Chapter Text
“But why can't I date?!” Tsumiki threw her arms around. “Why can't I do anything and Megumi can do everything?!”
Gojo pinched his nose bridge. “Because Megumi doesn't want to do anything," he said.
From where Megumi was reading his book in the armchair, he rolled his eyes. He actually wanted to finish the book.
“Okay, you wanna date?” Megumi glanced just as Gojo pulled one of the faces he made when he was feeling too mischievous for his age. “Fine. New rule. You can date, but only if Megumi dates.”
Wow , Megumi thought, flipping the page. Cunning.
Tsumiki's jaw dropped. “You're not being serious right now. Megumi doesn't even want to date, didn't we just establish that?!”
“Oh, what a shame.” Gojo shrugged twice as dramatically as the situation called for and walked out of the room.
Tsumiki gave Megumi a death glare and stomped her foot, like the spoiled brat she had become. “Why do you have to be so difficult?!”
Megumi shut the book. “Why do you have to be so… the way you are? Can't you just not date?”
“I am 17!”
“Precisely,” he said, passing by his sister to get out of the house. “Shitty time to be dating someone. Do you even know yourself , Tsumiki?”
She sent him another glare, but Megumi was already slipping out onto the patio to have the silence and peace needed to finish reading.
The book was one thing, but all he truly wanted was for the horrible high school experience to end. Everything about it sucked, from the teenage mindset to the conflicting expectations, those from teachers and parents versus those from the society.
Megumi hated all of those. He didn’t need to get a degree to be worthy and he didn't need to lose his virginity to the first horny person he met at a party. Thankfully, he didn’t have to go to the parties, even if peer (and sister) pressure was a thing.
It was still a fact that Gojo's behavior was strange. But it had been strange ever since the day they didn't talk about. No one wanted to talk about how there used to be four of them at home and suddenly there were three.
Gojo used to be a lot more chill. If there was anyone who'd let Tsumiki do something stupid, it used to be Gojo. Now Gojo couldn’t go an hour without knowing where his kids were and what they were doing. Especially Tsumiki - she was a lot more open to the universal experience of high school than Megumi, and a lot more tameable than Megumi, which is why she was throwing tantrums and Megumi simply did whatever he wanted to do.
Which was not dating, certainly.
~~
“Just let me copy your homework,” Yuji repeated himself for the hundredth time. His brother loved being a menace, especially to Yuji.
Sukuna popped a bubble gum balloon. “What part of ‘I didn't do it’ do you not understand?”
“The one in which you're lying,” Yuji mumbled and gave up. He just wouldn’t have homework. Again.
Some new rumor would come out of it, but Yuji was used to it. Everything he did ran through enough mouths to become something ridiculous. Rumors about him spread fairly easily, and he didn’t bother trying to clear them up anymore, or finding out why people liked to talk so much about him. Maybe it was because of his brother's reputation, or because Yuji was just the kind of person who was easy to talk about behind his back. He wasn't going to be confrontational, so why not come up with fun stories about the weirdo?
The chairs at their table shuffled. Todo and the girl he'd been into, the smartest one in school probably, sat in front of Yuji and his twin.
“Brother,” Todo began, tone and posture so official Yuji huffed a laugh. “And my brother's brother.”
Sukuna rolled his eyes. “Here we fucking go again.” He took his phone out, ignoring Todo and Tsumiki.
“What's up, guys?” Yuji asked, used to most of Todo's antics.
“Listen, brother.” Todo put his palms together. “We have to ask you for a favor.”
“Go on.”
“The thing is,” Tsumiki chimed in. She looked and even moved gently, so Todo's interest in her was no brainer, but her interest in Todo raised a lot of questions. “My dad has gotten very protective over the past year and he came up with a stupid rule that I can't date unless my brother does. But my brother doesn't want to date, and honestly, no one wants to date my brother.”
“Who's your brother?” Yuji asked.
“Megumi Fushiguro.”
Sukuna dropped his phone to the floor, looking like a deer caught in headlights. Yuji frowned at him, but Sukuna played it cool, still not joining their conversation and diving into his phone.
