Work Text:
If there ever was a ship that could strike fear into the hearts of most with just its name, that was the Alcor. Its reputation preceded it much like a retreating sea announced a tsunami: any sane person went running for the hills without looking back. Of course, it being a pirate ship was enough to scare off any ordinary citizen, but even the powerful were cautious in approaching it; between its rumored ties to the Liyuen government and Captain Beidou's unforgiving nature, officials and fellow pirates alike tended to give the Alcor's blood-red sails as wide of a berth as they possibly could. And as for any who actually managed to incur the crew's wrath, and found themselves at their mercy... well, suffice it to say that most of them threw themselves to the ground and begged for mercy before the captain could even open her mouth.
Which was why the view in front of Kazuha was so perplexing.
"Prince Makoto of Inazuma," Captain Beidou began, one hand on her hip and the other on her claymore's hilt, "you seem very... relaxed."
The figure sitting on the ground of the holding cell in front of them was unfazed, simply shrugging as best he could with his hands tied behind his back. "Oh, what gave me away?"
Beidou cocked her head to the side, her visible eyebrow rising to her hairline. "You... do realize what's going on, yeah?"
"Who do you take me for?" The prince rolled his eyes. They were the color of a stormy sea. "I've been kidnapped, obviously."
There was a beat of silence. "...And?" Beidou prompted eventually.
"And?" The prince parroted.
More silence.
"Not gonna..." Beidou paused, clearly at a loss for words. "I don't know... beg for your life, or something?"
"Hmm... No, I don't think I will."
At that Beidou finally turned to look at Kazuha, and to anyone else she would've seemed completely unbothered, if not slightly irritated. But Kazuha knew her well enough to recognize the troubled tilt of her lips, and the questioning glint in her eye. It was her way of asking, what do you think of this? without letting anyone watching know that she needed a second opinion.
And, honestly... Kazuha had no idea. The prince's calm demeanor wasn't just a mask; he was completely, absurdly at peace with the current arrangement. His shoulders were relaxed, his legs were stretched out in front of him instead of being tucked against his body, his eyes were clear and his eyebrows raised, as if waiting for the pirates in front of him to say something not with fear but with... genuine curiosity. Or maybe, Kazuha amended upon hearing the sound of fingers drumming against the wooden floor, impatience.
He furrowed his eyebrows, slowly shaking his head at Beidou, and her expression darkened.
"Say," the prince spoke up suddenly, "you knew exactly where to find me, huh? Did someone put you up to this? Who was it?"
"That's confidential, Your Highness," Beidou replied easily, her face smoothing over into a neutral expression.
"Oh come on. I'm guessing I'm headed to whoever commissioned you anyway, why can't you–"
"Contracts are contracts." Beidou shook her head, her tone light but not devoid of danger. "I know you Inazumans aren't as big on those as we are, but surely you've heard of client confidentiality?"
At those words, for some reason... the prince smiled. "That's what I wanted to hear," he said, satisfied and honey-smooth, and the words sent an uneasy chill down Kazuha's spine.
Beidou shifted in place. "What do you–"
"Your client goes by Kunikuzushi." The prince was met with astonished silence, and his smirk widened. "They gave you twenty million upfront, and promised thirty more upon delivery."
How did he... but no, wait. The ease with which they had managed to kidnap him, his calm demeanor... that self-assured grin... "You didn't...?"
The prince chuckled, a proud glint in his eyes. "Captain Beidou, meet your client!"
Beidou's mouth opened and closed for a few times, like a beached fish gasping for water. "You cannot be serious," is what she came up with eventually.
"Oh, I'm dead serious. Hey, you. You with the white hair."
Kazuha snapped to attention, startled by the sudden interest in him. "Yes?"
"Check in my boots."
Kazuha lowered his gaze towards the prince's left boot, which he was now wiggling around. He did find it strange for him to be wearing boots instead of sandals, especially in the summer, but...
With a nod from Beidou Kazuha slipped into the prison cell, quickly shutting the door behind him. He cautiously drew closer to the prince, who simply smirked at him as Kazuha knelt in front of him.
From this close, the prince's beauty was even more apparent. His skin had the pallor and subtle shine of a pearl, and his long hair was akin to ink in the way it smoothly spilled over his slight shoulders. His features were fair and delicate, like a porcelain doll's, but the confidence with which they were animated made them more attractive than pretty; the effect was enhanced by his makeup, by the blush over his cheeks and the striking red around his eyes. His clothes were of the finest silk, white as freshly fallen snow and light as a feather, and yet they were simple enough that they didn't distract from their wearer's natural beauty.
But what truly caught Kazuha's attention were the prince's eyes. With the same color and shine of tanzanite and a piercing sharpness that promised to look into your very soul, they seemed like they would effortlessly captivate whoever dared to gaze into them, and even Kazuha wasn't completely unaffected. The only reason he kept his wits about him was that, deep below the shrewdness and confidence, there was a hint of something darker. Something lonely, and tired.
"Are you done staring?"
Kazuha blinked, fighting back an embarrassed blush as the Prince tilted his head at him. Right, he had gotten... a little carried away. Kazuha shook his head, muttering an apology that went blatantly ignored, then reached for the Prince's ankle and easily slipped off his boot, revealing a pale foot that was definitely too small for it. When he turned the boot upside down and shook it lightly, a small bag hit the floor with a satisfying thud. Kazuha gingerly opened it, and his eyes widened at the sheer amount of mora contained within.
"That's fifteen million, feel free to count them. The remaining fifteen's in my other boot."
"What the shit," Beidou muttered from behind him, and Kazuha couldn't help but agree. "You... why in the Abyss...?"
"Oh, and there's fifty more waiting for you. I mean fifty million, of course."
What.
The captain let out a disbelieving scoff. "Now hold on a minute– Kazuha..."
"He's not lying," he confirmed quietly, staring into those indigo eyes. Said eyes narrowed as the prince tilted his head at him, but he said nothing.
"Another fifty million..." The captain repeated under her breath. Then, louder, "what are your terms?"
The prince's eyes lit up approvingly. "Hm, straight to business. Good. The mora's split up into five groups of ten million each, hidden in various locations that only I am aware of. I will show them to you... but on one condition."
"Well, let's hear it."
"You will allow me to keep traveling with you."
Once again, the prince's words were met with silence. Kazuha... had heard rumors that the prince wasn't all there in the head, but this was... getting himself kidnapped by pirates, just so he could... travel with them...?
As the seconds stretched out into minutes, the prince shifted around, nudging Kazuha's knee with his foot. "Uh, hello?"
"Why?" He asked simply, and the prince let out a sigh like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders.
"Do you have any idea how irritating it is in Tenshukaku? Always, always people flitting about, telling you oh prince don't do this, that isn't allowed, this isn't proper, stand up straight – I'm sick and tired of it, and if I have to get kidnapped by pirates to get a fucking break so be it."
