Chapter Text
The students are in the classroom playing with toys. Chef barges into the room, excited to tell them something
Chef Hatchet: KIDS, I’ve got a surprise for yo-
Cody: Is it my birthday?
Lightning: (looks at a calendar) that’s a few months awa-
Courtney: New rul-
Duncan: You got fired? (the students laugh)
Chef Hatchet:… I wish I was
(unfamiliar voices are heard)
Sugar: oh god… not him
Duncan: Let me guess, new students. About damn time since it’s literally the fou-
Courtney: Duncan, what did I say about swearing?
Leshawna: And who are these five?
Chef Hatchet: Surprise! New students! There is supposed to be a sixth, but she’d come tomorrow
Courtney: Isn’t this whole episode a repeat of a previous episode?
Chef Hatchet: Now that I think about it… some of our lines are reused from that episode. Anyways, meet Alejandro, Mike, Scott, Priya and Sierra. Why don’t y-
(Sierra runs to Chef)
Sierra: OMG HI CHEF! I’m Sierra, Total DramaRama’s biggest fan. I always dreamed of entering this daycare and-
(she looks at the camera) OMG I’M ON NATIONAL TV AAAAA THIS IS SO EXCITING
Cody:…isn’t she that girl that appears in my window a few times before?
Duncan: Pfft… we’ve all seen a girl with that hairstyle outside in the past month
Chef Hatchet: Wanna talk more about your-
Sierra: I can’t live without my phone, I run a blog about this amazing show and (sinister tone) I know every little secret about you.
(Gwen opens her eggchair)
Gwen: I kinda like her vibe.
(Gwen closes her eggchair)
Sierra: But that won’t be much of a concern, so as long as you be nice to MY CODY, I won’t reveal your home address to millions of people.
Chef Hatchet: That was quite intimidating… who’s next?
Sugar (to herself, whispering): Please not Scott, please not S-
Chef Hatchet: Scott, why don’t you introduce yourself
The lights go dark, wheel noises can be heard. The spotlight shines on Scott, now on that makeshift stage from S3E15.
Scott: Hey fellas, I’m Scott. And based on her reactions of me coming to this daycare, I’m Sugar’s cousin. So I know a thing or two about farmin’ and the best part — I’m the man with the plans. I can come up with a plan for any occasion, such as preventing a world apocalypse, wrangling were-hogs in case someone forgets to close the gate and robbing a commercial bank.
Harold: Pfft, yeah right, I bet they never work
Scott: (imitates that wrong answer noise), they work 75% of the time. (pulls out Harold’s lie detector) Why don’t you ask Sugar about it?
(Scott places the lie detector onto Sugar)
Harold:… fine. Sugar, how often does Scott’s so-called… "plans" work?
Sugar: Exactly! They never work, not even once in a blue moon as bright as the skin of a squeaky clean pig
(the lie detector bleeps)
Scott: heheheh, believe me now, Harold? Anyways, if you’re wondering why I’m using this… wall you find in a comedy cl-
Beth: Can you tell us a joke?
Scott: Can you please be patient? I’m getting to it soon. Anyways, I am a natural comedian, and I’ve got a classic joke for you guys! What does a farmer say when he loses his tractor?
Beth: What does he say?
Scott: Where’s my tractor? haha, get it. Because… he lost his tractor. It’s obvious
(half the kids laugh)
Courtney: I’m only laughing because the joke is so bad, it’s just… funny! Scott’s definitely going to keep us so entertained during nap time
Sierra: You know he can see what you say once the episode releases…
Courtney: Gah! Why didn’t I think about this? Now he’s going to be so mad…
Courtney: Where’s the tape? I want the tape. How do I OPEN THIS THING?
Chef Hatchet: That seems interesting? Who’s next?
Alejandro: Allow me to introduce myself, mi amigos. My name is Alejandro.
(some beautiful music plays)
Courtney: Oh my god-
Leshawna: He’s so beautiful
(record scratch) Owen: Hi Al! Welcome to the daycare
Alejandro: It’s A-LE-JAN-DRO. The J is pronounced like a H.
