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“Simon Donovan’s been shot and killed in New York!” Amy handed the phone to him in shock.
Josh took the phone and was unsurprised to hear Donna’s voice on the other end, confirming what Amy had said to him. “Apparently he interrupted a robbery when he went to buy a chocolate bar after being stood down from protecting CJ.” She continued.
“Poor CJ.” Said Josh, “She’ll be in bits.”
“Yeah.” Agreed Donna, “I’m going to go to Andrews and meet the plane. She’ll need her friends around her.”
“Good idea, I’ll come with you. Can you drive though? I’ve had a drink.” As Donna agreed, he continued, “I’ll meet you at the Metro stop near Amy’s. There's a pull in there and then we can get straight on to the highway.”
“OK, give me 15.” Donna put the phone down.
Amy stared at him. “It didn’t occur to you to ask me to go with you?”
“I don’t think it would be a comfort to CJ to be met by a couple who can barely stand the sight of each other!” replied Josh, humourlessly. He began collecting up his stuff to get ready to leave.
“You know, Josh, the reason this relationship won’t work is because when the chips are down, you go to Donna, not me!” Amy said, exasperated.
Josh swung round. “No, Amy. The reason why this relationship won’t work is that when I’ve just learned that a tragedy has befallen one of my closest friends, and a man I was growing to like and respect has been brutally murdered, you respond with a barbed comment, not comfort!”
As he grabbed his backpack to head out the door, Amy said “Are you coming back?”
“Probably not.” Muttered Josh. Neither knew whether he meant tonight, or ever.
Josh didn’t have to wait too long for Donna to arrive at their meeting place. Normally, when Donna gave him a lift, he’d start the conversation with a snarky comment about whether him and her car would arrive at their destination in one piece (Donna always responded with “It brought me to you didn’t it?” To which he had no comeback). Tonight, it didn’t seem appropriate. Instead he said, “How did you know I was at Amy’s?”
“I tried your place and the office first. When you didn’t pick up, I guessed you were there, begging for forgiveness!” Donna said lightly, determined not to betray the disappointment she’d felt when Amy confirmed Josh’s presence, dashing her hopes that the day’s antics may have fractured the already fragile relationship permanently.
“Right.” Said Josh, not really wanting to go into how his visit to Amy had gone. Instead he turned the conversation round to something he’d noticed when he’d thrown his backpack on to the back seat. “You’ve brought an overnight bag?”
“Yeah, I figured CJ shouldn’t be alone tonight.” Said Donna, “Normally Carol would probably stay but she’s just getting back from New York too and CJ probably won’t want to detour to her place and wait whilst she changes and collects her stuff. This way she can go straight home, and Carol can come in the morning.”
“I’ll stay too.” Said Josh, “CJ has a spare bedroom, you can sleep in there and I’ll sleep on the couch and field any work calls from people who don’t know what happened. Then you can concentrate on CJ herself.”
“Good idea. But won’t Amy be expecting you back?” She gave him a sidelong glance.
“Er…I don’t think I’m welcome.” Said Josh and left it like that. For some reason, despite considering her one of his best friends, he struggled talking about his complicated feelings for Amy with Donna. After a couple of drinks, he could offload to Sam, but even then, it was an odd conversation, as he always felt there was something Sam wanted to say, but never did.
“Oh.” Was all Donna could muster in response, lest she let her feeling of relief that she might not have to see her boss (who she barely admitted to herself she had inappropriate feelings for) with that sexy political powerhouse again show. Instead she turned the conversation to work. “You should ring Ginger and Cathy and get them to prepare the Deputy Press Secretaries. I doubt CJ will be in a mindset to brief for a few days.”
“On it!” said Josh, grabbing his phone.
As the roads were quiet late at night, the arrived at Andrews Air Force Base in good time. A guard waved them through as soon as they showed their White House IDs (Ginger had the forethought of alerting the Secret Service they were on their way after receiving Josh’s phone call). They approached the main building and were approached by an officer who informed them the plane was about to land, pointing at the landing lights in the sky, and it would be about 10 minutes before the passengers would disembark. Josh excused himself to go to the restroom, so he could concentrate on getting CJ home as soon as possible. When he came back, Donna was watching Air Force 1 taxiing down the runway, a sad look on her face.
He placed her arm round her shoulder, pulling her towards him. “You OK? Its OK to be sad too you know. Obviously its CJ who’ll feel it the worst, but we’d all got to know him.”
Donna sighed. “Things like this put life in perspective. CJ and Simon knew they liked each other but didn’t act on it because it was inappropriate. They could have asked Ron Butterfield to reassign Simon and start a relationship, but they decided to wait until CJ was safe and the relationship could start without anyone saying they acted inappropriately. And once they could have been happy, Simon dies and they never have a chance.
Does that mean that instead of ignoring our dreams, we should grab them, while we can? Instead of dating people we have no intention of spending the rest of our lives with, we should just acknowledge that we’ve met the love of our lives and go for it!”
Through tear filled eyes, she could see Josh’s face, eyes wide in shock that she’d come so close to saying what had always remained unspoken. She couldn’t let him speak, she knew the arguments he would use, and did not want to hear him confirm what she knew to be true, dashing the small amount of hope that lingered that he’d declare his feelings whilst still serving at the pleasure of the president. So she continued:
“But then I realise dreams are selfish. They might make us happy, but what about reputations, the effect on our colleagues, the President, hell, if we’re being melodramatic, through him the people of this country if it’s the straw that gets people to vote for Ritchie! So you realise, putting your dreams on hold is the only responsible thing to do. And you trust that, one day, you might just get chance to act on your dreams without negatively affecting someone else, and that what’s just happened to CJ, doesn’t happen to you!”
With that, Donna cupped Josh’s cheek, and wiped a tear from under his eye. She then took a deep breath, turned, and walked towards the plane steps, ready to envelope CJ into a hug as soon as she reached the bottom.
Josh stood and watched her, his feeling of melancholy no longer just for his friend’s heartbreak. Was it better or worse, he wondered, to know the woman you had forbidden dreams about, actually shared those dreams? Suddenly he knew what Sam had wanted to tell him during those conversations about Amy, and why he had held back. Such knowledge was not a comfort.