Kazuha had the feeling that that wasn't all there was to it, but also doubted that the prince would elaborate even if prompted. "So... you long for freedom?" He settled on instead.
The prince's mouth opened, then closed with a soft sigh. "I... suppose so," he muttered eventually. "I just..." He trailed off, lips pressing into a thin line.
Silence stretched over them once again, but this time it didn't last long. "I'll think about it," Beidou said, and the prince's head snapped to her. "Kazuha, come on."
He rose to his feet, sending one last glance in the prince's direction before stepping out of the cell and locking the door behind him. He followed the captain upstairs, back to her cabin, and as soon as the door closed behind them she let out one of the deepest sighs Kazuha had ever heard from her.
"So." She turned to look at him, arms crossed in front of her chest. "Opinions?"
"Well, he wasn't lying. Granted, I doubt he was telling the whole truth... but I don't think he's trying to trick us."
Beidou nodded, worrying at her bottom lip. "Yeah, that's the feeling I got as well... but it just feels too good to be true, y'know? I mean seriously, one hundred million to kidnap a prince that wants to be kidnapped?"
Kazuha sighed. "Well, when you put it like that..."
"Still... might be worth the risk, eh Kazuha?"
Kazuha shook his head fondly at the excited glint in Beidou's eye. "We would be set for quite a while..."
"Right! I still need to run this through Drake, but I'm thinking we could let the Prince tag along for a bit... as long as there's someone willing to keep an eye on him, of course."
"And that someone would be me?"
"Yup!" Beidou clapped a hand on his shoulder, and Kazuha barely managed to stay upright. "I won't force you to, obviously, but I think you're the best candidate. You're sharp, perceptive, and I can trust you to keep yourself safe if it comes to blows. Right?"
"Right." Kazuha nodded, offering her a calm, but confident smile. "Honestly, I probably would have asked you to let me watch him either way. He's... intriguing."
Beidou's visible eyebrow shot upwards, an amused smile playing on her lips. "Intriguing, huh? Is that what we're calling it?"
"Wh- Beidou!" Kazuha turned to the side, bringing a hand up to hide his face. "I... I mean, I'd just like to learn more about his reasoning..."
"Hah! Relax, kid, I'm just teasing." She reached out to ruffle his hair, then wrapped an arm around his shoulders as her expression turned more serious. "No, but seriously, Kazuha. If at any point you think you might be in danger just tell me, alright? I know you can handle yourself, but that doesn't mean you gotta do everything on your own. We've all got your back."
Kazuha smiled at that, a familiar warmth settling in his chest at Beidou's concern. "I know, Beidou. Thank you."
---
Predictably, the prince was let out of his cell a few hours later and accompanied to Kazuha's– well, their room. The prince clearly wasn't thrilled at the idea of sharing a room with someone judging by how loudly he complained about it, but Kazuha's flippant comment about how it was either that or the pantry seemed to have convinced him. Kazuha then showed him the room, although there really wasn't much to see; it was just a bunk bed, a small closet and a desk. The prince looked at it all with annoyance and perhaps even vague disgust, but thankfully didn't complain further. Kazuha would take that as a win.
"So that would be all, Prince Makoto. If you have any–"
"No."
Kazuha blinked in confusion as the prince crossed his arms in front of his chest. "No... what?"
"Don't call me that."
"You mean Prince?"
"Or Makoto, unless you want to be pushed overboard."
Kazuha raised an eyebrow. He sure was bold, to make threats like these when he was still on thin ice. "What should I call you, then?"
For a few moments the man hesitated. "...Kunikuzushi, I guess. It's better than nothing, anyway."
That name again... "That's from Kabuki theater, right?"
"W-Well...!" Kunikuzushi scoffed, swiftly ducking his head to stare at the wooden floor. "So what if it is?"
Was he embarrassed? Worried that Kazuha would tease him for it? That was... kind of cute, honestly. "It's an unusual name, but not a bad one. It carries confidence and ambition; both good qualities to have, in moderation at least."
Kunikuzushi further folded into himself, and Kazuha swore his ears were turning the slightest bit pink. "I wasn't looking for your approval."
"I am aware," Kazuha replied easily. "I was simply expressing my opinion, Kunikuzushi."
Kunikuzushi paused, then grumbled something under his breath. He finally looked up to meet Kazuha's gaze – and yes, his cheeks were slightly flushed. It made his bright eyes stand out even more from the pale porcelain of his face. "Whatever, enough with these pointless discussions. The Captain mentioned me having to pull my weight, didn't she? So stop spouting unwanted nonsense and start explaining what I'm supposed to be doing."
Such a sharp tongue... and yet, Kazuha didn't mind it. It would make things interesting, at the very least. As he started explaining to Kunikuzushi what his training was going to look like, he couldn't help but look forward to his company.
---
It turned out that Kunikuzushi was a very fast learner. Not only did he pick up on most things on the fly, but whenever any technical details escaped him he would zero in on them and throw himself at them over and over, relentlessly, until he eventually mastered whatever it was that gave him trouble. It was impressive, honestly, the way he seemed to run on a mixture of ambition and spite.
As not only his roommate but also his main instructor, Kazuha ended up spending a lot of time with the escaped prince. At first things were fairly awkward; Kunikuzushi clearly wasn't one for meaningless chatter, and his straightforwardness often bordered on plain cruelty. Furthermore, any greetings or similar pleasantries from Kazuha were sidestepped and ignored. Kazuha could at least take solace in the fact that Kunikuzushi treated the whole crew like that, not just him; he didn't know what he would have done if it turned out that Kunikuzushi had a sort of personal vendetta against him. As of now, though, he was simply glad to have a thick skin.
Still, despite his unpleasantness he was at least a man of his word; when the Alcor reached the first location indicated by Kunikuzushi they were pleased to find exactly ten millions, innocently waiting for them inside a small box buried under a maple tree. As the team that had gone out to retrieve it returned to the ship, Kunikuzushi had simply smirked and said, "now do you trust me?"
Beidou's answer had been "almost definitely", which seemed to have raised Kunikuzushi's spirits a fair amount, as he had simply smirked, dipped into an irreverent bow and disappeared below deck. Kazuha hadn't followed him, instead helping the rest of the crew plan out their next move; the only problem being that he was supposed to meet with Kunikuzushi half an hour ago to teach him some new knots, and now he couldn't find him anywhere. He sighed, swiftly climbing up to the crow's nest. He doubted he'd find him up there, but perhaps–
He paused as a familiar head of dark hair came into view. Well nevermind then. He cleared his throat to announce his presence (even though it probably wasn't necessary; Kunikuzushi seemed to have very sharp senses), then slipped into the crow's nest beside Kunikuzushi.
The man turned to look at him, and Kazuha's brain froze. Kunikuzushi's long hair was gone, cut short a little past his cheekbones, with only a few longer strands covering the nape of his neck. His elegant clothes – which he had so far insisted on wearing despite their impracticality – had been replaced by a plain shirt and a pair of pants that was slightly too long, tucked into cracked leather boots. It was strange, to see someone who usually seemed so ethereal and otherworldly looking so... normal. And yet there was something about him...
