Chapter Text
I crawl out of that shell and once again shudder at the repulsiveness of my form. The ease at which I move on all fours, this horrid beak of a mouth that surprises me each time it opens, the length of my tail that finds a way to bang against every piece of furniture in this dammed room…and what a room it is. Floor to ceiling, all white, just a window, a door, and a bed I don’t even use. My jailor’s poor interior design skills aside, the chatter from the window is the real torture. Constantly having loud tea parties, chatting about asinine topics, with the occasional tidbit about Earth’s current events. Most of it was complete rubbish, surely the Kai’s poor attempts at comedy. All of Earth thinks that showboating oaf I smacked into a mountain on live television killed ME? I know humans are stupid creatures, but even I have a hard time believing that. If they wanted to torture me properly, they should talk about Gohan being paraded around as the world’s savior…but I rarely hear them speak of Gohan at all.
That’s enough of that for now. Back to my daily routine of trying to reach for the door handle without seeing my reflection in the multiple full-length mirrors they’ve installed around the place. It’s just that, whenever I lock eyes with my reflection, I’m so disgusted I often pass out. To have known perfection and be brought this low…it would have been easier to have not known at all.
…At this point, I’ve been in Hell longer than I’ve been alive. And what have I done with that time? Just cower in shame of what I’ve become, sleeping for years on end, in the hopes of dreaming of what I once was. Of a new arena, with new fighters, with even higher stakes…!! That’s right, there was this one reoccurring dream I had, of a floating stage meant to decide the fate of the universe. Well, of multiple universes. It was a dream, so of course the plot was a bit out there.
What really interested me was the ring they were in. I hesitate to call it a ring since it was so grand…a gigantic top shaped arena! I wondered if each individual piece could move…like if, say, around the halfway point of the tournament, the whole arena really did start to spin like a top, all the fighters would have to stop whatever they were doing and hold on for dear life! Ohh, what a fun stage hazard that would be! Well, I don’t think this arena was designed with ‘fun’ or ‘entertainment’ in mind. They were deciding the fate of their universes, after all. All it had to be was durable, and large enough to accommodate all those fighters. …It was still blown to pieces by the end of it, though. What a shame. Well, if I had those same materials, I could make quite an interesting arena. …As if. Even if those dreams were real, that metal is from a completely different universe.
As I was idly carving designs into the wall with my tail, I could hear the door slam open behind me, followed by the equally loud shattering of glass.
“Supreme Kai, that’s your third one this week.”
“Augh, I told the ogres to stop leaving these so close to the door! …They didn’t even mount this one, it’s just leaned against the wall!”
“Wow. It’s almost like they don’t want you in here.”
I could picture him with his head in his hands, fighting an oncoming headache as glass scraped the floor behind me. I didn’t look up from my drawing until he tapped me on the shoulder twice.
“Cell. You won’t repent, but you spend your days doing this. Is eternal torture more preferable than reincarnation?”
“I don’t want to be anything but me.”
“And yet, you don’t seem to like yourself very much.”
I turned around. The Supreme Kai’s poker face was marred by excessive blinking. His usually pristine clothes were ruffled, even a bit dirty. Does that wrinkly Kai have him working in the fields or something…?
“I have a proposal for you.”
“At least take me out to dinner first.”
“Your idea of dinner would mean killing hundreds! …And try to take this seriously!!” He stressed that last sentence, clenching his fists in frustration.
He looked down for a moment, displeased, maybe surprised at that sudden outburst. Even when that attendant of his isn’t around, he still feels the need to act godly. I’ve already seen him practicing the Kamehameha from my window. The illusion was shattered a long time ago.
“Cell? Are you even listening?!”
“Hmm? Oh, no, not at all. Continue.”
He let out a sigh that was far too loud for a man his size, and sluggishly pointed at my window.
“Have you looked…outside lately? I think you’ll find…something interesting.” He said with a weak smile, out of breath for some reason.
I walked over to the window and took a peek outside. Same old wasteland. Stone-like trees dot the landscape, with the occasional blood river here and there. I live near the Bloody Pond, which, you guessed it, is comprised entirely of blood. Since there’s a huge fountain in the center, I’ve taken to just calling it ‘blood fountain’. Something the Supreme Kai keeps correcting me on. A fruitless effort. I can sort of see Pin Mountain in the distance, but…hard to see with all this fog. …It’s a mountain made of needles. Keeping in line with the stupid naming conventions, there’s the Freezing Tundra of Hell. Self-explanatory. Only major location left is…Yenma Forest. If I remember right, I think the big guy upstairs likes those trees. A nature preserve in Hell. Or something.
“…You still don’t see it?”
“What, am I supposed to read your mind? Point it out.”
The Supreme Kai walked up to the window with a sigh, dragging his feet. He had to levitate a few feet off the ground to see through since it was installed with me in mind. He raised a hand in front of my face as he squinted at something in the distance. …If he thinks I’m going to make a height joke, he’s wrong. That would be…below me.