Owen: Sorry, kinda hard to pronounce your name, so Imma call you… Al for now
Alejandro: Eh, whatever. Could get used to this. Anyways, the three best traits about me, are being charming, smooth-talking myself out of anything and the thrill for an adventure. Yes, I’ve been to several places before I got into this… daycare. Speaking of it, I wonder how it magically repairs itself every time.
Noah: It’s probably due to the production budget for the show. The producers keep giving us money to repair the school every time it blows up, as part of it… it increased a bit more because we’ve shown to be quite… destructive at times.
Alejandro: Oh dear… Anyways, I met Priya in a Club Med a few months ago. We’ve hung around since then
Priya: Yup, that’s me! And I do have a knack of thrill-seeking like him. The only difference, he has a pretty… naughty side that he isn’t afraid to abuse to get what he wants sometimes
Alejandro: I told you not to talk about that. And look what you’ve done. They know.
Duncan: We aren’t surprised by that. Noah exists.
Noah: Since when did I manipulate others into doing whatever I want?
Sierra: Season 1 Episode 17. You tricked Bridgette into doing whatever you want. Does "Hiccup Island" remind you about it?
Noah: Yeah… but that’s a few years ago… wait how are we still four years old?
Beth: Anyone made a secret wish with some fairy 50 years ago?
Leshawna: Clearly not, because the only fairy that showed up was the Fart Fairy.
Priya: Anyways, we’ve been to many places together… China, London, Hawaii, Egypt, Morocco, Jamaica, Japan, we’ve essentially visited every part of the world under a short amount of time, that our passports are filled with stamps.
Sugar: And how did you achieve it?
Alejandro: Me and Priya’s parents are travel bloggers and reality TV pros.
Chef Hatchet: And next, we’ve got Mike! Give it up for him…
Mike: Hi, I’m Mike. And… that’s it… To sum it up, I can be pretty interesting… and
Duncan: Wanna learn how to fly?
Mike: Sure… let’s go outside
(Gwen opens her egg chair)
Gwen: oh dear…
Mike and Duncan are outside. Birds are flying outside. Vicious ones, to be exact.
Mike: What are we doing with bunny ears?
Duncan: Trust me, it’ll work
(an eagle swoops Mike up)
Mike: How could you-
(Mike drops down to the floor, he heaves a ridiculously large gasp)
?: Why don’t you stop spending all your lives putting people into danger, kid? We’ve got 8 hours in the daycare, and you can’t just spend them all either in timeout or pranking others.
Duncan: And who do you think you are pretending to be, Mike?
?: Mike? Name’s Chester. I’ve worked in this daycare for about 40 years and I’ve seen clowns like you run amok pranking children. One even got the death sentence for a prank gone wrong.
Courtney: Mike, can you help me tell Beth to stop putting her boogers all over the carpet?
(Chester takes a big gasp. Mike comes back)
Mike: uhh… alright I guess.
Duncan: Wait up, Mike! You have to ex- and there he goes.
Duncan: This four year old thinks he’s some middle-aged man working in this daycare? He’s delusional. Or is he trying to manipulate us into thinking it’s all an act? I don’t know
Mike: I can explain. My doctor diagnosed me with "dissociative identity disorder"… I have multiple personalities ok? I’m fine with them, just not their antics when I’m away… I can’t even control the
(Mike takes a big gasp)
Chester: Who puts cameras in the daycare? Did you know that that is a breach of privacy?
The camera cuts to inside the daycare, facing the wall next to the frog chair.
Chester: How do you open this thing?
Sierra: It’s getting recorded, you can’t delete it now… It’s a special camera that stores the tapes "digitally"
Chester: Gosh, technology these days…
Sierra: It’s called a "confessional". You use it in this daycare to confess your inner thoughts to the viewers. Plus, there’s cameras everywhere. They’re just well hidden. Anyways, Mike, can you help me solve this Sudoku puzzle? I’m struggling with the last square
(Chester takes a large gasp)
Mike: It’s easy. The answer is obvious.
Sierra: I know. I just want Mike back. And I figured out how to get you back.