"What're you looking at, Kaedehara?"
...It was his expression. It was so open, so relaxed, as if an unbearable weight had finally been lifted off his shoulders. His normally furrowed eyebrows were slightly raised as he waited for Kazuha's answer, and his often-pouting lips were curved upwards in a subtle smile. His eyes were glinting with a sort of deep satisfaction, the kind of gratifying relief that comes with knowing that you're exactly where you want to be. A strong wind whipped around them, and Kunikuzushi raised a hand to bat away a few rebellious strands of hair, rolling his eyes in annoyance when he realized they were now a little too short to be kept in place.
He looked free. Content. And so incredibly, breathtakingly beautiful.
Kazuha smiled, reaching out to tuck a couple of those strands behind Kunikuzushi's ear. "Freedom looks good on you," he explained simply.
Kunikuzushi flushed, stammering as he lightly slapped Kazuha's hand away. And yet he didn't leave, instead grumbling about how stupidly poetic Kazuha was and about unnecessary flattery. Their task forgotten, the two ended up simply chatting the afternoon away inside the crow's nest, exchanging anecdotes and literary recommendations and the occasional teasing remark. It was... pleasant, to finally be able to talk with Kunikuzushi so freely. It made a content, fuzzy feeling settle into Kazuha's chest, painting his lips into a wide grin as Kunikuzushi elbowed him in the stomach for not sharing his opinion on an old Noh play. At some point they even gravitated closer, sitting shoulder to shoulder under the slowly setting sun.
Looking back, that may have been the beginning.
---
The two steadily grew closer over the course of the following weeks. Kunikuzushi's comments gradually became slightly less sharp, and his expression softened more easily. Sometimes he even laughed openly, and he did so with his whole body, throwing his head back and raising a hand to his lips as his shoulders shook uncontrollably. Now, every time Kazuha snuffed out the candle in their room, there was always a quiet "goodnight" coming from the bed above his. They also sparred together quite often, since while Kunikuzushi had received an excellent education in that regard he lacked some hands-on experience, and Kazuha couldn't deny the tension that came with dancing around each other's bodies and their swords meeting violently.
Of course, the others noticed, and that came with no small amount of wiggling eyebrows and teasing looks thrown in Kazuha's direction, and no matter how much Kazuha insisted they were simply friends he was pretty sure at least half the crew thought they were... intimate.
And, well. As embarrassing as it was to be teased like that, Kazuha... didn't mind that idea. At all. In fact, he even found himself fantasizing about it from time to time, wondering whether Kunikuzushi's hair was as soft as it looked, or what his lips would taste like... what would it be like to fall asleep next to him? Would he want to hold Kazuha in his arms, or would he prefer to be held instead?
...Suffice it to say that Kazuha was becoming very attracted to Kunikuzushi very fast. And it wasn't just because of his looks; Kunikuzushi was absurdly beautiful, that was an indisputable truth, but what had truly captured Kazuha's heart was his soul. His ambition, his shrewdness, his brutal honesty. His unexpected gentleness, as rare as it was memorable; the sight of Kunikuzushi carefully nursing Little Yue's bleeding nose after he tripped and fell face-first on the deck, as well as the comforting hug that came after, would forever be engraved in Kazuha's mind. And it was because of those exact qualities that Kazuha slowly grew to love him.
It was a slow process, subtle in a way that made Kazuha unsure as to when exactly he reached the tipping point. He did remember exactly when he realized, though; the crew had been throwing a party in Kunikuzushi's honor, courtesy of him safely leading them to another ten million; both Kazuha and Kunikuzushi had drunk a little, not enough to lose their wits but enough to dust their cheeks with pink and make them just a little looser than normal. Kazuha remembered Kunikuzushi eventually falling asleep on his shoulder, expression relaxed and lips parted, and all Kazuha could think about for the following twenty minutes or so was how badly he wanted to kiss him.
So yes, Kazuha was head over heels for him, that much was obvious. The only reason he hadn't said anything yet was because he wanted it to be a meaningful moment, not just an off-handed remark. And, honestly... a part of him was a little scared. Kunikuzushi obviously liked his company, but even though Kazuha had occasionally caught him staring he wasn't sure whether Kunikuzushi had any real interest in him. So he decided to wait a bit, and see how things went.
Little did he know that things would take a turn very, very quickly.
On the surface, it was an evening like any other. Kunikuzushi was slightly more jittery than usual, perhaps, but when Kazuha asked whether something was wrong he had immediately denied it. They had quietly gotten ready for the night, but right as Kazuha was about to slip under the covers–
"Say, Kazuha?"
Kazuha paused, turning to look at Kunikuzushi from over his shoulder. "Yes?"
"Do you..." Kunikuzushi hesitated, drumming his fingers over his crossed arm, "have... anyone?"
"What do you mean?"
Kunikuzushi scoffed, turning his head slightly to stare at the wall. "You know, like... a partner. A romantic one."
Kazuha straightened up and turned to look at Kunikuzushi properly, mentally shushing his heart when it picked up its pace. "No, I don't."
Kunikuzushi looked at him, seeming genuinely surprised. "Seriously?"
"Yes, seriously."
"But you're..." Kunikuzushi trailed off, gesturing vaguely at Kazuha. "I mean... are you not interested in those kinds of things?"
"Oh no, I am," Kazuha corrected him swiftly. He wouldn't want to give him the wrong impression, after all. "I simply haven't been interested in anyone lately." With one glaring exception, but... the time wasn't right quite yet.
Kunikuzushi hummed, then, a pleased glint in his eyes. "That's good to hear," he said, and then stepped closer to Kazuha. Kazuha instinctively took a step back, but Kunikuzushi only walked closer, and closer, and closer still, until Kazuha found himself with his back pressed against the wall, heart pounding in his chest.
"K-Kuni...?"
"Kazuha," Kunikuzushi whispered, planting his hands at the sides of Kazuha's head. "If you don't want this, stop me."
"I–"
Kunikuzushi kissed him.
It took a few moments for Kazuha to understand that. There was Kunikuzushi surging forward, his arms bending to cage him in. There were his lips pressing against Kazuha's, soft and careful. Then there was Kunikuzushi drawing back, his eyes opening slowly, hesitantly, and it was only then that Kazuha understood.
Without thinking, Kazuha raised his hands to cup Kunikuzushi's cheeks and draw him back in. There was a muffled yelp, then a quiet sigh as Kunikuzushi melted against him. His lips moved somewhat clumsily, but eagerly; he was clearly inexperienced, and Kazuha couldn't help but find that very endearing. He opened his mouth into the kiss and pushed his tongue against Kunikuzushi's lips; the man hesitated for only a second before parting his lips, and he groaned softly as Kazuha eagerly explored his mouth.
