Chapter Text
Haruhi has always struggled romantically.
At the age that children normally start developing crushes, Haruhi had been dealing with the loss of her mother, which ended up severely stunting her love life. She never learned how to ‘like’ someone, so instead she just avoided any real romance. It was easier that way.
So when she arrived at Ouran and met the thrilling host club, she was labeled as one of the few who could resist the hosts' charm. That’s why they took her in, because she wasn’t like other girls at their school. She wasn’t really a girl at all, according to them.
At first, she didn’t mind. She had no interest in attempting to pursue a romantic relationship, but as the year progressed, something in their dynamic changed.
She doesn’t know when she started letting her guard down to them, but by the time she realized it, it was already too late. She no longer felt tense around the Host Club. She felt at ease around them.
That by itself isn’t a real problem though, she’s had plenty of friends before, maybe not as close as she is with the Host Club, but still there. The problem arose when she started missing them. She simply could not stop thinking about them, all of the time, even in her sleep!
Haruhi wasn’t oblivious (though she sometimes acted like it), she knew what these feelings meant. She had a crush, but it wasn’t just on one person.
She had a crush on all six guys.
She tried denying it for weeks, she tried to shake off these feelings, but she just couldn’t. She tried to pick one and move on but then brought up the question of who was the best suitor for her.
She ended up making multiple pros and cons lists for each of the members, a few flowcharts, and even tried the “picking flower petals” method. She gained nothing from this.
Each Host had their own unique charms, and none of them had any bad cons. Frustrated, she consulted her father who told her to “go with the flow”, whatever that meant.
She was at a loss of what to do with her feelings and it was obviously taking a toll on her relationships with them. She tried her best to hide her struggles, but yet each one of them managed to read her like an open book.
They each asked her what was wrong and to each she said with a smile “It’s nothing, don’t worry.”
Though she’s sure they didn’t believe her, thankfully nobody brought it up again. The boys were always good about giving her space when she needed it, well, most of the time at least.
One night, she just couldn’t take it anymore and pulled out the smartphone the twins had bought her for Christmas. She opened her search engine and quickly typed “Liking multiple men.”
She got a few links telling her about polyamory which she’d heard about before. There was one long and lengthy wikipedia article she had read about sexualities for a report, so she knew of polygamy. This wasn’t what she wanted though.
“How to know if you’re polyamorous.” Scroll.
“Polyamory by definition.” Scroll.
“Mice and their sexual tendencies.” What? Scroll.
She almost turned off her phone until she stumbled upon something that peaked her interest. She clicked the screen and what popped up amazed her.
“How to ask out multiple men at once: A Guide.”
Haruhi scrolled through the website, it was a very detailed tutorial that felt a little too specific.
“Step One: Make your feelings clear.
These kinds of relationships can be very intimidating and it’s important to have open and honest communication between each of your lovers. Confess your feelings for each one of them individually and don’t move on until you know they either reciprocate your feelings or don’t.”
Haruhi grimaced, she wasn’t entirely sure her ego could take being rejected by any of them. But something inside of her liked calling them her lovers, so she knew she had to do it, and soon as it was almost graduation.
She had never had a crush before, so she wasn’t exactly sure how to let them know. She’d seen a movie where the main character wrote letters to each of her love interests. That might be her best shot.
She’d follow the tutorial though and hand them out individually. What was she going to write though? Hey let’s be in a polycule?
“Step Two: Introduce your lovers.
If you’re partners don’t already know each other, introduce them and make sure they know what they’re getting into.”
Well, that wasn’t exactly necessary. She definitely needs to tell them that she loves more than one of them but maybe instead of mentioning in their letter, she can tell them in person? Assuming they don’t reject her.
“Step Three: Set boundaries.
Work out what you are and aren’t okay with, make sure each of them know your limits and feel comfortable expressing theirs.”
This was probably the easiest of the steps, she’s never had a problem setting a boundary with them before. She might need to change some things though when it comes to intercourse though. That was a future conversation though.
Haruhi scrolled down hoping to find more steps but unfortunately there was nothing left. The three steps felt really vague and yet it was the most helpful advice Haruhi has received so far.
Was this plan vague and uncertain? Yes, but it was the only plan she’s got. She’d rather have a bad plan than no plan.
And so that night Haruhi got to work.