Mike: …how do you know?
Sierra: Courtney did it.
Mike: oh.
The camera proceeds to the carpet
Scott: What are you doing?
Duncan: Escaping this place, duh. I always dig a tunnel out to escape. Plus, it’s a lot more boring than ever. No "hero" kid comes along to ruin your cool kid reputation, leading to some cool-off.
Scott: I could help you do it, or I can help you plot the most dangerous prank… without involving that Mike guy. He’s freaking me out.
Duncan: You saw it?
Scott: Yup. I have two eyes for a good reason
Duncan: Cody! You wanna join in? This will be good! (cackles menacingly)
Cody: You sure…
Duncan: Yup, I promised we’d-
(Sierra pushes Cody away)
Cody: I’m sliding on the floor! I’m a figure skater!
Sierra: Stay five feet away from MY CODY, Duncan. So you dun-CAN’T prank him.
Duncan: Did you watch the Special?
Sierra: I did… and I do not trust what you said at the end. Even tho you bonded with Cody a bit.
Cody: Where’s Lightning? I do wanna introduce you to my BFF.
Sierra: you… have a BFF? Eh, that’s fine. You’re my lover… because I have a huge crush on you. I even tattooed your face onto my right arm for you
Cody: That’s a stick-on tattoo though.
Sierra: It’s fine. I just want to show you how much I LOVE YOU
(Sierra hugs Cody hard)
Sierra: Also, Lightning’s in the playground… with Alejandro and Priya. Wonder what they’re doing… Courtney’s also with them.
Cody: I’m starting to think the writers are getting increasingly lazy.
Sierra: If I’m not wrong, they’re playing ball catch.
The camera cuts to the playground
Lightning: Think fast, Alejandro (throws ball to Alejandro)
Alejandro: Catch it, Courtney. (throws ball at Lightning)
Lightning: WHAT? You can’t just do-
Courtney: I got it!
Alejandro: Eh, I’ve seen other kids do that on several occasions
Courtney: Priya, get the ba- NOT MY HAIR! AAAAAAAA
Priya: uhh… what’s wrong with Courtney? Uh-oh-
(it starts to rain heavily)
Beth plays with ants but the rain makes them panic (while killing some of them as a side effect)
Beth: EVERYONE PANIC AND RUN FOR A SHELTERED AREA!
(The kids panic)
Alejandro: Let’s try this treehouse. It should be safe
Lightning: Yeah, that should keep us safe in the storm
Courtney: RUN INDOORS INSTEAD
Alejandro: You know what, that seems like a better idea
Lightning: Oh well, best follow Courtney. She knows what’s best.
(they take the slide and run to the daycare)
Lightning: That was quick.
Alejandro: Now what are we going to do?
Priya: I don’t know, maybe ventriloquy?
Beth: Oh no, this is NOT happening again!
Priya: It won’t hurt that bad… at least Chef isn’t doing it
Beth: There was a puppet… but it got destroyed in the woodchipper
Leshawna: Yup, hardly anything to d-
Scott: What do you call a store with absolutely NOTHING in it?
Alejandro: Uhh, this isn’t th-
Scott: A BORE! (laughs hard)
Alejandro: That was honestly, quite insulting- (laughs a bit). Did you see that? No vi eso?… [says the F word in Spanish, censored]
Alejandro: Why are cameras so- HARD TO OPEN? Just give me the tape, ok?… OPEN UP, por favor-
Scott: Anyways, it’s raining… there’s gotta be something to do indoors… I know, why don’t we use… these special chips I found in the basement?
Beth: How did you get these- I mean, what are they?
Sierra: I’ll explain, they have top secret information, including launch codes. There is a secret basement where you can access them, you just need to-
Mike: Dig down? Uh, sure. Got any hats, anyone?
Cody: I got this cool adventure hat from Chef’s car!
Lightning: How did y-
Chef Hatchet: MY CAR!
Sugar: Yup, that car’s a goner
Scott: Sugar, where have you been for like, half the episode?
Lightning: oh. How does a fedor-
?: G’day mates, name’s Manitoba Smit-
Scott: Secret spy basement. That has access to secret information.