“Cell, what are you smiling about? It’s over there, right by Yenma Forest. The site of Hell’s new arena!”
“…Arena?”
True, I could see the framework for some kind of dome near the forest. The first time I saw it I assumed it was just an abandoned building or torture device like everything else here. But something is being built. On purpose. …Why?
“Piqued your interest, have I?!” No. You haven’t. I’m just confused.
“That right there is going to be the…well, we haven’t thought of a name yet. Still in the planning stages. But! It’s going to be an event to get the whole universe’s eyes on Hell!”
“You say that like it’s a good thing.”
“It is a good thing! Think about it! All of these lost souls, just suffering and waiting to be purified. Instead of waiting decades to be reincarnated, enduring grueling torture, they can participate in the party of the millennium! Everyone will be sent off into their new lives with a smile!”
“Wow. That’s beautiful.”
“I know, right?! Kibito was against it, saying it isn’t worth the trouble, but…” His smile slowly dropped.
“You’re being sarcastic.”
“One point. Five more and you get a prize.”
“You…you really don’t care? I thought you were a fighter! You should be jumping at the chance to fight again!”
“Shin, did you already forget the reason I made the Cell Games?” Damn. I’ve been holding back this whole time, but I called him by that nickname again. Not my fault Supreme Kai doesn’t roll off the tongue as well. If he doesn’t comment on it, neither will I.
“To test my abilities. To show off. …Mostly to show off.” I allowed myself a little chuckle. “There’s nothing to love about this body. I can’t even beat first form Frieza.”
“Oh, don’t say that.”
“But it’s true!”
He folded his arms and huffed, clearly wanting to say something back. He was never one for comebacks. Actually, now that I think about it, aren’t all Kai stronger than first form Frieza? …How come no one killed him? Isn’t their whole job preserving life?
“Well…even if you aren’t that strong anymore…”
So he’s just going to say it.
“Don’t you want to work your way back up to that level? When you were on Earth, you got all your power from absorbing the life force of others. I don’t think you’ve trained even once! Doesn’t that feel like a waste?! I mean, with the combination of Piccolo and…various Saiyan cells, that’s just infinite zenkai boosts! How many times did you get to do that? Like, once?!”
“I get what you’re trying to say, and I’ll get back to that in a second.” I said with a bit too much force, making Shin back away from the window slightly. Augh, it’s such a pain having to control my tone around this guy. I take a small breath and regain my smile.
“How do you know all that?”
“…I’m sorry?”
Really? You gave me an info dump of that size and aren’t ready for questions? Oh, he’s dumber than I thought.
“I understand knowing what I’m made of, I made no attempt of hiding that. …But saying that I’ve never trained? Either you’re exaggerating, or you were watching me on Earth preeetty closely.”
I pause for effect, putting my hands on my hips and tilting my head slightly. …No reaction. He’s just staring out the window, messing with his sleeve. I can see his eye twitch from time to time, but that’s it.
…Alright, it’s been half a minute, I’m bored.
“Now don’t get me wrong, it is true.” I added with a laugh, raising both hands in mock surrender.
That got a smile out of him, but he still didn’t turn his head.
“Is there something you want to tell me—”
That same explosion of glass meeting hardwood floor erupted from the doorway, subtly announcing the wrinkly Kai and that attendant’s arrival. Shin nearly fell out the window. I gave a small wave to the attendant as he stared at the thousands of shards scattered across the ground.
“You know, I’ve been meaning to get rid of that one for ages. Everyone’s been so helpful today.”
“Why, you…!”
The wrinkly Kai stopped him with a hand, and he quieted down instantly. He took a few steps forward, smiling once he noticed Shin.
“I see you went on ahead of us. Well, had any luck?”
Shin shook his head quietly, hanging his head in shame.
“Ohh well, don’t beat yourself up about it. Let this be a learning experience: guys like him won’t budge unless there’s something in it for them!”
He let out a hearty laugh, unbothered by Shin’s gloomy mood and Kabito’s general dislike of me. …Oh, whoops, just referred to him by name. Not giving him that respect.
“Listen here Celly—"
“Not my name.”
“Listen here Cell, what do you think about getting your perfect form back?”
I involuntarily lurched forward, my tail smacking around glass shards as it wagged without my input. I could hear Shin let out a yelp behind me as I tried to articulate a response.
“What do I think about it? Ha! You and all those ogres know its all I ever think about! That’s why this is my punishment—”
“Yes, and some people--” He looks directly at Shin, who looks away immediately. “--think that you’ve served your sentence. Though…I can’t say if you’ve been acting out or had model behavior, on account of you never leaving this room.”
Shin finished picking glass out of his hair and did a little shuffle to stand next to the older Kai. He chimed in, trying to add to the conversation.
“We had all those talks under your window to convince you to come out, but you never did. And because of that, we couldn’t really judge if you changed or not. Would you…try to drink us on sight? Or would you eat everything in our picnic basket, like Goku would?”
