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Tanalorr’s night sky was something to behold. Cal could clearly see the abyss, the planet lacking the bright lights of civilization that often obscured the stars. It didn’t look so deadly from where he sat on a cliff’s edge with Merrin, the gentle swirls of blue, purple, and pink almost inviting.
He felt at peace. Or, he should feel at peace. They had completed the mission. Gotten to Tanalorr. Cere and Eno Cordova were given the proper funeral rites. Kata seemed to have forgiven him - or at least understood why Bode was gone. Greez was safe. Merrin… Merrin was here. With him.
But his anxieties nagged at him, ruining this moment where he should feel calm.
It was silly, really. Then again, how many times had he heard of it happening? Too many to count. From his friends, coworkers, the Holonet. Cal shook his head. No spiraling. Not tonight.
He felt a shift beside him, and then a hand gently took his. “Cal. Is something wrong?”
His love, his terrifying, beautiful, thoughtful, brave, intelligent Nightsister leaned into his side, and he felt a little better.
“I just…” He sighed, studying the tattoos on Merrin’s hands. “It’s nothing, don’t worry.”
He could almost hear the smirk in her voice. “Cal Kestis, in all of the years I have known you, it is never ‘nothing.’” She nudged him. “Now, what is bothering you?”
“Can Nightsisters read minds, or just you?”
“You are stalling.”
“Yeah,” he breathed out. “Yeah, I am.”
They sat still together for another moment. Cal knew Merrin wouldn’t push him much further if he decided to stay quiet, but… he wanted to tell her everything. All the time. He felt like he could tell her everything.
“I just worry that… after this is all over, y’know, with setting up Tanalorr, that… when the excitement and danger run out…” He paused, trying to control the quivering in his voice. “I don’t want us to fall apart when it all slows down.”
Merrin nodded slowly, contemplating his words. After a nerve-wracking moment, she finally spoke. “We could fall apart, as you said. Perhaps it was only the… excitement that brought us together.”
Cal’s breath was too shaky and his heart was beating too fast.
“But,” Merrin continued, “why should that stop us? I am willing to try if you are, my Jedi. The future is not for us to know, and not for us to worry about.”
“I’d say it’s worth worrying about sometimes,” he half-heartedly joked.
She elbowed Cal, eliciting a laugh from him. “You know what I am trying to say.”
“I do.”
She twisted her torso, and with a feather-light touch turned his face so she could look him in the eyes. “Do not give up just because you fear what could happen.”
Force, he loved Merrin. More than he could ever express, much as he tried, and would keep trying.
Her words were just what he needed to hear, and he would be eternally grateful.
“Thanks, Merrin.” He hoped she heard everything he struggled to say out loud.
Her expression softened, and he saw that she did.
“Of course, Cal.”