Chapter Text
Tuesday 23rd November
Dear Diary,
Just another day as an immortal being, living with Herobrine, my hyperactive husband. I suppose living with him is never boring. Just you guess what he did today! I was in our lounge, sitting on the sofa with a cup of coffee when Herobrine approached me, jumping up and down. He said: “Hey Entity! Guess what? I just got the BEST idea ever!” then proceeded to show me how many ring-shaped crisps he could fit on his fingers. Yawn. “Aren’t you impressed?” he asked me. Couldn’t he see I was clearly uninterested in his nonsense? “Of course not. That was stupid and unnecessary.” I replied. He then chose to mock me by saying “You don’t have the crisp vibes” I shook my head at that string of words. I did not want to see any more of his dirty, crumb covered, thick fingers so I demanded he go elsewhere, to which he groaned and teleported away. Finally, my peace and quiet!
Just the other day, Herobrine was demanding me to create a child for him to look after. I gave him several reasons why we can’t do that: we already have far too many pets, we are both insane and otherwise not mentally equipped to look after a child, that child will not survive in Herobrine’s care (he is too irresponsible), he already has me to love.
In times like these, I am convinced Herobrine just wants to unload his love onto someone. Cute. Yes, I am jealous of him; he feels the urge to love someone at seemingly random times, whereas I rarely feel emotion as strongly as him. He often gives me cuddles - without my consent - which is endearing, but a little irritating, even more so when he practically squishes me with those big, strong, muscular arms of his. I’m much smaller than him and he often towers over me, so I simply levitate up to his height until we are eye level with each other. He likes to dominate me in every way with his huge muscles and tall stature, but he forgets that I am as sneaky as he is powerful so I find ways to control him. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate my husband, though he acts like a child sometimes. A child! I really do adore Herobrine as he has such a unique perspective on life and is so excitable and bouncy. I really wish I had his admirable zest for life…
Enough about Herobrine, I wish to tell you about my studies in magic. For weeks now I have been practising my magic from my spellbook, studying for my final magic exam. Entity 404, who adopted me, first taught me magic, before sending me to a magic school. I grew to love it and I spend lots of time practising and researching it. Herobrine doesn’t understand magic so I take lots of pleasure in explaining it to him, but he is not interested, so I am still on top since I can easily defeat him with magic. Magic is definitely a passion of mine and I find it very useful in many circumstances.
Just a few hours ago, I was practising magic in the basement, creating portals and summoning demons (who are much fiercer than Herobrine). The magic, it pulsed strongly inside me as I practised my spells, and it felt great. I felt in control and powerful and ready to take on the world, just like Herobrine says I can. But as soon as I step outside my basement, the light bothers me, attacks me so I flee to the safety of my bedroom, where I currently am.
In my bedroom, it is dark and cool; it makes me feel comfortable. I have made up a small, 1 person den inside my bedroom, with pillows and blankets. When I am overwhelmed, I retreat here, to watch my favourite movies on my laptop and eat plain yoghurt, while occasionally playing with my sensory toys. My favourite one is my Rubix cube as it distracts me from the world with the interesting puzzles.
Herobrine, if you are reading this please stop or I will put a curse on you. I MEAN IT!
Herobrine just tried to read my diary; this is why I have written the previous sentence. He is obsessed with trying to figure out my ‘secrets’ because he thinks everything is about him. Every time he asks about my secrets, I tell him: “There's a reason I keep my secrets. I don't want anyone to know everything about me”
Herobrine is something else. He either loves my mysterious nature, or thinks that I must be cheating on him because I won't tell him what I am hiding. It is tiresome and frustrating to prove your innocence for something you never did. Being mysterious is a hold over from my past, when I felt the need to conceal everything, so that they don't find out.
Herobrine just told me that he has no trouble sharing everything about himself and that he is very proud of himself and his body. I replied “ Good for you. ”
Herobrine and I are polar opposites: he has an entire career based upon sharing his life online; whereas I avoid appearing online like the plague. He shares his life daily with his ‘followers’ and often invites me to star in his videos. I decline, every time he asks. I want to remain cloaked in mystery (literally - since I wear a white cloak) and I don't want strangers prying into my life. Herobrine often responds to this with “Cmon, it'll be fun!” and “Don't you want tons of devoted fans screaming your name?” Thankfully, he never forces me to take part. It seems like a nightmare to me.
I am now finishing this diary entry since Herobrine wants me to sleep in his double bed with him. I'll keep him company; he needs it, in fact, we both do.
I will return tomorrow.
– Entity 303