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It's been 2 weeks since Castiel returned. Dean has been more alive than ever, Sam right there with him.
Cas and Dean, to no one's surprise, not that they have many people to tell about each other, fit together perfectly. Sam was quietly observing how much the relationship helped Dean.
The younger can count on one hand how many drinks his brother had in those 2 weeks, not to mention, Dean finally put on some weight. The muscles he lost from Cas's death have returned quickly.
All of them have been so unnaturally happy about life, none of them really cared what was going on outside of the bunker. The supernatural part of the wild of course.
Something new was also Dean being extremely touchy and not bothered to talk about his feelings. Sam thinks Cas had something to do with that but there is no way he is going to complain.
—----------
The two brothers have been watching movies in the Dean cave the whole day. Castiel was sent out for groceries and snacks, leaving Dean and Sam alone for the while.
At some point, Sam moved in Cas's spot to drape all over Dean, snuggling into his older brother like a little kid.
The hunter didn't say anything, just wrapped a hand around Sammy's waist and turned back to the screen while playing with his brother's hair with the other hand.
They watched in silence, Dean quietly muttering some facts about the movie, Sam just existing in the moment.
When the movie ended, neither of them really wanted to move.
Sam at least hoped that was true. He tried to move, so Dean could put on something else, but his brother immediately moved him back to his side.
After a while of just laying there, Sam had enough of the silence. He had been thinking about some things and figured there was no better time to ask than now.
“Hey De?” Sammy whispered.
The older one was almost asleep when he heard his name being called.
“Yeah Sammy, what's up.” Dean mumbled into his kids' hair.
The silence that overtook them was somehow peaceful and equally deafening. Dean was just starting to get really worried when Sam finally said something.
“This is a really bad time to bring this up, considering how happy everyone is,,”
This really did nothing to soothe Dean's worries. “,, but I really need to ask you something”
“What is it Sammy? You're getting me nervous over here.”
Sam quietly giggled. He really wasn't sure what would happen after this.
“Ok so, you don't have to even say anything, and again, sorry, but I was thinking about some things. Among others, I really wanted to ask why you never kept your promise, to you know.. well,, about killing me.”
“What the actuall fuck are you talking about right now Sammy? When did that happen? Did you dream that? What-“ Dean was absolutely speechless. Now that was really a good wake up call. He could see how nervous the kid was and it was, well- nerve wracking. The older one tightened his grip on the younger's waist and waited for what he had to say.
“NO. I didn't dream or- or imagine it! You remember right before I let Lucifer free? We had this big fight and I was getting unsure about everything, so I checked my phone if maybe you called and YOU DID. You left me a voicemail, saying you're done saving me and that you'll kill me. Before you say anything, just know, I'm glad you didn't go through with it. I'm happy with what I have now. With what we have now. But I do wonder why you never did it. You seemed dead set on ending me.“
Sam was crying by now, Dean admittedly not that far behind him. He tried to remember when and why he would ever leave his brother, his kid, a voicemail like that, and he was left empty handed. He knew he was angry, but this is something a person, especially a parent, doesn't just forget.
He does remember what happened with the first apocalypse though. Thinking back at it, he remembered leaving a voicemail, but it was not-
“Sorry for my interruption, but Dean, I think I know what happened.” Cas interrupted them and, more accurately, their thoughts.
“What do you mean ‘what happened’” Sam asked. He hoped that this would be a private conversation, but he would later think, he was glad Cas showed up when he did.
It took Dean only a second more to finally say something. “Sammy, first of all, I would NEVER kill you, no matter the situation and what I say. And back then, I may have said some shady stuff to you, too much, considering how much I claim to care about you, and I DO, do not get me wrong right now,, but believe me, if I could go back, I would never say it.
About the voicemail, I don't know what you heard, but I didn't say I'll kill you. If I remember correctly, which Cas can confirm or deny by the way, I promised you a beat down, yes, but I told you I’m not dad. You're my baby brother, damn it, you're my kid, I can't even bring myself to think I'd be ever able to kill you.”
Sam was full on crying and hiding his face in Dean's neck. The latter hugged him as tight as he possibly could. The angel, Dean noticed, was sitting on the floor beside the couch, with his arms around Sam's middle and face on his back.
“Hey Cassie, what did you really mean with that?” Dean whispered.