Gods, he was kissing Kunikuzushi. He was kissing Kunikuzushi. As they parted to catch their breath, Kazuha couldn't help but giggle in delight. His heart was so full of joyful disbelief that he felt just about ready to burst.
"Wh-What're you laughing at?" Kunikuzushi stammered. His cheeks were painted a bright red, and his lips were slightly puffy where Kazuha had pushed against them. Once more, Kazuha could only laugh at the sight, his head spinning slightly. I did that.
The laughter turned into a gasp as Kunikuzushi dipped lower, his lips landing on Kazuha's bare neck. He shivered as Kunikuzushi placed a few experimental kisses here and there, then lightly bit down on the hollow of his throat. Kazuha had to slap a hand over his mouth to keep any embarrassing noises from slipping out, and it was Kunikuzushi's turn to laugh, soft and breathless against Kazuha's skin. Then one of Kunikuzushi's hands started trailing lower, and lower...
Kazuha froze as he realized what Kunikuzushi was about to do. "W-Wait...!"
Kunikuzushi stopped, hand still firmly planted on Kazuha's lower stomach. He pulled back slightly, gazing up at Kazuha through half-lidded eyes. "What?"
Kazuha's body immediately protested at the pause, but he forced himself to gather his wits, at least for a moment. This was... moving very quickly, and they hadn't talked about it at all. He only wanted to be safe. "Kunikuzushi... what does this mean to you?"
Kunikuzushi hummed, resting his forehead against Kazuha's shoulder. "What is it supposed to mean? I think it's pretty obvious."
"What I meant is, why are you doing this? Why me?"
With a groan, Kunikuzushi rose to his full height. "As the prince, I was never allowed to have relationships or be intimate with anyone," he muttered reluctantly. "So now that I don't have my mother breathing down my neck anymore, I want to try."
Kazuha waited. He waited for Kunikuzushi to elaborate, to say that he was interested in Kazuha, that he wanted to pursue a relationship with him. But Kunikuzushi remained silent, simply looking at Kazuha expectantly.
"Is..." Kazuha paused to take a deep breath, hoping to stifle the fear that was slowly creeping up his spine. "Is that... the only reason?"
For a moment Kunikuzushi hesitated, and Kazuha allowed himself to hope. But that was a mistake, because in the end Kunikuzushi simply shrugged. "We get along well, and you're attractive."
In any other situation, Kazuha's heart would have soared at the compliment. Now, though, he swore he could feel it shattering.
"Kazuha? What's wrong?"
Kunikuzushi looked so eager, and Kazuha, too, longed to feel Kunikuzushi's lips on his skin again, to switch their positions and press him against the wall, to worship him until Kunikuzushi was reduced to a speechless, blubbering mess. But knowing that he didn't reciprocate his feelings, that this new development in their relationship could only be physical...
"I'm sorry," Kazuha muttered, bowing his head both to apologize and to blink away a few tears. "I can't."
"Huh...? What do you mean, you can't? We were just–"
"I know, but... I... I don't feel comfortable doing this if there are no feelings attached."
Kunikuzushi scoffed incredulously. "You seemed perfectly fine with this a few moments ago–"
Kunikuzushi cut himself off with a quiet gasp, and Kazuha's heart sank. Oh. Oh no.
There was a hand under his chin, slowly pushing it upwards. Kazuha couldn't find it in him to resist and allowed Kunikuzushi to look at him in the eyes, his gaze filled with an emotion Kazuha couldn't quite name.
"Kazuha, you... are you...?"
"Kuni, please, I..."
"You're in love with me."
Kazuha didn't have the strength to answer.
Kunikuzushi moved away, and Kazuha felt nauseous. "I... I see," Kunikuzushi muttered, his voice uncertain. He turned his head away, biting at his bottom lip. "I'm sorry."
Oh. "I-It's alright," Kazuha stammered, clearing his throat to try to lessen that choking, burning feeling. "It's not your fault. I... I should have stopped you earlier."
"I should've asked, I–"
"It's fine, really, I–" Kazuha barely held back a sob. "I'm sorry, I need a moment."
He bolted out the door, and Kunikuzushi didn't stop him.
Kazuha barely made it to the communal bathroom before he broke down sobbing. He knelt on the hard wooden floor, pressing his forehead against it. It hurt. It hurt. He swore his heart had been ripped out of his chest and trampled upon. He'd say it had been cruelly crushed, but he couldn't. Not when Kunikuzushi had no idea what Kazuha's true feelings were. He didn't mean to hurt him, he knew that, but it didn't lessen the pain, nor did it stop his tears from flowing.
Fuck. Fuck. He shouldn't have said anything– why did he stop him? Why? Knowing that Kunikuzushi didn't reciprocate his feelings would have hurt regardless, yes, but now... now he had the sneaking, ice-cold suspicion that things would never return to how they were. That something between them had broken irreparably.
It took him a while to compose himself, to shove the pain where it couldn't reach his heart as easily. He washed his face, fixed his hair, took several long breaths to relax his muscles and gather his courage.
When he returned to their room, it was quiet. The single candle illuminated the space just enough to make out a small figure, bundled up under the covers of the top bunk. Kunikuzushi's breaths were too quick for him to be asleep, but he didn't stir as Kazuha quietly closed the door behind him and slipped into his own bed.
Kazuha snuffed out the candle. "Good night," he called softly, his voice still rough from crying.
There was no response.
---
As he thought, things weren't the same after that.
It wasn't like they stopped talking completely – they still shared a room, after all, and Kunikuzushi had quite a bit more to learn when it came to sailing – but their every conversation was quiet, stilted. Any attempt at an exchange that went beyond whose turn it was in the bathroom or how to lower the sails shriveled up quickly, fading into a tense silence. Kunikuzushi avoided his eyes like the plague, stopped touching his shoulder to catch his attention and turned to simply clearing his throat. They even stopped sparring, and the first time Kazuha saw him crossing blades with Furong instead filled him with such raging jealousy that it scared him. Even the most minuscule or inconsequential action that Kazuha had previously taken for granted now left a hole in Kazuha's chest with its absence, a void that burned and burned and burned.
Once again, this caught the whole crew's attention. The previously teasing looks turned worried, the pats on his back became more comforting. Beidou even kidnapped him to her cabin at one point.
"Spill," she had said simply, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
Kazuha had only smiled at her. "Spill what?"
"Ugh, stop playing dumb, will you? Something obviously happened between you and little Kuni. Do you need me to kick his ass?"
Kazuha had let out a startled laugh at that, quickly shaking his head. "No, no, there's no need for that. What happened wasn't anyone's fault, we just... need to work through it."
Beidou had raised an eyebrow. "No offense, kid, but what's been happening lately doesn't look like 'working though it.' At all."
"I know, I just..." Kazuha had sighed. "We'll... figure it out. We just need a little more time."
"...If you say so."
---
As it turned out, they may not have that much time.
