she didn't know exactly if she was right.
Fingers drumming on the leather of the book, he hummed. "Do you want me to tell you?"
"You can read it?"
He nodded. "Of course I can! I have to know a few languages in order to research and translate. And I happen to know that old Kantonian hasn't changed much, enough to decipher the rough meaning of the title."
There was no sense of revelation on his face, no confusion or even a grimace of distaste. All she could see was the pity and the realisation came to her with a click of her finger. Just like Mabel. He knew, he knew, he knew.
Sighing, his tapping stopped, and his gaze turned to the picture for a few moments, and she noticed a flash of sadness pass through him. "How long has it been happening?"
Quietly, she answered, looking down to her lap. "It started a few weeks into our journey. But we were in a field so I thought nothing of it at first."
"And then it kept on happening," he guessed.
"It kept on happening and I had no idea why?" Her eyes felt wet, but she didn't do anything to stop the tears from falling onto her cupped palms. "Why is this happening to me? Why isn't it stopping? I tried to find something, anything about my condition. But I couldn't find a single piece of information."
"And then Mabel gave you what you needed." His index finger tapped the book twice. "But you only opened it today. Why?"
"I-"
Why?
Why hadn't she opened it that day?
Why had she been so scared?
"You know, a few days ago, Ash came into my office. He wanted my help with convincing you to go see a doctor."
"NO!" Her head shot up, eyes wide as she begun to shake her head. "They won't understand!"
"Serena, calm down." He raised his hand in the air in a placating manner. She closed her mouth, but he could see the panic in her eyes. "Look. I don't want you to suffer because of this. And I know Ash doesn't want you to either, even if he doesn't know what exactly you are going through."
"I didn't want to make him worried." She buried her face in her hands. "I didn't want any of them to be. I don't - I don't want them to know. I didn't even want to know myself. I thought it would be better to remain ignorant, pretend nothing was happening."
She was scared to know what would happen to her if she accepted she was ill. Leaving her journey and her friends when it only just started was the last thing she wanted to do. As soon as she read the book, however, she knew her illness would become a reality she couldn't escape from.
Sure it gave her some sort of hope, knowing that one day, if the flowers stopped, it meant that Ash returned his feelings to her, but she couldn't count on it. What reason would Ash have to like her in that way, let alone fall in love with her? He was someone so out of her reach that she knew she was privileged to be travelling with him. She was a no one, a novice trainer, someone who didn't even have a proper dream yet.
What worth did she have that would provide any sense to Ash liking her if it came to that?
Liking him - correction, loving him, if the book was anything to go by - was enough for her.
At this point, Froakie had jumped down from his little resting area, coming to sit on the table on front of her. He nudged her with his head, causing Serena to startle out of her thoughts and place a thankful hand on his head. She didn't know why, but Ash's frog pokémon seemed to sometimes hover over her. It was weird, but a comfort she realised she needed in that moment.
Giving Froakie an approving glance, Professor Sycamore decided to speak. "You were scared." It wasn't a question. "Fear makes us do things we normally wouldn't. I can understand why it took so long for you to open up that book. I can even understand why you wouldn't want to tell them."
Bringing Froakie into her arms and cuddling close to him, she asked, concerned, "Are you going to?"
Froakie, seeming to understand the situation (and perhaps, he actually did know what they were saying), gave a questioning, and almost threatening croak towards the man.
He gave a soft smile, amused at the pokémon's protectiveness. "No. It's not my place to say. That's up to you."
"Professor." She sniffled, causing Froakie to nuzzle her comfortingly. "What's going to happen to me now?"
He thought for a moment, wondering himself where they could go from there. "I'm going to help you Serena. We're going to figure this out."
Still dejected, she let out another sniffle, wiping away some of her tears. "Do you think I will be back to normal?"
His eyes went to the picture on his desk, looking at the person who happily stood by him when they were younger. If she was paying attention, she would have seen a the small look of regret that filled him, before he shook his head to brush away past memories.
