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She's gone.
Running. Surroundings blur as he rushes by, pulse pounding in his ears. Praying, begging, pleading. Desperately clawing at the shadows pulling her further and further away.
I couldn't save her.
The house is empty. She's there, but she isn't. Her voice echoes through the cold, lifeless rooms, ringing in his head.
It's your fault.
It's ALL your fault.
IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT!
He wakes with a sharp gasp, chest heaving and sweat covering every inch of his skin. An anguished cry catches in his throat, ragged and worn. Burning tears spill down his cheeks as he struggles to breathe.
“All my fault all my fault all my fault”
“Damian?”
Alex rises from her side of the bed, roused from sleep by the sound of her lover's distress. His shallow breaths and shuddering sobs fill the air with grief as he grips his head, knuckles white and fists threatening to rip out his hair.
She knows those tears. The kind that wrack your entire body and rob your lungs of oxygen. They pour out from deep inside your soul, letting loose a torrent of sorrow and pain. She knows them, has felt them.
She sees them too often on him, in the late hours of the night after a nightmare(or perhaps memory) wrests him from unconsciousness with visions of fear and blood. It breaks her heart every time, and she wants so badly for him to never experience it again.
She moves closer to him and pries his hands away from his scalp, before firmly but gently cupping his face, pulling it towards her own. His eyes meet hers, and the despair she finds in them causes a swell of emotion that nearly has her crying out.
“Damian, I'm here. You're not alone. Look at me.” She keeps her voice as steady as she can, softly imploring him to focus on her. On the present.
His breathing halts for a moment as he seems to recognize where he is and who is with him before collapsing into her with a sob. She slowly coaxes him to lay down and pulls him to her chest, running a hand through his hair. He likes it when she does that. It helps him relax.
His arms encircle her waist and back, holding tightly as if she might disappear. She promises him she won't. If he doesn't believe her then she'll spend every day trying to prove it.
She continues to keep him close, numb arms be damned, murmuring “it's okay” and “I love you” repeatedly until his breathing evens out and the sound of his crying grows quiet and quieter still, eventually stopping altogether.
“Do you wanna talk about it?”
He shakes his head.
“Okay. Do you need something to drink?”
He shakes his head again, this time lifting it slightly to look at her.
“Just… stay. Just hold me close like this” he presses his face against her neck.
I'll break if you don't hold me together
She hears his unspoken plea and assures him with a kiss on his head.
“I won't go anywhere. I'm right here with you.”
She cradles his head and begins to hum, a familiar melody he once sang to her at a gala while teaching her how to dance. He feels the vibrations of her voice as he's curled into her, and closes his eyes. It isn't long before sleep finds him, this time with only visions of sunny days and the warmth of his new love beside him.