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What your eyes won't tell me

Summary:

The new occurrence is so miniscule Charles doesn’t think it should even register. And yet, it turns Charles’s world upside down.

Namely - Edwin starts to look at his lips. Sometimes. It’s very brief and very rare, all things considered. Yet still, Charles’s mind lingers on this latest development and doesn’t seem keen on letting it go.

---

OR: 5+1 times Charles caught Edwin looking at his lips and one time Charles looked at Edwin's

Notes:

I woke up on Saturday already with this idea in my head so I guess I must be even dreaming about dbda now. I also wrote most of it that same day, so I think I was truly blessed by the Muses to produce this fic lol

Here's my tumblr where I have many, many ideas and thoughts about dbda and draw sometimes!

Please don't be shy and leave a comment if you'd like to share your thoughts, thanks!

Work Text:

What your eyes won't tell me I’ll have to pry from your lips

1

When Charles first learns about the concept of a binary star system a couple of years ago, he immediately falls in love with it. Forever interconnected, orbiting around each other and seen as one through a telescope even though they’re actually two objects? It instantly makes him think of him and Edwin. He’s a little embarrassed by the sappy thought, so he doesn’t share it with his partner, just privately stacks it in the back of his mind and revisits it from time to time, when they’re forced to be apart, when they cooperate particularly well, when they fit perfectly on the couch together.

They’re endlessly fated to be together and that’s exactly how Charles thinks of the two of them.

Which is why the fact that Edwin felt the need to ask Charles if anything changed because of his confession is absurd to Charles. Obviously it didn’t. It wouldn’t. Edwin is the most important person in his life, his companion of more than 30 years and nothing could change how Charles feels about him. Or rather - nothing could diminish his love for Edwin.

He assured Edwin everything will remain the same between them. Charles won’t treat him any differently, because if anything – he’s flattered, proud even, to be the object of affection of the best person he knows. Who wouldn’t treat it like a privilege or a gift? He’s so happy and so confident that all is well and will continue to be, that he doesn’t account for Edwin changing.

One day Charles notices that Edwin’s hand doesn’t make it the full way over to Charles’s shoulder, like it was clearly supposed to, because Edwin awkwardly aborts the movement, quickly snatching his hand away. Charles frowns. ‘It’s probably nothing,’ he tells himself and puts his own hand on Edwin’s shoulder as if he hasn’t seen anything.

Another time, they’re talking about which of the magical roots from Edwin’s book fits the one they’ve seen in the forest they’ve just come from. Edwin flips through the pages and turns the volume towards Charles to point at a potential candidate. When Charles leans in to look at the illustration in the book over his shoulder, Edwin stiffens and just hands the book to him before moving away.

Charles immediately knows what’s going on - he’s learnt to read Edwin like the very book he’s holding. They’ve been through this before, at the beginning of their friendship. He knows it’s not Edwin being averse to touch, this is him craving it but fearing he’s making Charles uncomfortable with this need and Charles will have absolutely none of that.

He looks over the page the book’s opened at and without moving his eyes from it, walks over to Edwin. He doesn’t even need his sight to find him, there’s always been this gravitational pull between them, an indescribable force that makes Charles aware of Edwin’s presence at all times.They’re always orbiting around each other anyway. He slings one arm around Edwin’s shoulders rendering his partner unable to escape, and pushes the book towards Edwin, so it rests right in between them.

“I don’t know, mate,” he asks and tries not to beam when he feels Edwin’s posture relax when he’s pressed right to Charles's side. “What do you think?”

Edwin stops trying to avoid touching him after that. They would need to have a serious conversation about it if he didn’t, because Charles sure as hell was not going to give up the precious contact between them. Not for any silly reason, that is, like Edwin thinking his affection is a burden for Charles, which is utter and complete bollocks.

