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“Peter?” Pepper calls from the doorway. She’s leaning on the side of it, a tissue crumpled up in her hand as she smiles sadly at Peter, whose sitting on a stool in the kitchen. She speaks up again once Peter turns her way and smiles back, “Tony left you something.”
She fumbles for a second before she clears her throat, swiping the tissue over her nose, “Um, it’s a message. The others are outside right now, so you can listen to it in privacy.”
Peter just nods, getting up from the stool a little clumsily. “Thank you, Mrs. Stark,” he croaks out, moving to follow her.
She laughs softly at his formality, “Pepper is fine, honey, five years don’t change that.” She runs her fingers through his hair gently as he steps close to her, “Come on, ill start the message and then leave you to it. I’ll be outside with the others if you need me.”
It’s just the room over, but Pepper leaves her hand on Peter’s back as they both walk into the living room. She guides him down on the couch as she clicks a button on the side of the Iron Man mask, sitting on the coffee table.
The eyes of it spark to life and in front of both of them stands a hologram of Tony. Pepper smiles again, sadly, at Peter, and at Tony, really, before she shuffles out of the room quickly. The sound of the glass back door sliding shut follows behind her.
Tony’s sitting on a chair, resting his chin on the back of his hands, he’s staring straight forward – Peter shuffles so it's him he’s staring at. The hologram is terribly blue, sucking up most of the color Tony has on him. Peter doesn’t really care, he’s too focused on that fact that he’s seeing him again, not – not half-charred. He can’t hear his heartbeat, though, or his breathing pattern, it unnerves him. It reminds Peter that this is just a message. It’s him, but it's an old version of him. One he’ll never see again.
He swallows down tears as the hologram of Tony starts talking.
“Hey Pete, kid, if you do see this – which, you know, I hope you do. Making time travel over here for you, kid, it better work out.” Tony says, doing that quirk of a smile he sometimes does when he both wants to smile and doesn’t. His words though makes Peter pause and inhale sharply. He’s the reason time travel exists? He lets out a heavy breath and wipes at his eye sloppily, trying to process that information as Tony continues speaking.
“Anyway. It will work out, I’m not a genius for nothing, you know? – Of course you know, I’m still not sure if you didn’t have a shirt with just my face plastered on it.” He makes a face after he says that, it makes a wet sounding laugh bubble out of Peter.
“I - I should make this quick. Peter you… you’re the best out of all of us, okay? You believe it or not, kid, I’m telling you right now. When I first met you, you were – you are just like me – when I was younger and hadn’t been destroyed by my dear ol’ dads parenting yet. But you were better. You are better. I had hoped…” he trails off for a moment, looking off to the side. If Peter squints, he can almost claim that Tony looks misty eyed. Tony swallows harshly, coughing into his fist, then turning back to look forward again.
“I had hoped that if I took you under my wing, if I made you a suit with everything and anything I could think of, then maybe, you would end up better than I did. That maybe you’d be safer. I – ah, well, I mean we both see how that turned out. You’ve been gone longer than I knew you, Pete, and that – it hurts. And I’ve gone to Pepper, and I’ve asked her – which is a great idea, by the way, go to her if you ever need anything. I mean it. – I asked her if she knew why I was like this, or had any idea.”
He pauses again. Peter tracks the movement as Tony reaches up and wipes at his eyes, letting out almost a defeated laugh. Peter drops his head down and almost copies the exact moment, letting out a stuffed giggle that borderlines on completely ruined sounding as he digs his palms into his eyes. He doesn’t watch as the hologram flickers out for a second.
A deep breath, “She said – well, she told me that she thinks I’m not only mourning you as a whole, it’s – she reminded me that you were my kid, even if not by blood.” And that has Peter looking back up again, blinking tears from his eyes, staring back at Tony. Almost disbelievingly. “She kinda had to sit me down and explain to me that I had already been a father for a while. You – Kid, I mean it, you gotta listen to Pep whenever she says anything, yeah? Hell, I say that like you don't already. Picking favorites over there.” He smiles, just a little.
“I said I’d make this short, but I didn’t really. Sorry, kid. You know, I'm not… the best person with emotions. Unfortunately, I was sold short in that department.” Tony stirs a bit, standing from his chair, “I didn’t get to tell you how much you mattered to me when I was alive – when you were alive, even, and that will forever be my one of my biggest regrets. So I’m telling you now, in my terribly long-winded way of doing so.”
Peter stands up too, shakily, but he does it. He drifts closer to Tony, tears dropping off his chin down onto the carpet. Tony is looking a little off from where Peter is standing, but he can’t even bring himself to care. Tony starts up again, “I love you, Peter. And I’m proud of you, yeah? Be nice to your little sister. Make sure to spoil her.”
The hologram flickers out. The eyes of the Iron Man turn off. Peter stays standing for a moment, staring where the ghost of Tony was before his knees buckle, and he drops to the floor, sputtering out sobs and grabbing fist-fulls of his hair. He coughs and chokes out breaths as he sobs out, “I love you too.”
Pepper must’ve seen his state through the glass door because he hears it slide open, and her footsteps rush towards him. She joins him on the floor instantly and tugs him into her arms, removing his hands from his hair, and letting him cry there instead, “Oh, honey,” she says, sounding as wrecked as he is, “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” she repeats.
“I miss him,” he says.
“I know. I do too, we all do.” she says back, sweeping her hand over his curls, trying to soothe him.
“I hate him,” Peter cries, then, “I love him. Why did he do it?”
“For you, honey. For the world. For all of us.”
“I didn’t want him to.” Peter says, even to himself, he knows it’s sickeningly selfish, but he’s lost too many parents to care anymore. He’s lost too much in general.
Pepper shushes him, her own tears streaming down her face, “I know, hon. I know. It’ll be okay.”
“Okay,” Peter croaks.
“Okay,” Pepper repeats, rocking the both of them.
It would be okay. It had to be.