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I've never seen a bluer sky. No cloud in sight, the sun shining bright in the distance.
And I've never felt more different from the weather. My shoulders are set low, my heart seems empty. This is not the first time either. I'm starting to realize that this emptiness, this lack of feeling, has been here for a while. Just lurking. Waiting for the perfect moment to attack and rid my life of any meaning it might have had. That perfect moment happened to be a few weeks ago.
«Draco, we need to talk...»
Those words couldn't have been good. Obviously, something was off. How I missed that obvious statement though, is still a mystery to me.
We had, indeed, talked. We talked a lot, and he even cried. I didn't. I just felt like a sharp point was pushing in my heart. Piercing a hole. Letting all the feelings evade. To leave plain nothingness. That was how I felt.
He said he was sad too. He said he wasn't sure he was doing the right choice, that I needed to help him. Help him destroy me ? Help him make of my life a stream of unhappiness ? I believe I did help him.
To this day, we haven't met again. I'm fairly sure he's avoiding me, and that might be for the best. I don't trust myself to keep a neutral expression around him. He always brought the best of me. He probably took it with him when he left. I don't think I have anymore "best" inside of me.
«Draco, please listen to me...»
I just couldn't. I didn't like what he was saying. I couldn't bear with it. With him leaving me. I just couldn't.
«I loved you, you know...»
And I adored him. He was my sun, my entire life revolved around him. Better than that, he was my oxygen. He was the strength that made my heart beat. Now I can't breathe, my heart is still. Lifeless. That's how I feel. Lifeless.
«Please don't do anything stupid.»
Stupid? Like what? Loving you in the first place was a stupid idea. Giving you my life was a stupid idea. Now you've gone and you've took it with you. You've took my life. Obviously I can't continue to live without a life. That's against every physical law and common sense of the world. We can't fight against physics can we? I can't continue to live, can I?
«Please don't do anything stupid.»
I guess this might be stupid. I could have cried for you, I could have begged for you to stay, to spare my life. But I was too shocked to do anything. How could you expect a reaction from a lifeless man?
«Please...»
I've never seen a bluer sky. No cloud in sight, the sun blinding me as I walk. As I walk closer to the edge.
The wind has stopped, and this time, I feel quite similar to the weather. Still. Calm. I suppose there really is calm before the storm. I hope a storm will come. Come for him. Take his life like he took mine. I love him still, and I want him with me. In my lifeless place. In my lifeless arms.
«Draco...»
Harry. The Boy-Who-Lived. The boy who pulled the life out of me. I hope he'll come quick.
Those are my last thoughts as I fall. My empty heart fills with a last feeling: regret. I should have fought longer.