With that little hiccup conquered, Charles is pretty chuffed to say that things are how they used to be in regards to their friendship once again. Nothing in Edwin’s behavior differs from the usual, and Charles doesn’t think anything really changes in his. He’s always been quite a tactile person, especially with Edwin, so what if he feels the need to sit just a bit closer to him from time to time or hugs him for more and more reasons? He just wants to make up for those times where Edwin was hesitant to reach out first. Anyway, it’s no harm done.

So when he notices a new little detail transpiring in Edwin after a few days, he can’t help but think that maybe his extra hugs have caused it. Have earned him this.

The new occurrence is so miniscule Charles doesn’t think it should even register. And yet, it turns Charles’s world upside down.

Namely - Edwin starts to look at his lips. Sometimes. It’s very brief and very rare, all things considered. Yet still, Charles’s mind lingers on this latest development and doesn’t seem keen on letting it go.

The first time it happens, they’re sitting together on the sofa, Edwin’s reading a mystery novel out loud, while Charles lounges with his feet in Edwin’s lap. It's their usual set up, there’s nothing to write home about, it’s only one of Charles’s favorite pastime activities of theirs.

“She opened the door to take a peek inside the basement.” Edwin’s soft and melodic voice wraps around Charles like a comforting blanket, and he sinks into the feeling, closing his eyes, never wanting to have to move ever again. “She doesn’t get to see much though, before a hand is pressed to her mouth from behind. Nonetheless, she tries to scream.” Charles holds his unnecessary breath. “Alright, Charles, I think we ought to finish here. We do have quite a lot of cases to go through.”

“Oi!” Charles opens his eyes and sits up, awakened from his pleasant trance. “You can’t just stop reading at a cliffhanger!”

“We have been reading for quite a while now, the sun is almost up,” argues Edwin.

“Exactly, ‘almost’, which means the day has not fully even started yet, has it?” At the fond eye roll Edwin gives him, Charles knows he’s very close to making him crack, so he leans in a bit and produces his famous puppy dog eyes, which he knows Edwin is weak against. “Please? Just until we know what’s happened to her?”

What Charles expects is a considering tilt of Edwin’s head, followed by a reluctant turn back to the book, signaling Charles’s victory. What actually happens is that mid head tilt Edwin’s eyes drop to Charles’s jutted out lips, consequently making something warm drop in Charles’s stomach. His lips relax on instinct, or maybe part in surprise and he watches as Edwin’s gaze lingers, charging the air between them, turning Charles’s insides molten. Their faces are so close now.

The whole exchange lasts less than 2 seconds, after which Edwin rapidly blinks and swiftly turns to look back at the book again, as if he hasn’t just knocked Charles off his axis.

“Alright, the following chapter is rather short, so we’ll read one more, and then we’ll finally return to the neglected cases. Is that agreeable to you?”

Charles can only quietly nod and force himself to leave Edwin’s orbit and lay back down.

He doesn’t really hear the beginning of the next chapter and has to ask Edwin questions about it later, which irritates the other ghost to no end.

2

Charles loves to perch at the side of Edwin’s desk, even though Edwin’s tried to offer to find him his own chair (‘It would only be proper, Charles, and it is our desk.’), but Charles has always refused, content with his seat of choice. However, recently, he’s discovered that when they’re not actively interviewing clients, he can switch from sitting at the very edge of the desk and facing the room, to turning his body towards the window and sitting on it from Edwin’s side, positioning him just that much closer to his friend. The proximity makes him settle like nothing else, so he does that more now, when they’re alone in the office, and Edwin doesn’t say anything about it.

Charles finds himself quite fond of this new discovery of his, since it gives him a better angle to just observe Edwin as he works, all studious and serious. If he wanted to, Charles could move just a tiny bit to his left and his leg would bump into Edwin’s shoulder. He doesn’t want to disrupt Edwin’s focus though, so he busies himself with swinging his legs where they’re hanging off the desk and just looking down at Edwin, a smile unconsciously already pulling at his lips.