"It's a Shogunate ship," said Liushi as he landed on the deck. "Flying the Kujou crest, too. Headed straight for us."
Beidou swore under her breath, placing her hands on her hips. "Okay. How's their speed?"
"Slightly faster than ours. It might take a couple of days, but they'll catch up eventually if we keep going like this."
"...No point in dragging this out, then. Hey, Little Yue, go get Uncle Kuni and tell him that there's a Kujou ship – Kujou, you got that? Show him your favorite spot so you two can hide real well, okay?"
"Aye aye, Captain Beidou!"
Having lowered their sails, it didn't take long for the Shogunate ship to reach them. Soon enough a group of soldiers stepped on the Alcor's deck, captained by a tall woman who moved with the kind of confidence that only comes with years and years of experience. Even though Kazuha hadn't stepped foot in Inazuma in a while now, he still easily recognized Kujou Sara's striking golden eyes.
Said eyes briefly settled on Kazuha, but whether she recognized him as an acquaintance or only as an Inazuman was unclear. Either way, she quickly shifted her attention to Beidou, dipping her head into a nod. "Captain Beidou of the Alcor," she began in that steely cold tone of hers, "a pleasure to make your acquaintance. I am General Kujou Sara of the Tenryou Commission."
"The pleasure's mine, General," Beidou replied with an easy-going smile. "What brings you here, hm? Can we help you with anything?"
Kujou's expression remained unreadable. "You may have heard that our prince has gone missing."
"Hm... that I have. We stopped by Ritou just a couple of days ago, you see, it was all the locals would talk about."
"Would you happen to know anything about that, Captain?"
"Nope," Beidou answered, popping the p. "I mean, I heard some people say he may have run away, but I'm no expert on Inazuman politics, you know? Can't say how likely that is."
"I heard that as well," Kujou began, and Kazuha did not like the way her tone tilted upwards, as if preparing for something. "However, I recently heard... another rumor. A rather interesting one, in fact."
"Oh yeah?"
"It would seem that Prince Makoto is currently in the company of pirates."
Ah. There it was.
"Really now? Pirates?" Kazuha had never been so grateful for Beidou's excellent acting skills; she sounded genuinely surprised, a hand rising to idly stroke her chin. "Hm... that's news to me. Any other lead, General? I may be able to help... for a price, of course, but I'm sure we can settle that later."
"The Alcor."
Beidou blinked. "What about us?"
"No use playing dumb, Captain," Kujou snapped. "We know he's here. You have one of your crewmates to thank for that."
Shit. How had Kazuha not noticed anyone acting strangely? Had his discussion with Kunikuzushi really distracted him that much?
"Now, how about this: either you bring him here and let me talk to him, or we make our way below deck and look for him ourselves. With force."
Beidou's expression soured. "...Furong, go get him."
It didn't take long before Furong returned, Kunikuzushi sourly trailing behind her. Kazuha couldn't help but feel a sharp spike of anxiety, which was only mildly soothed when Kunikuzushi's eyes immediately darted to Kazuha's before settling over Kujou Sara.
"General," he acknowledged, cold as ice.
"Prince Makoto," she returned, just as glacial.
"I go by Kunikuzushi now, actually."
In the first show of emotion since she stepped foot on the Alcor, Kujou's eye twitched. "...Prince Kunikuzushi. Your mother is very worried about you."
"Alright."
A few beats of silence, tense as a bowstring. "She has asked me to escort you home," Kujou elaborated eventually.
Kunikuzushi crossed his arms in front of his chest. "I am here of my own free will, General. I have no intention of returning home." He spit out the last word as if it was poisonous.
Kujou's following sigh had an exasperated edge to it. "Your Highness, your responsibilities–"
"Responsibilities? Responsibilities?" Kunikuzushi barked out an incredulous laugh. "Oh, so now she wants to talk about responsibilities? And what would those be, exactly? Being married off to some random noblewoman I've never even met? Or maybe being completely stripped of my birthright?"
Kujou's jaw clenched. "With all due respect, Your Highness, this is not something you should be discussing with me. If you could simply come with me–"
"Fuck off, Kujou."
Kujou scoffed under her breath. At a twitch of her fingers, the soldiers backing her unsheathed their weapons. "Then I'm afraid I will have to drag you back by force."
As Kunikuzushi unsheathed his sword, Kazuha's hand immediately went to the hilt of his own. Kunikuzushi knew how to fight, he had seen that firsthand, but he wasn't as experienced as most people in the army were; against fighters that trained as relentlessly as the Shogunate samurai did, he would not stand much of a chance. He'd have to be quick, to protect him as he moved him to a safer place.
"General Kujou Sara," Beidou boomed, casually swinging her greatsword as she adjusted her grip on it. "I'll have you know that Kunikuzushi is officially part of our crew. And messing with one of us means messing with everyone."
Kujou was unmoved. "So be it, then. Men!"
Chaos erupted. Kazuha immediately tried to reach Kuni, but one of Kujou's men jumped at him before he could do so. In the time it took Kazuha to slash his throat, Kunikuzushi had already disappeared.
Kazuha gritted his teeth, pushing his way through the clashing of bodies and weapons, desperately searching for those familiar dark locks. He moved swiftly, cutting down his opponents without much thought. He didn't like killing, but if he had a reason to he would do so without hesitation. And Kunikuzushi's safety was more than reason enough.
"Let go of me!"
There. Kazuha bolted, jumping over a lifeless body as he zeroed in on Kunikuzushi's voice. There he was – surrounded by three men, two of them holding him by the arms as the third wrenched the sword out of his grip. Kunikuzushi kicked and thrashed, insults and profanities relentlessly spilling from his lips as the men started to drag him away.
Kazuha let his instincts take over as he rushed forward, sword drawn. One of the men swore, letting go of Kunikuzushi's arm to reach for his sword, but Kazuha easily cut his arm off with a single swing. The man bent over in half, screaming as he clutched what was left of his arm to his chest, but Kazuha quickly silenced him. Kunikuzushi immediately took advantage of that by using his newly freed hand to sock the other soldier restraining him in the face. The man stumbled, momentarily blinded by pain, and Kazuha did not hesitate to finish him off. One more–
The air shifted, and Kazuha threw himself to the side. A sharp blade nicked his cheek, barely missing his ear. Kazuha swiftly turned, swinging at the soldier's now-exposed side, and sighed as the body hit the floor with a thud.
"Kazuha!"
Kazuha's heart swelled in relief upon hearing Kunikuzushi's voice, clear and steady as always. He fought the urge to rush forward and hold him tightly against his chest, instead simply smiling at him as Kunikuzushi adjusted his grip on his newly recovered sword and made his way back to Kazuha.
"Are you alright?" Kunikuzushi asked, eyebrows furrowing as he pointed at his own cheek. "You're bleeding."
"It's just a scratch, don't worry. How about you? Did they hurt you?"
