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Yeo Jin walked in while Si Mok was still arranging her spoon and chopsticks where she would sit—across from him. As she took her seat, she ruffled his hair. He would usually finish setting a place for her before she could arrive, but the spoon was smudged and needed to be changed. She witnessed his little ritual for the first time and noticed that there was already a beer for her and a soda for him.
“You’re too good to me,” she said with a shake of her head, making her hair swish at her cheeks.
Si Mok used his fingers to comb his hair back into place and wondered at the tingling sensation that ran along his ears and neck. What could that be?
“Hey, Si Mok, you’ll make an amazing husband for someone someday.”
“What?” Si Mok didn’t know what he could have done to warrant such a pronouncement and couldn’t tell if she was making a joke.
“You know just what someone needs after a hard day at work,” she said and gulped a third of the glistening pint of beer he must have ordered when she texted that she was minutes away. It was still ice-cold.
“Is that all?” He thought her standards were not low, per se, but certainly unconventional. “Is that what women look for?”
“Absolutely not, but they should,” she replied, waving to get the proprietor’s attention. “What do you feel like eating tonight? It’s my treat!”
“Soup is fine.” Si Mok was hungry but health conscious.
“Aww, come on, where’s the fun in that? Let’s order some appetizers, too.”
As they ate the pancakes and chicken skewers they got entangled in a political conversation. It was an occupational hazard.
“It doesn’t make sense to keep going back and forth on this in the media. Both groups should just sit down and make a rational decision. You’re absolutely right.”
“See?! You just get me.” She closed her hand around his.
Yeo Jin tended to get sentimental in the middle of the second beer. Her palms were dry and cool, and the thought struck him that he still wouldn't have minded even if they were hot and moist. It was the strangest thought.
They ate and talked until the owner was almost kicking them out.
“Oooh, it’s a little late for a cab, isn’t it?” She had one hand and a little bit of her weight leaning on his shoulder.
“Yes. They will be few at this hour.” Si Mok didn’t mean to sound like a scold, but he also didn’t know what to say.
“Could you drive me to the subway? I can walk home from my station.”
“Alright,” he replied.
But when the turnoff came, Si Mok kept driving. She was asleep and would never know he never intended to do anything less than drive her all the way home.
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Yeo Jin hadn’t meant to fall asleep in Si Mok’s car and awoke to him gently shaking her shoulder. She wasn’t embarrassed but was concerned she had inconvenienced him. She would be sure to hold back next time. It’s just she was so happy to see him, and she got a little carried away. After sending him off, she dragged herself inside to get ready for bed.
She brushed her teeth. Thump. She washed her face. Thud. She changed into her pajamas. Bump. She poured herself a glass of water and used it to wash down an aspirin. Gallop, gallop, gallop.
Oh. Her heart. She'd slide down the wall onto the floor if her tiny apartment weren’t so cluttered. Never, since her conscious existence, had she felt this way. As she lay in bed, she replayed the evening in her mind. She hadn’t intended to keep touching him or to flirt or drop hints. And she certainly hadn’t meant to fall asleep in his car. Most of all, she never intended to let it get so bad that she was craving the company of someone who had just left. Her eyes felt like there was nothing to look at if not his face. Her hands felt empty and bereft when he wasn’t there to touch. Her ears strained to hear his voice or at least a ping from him on some device. At first, his presence was just a preference, but it had become a necessity. She could still feel the silky locks of his hair slide between her fingers and wondered if his skin was just as soft. His gestures were graceful as he spoke, and his every word so apt: nothing extraneous, never a hidden meaning. He was as committed to justice as the sun was to rising. He was perfect. The only flaw was that he didn’t know it.
Pining. Senior Inspector Han was pining after someone at her mature age. She marveled at her youthful heart. She thought she had grown ambivalent about such things. She’d assumed her overwhelming career had drained any energy she had for something so superfluous as —she didn’t dare say it, even to herself.
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“Text me when you get home,” was her gentle command as she alit from his car. So, he did.
“I’m home. Good night.”
She quickly replied, “Thanks for the ride.”
“Thanks for dinner.”
“Thanks for ordering me a beer.” The text messages flew back and forth like a ping-pong ball.
That last one gave him pause. He wanted to know more about what she had said.
“Was it really that touching?”
“I wish I could explain it.”
“Try.”
“Call me?”
“Hi.” She picked up immediately. “Why do you want me to explain this?”
“I just want to understand. I can’t always read people well, and it might help me to hear your explanation. Think of it as research.”
“Hmm… okay.” Yeo Jin was willing to humor him. She just hoped she wouldn’t let too much slip and burden a colleague with her feelings.
“Have you ever needed something and then bought it for yourself? It’s such a relief to have that need met.”
“Yes, I can think of a few examples.” An apartment near his job. A car so he didn’t have to ride the subway in crowded misery.
“Now, try to imagine you didn’t know you needed it, and someone gave it to you.”
“Ah.” Was she talking about beer anymore?
“Yes.” She couldn’t tell him that more than the beer he ordered for her, it was his thoughtfulness she had craved without knowing.
“That would be surprising in a good way,” he concluded.
“The best surprise,” she replied.
“I should let you go,” he said.
“Alright.” She hoped he couldn’t hear her reluctance.
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After he hung up the phone, Si Mok tried to think of something that fit Yeo Jin's description. He could only think of her warmth, her smile, her touch. He never knew he needed those things before, and now that he had received them, he couldn’t imagine letting them go.