After a few minutes of this, spent basking in the special warmth in his chest he has growing just for Edwin, he itches to catch the other ghost’s attention.

“Whatcha writing?” he inquires, grinning.

Edwin stops writing in his notebook and looks up at Charles. It’s not quite a look through his lashes, not in the intentional sense, but the position of his head makes it hard for any look not to be from underneath his lashes. When their eyes meet something thrums in the place where Charles’s heart would be, making the warmth he feels there intensify. When Edwin briefly glances down to Charles’s lips, it turns into heat. But it’s a quick look, Charles doesn’t even know if Edwin’s aware he’s done it, because he seems to be the only one left untethered by it.

“You see, these are the plausible victim profiles of our new suspect.” Edwin points to one of the paragraphs, wanting Charles to read it, as if comprehending anything was a possibility for him now. “However, I’m not quite sure if their age matters.”

Edwin goes on explaining what he wrote and Charles can only be thankful that he doesn’t require any actual input, because he’s only able to nod and stare at the pages of the notebook unseeingly, willing his body to cool down.

3

The next time it happens, it’s pretty untimely, if you ask Charles. They’re hiding from a witch who's stalking them through a museum. It’s the middle of the night, which means no visitors and no crowd to blend into. They can only run and hide and wait for the part of the plan where the witch takes their bait and is distracted enough that Crystal can sneak behind her and knock her out with her psychic abilities.

That is how Charles finds himself pressed into a small alcove, with Edwin’s body basically covering his own. It’s not like they don’t hug or touch often, Charles makes sure they do, however this is still… a lot of contact between them. Edwin’s frantic eyes scan the corridor next to them, listening for any sounds of the witch closing in on their location and Charles knows he should probably be doing the same or at the very least staying alert and vigilant, but all he can focus on is Edwin’s face only centimeters away from his.

Edwin has a really nice profile, Charles’s always thought so, there’s just something regal and elegant in the slope of his nose, he also has those charmingly bushy brows and a surprisingly full upper lip–

His thoughts are interrupted when Edwin rapidly turns to him and he can see that he’s meant to say something but gets caught up by how close Charles is. At least Charles’s not alone in his predicament now.

With lips still parted with unsaid words, Edwin glances down in a habit that’s quickly becoming familiar to Charles and for an incredulous second Charles thinks Edwin is going to kiss him. His own mouth slackens. But as soon as Edwin’s eyes fall down, they flick back up to meet his and the moment is over.

“I believe the witch will be upon us any second now,” Edwin whispers, all collected and professional once more and Charles imagines if both of them were alive, he’d be able to feel Edwin’s breath on his face. “Prepare to move out at my signal.”

Charles has to pull himself together in record time and mostly manages. He’s a bit slower on the uptake, but just as the witch’s about to catch up to him, Crystal emerges from behind a marble statue and incapacitates the witch with her psychic touch long enough for Edwin to put an imprisoning spell on their perpetrator. All in all, their case is a smashing success and Charles ‘lives’ to see another day, which he spends trying not to imagine Edwin kissing him in that alcove.

4

The fourth time is almost too quick to count, but Charles does it anyway. They encounter an imp on one of their cases, a small and weak opponent, but a chill still runs down Charles’s spine when it threatens to take Edwin back to Hell with it. Edwin freezes it with a spell before it can get to him, setting it up perfectly for Charles to swing his new bat at it and smash it into a million pieces. Objectively, it was a pretty easy case, but Charles still finds himself rattled from it and unable to stop himself from throwing his arms around Edwin’s neck when it’s all over.

“No one's gonna take you there ever again,” he swears into his friend’s neck and nuzzles closer.

Edwin pulls away from the embrace, just enough to be able to look at Charles, without letting go and Charles is grateful for that prolonged contact.