"Eh, it's fine." Kunikuzushi briefly poked at his ribs, frowning as his body reflexively tensed. "I'll probably bruise, but I didn't break anything. Hah, some way to treat their prince. But forget that, let's keep– look out!"
Something buried itself in Kazuha's back. He lowered his gaze, and saw the point of a sword emerging from his stomach. It didn't hurt. That... wasn't good.
"Kazuha! Kujou, you fucking piece of shit, how dare you–"
The sword was drawn back, and Kazuha's body gave up on him. He collapsed, crumpling on the wooden floor like a marionette with its strings cut, and that was when the pain hit.
He curled in on himself, a pained whine escaping his lips as he pressed down on the wound. He could already feel warm blood seeping through his clothes, staining his hands red. Someone was screaming above him – he was fairly sure it was Kunikuzushi, although his voice kept getting drowned out by the chaos around them and the screech of metal against metal. He yelled Kujou's name – was she the one that stabbed him? Was he fighting her right now? That was a terrible idea.
"Kuni," he called out, but his voice came out pathetically low. He tried to get up, but his body wasn't cooperating. He just needed to... to what? He couldn't fight like this. Beidou? Where was Beidou? He tried to call for her, but as he inhaled a sudden stabbing pain overwhelmed him, making him collapse on the floor once again. Alright. Alright, deep breaths, he could crawl if he had to. It would be fine. He just had to–
A piercing scream, one that made the blood freeze in his veins.
Kuni.
He sounded so– in so much pain–
No... no, no, no. This couldn't be happening. It couldn't. Kazuha forced himself to his knees, ignoring the way his body wailed in protest. His vision swam, the world tilting dangerously to the side before suddenly righting itself. He fought to get his legs under him – he had to get to Kuni, he was hurt–
"–zuha?" A distant voice. Hands on his arms. "Holy shit, Kazuha! Fuck, kid, what–"
Beidou. She was here. What a relief. "Bei- dou, Kuni's hurt... y-you have to..."
Strong hands pressing down on his stomach. "Fuck– Kazuha, hey, stay with me, okay? We'll get Kuni, don't worry, just keep your eyes open–"
But they felt so heavy.
"I know, I know, but you gotta, okay? It's almost over, we're pushing them back–"
Oh. Good. "Fight's... over?"
"Yeah, almost–"
"You okay...?"
A laugh, maybe. Kazuha couldn't hear it very clearly. "Gods, kid, do you ever worry about yourself? I'm fine, just a little banged up, but nothing big. Don't you worry."
Thank goodness. Kazuha felt the tension leave his body, allowing his eyes to close with a sigh. Beidou was fine... but no, Kuni–
"Shit– hey, hey, stay still–"
"Kuni...!"
"He's– he'll be okay, don't worry, but you have to stay still, you'll make things worse– shit, where the fuck is Yinxing? Yinxing!"
Kazuha had opened his eyes, and yet found them slipping shut once again, his vision darkening at the edges. He felt... weird. Fuzzy. It didn't hurt as much anymore.
A hand settled on his head, big and strong and comforting, and Kazuha allowed himself to let go.
---
When he woke up, it was to the strong scent of chemicals and a hand grasping his own. He groaned quietly, trying to blink away the fog clinging to his brain. Where was he...? This scent, mixed with a more herbal one... The infirmary?
"Kazuha...?"
That voice...! "Kuni!" Kazuha attempted to sit up, but a blinding stab of pain to the stomach forced him back on the mattress. "A-Are you..."
"Hey, hey, take it easy," a new voice piped up. Kazuha blinked as Yinxing entered his field of vision, gently slipping a hand under his upper back to help him sit. As she did so, though, Kazuha could feel the hand holding his own slipping away.
"Ah, wait!"
Kunikuzushi didn't stop, simply rushed out the door. Kazuha couldn't even catch a glimpse of his face.
"Don't be upset with him, Kaz," Yinxing said softly as she helped him rest against some propped-up pillows. "He's just... well, he'd probably prefer it if you didn't see him right now."
"Huh? Why?"
"He's..." Yinxing hesitated as she poured him a glass of water. "He was wounded pretty badly. He's fine," she added swiftly when Kazuha froze up, "but he probably doesn't want to upset you."
"But–"
"Let's focus on you first, okay?" Yinxing said as she pushed the glass to his lips. "Drink, and then we can check your bandages. You lost a lot of blood, but thankfully Kujou didn't hit any vitals, so even though you'll need a lot of bedrest and physical therapy you'll be able to make a full recovery, don't worry."
That was a relief, at least. But still, Kazuha couldn't help but think back on that awful, bone-chilling scream. Just how badly was Kunikuzushi injured, for him to fear upsetting him just by showing his face...?
The door slammed open violently, making both Kazuha and Yinxing flinch. "Kazuha!"
"Captain, gods above, don't scare us like that..."
Yinxing trailed off as Beidou sidestepped her, then immediately wrapped Kazuha into a gentle hug. "Kid, holy shit, I'm so glad you're okay–"
"Captain, please watch his wounds–"
"I know, I know, don't worry–"
"Beidou, are you... crying?"
Beidou sniffled loudly. "No clue what you're talking about."
After a lot of hugs and just as many tears, Beidou eventually settled on a chair as Yinxing changed Kazuha's bandages. Kazuha was gradually starting to feel more clear-minded, which of course meant he had a lot of questions.
He decided to start with an easy one. "How long was I out?"
"Nine days," Yinxing replied lightly as she gave the bandages a gentle tug. "You gave us quite a scare, let me tell you. You ran a high fever the first few days, and you kept drifting in and out of consciousness."
"Really? I don't remember that at all."
"That's not surprising, you were really out of it."
Kazuha nodded slowly. "What about everyone else?"
"No casualties, thank the gods," Beidou said with a sigh. "Some were worse off than others, but overall? We were lucky. Could've been a lot worse."
"What about Kuni?"
The two women exchanged bittersweet smiles, and Kazuha felt like they were communicating something along the lines of "told you so". "I discharged him three days ago," Yinxing said after that moment had passed. "He was in the bed right next to yours... he was a real hassle, as soon as I turned my back on him he'd sneak over and sit here with you, even though he was supposed to stay put."
Kazuha felt his cheeks heat up. As embarrassing as it was to have Kunikuzushi fret over him like that, it also felt... really good. "Did he really?"
"Yyyup," Beidou dragged out with a roll of her eyes. "And even after Yinxing let him go, he barely left your side. Only came out to eat and use the bathroom; every night he grabbed that chair over there, dragged it to your bed and just... faceplanted on the mattress. Oh, and he's the one who called me just now, you know? You should've seen his face, kid, he looked so relieved I thought he might start crying right there and then."
Kunikuzushi... crying? Because of him?
"So what I'm trying to say is, that guy is–"
"Captain..." Yinxing cut in with a warning tone.
"Uh..." Beidou hesitated, blinking owlishly at Yinxing. "That guy adores you, is what I was going to say."