"The least we can do is try." He reached out to the tissue box on his desk, handing a few to her, and taking the mug which had been sitting there. It was still half full. "How about I make you a new batch of hot chocolate? And if you still can't sleep after, perhaps you can stay here and continue reading. After that, we can go over your options."
Augustine watched as Serena settled on the sofa, book in hand, an uncomfortable feeling settling deep inside him.
Xerneas, she was only sixteen!
But Hanahaki didn't discriminate when it came to choosing it's victims, young or old, male or female. It just preyed on the pure emotions of people, feeding on the love they had, and eating away at them until they become nothing but a rotten corpse.
Nothing could have been done to prevent it from happening. Neither could they have predicted it.
Even with the book and Mabel's insight into the disease, courtesy of her family history and her own experiences with the illness, it would have been hard for Serena to survive just on the knowledge that book gave her.
Most of the people in those stories relied on the person they loved reciprocating their feelings. A lot of the time, it ended in tragedy.
Only more recently with the advancement of certain medicine, were specific suppressants made so that the pain could be countered.
Serena was lucky in a way, that Mabel had recognised the signs and informed him. Because he was one of the only people in Kalos who held the medicine in stock - having made the decision to do so since he had become an assistant professor.
There was another option, one, Augustine hated having to tell Serena about.
Surgery had actually been an option for longer than just relieving the pain. From the research Mabel shared with him, people tended to wait until the final stages of Hanahaki and found someone (ancestors of Mabel) to remove the majority of the flowers from where they had grown. Most of these surgeries were actually successful, if only for a few months or years at most, extending their life-span a little more. In his opinion though, they were always a risk.
Especially so, as the method evolved and became something else entirely.
It should have been a good thing, the innovation of this surgery. It extended the life in a way which meant the person could live a long life unless external, or other natural factors came into play.
He had seen first hand what it could do to a person.
He still told her, explaining in detail what surgery could do to her and what it meant regarding her feelings towards Ash. He found it risky, however - a gamble on something which meant a lot to an empathetic person like Serena. Like-
If only he had stopped him sooner.
She deserved to know what she would be getting into if she considered that route.
"Serena," he said, abruptly interrupting her reading. She looked back to him. "There's a story about a lady getting a successful surgery over ten years ago. She was a single mother who wanted the surgery so she could put all her focus into raising her young child after his father left the both of them behind. I suggest you read it if you want to know more about getting the surgery."
She nodded her head and flipped through the pages, stopping when she found the chapter. She continued reading.
Meanwhile, Augustine felt the need to pray in hopes of Serena never having to consider that option.
Ash, despite what most people thought, was an early riser. Being on his journey, having to be up early in order to get to his next destination before it became dark again, he had cultivated a specific routine which allowed him to get up early, get ready for his day, eat and train a bit before setting off on his journey again. It was only fate that most of his companions were early risers too.
When he was younger, he hated having to wake up so early. Nowadays, he prefers it. Waking up earlier meant he had more time in the day to train, adventure and spend time with his friends.
When he woke up, however, it wasn't because his body clock was telling him it was time to wake up, no - it was way too early, even for him.
Fennekin had been blowing ember into his face. The little fox looked distraught, whining into his face that something was wrong.
Bleary-eyed, he reached his hand out and patted her fur, whispering, "What is it, girl?"
She jumped off his bed once she got his attention, causing him to sit up and climb out. When he did, he noticed where Fennekin had ended up where Serena was sleeping. Or, rather, where she was meant to be asleep.
Under his breath, he cursed.
Clemont and Bonnie were somehow still asleep, despite Fennekin's sad noises and the flickering heat that travelled around the room, though mostly in the area of his bed. Only Pikachu woke up. having been right next to him when his sleep got disturbed.
Ash glanced towards the side of the room where the rest of the pokémon were soundly sleeping.
He did a double take, cursed again, before putting his cap on his head. He didn't bother to put his gloves on or slip into his jacket. He gathered Fennekin and Pikachu in his arms, as he rushed out of the room without a second glance.
Froakie was gone too.
He was keeping his fingers crossed that his pokémon had followed Serena and neither of them were in danger.