“I know, Charles. Thank you.” He smiles reassuringly, but not before dropping his eyes to Charles’s mouth for a fraction of a second. Perhaps it’s become a reflex for him now, to look there every time they’re close to each other. Charles catches himself starting to lean in slowly, as if a meteor caught in a planet’s orbit, but he stops as soon as he becomes aware of the movement. Throat suddenly dry, he has to swallow before he can try to talk again.

“No problem, mate.”

“I’ve never had any doubts about it, I’m quite confident in that new bat of yours,” Edwin continues and somehow the trust his friend has in him makes his eyes burn for a second.

If he could, Charles would bind the two of them together, merge their souls, so one cannot exist in any plane of existence without the other. If he really was a lonely asteroid he’d gladly crash, shatter into stardust on impact making it impossible for anything and anyone to mend him back together without picking up broken pieces of the planet alongside it.

He always wants to be closer to Edwin, is always leaning in or hoping for Edwin to do it, and it’s a comfort unlike anything else when they’re touching. It means Edwin’s still with him, a palpable proof he hasn’t failed to protect him.

Charles craves any form of contact between them and has for a long time, because Edwin is unlike anyone he’s ever met before and means to him more than anyone ever could. So Charles is not fully surprised that when Edwin looks down at his lips, Charles hears a voice in his head chanting for his friend to follow through, a whispered, disembodied ‘do it’, urging Edwin to close the gap between them. To finally make them be one.

5

Charles loves bantering with Edwin, so much so he sometimes says something silly just to get a rise out of him. It’s like a game of push and pull between them and Charles wouldn’t have it any other way.

“No, I really don’t think it possible for you to best a kraken with your cricket bat, Charles.” Edwin’s clearly annoyed that they’re even having this discussion, but his voice is impossibly fond, as it usually is while speaking to Charles, so he knows Edwin is having as much fun bickering about it as Charles is.

“No, listen to me, mate.” Charles is following Edwin around the office, as the other ghost puts away various books in their rightful place on one of their many bookshelves. “What if it’s small and if I, like, hit it in its important places, yeah?” Charles’s smile gets wider and wider every time Edwin throws him a disbelieving look over his shoulder while placing a book on its designated shelf. “You know how acupuncture operates on special pressure points? What if instead of pricking them with a needle, I’d pommel them with my bat! It’d be brills.”

Edwin turns to him then, still having a few books left to distribute, his back to the bookshelves. Charles delights in seeing an amused smile forming on his lips, despite Edwin trying really hard not to let it show.

“Indeed, if the kraken was not mightier than a house cat, then you'd have a proper chance at defeating it. However, your sophisticated plan would be to… strike it in its ‘pressure points’? How could you possibly know where they are located?”

“Oi, bigger than a house cat, c’mon.” Charles grins and takes a step closer to Edwin, pulled in by that something about him. “And I don’t know, maybe the flow of energy through its body would be the same as that in an octopus. So I could look that up to stop it.”

Flow of ener– Charles, have you been indulging in one of those animas with Niko again?” Edwin raises an eyebrow at him and Charles probably shouldn’t consider it so endearing but he does.

“Anime, mate. And maybe.” He comes even closer then, and just to make Edwin laugh says, “Yes.”

His foolproof plan succeeds and Edwin lets out a little amused huff and god, there’s already not that much space between them, but Charles wants all of it gone. His need for proximity is like a formless, ever present, hovering being that floats around them and pushes Charles towards Edwin.

When Edwin’s eyes inevitably land on Charles’s lips, the being takes a form so quickly it makes Charles’s head swim.

‘Do it.’

He’s suddenly overfilled with visions of crowding Edwin against the bookshelves behind him, putting his hands on Edwin’s waist and making him drop the remaining books he’s holding. Bringing their faces so close together that Edwin will finally snap and follow the impulse to press his lips to Charles’s.

He doesn’t notice he’s leaned in until Edwin’s hand lands on his chest. Charles’s hazy mind supplies that Edwin probably meant to push Charles away or pat him in a friendly gesture, but that instead the signal has gotten lost along the way and now the hand just rests, unmoving. On Charles’s chest.