They were obviously hiding something, but Kazuha couldn't bring himself to care. Adore. Kazuha smiled, bringing his hands to his chest to settle them over his heart. He had been fairly certain that Kunikuzushi still cared about him despite their... issue, simply because he wanted to believe that their bond, although frayed, couldn't be cut so easily; still, to hear it confirmed so plainly... it made his heart sing with joy. Even if Kunikuzushi didn't reciprocate his feelings, just being able to stand by his side and bask in the care he had for Kazuha... that would be more than enough.
Once Yinxing finished checking up on him Beidou more or less chased her out of the room, apparently disapproving of how long she had gone without sleep – which was not surprising, Yinxing was known for pushing herself too hard a little too often. As the medic reluctantly stepped out of the infirmary, waving over her shoulder, Beidou took a seat at the now unoccupied chair by Kazuha's bed.
For a moment she just stared at him, expression soft. She then reached out with a quirk of her lips, gently ruffling his hair. "I know I said this before, but I'm so relieved you pulled through, kid."
Kazuha allowed himself to relax under the touch, letting out a content sigh. "And I'm glad everything turned out alright. Although..."
"Yeah?"
"I'm guessing... they'll be back?"
"Hm, well, in theory. Kujou Sara only retreated, after all; there were no negotiations or anything, so it's fair to assume they won't give up that easily. That said..." She smirked, an amused glint to her eye. "I could always pull some strings."
Kazuha snorted in a mix of amusement and relief. This was not the first time Beidou "pulled some strings", and it certainly wouldn't be the last. "You mean you'll ask Ningguang to pull some strings."
Beidou cackled, leaning her head backwards. "Guilty as charged. But enough about that! You must be starving, huh? I'll go get you some food, maybe some fish... ah, nevermind, I think you're still stuck with soup for now..."
"Beidou... thank you."
Beidou smiled at him, briefly pulling him into a hug before rising to her feet. "Of course, Kazuha. Family's gotta look out for each other, right?"
Family... how strange it was, for a word to go from carrying only anxiety and regret to feeling so comforting. "Right."
---
The rest of the day passed by painfully slowly. The infirmary was deserted, barring a couple other crew members who briefly stopped by to visit him and Yinxing popping in a few hours later to check on him again, although she made him swear on his name he wouldn't tell Beidou. He still wasn't allowed to leave his bed, and as exasperating as it was Kazuha recognized that he probably wouldn't be able to take more than two steps without immediately keeling over. At least he was brought some of his poetry books, which he ended up paging through idly as the afternoon turned into night.
Sleep didn't come easily. He found himself staring at the low ceiling, unable to stop his mind from drifting. Mostly about how Kunikuzushi still hadn't come to visit him.
And then, right in the dead of night, the door creaked open. A small sliver of light cut through the room, courtesy of the oil lamp his visitor was carrying. Kazuha squinted at the figure in the doorway; only the left side of their face was visible, but Kazuha could still make out pale skin and short, dark hair–
"Kuni?"
Kunikuzushi froze. "You're awake?"
"Yes... please, come in." Please. I missed you so much these last few days. I want to talk to you. I want to make sure you're okay.
Kunikuzushi almost stepped in, but hesitated at the last moment. "Just... promise you won't freak out, okay?"
This again... Kazuha's heartbeat immediately picked up as he struggled to sit upright. "I promise. Let me see you, Kuni."
Kunikuzushi breathed deeply, then stepped into the room.
The entire right side of his face was covered in bandages. Kazuha felt his stomach sink, fear flooding his lungs. "What happened...?"
Kunikuzushi sighed, taking a seat in the chair next to Kazuha's bed and placing the lamp on his bedside table. "Kujou got us good," he said lightly, his lips twisting into a humorless smile. "I admit, I didn't fight well. I was too... emotional. She was clearly expecting me to put up a better fight, because she was as surprised as I was when she sliced right through my eyeball."
Oh. "Y-Your eye?"
"Yeah..." Kunikuzushi grimaced, raising a hand to pick at the bandages on his cheekbone. "Right now, I can't see anything from it; some of my vision might come back with time, but apparently it's very unlikely I will make a full recovery. I'll probably have to start wearing an eyepatch soon."
Guilt, cold and familiar, settled in Kazuha's gut. "Kuni..."
Somehow, Kunikuzushi managed to smirk. "Hey, that just means I can fully lean into the pirate aesthetic now, huh?"
...It really wasn't funny, but he was grateful to Kunikuzushi for trying to lighten up the mood, for chasing away those dark thoughts before they had the chance to take root in Kazuha's mind. Now, the short-lived fury and grief quietly made way for concern. "Does it hurt?"
"Not anymore, no."
Kazuha nodded, reaching out but pausing before he could make contact, sending Kunikuzushi a questioning look. The man only hesitated for a moment before nodding once, and Kazuha cautiously rested his hand on Kunikuzushi's bandaged cheek, smiling softly at the way Kunikuzushi leaned into the touch with a sigh.
"I'm sorry for not being able to protect you."
"Don't be fucking stupid," Kunikuzushi grumbled, which managed to rip a laugh out of Kazuha. "It's not your fault, that was on me for not choosing my battles. It's just... When you fell, I... I saw red. All I could think about was, how dare you. How dare you try to take him away from me."
Despite the suffocating guilt, Kazuha selfishly felt flattered. He could feel his heart pounding, foolish and senseless. "Kuni–"
Kunikuzushi suddenly grabbed Kazuha's wrist, moving Kazuha's hand to press it against his own lips. Kazuha couldn't help but shiver at the feeling. "I'm just... fuck, Kazuha, I'm so happy you're okay," he breathed against Kazuha's palm. "If anything had happened to you..."
Kazuha stared, speechless, as tears started to gather in Kunikuzushi's eye. "It's alright," he whispered, feeling particularly foolish. "Kuni, it's alright. We're okay."
Kunikuzushi nodded, and then he pressed a kiss on the palm of Kazuha's hand. Kazuha's heart did a confused little somersault. "I know, but... shit, I was... terrified. I've never felt so much fear in my whole life, Kazuha."
"I'm so–"
"Don't you dare apologize."
Kazuha laughed awkwardly as Kunikuzushi blinked away his tears, then took a deep breath. "I'm sorry," Kunikuzushi said quietly. "For... how things went. You know. That one time."
Of course, there was no need to be more specific. Kazuha simply nodded, giving Kunikuzushi a reassuring smile. "It's alright, it wasn't anyone's fault. We–"
"I shouldn't have rushed in like that. I should've actually talked to you about it, instead of just... jumping you. It was all I could think about these last few days, y'know. I kept thinking, what if the last real conversation the two of us would ever have ended up being... that? I never would've been able to forgive myself." Kunikuzushi took a steadying breath, then slowly moved away from Kazuha's hand. "I... well, I did a lot of thinking. About how things went down, and... yeah. Uh, anyway, I get it if you don't want to talk about that now, you've been awake for barely half a day, so if you–"
"Kuni, it's okay." Kazuha took Kunikuzushi's hand into his own, giving it a gentle squeeze before letting it drop. "Tell me. I want to talk about it, too."