“I meant, you were stuck in the Green room when you sent the voicemail. Zachariah, or maybe even Ruby, could have messed with the massage so Sam heard something completely fake. And, if I really think about it, I'm pretty sure you shouldn't even be able to call from there, meaning Zachariah made you think you called, but really, you didn't .”
Sam lifted his head to look Dean in the eyes, still crying and shaking from everything.
“You mean, you never really said that?”
Sam sounded so sad it broke Dean. He distantly felt his tears soaking his own face. He noticed the kid trying to move and Cas looking at him, begging him to say something, so he figured he was quiet for too long.
Dean quickly sobered up and took Sam's face in his hands. He kissed his forehead, looking Sammy in the eyes.
“Sam. I said it once, I'll say it again. You are MY KID yeah? I love you. I don't say it much, but I really, really do. I never said that. I never even thought about it. I was mad as SHIT at you, but not that mad. Never that mad.”
All 3 of them were crying now. Cas was hiding his face, looking away, Sammy had his face in Dean's chest and the latter had his face in his brother's hair.
It was almost 5 minutes later when Sam lifted his head up and took a big breath. His brother moved, a pained look on his face, as Sammy started to move away, Dean thinking he really fucked up this time, but he needen’t worry.
The younger offered him his hand, Dean obviously taking it, and lifting him up in a hug. It was a deja vu from a couple weeks ago, when Sam started moving them to Dean's room, laying down on the bed.
Their angel moved up to the couch from the floor a while ago, now walking behind them, just watching them with a soft smile. Cas sat down on the bed and again, like the last time, just observed. He was glad the brothers put a piece of their trauma away. It was clear that this wasn't the end of the “Need to talk about it” list they honestly should have, but it was the start.
He looked up to see Dean inviting him to the hug pile. Castiel thought about it, lifted a finger up, in a ‘wait a moment’ gesture and disappeared.
Dean was confused, but didn't question it, just returned to enveloping the kid in a hug.
Seconds later, the angel appeared on the side of the bed, from which Sam could see him, and tapped on his shoulder. The younger hunter lifted his head from Dean's shoulder and questioningly glanced up.
Cas was quiet and just lifted his hand up, holding something so Sam could see it.
The latter smoothly moved Dean out of the way, getting up from the bed, grabbed whatever Cas was holding and hugged the angel. To say Dean was flabbergasted was an understatement. He was confused, thinking of the possibilities of what happened, but didn't really think about it that much. He was right, thinking he’ll find out soon anyway.
Sam lifted his head, turned around and finally pulled Dean into the hug. They were all smiling, just standing in Dean's bedroom and hugging.
The hug didn't last as long as the last one, the tallest of the 3 being responsible for that, as he broke it, so he could look his older brother in his eyes.
Dean looked at him, raising an eyebrow, but patiently waited for Sam to say something.
Sammy smiled and opened his palm, revealing what Cas gave him. Dean glanced down, stopping to make sure he saw it right. And he did.
Right there, in Sam's hand, it was the amulet he threw away, just because he was trying to be a bitch and was in a bad mood. He always regretted it, never forgiving himself for doing that.
Dean looked up at Sam with an unwavering smile and just cried. He cried for the times where everything was lost, he cried for the times he couldn't even look at Sam normally, he cried for all the times when he should've but was under too much influence from John, he cried because he damn wanted to and he cried for his own kid that he couldn't believe once thought he wanted him dead.
While Dean was crying his heart out, Sam decided he had enough of standing, sitting down on the bed and pulling Dean with him. Castiel was right there beside him, resting his head on his shoulder, Dean already preoccupying the other one.
After Dean calmed down, he quietly took the amulet that was still in Sam’s hand, put it around his neck and went back to snuggling into Sammy.
Sam was admittedly a little surprised Dean cuddled with him so easily. Not even a year ago, he would rather drink himself to death than do that. He turned to Cas, who he didn’t realize fell asleep on his shoulder and decided to do the same himself.
—----------
It's been 2 weeks since Castiel returned. All 3 of them were happier and more alive than they have been in a long while.
With two more things off of the brothers chest and Castiels, hopefully decreasing, “Need to talk about it” list, their lives appeared to be even better.
But maybe, just maybe, this is only the start of revealing and reliving everything they keep from each other.