Previous fantasies of pushing Edwin into a hard vertical surface are quickly exchanged for images of Edwin pushing Charles back until his legs hit the desk behind him. And continuing to push until Charles has nowhere else to go but up to sit on it, Edwin following right behind him to stand in between his legs, maybe even placing his hands on Charles’s thighs. The vision turns his brain into static, and heats his incorporeal body up with the speed of lightning. He feels almost wild as he looks into Edwin’s eyes when they meet again, burning, the heat making him want to do something stupid.

“Perhaps these programs are not suited for you,” Edwin says in a voice which Charles can only describe as low and sultry. “I’d despise having to witness you being devoured by a kraken, simply because you were influenced to attempt something foolish by moving pictures.” Edwin’s hand moves almost imperceptibly where it rests on Charles’s chest and Charles almost launches himself forward–

“I know you guys don’t know how to use the internet, so you can’t really help me with this.” Crystal’s voice cuts through the haze in Charles’s mind. “But could you at least stop flirting in front of me? It’s distracting and frankly, I don’t wanna see it.”

Charles turns into a statue right where he stands, mortified. He can’t believe he forgot about Crystal being literally less than 10 meters away from them.

Edwin is able to get a grip on himself way faster than him, stepping away from Charles a mere second after Crystal’s comment, while Charles is left reeling from being so unceremoniously snatched out of the precious bubble he’s been in with Edwin.

“We are doing nothing of the sort, Crystal,” Edwin comments sharply and smoothes out the non-existent wrinkles on his vest. “And perhaps if you were a better teacher, we would be able to help you, but alas, here we are.”

Charles is left standing where he was, still and stupefied for another good 10 seconds, which Edwin and Crystal spend arguing, before he’s able to snap out of it and act normal again.

He doesn’t think he can take much more of this.

+1

Thankfully, they’re already back at the office, not even a scorched edge on a piece of clothing between the two of them, yet Edwin is clearly mad.

“Charles, for the love of everything holy, pray tell, why would you be so reckless as to abandon your post and enter a burning building?”

The answer’s easy.

“Because you were inside, mate.”

Edwin pinches the bridge of his nose in frustration.

“Yes, and I had it under control. It was indeed, unforeseen that the building would be set aflame, however, and I loathe to remind you, we are ghosts, therefore forces of nature cannot affect us.” Charles winces, but Edwin is not done yet. “Which is why, it would be in our best interest to act according to the previously agreed upon plan of action where I handle the inside of the building and you stay outside to be able to pursue the spirit we were tasked with apprehending the moment he decides to flee.”

Charles knows all this, of course, but he wasn’t really thinking rationally in the moment, was he? He doesn’t like seeing Edwin upset, pacing the office with his arms crossed, fueled by his annoyance, but Charles doesn’t regret his actions, nor letting the spirit get away.

“I know, yeah? But when the building all of a sudden just burst into flames, I–” he cuts himself off to gather his thoughts. “I don’t know, my body just moved on instinct. I couldn’t stand the thought of you in there alone. Fire can’t hurt us, true, but what if something else happened?” He looks down at his clenched fists. “I don’t like letting you go out of my sight in general, but this– ” Charles chokes up on his words and has to take a steadying breath to continue.

Edwin stops pacing and instead leans back on the desk, arms still crossed, but his face softens in understanding. Charles takes a few steps to stand right in front of his friend, needing to touch him, make sure he’s safe and right here with Charles. “I just thought– that it’d be better for us to be together anyway, wouldn’t it?”

Edwin’s gaze melts a tiny fraction more, but he frowns as he catches the meaning of Charles’s words.

“You thought it’d be more beneficial for us to… be together in a burning building?”

Charles laughs quietly and smiles at Edwin.