"Okay." Another deep breath. "Okay. I... yeah. Okay."
Kunikuzushi's hands curled into the fabric of his pants, and it was then that Kazuha realized that they had started to shake. "Are you–"
"I think I'm in love with you."
For a few moments, Kazuha simply... stared at him. He understood the words, but their meaning... there was no way. He'd say it had to be a joke, but Kunikuzushi wouldn't be this cruel. He wouldn't. So...
"P-Please say something, Kazuha."
"Are you..." Kazuha paused, scrambling for the right words to express his thoughts. None of them seemed even remotely appropriate, but he supposed he would simply have to try. "If you're only saying that to make me feel better–"
"No!"
They both paused at Kunikuzushi's tone, and the man flushed lightly as he bowed his head. "No, I... I mean... Okay. Okay, just let me explain."
Kazuha nodded, swallowing down a sudden wave of nervousness and disbelief and soft, tentative hope. "Please do."
"I... I don't know what being in love is like," Kunikuzushi began softly, a hand rising to his chest. "Rather, I know what it's like in theory, but I've never experienced it myself. But I... whenever I talk to you, I get this... weird feeling in my stomach, this gnawing, burning thing. And when you talk to other people, all I can think about is how I wish you were talking to me instead. I want you to stay close to me, I want you to... touch me, but I also want you to be happy and free. But then I also get upset if you're not close to me. I-I'm not saying you have to stick by my side all the time, obviously, that would be weird as hell for me to ask, I'm just trying to say that it's... it doesn't end at me simply enjoying your company, I guess? And these last few days, I... it was like a part of me was dying. I couldn't even bring myself to worry about my eye, all I could think about was you. You looked so small, and fragile, and I-I kept thinking that you couldn't go. If you did, you would be taking my soul with you, and that sounds so fucking dramatic but I swear it's the truth. And especially with how weird things were those last few days, I couldn't stand it but I also didn't want to push you and– and I– I care about you so much, Kazuha, it's agonizing in the best way possible, and I don't think this is just a friendship but I don't know, I don't want to hurt you again–"
"Kuni." Kazuha gently took Kunikuzushi's hands, intertwining their fingers. "Kuni, it's okay. Breathe."
Kunikuzushi heaved a shuddering breath, his downcast eye growing more misty by the second. "I don't know if this is love," he said quietly, his voice an uncertain little thing. "But I think it is."
"Okay, I understand," Kazuha said simply. He swallowed. He allowed himself to feel his own emotions, the hesitation, the uncertainty, the fear, the hope. The idea that his feelings may not be one-sided after all... it filled him with joy. His heart was thundering in his chest, and he was fairly certain that if his hands weren't busy holding Kunikuzushi's own, they would be shaking uncontrollably. He wished he could kiss him, but he didn't want to overwhelm him. So he simply breathed deeply, willing himself to focus on the here and now. "Kuni, come here, please."
Kunikuzushi stiffened, but did as Kazuha asked and took a seat on the mattress, right by Kazuha's side. He tried to move his hands away, but Kazuha held them tightly into his own and used them to pull him in closer. "Kuni, can I hug you?"
Kunikuzushi nodded mutely and Kazuha drew him in, pressing him against his chest as tightly as he could without upsetting his wounds. "Thank you for being so honest," he whispered into his inky hair.
Kunikuzushi simply nodded, his hands settling on Kazuha's back and grabbing at the fabric of his shirt. "I don't know what I'm supposed to do," he confessed quietly. "I feel like a piece of shit for pushing you away just to dump this on you now, but I also didn't want to keep this from you. Neither of the two options feel fair, but... I thought you deserved to at least know the truth."
"And I am glad you told me," Kazuha reassured him softly. "My feelings for you haven't faded, Kuni, and my heart soars at knowing that they may be reciprocated after all."
Kunikuzushi shivered in his hold, burying his face in Kazuha's neck with a small sound of acknowledgement. "So... do you want to...?"
"What I want is to help you understand, Kuni." He carefully pressed his lips to the crown of Kunikuzushi's head – not quite a kiss, but enough to evoke the thought of one. "This is a difficult situation to navigate for both of us, and I don't wish to push you. There's no need to put a name to this, we can just go at our own pace and see what works for us. Alright?"
"...Always so sensible," Kunikuzushi muttered, a smile evident in his tone of voice. "Are you sure, Kazuha?"
"There's not a single doubt in my mind," Kazuha answered earnestly.
At that, Kunikuzushi drew back. He stared at Kazuha with wide eyes and parted lips, something uncertain yet eager playing across his features. "Can you... can you kiss me? If you want to?"
If he wanted to. Oh, Kuni. "I always want to kiss you," he teased, and Kunikuzushi went red as a tomato but didn't protest. And so Kazuha slowly leaned in, capturing Kunikuzushi's lips in a gentle kiss.
He drew back soon after, and barely held back an incredulous giggle. This... this might turn out alright after all. And even if it didn't... he wasn't as scared as before. He knew that they could avoid a falling out, as long as they were honest with themselves and each other. They could do this.
"That felt better. Compared to last time."
Kazuha raised a hand to the corner of Kunikuzushi's lips, wiping away a bit of saliva and making him blush in response. "In what way?"
"It felt more... more."
"How eloquent."
Kunikuzushi lightly punched him on the shoulder, and Kazuha's giggles finally got the better of him. "Fucking– I don't know how to explain it! It's like– it's not like I didn't like it before, but that was just... physical? I mean, I guess my heart skipped a beat or two, but... it didn't burn like it does now. It's a good type of burn, though. Like a little fire. An... affectionate little fire."
"You should start writing poetry."
Kunikuzushi dropped his forehead against Kazuha's shoulder with a groan. "Shut uuup," he whined. "I get all vulnerable and this is how you repay me. Asshole." Despite the accusatory words his voice was devoid of any real discomfort or anger, so Kazuha simply laughed softly and pressed a kiss on Kunikuzushi's temple.
...This was a thing he could do now. He could simply... choose to kiss Kunikuzushi. Whenever he wanted.
"Can I kiss you again?"
Kunikuzushi straightened up, shooting him a soft, slightly exasperated smile. "You better not ask every single time."
"Is that a yes?"
"...Dumbass. Yes, you can kiss me again."
Kazuha didn't need to be told twice. He leaned into another kiss, delighting in Kunikuzushi's delicate, but curious lips. He brushed a hand along Kunikuzushi's jaw, making him shiver, and sighed into the kiss as Kunikuzushi carefully moved closer and gingerly sat on Kazuha's legs.
Yes... no matter what happened moving forward, no matter what form or name their relationship would take, Kazuha knew that they would be alright.