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Memories hurt.
Bad memories hurt more.
But when you don’t have many good memories, that makes you suffer.
All she knew of her early life was that it was calm, safe and most of all, peaceful.
That was a time of good memories.
But as people say, all good things must come to an end.
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It was a whirlwind. Scary. Life changing.
Her parents past caught up to all of them.
It was her who suffered the most (even if she didn’t believe that)
They took her away.
From the safety, normalcy and peace.
From her family.
She lost them both…
They wanted her to take their places.
It was more like they forced her to take their places.
A fate that wasn’t originally meant for her.
Her hair was cut and dyed, eyes given contacts, freckles covered.
She became a new person.
Someone so unlike her really.
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Her, in her new appearance, was sent into training.
She learned how to become an assassin.
A Ruthless killer.
Just like her father.
She was sent into more training.
She learnt to be a spy.
Untrustworthy to many.
Just like her mother.
Deadly, dangerous, stealthy, infamous
She was not who she once was.
Those who she works for never treated her well.
Even if they needed her.
She was valuable.
Though they never acted like it.
Across the world she was sent.
Taking out target after target.
Never getting caught.
A child soldier she was.
And she still dreamed of growing up.
————————————————————————
She was growing up.
Rebelling against certain rules.
Contacts stopped being worn
Freckles no longer covered
Hair was growing out again, dye faded.
Longing to see the world without the job of murder, she stuck a deal.
He would still work for them, be their perfect little assassin and spy, as long as they let her be her own person.
Take back her identity.
And It was agreed.
Soon she realised something.
She didn’t know her own Identity anymore.
It was taken from her.
Like her life for many years
Like her parents…
————————————————————————
A new identity was taken on
Her natural hair cover by a wig was the only appearance change she deemed necessary.
She felt like she was more beautiful with it on.
She went from the shadows to the spotlight.
Performing on stage
Voice echoing around the building
Singing voice serenading all.
Dancing capturing all the eyes as they turned to her.
She loved the attention.
The spotlight.
The freedom.
Although, the loneliness could get to her sometimes.
To her it wasn’t worth complaining about though.
Allowing herself to let go of some traits of her previous identity, she felt herself gain a new sense of identity.
She wasn’t cruel.
Or ruthless.
Maybe this was the life she was meant to live?
————————————————————————
It was only a year before they called her again.
A new proposal.
She was required to join a team
The team had lost someone and needed a new person.
She was a replacement.
It was a battle, to give up the life she was living now
But maybe a new change could be good?
And she did make a deal those years ago.
So she left.
A new adventure.
New life.
New contract.
No matter how she felt about it, she wasn’t given that much of a chance to say no.
Located in a surprisingly quiet area, not far from London, she arrived to the new house she would be living in.
She met the team she was now joining.
One other woman
Two men.
She was introduced to the neighbours.
A woman living to the left
Three men in the house to the right.
Hopefully she wouldn’t be so lonely here?
————————————————————————
Sat in the living room, Marcy chatted away to Ricky.
Relaxed.
Joyful.
Safe.
She sat there, her hair how she wanted it, no contacts in sight, freckles in plain view.
She was herself.
No alternate identity
She sat with her friend, her teammate, someone she considered to be like a brother.
Loneliness was something she hadn’t felt in years as she waited for her other teammates to arrive for their monthly team bonding activity.
To her this was a night of fun, enjoyment, togetherness.
No matter what it was.
It was a source of good memories to her.
Although, anything remotely fun was a source of a good memory.
It could be as simple as cooking with Rupert.
Listening to Cyra talk about a new invention of hers
Or just chatting with Ricky
Before she arrived she didn’t want to leave the life she was living.
Before that she wanted to be free of the life she was forced to live
But even before that, she didn’t know she would leave that life.
As she watched her other two teammates crash into the room, board games stacked comically high in Cyra’s arms, laughing with no care in the world, She knew that she wouldn’t leave this life without a a fight.
No matter how much her past torments her or the memories hurt her…
She had new memories now - filled with love and laughter- to replace the ones filled with suffering and lies.
Nothing will make her give up her joy and self again.
Because she was Marcy Adams and this was life she was meant to live.