Courtney: Wow. Rude. Can you at least STOP I-
Duncan: And there goes the delusional actor guy
Harold: He has multiple personalities, to be exact
Duncan:… HOW DOES SOMEONE HAVE MORE THAN ONE PERSONALITY
Alejandro: Follow us, mi amigos. There are secrets to unfold this way
Courtney: Like what secrets?
Alejandro: I don’t know, nuclear launch codes and conspiracy theories?
Courtney: These aren’t even supposed to be revealed to us four year olds
Beth: Oh crud.
Beth: Just a little reminder for those that didn’t watch that episode, I’m a secret agent for the government. Wait, why did I tell you this?
(Beth attacks the camera)
Beth: OPEN UP CAMERA AND GIVE ME THE TAPE!
Sierra: How many times do I have to say this, we no longer put videos on tape. It’s 2024, not 2008.
Beth: (screams in despair and anger)
(The kids enter the secret base through the tunnel)
Alejandro: There we go. Mike, can you help us put those chips into whatever those holes are
(Manitoba Smith takes a gasp)
Mike: Sure! Oh boy, they would all love to hear this… except Chester. He’s not the type for top-secret information
Beth: NO DON’T DO I-
Sugar: Cows are horses in disguise? Then how do we even get this milk?
Scott: Yup, that’s definitely fake.
Duncan: The launch code for the nukes is 4-1-5-8? Ohhohohohoh, this is good! (presses the launch code)
Sierra: NO DUNCAN DON’T
(Duncan launches a nuke)
Lightning: YOU [censored]
Courtney: How many times, do we have to hear that irritating bleep noise?
Priya: I don’t know, like a hundred times this season?
Alejandro: It’s called growing up and using advanced vocabulary. Get used to it
Courtney: Vulgarities don’t amount to being sophisticated… What, you got… (reads a dictionary) flabbergasted and (flips it harder) getting the… (flips it ridiculously hard) collywobbles?
Cody: My brain is about to explode. AAAAAH!
Sierra: What did you do to MY CODY?
Courtney: What, I didn’t know complicated words would make his brain go haywire. I’m sorry
Sierra: It’s ok, but I’ll take that and read some words. (flips it upside down) su-pine. noun. definintion 1, lying flat on one’s back with one’s face upwards; lie supine. definition 2, degratory, ohohohoh this is good, (goes back to reading) not acting as one should because one is lazy. dang it. (flips backwards) ex-eunt… they leave the stage.
Lightning (meanwhile): How does she read upside down?
Cody (meanwhile): The better question to ask is how are we going to stop this nuke without these two?
Scott (meanwhile): I’ve came up with a plan to stop us from going kaboom. But it’ll need the two to cooperate.
Sugar (meanwhile): Finally. A plan that is as practical as using a tractor to spray a field of-
Courtney (meanwhile): Why is she reading it upside down? This is a crime! AAAAAAAAA
Sierra: That’ll teach you NOT to hurt Cody next time. I didn’t expect you to be this mean to Cody
Courtney: Fine- I didn’t mean to hurt Cody’s feelings like this
Sierra: Well you did and I don’t like th-
Scott: WILL YOU TWO STOP ARGUING FOR ONCE. WE’RE ALL ABOUT TO DIE UNLESS YOU GUYS LISTEN TO ME
Mike: why do you have to shout like that
Scott: Those two girls are arguing
Alejandro: Just tell us what to do, we’ve got no other choice
Scott: So, Courtney and Sierra go out of the daycare in the rain, with raincoats on, obviously, and place as many of these Sundae Fondue Coupon dupes as possible
Beth: Hey, where did you get these? (pulls the cow)
Cow: Double Oh-Beth, your cover is blown… but I don’t blame you. Scott is one crafty kid. But-
(Beth pulls the cow again)
Cow: Chef doesn’t know a single thing.
Scott: There are supposed to be trackers that would divert the nuke, and then Priya, you place the tracker at the top of this awkward looking volcano in this deserted island, run to the bottom and dive into the water. Alejandro and Noah, hack into the system and divert traffic away as much as you can to make the runway clear for Courtney and Sierra to drive through. Cody, just look out for the nuke.