“Rings a bell,” Yuji said. Megumi Fushiguro was the school's number one rebel, taking up a rightful spot above Sukuna. The difference, from what Yuji knew, was that Sukuna, as rebellious as he was, actually studied and Megumi Fushiguro was uninterested in the hussle.
“What do you guys need from me?” Yuji asked.
Todo and Tsumiki shared a glance before Todo said, “Could you ask him out, brother?”
Yuji's eyes widened. Not what he expected. Not at all.
Tsumiki jumped in with a panicked explanation. “It's just that Megumi is difficult, but you seem like someone who's not really afraid of a… challenge. Look, I could pay you. It would be just a one-time job. Just take him out once, that's all. Before you guys are through, my dad will surely have warmed up to Todo.”
Yuji wasn’t sure if warming up to Todo was such an easy task, but he didn’t say that. He was also not sure how any of them knew that he dated guys, too. Todo was very passionate about their 'brotherhood', but Yuji wasn't the type to talk about himself-
Oh, must have been that one time he was caught in the empty locker room after the soccer game, making out with the enemy goalkeeper. So that spread as a rumor, too. Whatever.
He wasn’t really interested in the rebellious type, but… well, he could use some cash.
“One hundred bucks, paid up front,” Tsumiki said. “What do you think about it?”
Yuji checked in with his morals real quick. “Okay, fine.”
Todo was way too excited, Tsumiki handed him the money, and they left Yuji with Sukuna looking absolutely disgusted.
“What?” Yuji asked. “You're acting weird.”
“I'm not,” Sukuna said. “You just sold yourself.”
“Relax.” Yuji rolled his eyes. “There's no harm in helping a friend out.”
“You're getting paid to date someone. How quickly do you think this is going to come back to bite you in the ass?”
“And I am the dramatic one, huh?” Yuji scoffed, patted his brother on the shoulder and left to do his research.
He couldn’t just ask a guy out without knowing anything about him, even for a hundred bucks.
Unsurprisingly, when Yuji found him in the sports class, Megumi Fushiguro was sitting on the bleachers while everyone else was running circles. He’d changed into the gym clothes, which for some ungodly reason were a t-shirt and booty shorts, and for a second Yuji forgot what he was even doing there.
Everyone knew what Megumi Fushiguro thought about things, because he never held back. When he found a sports class pointless, he let everyone know. Why the teacher let him sit there was a mystery for Yuji, but he did hear something about a rich father. He didn’t pay too much attention to it, not a fan of rumors himself.
There were more people hanging out at the bleachers, so Yuji stayed almost unnoticed as he climbed up to sit two chairs away from his interest.
“Lucky you. Wish I didn’t have to run circles in my sports class, either.”
Megumi Fushiguro turned his bored gaze to Yuji, looking him up and down. “No one’s forcing you."
Yuji tried a more basic approach, even though basic was probably the last thing this guy would appreciate. “So how are you doing?”
“Fine, thanks, and you?” he answered like an automat, scrolling on his phone.
Small talk was useless with this guy, that’s what Yuji realized right away.
Another approach. “Hey, how about I pick you up Friday at 7?”
“How about no?” Megumi Fushiguro faked a smile and dropped it just as fast. “Do you even know my name? It’s a little weird to hit on people you barely know, don’t you think?”
With that, he got off the bleachers and walked to the door. Yuji watched his slim legs until they disappeared behind the door. Small talk - no. Straightforward - no.
He had to find another way to ask Megumi Fushiguro out if he wanted any money to stay in his hands.
~~
Megumi got more monthly allowance than his sister. As Gojo said, You don't give me as much of a headache. Everytime the money was in his hand, Megumi borrowed Gojo’s car and drove downtown to a music shop. One bill went into the pile that would buy him a guitar when he had enough saved, and for the rest of it, Megumi always went crazy and bought as many new records as he could.
He was leaving the record shop with a bag full of records to check out that night when he saw him. What was wrong with Yuji Itadori, Megumi couldn’t know for sure. Rumor had it that he was secretly a part of a cult, that he'd been to juvie before, and also that something was wrong with his brain.