“You’re standing there, talking to me. Isn’t that enough of an indicator?”
The older Kai shook his head, ready to answer in Shin’s place.
“You had to make the effort to go outside, show some curiosity. Shin visiting you out of pity doesn’t count.”
He doesn’t look it, but that old Kai has a bit of bite to him. Didn’t think I was going to be fighting the elderly today.
“The Supreme Kai has to care for the entire universe. Taking up even a minute of his time is unforgivable.”
Oh, now the big guy’s jumping in. Hoooray. Why did it take him so long to speak up, was he counting the shards?
“Okay, I feel like we’re a bit off topic!”
Shin raised his voice, back straight, trying to command the respect a Supreme Kai deserves. The big guy cleared his throat and took a few steps back. Old Kai just laughed.
“I thought of ways to restore your…ahem…‘perfect’ form with my magic, but the way your body morphs is quite complex. I hesitate to call it a transformation, because unlike Goku and the others, you aren’t awakening some new power within yourself. You’re changing due to outside stimuli. The only way I can think to replicate it without harming Android 17 and 18 would be to ask Dr. Gero directly. But…I don’t want to owe that man a favor.”
“That, and Shin reeeeally hates the hell he’s in. Lots of goop and odd machines everywhere…we don’t even know who manages it!”
Old Kai adds that last part with a smile, scratching the back of his head. These people…are they really gods…?
“I swear, the machines just…move on their own! There are always odd voices coming from vats of things that have no mouth to speak with, a--a giant computer that runs on its own, but it keeps running into errors? And it shuts itself down repeatedly to try again…and keeps failing…” Shin stops to catch his breath, and I catch his attendant patting his back slightly.
“It’s supposed to be his hell, but I’ve never seen him there! Isn’t that strange?!”
Maybe he’s better off not knowing. If I told him the truth, I bet he wouldn’t have a good night’s sleep for a thousand years. Gods having nightmares…what a funny thing.
“Yes. That is…quite strange.” I say, trying to sound concerned.
The attendant steps forward, looking me dead in the eyes.
“What he is trying to say is we have no choice but to use the Dragon Balls.”
If I had eyebrows, they would be raised.
“These are the conditions: If you claim victory in the Hell Games, we will use the Dragon Balls to restore your perfect form. If you lose, there will be no second chances, leaving you in that wretched form forevermore. Are these terms acceptable?”
He asked this, a smug smile creeping on his face. I’m not stupid. At my current power level, I can’t even beat small fry like him… It’s infuriating, but I can only nod for now.
“Good.”
The attendant bowed curtly and quickly stepped out of the way to let his master approach me. The Supreme Kai had his nose scrunched and his eyebrows furrowed, clearly annoyed. Was it because his attendant stepped on his toes by explaining the Hell Games in his place? …Actually, I remember Shin saying the arena didn’t even have a name. Did he just...make that up on the spot?
Shin waves his little finger around, and I’m suddenly blinded by a cloud of smoke.
When I blink again, I notice I’m a bit lower on the ground than I was before. I don’t have to bend my neck as much to look him in the eye, and…that weight where my tail should be is…?
I look up from Shin’s smiling face to Old Kai laughing, clapping as if congratulating me. The big guy stood a few steps away, in complete shock.
“You never said anything, but I knew you doubted my magic! While I can’t reproduce the power of his perfect form, I can change his appearance just fine! …You will still have to train to get back to your former power, though. There’s nothing I can do about that.”
He looked down for a moment, thinking, before picking up speed again.
“But! While the tournament is running, I can give you a power up that will bring you back to your super perfect form…but only for a limited time. Think of it like a…kaioken of sorts.”
I’m sure that name is taken, but whatever!
“But also! While this magic does replicate your looks and voice, it does have a time limit. For some reason, it always fizzles out around midnight. Again, unless I find something while experimenting, I won’t be able to do anything about that.”
I could hear Old Kai stifle a laugh, and I quickly turned to glare at him, daring him to make that joke. …Knowing Shin, I’m sure he has no idea.
“That’s alright, Supreme Kai. This is more than enough. I shall make the most of what you’ve given me, and in return, I will show you a perfect victory on that stage.”
I put one hand in front of me and gave a slight bow, the theatrics of yesteryear coming back to me naturally. I thought to ham it up even more, but he was already beaming once I looked up, so I decided to quit while I was ahead.
“Yeah, about that…”
Old Kai bumbled forward, scratching his head.
“We just got the last bit of funding from ol’ Yenma, so construction is gonna speed up a bit. I’d give it a month.”
“A…month?”
“Yup.”
“A month.” Shin said aloud, not directed at anyone. He stared off into the middle distance before breaking into a sprint out of the room.
“I NEED TO MAKE SOME CALLS!”
The attendant ran out after his master, leaving me with Old Kai who only chuckled awkwardly.
“So, ahaha…good luck!”