Sierra: You. assign. MY CODY out of everyone to look out for the nuke? Are you crazy?
Scott: Relax, he’s going to be fine with you guys.
Sierra: Phew, I was so close into giving you a knuckle sandwich
Scott: Thank god… Lightning, if everything fails, you launch a mini nuke to counter it. It will get a bit of fallout, but trust me, the code Duncan uses only brings out the tiny, pathetic ones. You get this cool rocket launcher as well, and a go-kart to chase the nuke in case it’s about to blow up a building in the downtown area.
Lightning: Time for Lightning to be a hero again! Wait… where’s the nuke? There is nothing in the sky except dark clouds.
Scott: (slaps his face) There is a map and a timer on when the nuke would arrive. I’m not sure how the army does not know that this guy sent a nuke flying right for us!
Alejandro: Ooh, look at this cool jetpack… Wonder what I can use it for
Beth: DON’T IT’S
Alejandro: Dangerous… who cares, that’s my midd-
Beth: Give it back
Alejandro: Want some chocolate milk in exchange for that?
Beth: No. I-
Alejandro: Ten cartons of chocolate milk, topped with a golden star?
Beth: Deal.
Courtney: Beth, can I get the golden star
Beth: No.
Owen: Can I have a car-
Beth: No.
Scott: We’ll keep you guys updated on the nuke situation with these bad boys
Harold: How did you get these walkie talkies?
Scott: I have my ways.
Duncan: How does he get away with it-
Scott: Less talking, more doing something, it’s life and death. But first, we need some code names… because that’s what everybody does in these movies or shows… Cameraman, can you cut the footage out… we want to keep the codenames a… guessing game for the viewers. heheheheheh
Courtney: I hate to say this… but we have to follow Scott. He’s new to this school, I know, but he’s our only hope in saving our own butts
Sierra: I can place the trackers, I’m literally the expert in hide and seek… not as good as Cody. He’s an expert at it
Courtney: Let’s go, Sierra. Cody and Priya, tag along
Cody: Yay!
Camera cuts to the city. Courtney drives a car, with Sierra holding the fake coupons and Cody on the lookout.
Courtney (to walkie-talkie): Gold Sticker to Four Eyes. If they know when the nuke would arrive, then why is Cody the lookout?
Harold (from walkie-talkie): Over, I actually do not know… ask Scott
Scott (from walkie-talkie): Schemer to Gold Sticker, you won’t know when the nuke arrives until you see it. Plus, it’s ten minutes away, you already have a head start.
(Sierra places the coupons pretty fast)
Camera cuts to a military base
Soldier 1 (off-camera): Why is there a nuke… headed for a daycare?
Soldier 2 (off-camera): Yup, they’re doomed
Camera cuts back to the office
Alejandro: This is fun, messing around with the traffic lights.
Noah: Feels good to annoy some random adults while saving our own butts from that… nuke Duncan sent at us
Duncan (from vent): Hey guys, wanna cause a car crash? Just make the traffic lights in a junction all green!
Noah: How did you get there
Duncan (from vent): I have my ways
Alejandro: That definitely is a bad idea.
Noah: But it wouldn’t hurt what would happen… You know what, that would be a complete disaster
Alejandro: Agree- Duncan, no.
Owen (from walkie-talkie): Hey Al, what is Duncan doing there?
Alejandro (to walkie-talkie): I don’t know… wait how do you know
Owen (from walkie-talkie): Turns out, there’s this cool camera system where you can see everything in this daycare
Noah (to walkie-talkie): that has always existed. Anyways, any updates
Owen (from walkie-talkie): I don’t know, it’s getting closer… 5 minutes on the clock
Alejandro (to walkie-talkie): Oh jeez, Spaniard to Gold Sticker, we’ve got five minutes on the clock before we all say goodbye. Some green lights coming your way.
Courtney (from walkie-talkie): We’re getting close to the island. But… we need a boat
The camera cuts to Courtney and Sierra.