The only thing Megumi was certain of when it came to Yuji Itadori was that his brother, Sukuna, was a piece of shit.
But now, it was not Sukuna but Yuji, parking across the road and blocking Megumi's way.
“Should we call the cops or will you move on your own?” Megumi asked, swinging the bag of records into the backseat of Gojo's Mercedes.
Itadori leaned out through the rolled down window of his ancient Fiat. It was a cool car, and had it not belonged to his shitty brother, Megumi could appreciate it a little more.
“What did you get there?” Itadori asked, pointing at the store.
“A gun. Move.”
Itadori laughed. Something was truly wrong with this guy.
Megumi had almost physically recoiled when he heard Itadori asking him out a few days ago. Yuji Itadori might have been good looking, and if the rumors had at least a bit of truth in them, he might have been interesting, but Megumi had had enough of an experience with the Itadori brothers. He didn’t need more.
Itadori didn’t move, so Megumi got into the Mercedes, started it, and unceremoniously reversed straight into the front of Itadori's car.
First came the crash, then silence, then laughter. In the side mirror, Megumi watched Itadori slip back into his car with a grin.
“You're something, Megumi Fushiguro!” He started his ancient car and drove away, way too happy to leave a piece of the bumper behind.
Megumi got out to assess the damage and hoped Gojo didn't like that car too much.
~~
Gojo loved this car more than he loved his children, if the ‘ MEGUMI FUSHIGURO!!! ’ was any indicator.
He gripped his head with two hands. “What were you even thinking?!”
“That some asshole blocked me with a car that's basically on its deathbed.” And that I hate with passion. “He didn't want to move so I moved him.”
“You moved him. You moved him. ” Gojo groaned into the void.
Behind him, Tsumiki looked smug, sitting in Megumi's favorite armchair with her legs crossed. Must have been nice taking a break from being the cause of stress.
“I'm having a headache,” Gojo said. “A real life headache, Megumi Fushiguro. It's your fault. I'm going to go bald before I turn 40.”
“Please, don't.” Megumi sighed, trying to shake off the vision. “You'd look stupid.”
Gojo gave him a glare like he wanted to strangle Megumi. To be fair, Megumi might have cared more if Gojo was still Gojo, and not an overly sensitive control-freak. Megumi rolled his eyes and attempted to leave.
“Wait a damn minute,” Gojo said. Megumi halted with another eye roll. “I'll fix the Mercedes out of my pocket, but you'll take whatever allowance you have left and give it to the owner of the other car.”
“You're fucking kidding me.”
“Language.”
“I will not be paying that son of a bitch to fix his motherfucking car,” Megumi said through gritted teeth, glaring daggers at Gojo.
Megumi broke eye contact first and ran to his room before the fight could resume. When he was far enough, he distantly remembered their relationship being a lot different when Gojo was not doing this alone.
~~
“Megumi Fushiguro did this… because you blocked… his fucking way?!”
Yuji didn’t get what all the hassle was about. This car was old, and fixing the dent would be insanely cheap.
“He's cool,” Yuji said. Why talk about the ancient car when they could talk about Megumi Fushiguro? “Everyone always calls him a rebel and shit, but he's just doing whatever he wants, huh? He seems confident. It's cool."
Sukuna scoffed. “The money is getting to your head.”
“Money is just money,” Yuji said. “I already forgot about it.” He had expected it to be easier, first of all. He’d expected it to go by quickly, that's two. And he certainly hadn’t expected Megumi Fushiguro to pique his interest.
“Can't you just go to work?” Sukuna mumbled. “Like a normal person, instead of using someone like that?”
Yuji wheezed a laugh. “You out of all people are telling me this ?! Aren't you fucking notorious for being a dick in all of the relationships you have under your belt? Or rather in your pants since this is all you care about.”
“Shut the fuck up. Fix my car, brat.” With that, Sukuna went back into the house.
Yuji glanced at the dent in the car and wondered if YouTube had any tutorials on this.