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Claude takes a sip of his iced tea and checks his phone for the tenth time in the last three minutes. He’s sitting in one of the many cafeterias near campus, a busy little place with mediocre but cheap coffee, surrounded by students working on their laptops, while pop beats from the last decade play faintly in the background.
His knee bounces nervously and he glances at his phone once more. Still nothing.
He drains the last of his tea with a long slurp. He’s hoping Dimitri shows up soon, before he chickens out and tells himself it’s okay to wait a little longer to come out to Dimitri. It’s not that he thinks his boyfriend will react poorly, but talking about himself isn't really something that Claude does very often. Or at all. He’s always been the type of guy to keep others at arm’s length, putting on his charming smile like a mask and cracking jokes at everything; the type of guy everyone likes but nobody really knows.
But he doesn’t want that kind of relationship with Dimitri. They’ve been dating for a few months now and Claude likes him. He really, really likes him. And he’s ready to take the next step. He wants to do more than ice cream dates and wholesome above-the-belt groping. He can tell Dimitri wants more, too, from the way his hands wander and the hungry look he gets in his eyes when they make out.
But before they can do all that, Claude has to get an important step out of the way first.
His phone buzzes and he reaches for it so quickly that it almost falls off the table.
I’m on my way, the message reads.
Claude orders another tea and waits. Five minutes later, Dimitri shows up looking winded, like he just ran three miles across campus straight after hockey practice to come here.
“Sorry I’m late!” Dimitri says, sounding out of breath.
“Hey,” Claude greets him with a kiss on his cheek and motions for him to sit. “How was practice?”
“Ah, it was good,” Dimitri says, a little nervous.
“Relax,” Claude reassures him. “I'm not going to break up with you.” But you might break up with me, he thinks.
“I’m glad,” Dimitri gives him a sheepish smile. “What did you want to talk about, then? Your text was–”
“Yeah, about that…” Claude rubs the back of his neck. He’s still not sure how a person is supposed to come out. He’s only done it twice. The first time was to his parents, but it was through facetime and only after T had changed his voice so much he ran out of plausible deniability. And then to Hilda, who has a trans girlfriend named Marianne and therefore safe person in Claude’s eyes.
Claude figures he might as well just be straightforward. “I’m transgender?” He blurts out.
Dimitri blinks.
Claude exhales, feeling like a huge weight has been lifted from his shoulders already, and plows forward. “Yeah so I wanted to tell you before we got any more serious. And listen, I understand this might be a dealbreaker because of the whole thing–”
“Claude,” Dimitri interrupts, putting his hand over Claude’s.
Claude swallows. “Yeah?”
His boyfriend’s voice is soft and reassuring. “I’m not going to break up with you. You’re still you and I–I love you and…I’m happy that you told me. You’re incredibly brave, I want you to know that.”
Claude feels like he might cry, so instead, he says, “Aw, you love me?”
Dimitri squeezes his hand. “I do. I love you very much.”
Claude leans in and kisses Dimitri fiercely, his heart swelling with affection. When they pull apart, Dimitri is looking at him in a way that sends a spark down Claude’s spine, and all Claude wants to do is take him somewhere private and rip his clothes off.
“Ah…so,” Dimitri clears his throat. “You’ll have to forgive me, I’m not very knowledgeable in these matters…would you like me to refer to you as she?”
What did he just say?
“...or perhaps a different name?”
When Claude realizes what's going on, he laughs so hard that the barista across the counter glares at him.
“Oh, Dima, that’s not–” he says, wiping a tear from the corner of his eyes. “I’m a trans man.”
Dimitri’s panicked face flushes red. He covers his face with his hands. “I’m so sorry. I’m such an idiot."
“It’s alright,” Claude says, patting Dimitri’s back. “In light of this…realization,” he snorts, “you’re still sure about this?“
Dimitri lifts his head and stares intently at Claude. “Nothing could ever make me not want you,” he says.
“Oh, yeah? What if I murdered someone?”
Dimitri considers this. “I’m sure you would have a good reason.”
“You’re unbelievable,” Claude laughs. He lays his head on Dimitri's shoulder and whispers, "Hey, Dima? I love you too."