Sierra: Why not we go down to the sewers, there has to be some boats
Courtney: uhh sure.
Sierra: There should be a friendly guy inside
(Courtney, Sierra and Cody go down into the sewers)
Sierra: we need to rent a speedboat, stat
Sewer Mike: Uhh, sure. Just be sure to return them by the end of the d- And there they go. Dad, my business is still booming!
Sewer Mike: I like that girl, she visits a few times. The downside is that she talks too much about Cody.
Alejandro: It seems that Courtney, Cody, Priya and Sierra are in the waters…
Noah: The plan is working!
Leshawna (from walkie-talkie): Drama Queen to Red Vest. We’ve got THREE MINUTES LEFT!
Noah: Uh-oh
Duncan (to walkie-talkie): Delinquent to Gold Sticker. We’ve got three minutes, better pick up the pace
Lightning (from walkie-talkie): Lightning to Red Vest. I see the nuke, do I go yet?
Noah (to walkie-talkie): Uhh, sure
Lightning (from walkie-talkie): sha-BAM, baby! Lightning’s on the move!
Duncan: (stares at the viewer) that’s new.
Mike (from walkie-talkie): MPD to Red Vest, what’s "new" with Lightning?
Alejandro: This is getting a bit concerning… I have to go now, so long, mi amigos. I’ve got someone to save
(Alejandro uses the jetpack to fly out of the building, and into Chef’s car’s remains)
Chef Hatchet: NOT MY CAR AGAIN!
(he flies off)
Chef Hatchet: Why is it always my car… and what’s that thing?
Cuts to the island
Courtney: We’ve arrived! Priya, get this coupon and race to the top as fast as you can
Scott (from walkie-talkie): Schemer to Gold Sticker, the "coupons" work… Lightning’s on the way to intercept it in case it didn’t work.
Sierra: Is this a new episode… or are we straying away from the original focus on the episode…?
Mike (from walkie-talkie): MPD to Cody Superfan, yup, we’ve strayed away. But hey, at least most of our strong suits are revealed, two of my alters, Sierra’s obsession with Cody, Alejandro and Priya’s thrill for an adventure and Scott’s… scheming.
Sierra (to walkie-talkie): Yup, and now we got to use it to our best advantage.
Cody: Priya’s at the top… and that funny rocket thing is about to arrive.
Courtney (to walkie-talkie): GOLD STICKER TO SCHEMER! PRIYA’S PROBABLY NOT GOING TO MAKE IT
Cody: There’s another funny rocket thing
Courtney: Could it be?
Leshawna (from walkie-talkie): It could be Alejandro, he took a jetpack from the basement…
Priya (from afar): I DON’T-
(the camera cuts to Priya)
Priya: -THINK I CAN-
Alejandro: I got ya- (swoops in and saves Priya in time)
Priya: Thank you so much, Alejandro, I could’ve been cooked.
Alejandro (to walkie-talkie): Spaniard to Drama Queen, Priya’s safe.
Cuts to basement
Leshawna: YES! There we go!
Alejandro (from walkie-talkie): Bad news, the nuke is after… the girls? The coupon didn’t work?
Cuts to the island
Courtney (in car, from afar): RUN FOR YOUR LIVES
Alejandro (from walkie-talkie): Run seems like a poor choice of words… but WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT
Leshawna (from walkie-talkie): Lightning’s got it
Lightning (from walkie-talkie): Lightning’s got it locked in…
(Camera cuts to Lightning. He aims for the nuke with his rocket launcher… aims and successfully destroys it)
Lightning (to walkie-talkie): Lightning to Drama Queen. Threat neutralised
(everyone celebrates for joy)
Camera pans back to the classroom. The kids are tired, it’s 3pm, pickup time.
Chef Hatchet: Kids! It’s pickup time! Time to go h-
Duncan: We had a wild ride today. And I got this cool landmine dispenser. (presses it)
Beth: DUNCAN NO-
(the daycare explodes)
Chef Hatchet: NOT THE DAYCARE
Sierra: Yup, time to see the magic behind this daycare’s explosion problems.