Work Text:
"What is that?"
"It is a toy horse, Dean."
"It's a 'My Little Pony'."
"Yes, that is the brand name. Is there a problem?"
"It's a My Little Pony. You can't buy our son a My Little Pony."
"...why?"
"It's a toy for girls! It's a girls' toy!"
"But...why?"
"Because...I don't know! Because girls like horses!"
"You like horses, Dean."
"Oh, well, yeah, horses. Actual horses, yeah. Horses are okay. But not My Little Pony type horses. They're douchy."
"I do not understand."
"They're all cutesy. And they have flowers on them and stuff. They're for girls, Cas. Will you just trust me on this one? I know presents."
"...it does not have flowers on it."
"Well, okay, this one, maybe. But in general they're all pink and sparkly, and - look, why are we even discussing this? It's a girls' toy. We're not buying it."
"But I like it. And it has wings."
"Well, yeah, but - well, yeah. Okay, it has wings. The wings are kind of cute, I'll give you that."
"And it has blue eyes. John's eyes are blue."
"...Dude, you are not going to guilt me into buying a My Little Pony, or a Polly Pocket, or a Barbie! No way! Teddy bears - okay. A kid can have a teddy bear. But we ought to be looking at, at Lego sets, and supersoakers, and Bionicles, and Transformers. Guy toys. Or - ooh! Lightsabers!"
"..."
"See, now these are cool."
"But these are weapons, Dean."
"Well, yeah? Your point?"
"I am not sure that it is entirely appropriate to buy weapons for our son on his birthday. Our son the Messiah."
"You just want to buy him some lame-ass girly toys. Look, I'm telling you, this is awesome! Look! Vroooom! Vroooom! Luke, I am your father! Vrooom!"
"..."
"...we really do need to watch more DVDs, Cas. Your education is woefully lacking in important cultural touchstones."
"..."
"Oh, God. Now you're pouting."
"I do not believe I am."
"You're totally pouting! Is this over the goddamn pony?"
"I liked it."
"But...it's for a girl, Cas!"
"I do not believe that we should be collaborating with the media to propagate reductive gender stereotyping. There is nothing inherently feminine about cooking, or cleaning, or liking flowers, or playing with ponies. Nor is there anything inherently masculine about playing with Lego or using weapons. Although there are obvious phallic undertones to toys such as the Lightsaber and the Supersoaker, admittedly. Nevertheless, I do not believe that these artificially constructed gender identities do any good, and I do not see the value of trying to indoctrinate our child with these concepts. Particularly given the nontraditional nature of our family."
"..."
"..."
"Wow. You really liked the My Little Pony, huh?"
"It has wings. And blue eyes. And you can brush its mane."
"..."
"Are you laughing at me?"
"What, me? Laughing at an angel of the Lord, who could smite my ass? What am I, stupid?"
"You are laughing at me. Just because my choice of toy does not conform to your traditional notions of gender-appropriate gifts."
"Okay! Fine! Sheesh! We'll get him the goddamn pony!"
"Thank you."
"But I'm getting the Lightsaber too."
"That is acceptable."