“Yeah, it’s always better when we’re together, innit?” He sees Edwin’s answering smile slowly bloom on his face and Charles’s eyes catch on the delightful, gentle curve. As always, he’s defenseless against Edwin’s gravitational pull. He only becomes aware he’s been staring at Edwin’s mouth, when he lifts his eyes back up to find Edwin’s eyes wide, observing, contemplating. They’re unsure but holding steady, unable to to look anywhere else, and Charles is arrested by the current he can feel flowing between them, held captive by their eye contact. Until Edwin licks his lips, and the movement, like warm light to a moth, lures Charles’s gaze again.

“Charles–”

Edwin doesn’t get to finish speaking before Charles closes the space between them, taking that leap, hands grasping Edwin’s waist, waiting to finally taste him–

Only to be stopped by Edwin very pointedly leaning away, back bent backwards over their desk.

Charles blinks owlishly at him, frozen in place – very much in his friend’s space, his hands pressing tightly into Edwin’s sides, leaning forward and into him as much as possible without actually pressing Edwin flat to the piece of furniture behind him.

“Charles, what are you doing?” Edwin’s voice is very carefully cautious.

Charles considers their position and thinks it’s rather obvious.

“Trying to kiss you.”

“Why?” Edwin draws the one syllable out like he’s being particularly patient with Charles, leading him to answer something very simple.

“What do you mean ‘why’? Because I wanted to kiss you!” What doesn’t he understand?

Edwin’s expression darkens with anger, sending alarm bells ringing in Charles’s head.

“If you miss kissing this greatly, I’m certain you’ll be able to easily find a willing volunteer for the position. There’s no need for you to so cruelly involve me. Have you no consideration for my affections towards you?” Edwin squirms in Charles’s hold, moving to push the other ghost away, but Charles doesn’t let him. “Or is that what led you to this misguided attempt at seeking intimacy? I never would have–”

“Edwin!” Charles interrupts frantically. “I said I wanted to kiss you. Not just anyone. How could it be anyone else?” He searches Edwin’s stormy green eyes, pleading for him to believe him. “And I’d never use you for something like this. Never. I’d never hurt you.”

Edwin settles at that and doesn’t try to part from him anymore, lets himself be held, but still looks at Charles doubtfully.

“Why then?”

“Why what?”

“Why did you want to k-kiss me, then?” He stutters but his eyes are blazing, unwavering.

‘Don’t you get it?’ Charles wants to ask. ‘Don’t you know you’re the center of my universe?’

“Because when I see the way you look at me it makes me feel like nothing I’ve ever felt before. It makes me forget where I am.” Edwin’s eyes round and it pushes Charles to be fully honest. “And makes me want to snog you senseless.“ At Edwin’s startled gasp, Charles smiles and reaches a hand up to stroke the other ghost’s cheek. “Because I look at you and don’t remember what it was like not to be in love with you.”

He has more to say, but Edwin seems unwilling to hear it, as he surges forward and desperately connects their lips together. Charles meets him exactly where he's at, kissing him with all the longing he’s held inside for weeks, all the love he’s felt for the past 30 years.

It feels like two stars colliding in the middle, only that it doesn’t bring ruin and destruction in its wake, instead creating a sense of finality, belonging. Their meeting doesn’t lead them to annihilation, it reshapes them into something greater together, until they merge and become one at last.

Edwin wraps his arms around Charles’s neck and pulls him impossibly closer, which is exactly where Charles wants to be - always with Edwin, so close that there’s no space between their bodies, their souls.

Charles licks the soft lips he’s been staring at and burns at the little moan that slips out of them when the kiss deepens. He feels Edwin nip at his lower lip and the realization that this is probably what Edwin thought of doing every time he looked at Charles’s mouth makes him whine desperately and practically manhandle Edwin onto their couch, where he quickly presses himself to the boy beneath him and kisses him again and again.

Charles feels like this new development won’t change much between them - there was already so much love there, so much affection, trust, companionship. They were already inseparable by the laws of the universe. But he knows it’ll also change everything about them and he can’t wait to see it.