Chapter Text
It's been a couple days since the end of the world and no one's really been talking about it. Sure, the Ghostbuster's are back in business and the family is a family once again but no one's talked about what happened, at least not to Phoebe.
She supposes she hasn't talked about anything either. In all honesty, she doesn't want to. There would be too many questions and then she'd have to find answers and it would be messy.
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Phoebe had come to his shop after she felt another fight looming. She couldn't tell if it was her fault but things had been better for a while and now they just seemed to be going in loops, with no overwhelming threat on the horizon to reset the loop this time.
She'd sat herself down on the sofa in the corner at the front of the store and stares at the floor, a scowl on her face.
Ray could probably tell there was something on her mind, more often than not he could. Phoebe didn't know how or why Uncle Ray could always tell but it was both comforting and annoying.
Today it was annoying.
"Something on your mind Phoebe?" Ray asked after Phoebe had turned the decorative snow globe he had of the firehouse one too many times, just watching the snow fall on where she now lived.
She chose to ignore his question, she didn't want to have to explain her own fears still lasted after the defeat of Garraka.
"Fine, fine, if you don't want to talk..." Ray mutters, not at all deterred. He sees so much of himself in Phoebe, but he also sees so much of her grandfather. He doesn't know whether that's a bad or a good thing.
He pauses, making sure to count the seconds, keep the metaphorical clock ticking in his head. Until he finally speaks up.
"You know, Phoebe I once told a joke to a particularly bad ghost back in the day."
She doesn't look up from her knees.
"They didn't laugh. So I asked them if they thought it wasn't funny." Ray carries on, undeterred.
"He said, 'No, I'm literally dead'." He finishes, staring at the girl to see her snort before looking back at him. He smiles and offers a silence truce, she can tell him what's on her mind or he can keep subjecting her to puns.
It's a gift Ray believes he's always had, the gift to make really bad puns.
"We could write a letter to explain your thought and feelings?" Ray suggests earnestly and Phoebe scowls. She doesn't need to write down her thoughts and feelings, she knows what they are. She just wishes, at this moment, Ray would stop babying her.
She adjusts herself so she is facing Ray, legs tightly crossed and pulled into her body.
"You said Egon could 'rot in hell'."
Ray forces a smile at that, puzzling over what to share. It's not a pretty story and he still regrets some parts of it but it's ancient history now and, no matter how much he wants to, he can't change it.
Phoebe is not proud but she is going for the kill here, distracting the man by bringing up what she knows is hurtful history. All in an attempt to push him away, before he can push her away.
"I did, didn't I...Well, as you know, our lives were very complicated but...I was defending myself, I didn't want to get hurt. If Egon was right, if the world was ending and he had stole all our equipment for a very good reason I would have had to come to terms with the fact I abandoned him. I'd just have to face I didn't go with him to Summerville and I didn't help him when he really needed me." Ray explains, Phoebe nodding. Usually people don't explain it correctly, they don't have the right tone and Phoebe ends up missing their twenty other points that off-shoot the main point, Uncle Ray somehow bypasses that fault on her brain so she finds listening to him easier.
"Phoebe, do you want to know, why in that moment I said those exact words that exact way."
"I did think you were quite tired-sounding." Phoebe hums and nods. She had replayed that phone conversation a lot between being arrested and saving the town. She'd wondered about what Ray looked like before meeting him and a million other inconsequential things.
Uncle Ray leans towards her and widens his eyes, making Phoebe think he's about to share a real secret. She's lost her want to hurt him, now genuinely just interested. They're not talking about her, they're talking about him.
"I didn't really have the energy to hate Egon, not really. That's why there was no bite behind my words that day, I was just tired of hating him because...my hate just ended up being an excuse, so I wouldn't have to face my want, my need to hop in a car to see him. I just ended up faking excuses not to join him...until it was too late."
"You came just in time." Phoebe reassures him. She is saying the truth, he and the other Ghostbusters came in at the perfect time to save her and her mother but deep down she knows that's not what Ray means. He means, 'a time before your grandfather died.'
She usually finds when people don't say what they mean annoying but she'll let Uncle Ray have this one.
"...What's wrong with me?"
"Huh?"
She'd caught Uncle Ray off-guard with that one. Still, she put the question into the air so she has to repeat it, looking Ray in the eyes to make sure he hears it properly this time.
"What's wrong with me?" Phoebe repeats, looking down at the snow globe that hasn't left her hands, "Everything seemed better for a week but I can tell there is a tension...It's because of me."
Ray wants to say it's not but he honestly has no insight into what she's on about. He thinks it's her family but he isn't a part of that firehouse crew anymore so he can't, in good spirits, say Phoebe is not at fault for whatever she has to fear.
"I'm very smart, I know mom's divorce is due to me and...Am I going to be responsible for destroying my new family too? Am I going to destroy the Ghostbusters?" She asks, earnest and confused. She's run the situation a million times in her head, she understands there is something that will reach it's breaking point but all she can think about is how the ghostbuster's almost ended a short time ago because of her, because of her stupidity.
Without a threat, it will end again now.
At least that seems the destination most likely.
Ray doesn't see it that way though, placing a comforting hand on her knee and watching her with the warmth he always seems to emanate.
It's not suffocating, like her mother and it's not expectant like Gooberson, it's just warm, like Ray Stantz.
"Now you listen here Phoebe Spengler, your father leaving is due to his own flaws, not yours. Anyone who could walk away from how utterly amazing you are doesn't deserve a moment of your thoughts. You are the savour of the Ghostbuster Phoebe, you brought the Ghostbuster's back by being so much like your grandfather but at the same time being so much more. You, Phoebe Spengler, are a gifted, smart and funny individual who is going to make the name of the Ghostbuster's proud."
Ray is intent on delivering every word of that speech directly to Phoebe's soul, to plant all his warmth into her and let the seeds grow. Ray Stantz is the heart of the Ghostbusters and in that moment, as he pours his love for Phoebe out, showing her how much she means to just him, the 'I love you' silent but laced into every word, Phoebe knows why they call him that, she understands why he has to be the heart, even now.
Phoebe smiles, all teeth as her eyes close.
"As for destroying everything, did I ever tell you about your grandfather freeing a literal nightmare?" Ray laughs as Phoebe looks confused, shaking her head, position loosening a little as she settles in for a story.
"The long and short of it is Egon Spengler, your grandfather, freed the Boogieman after we had all struggled to defeat and banish him. Egon made a mistake and he made a million more before and after that. It didn't mean we got rid of him or the Ghostbuster's were no more, we just did our jobs and defeated the Boogieman again." Ray explains, glancing at Phoebe to see he'd not getting away that easily with not explaining in detail the full story.
"His fear after almost dying brought the Boogieman back but he felt he couldn't talk to us and we all assumed he was fine. Family can be like that, they can be clueless and stupid. But we faced the Boogieman together and after that I made sure to talk to Egon, we all did. We faced a lot of scary stuff and we messed up a lot. We made mistakes, just like you, and we destroyed what we thought could never be replaced, WE destroyed the Ghostbusters! But you brought it back Phoebe and-What I'm trying to say is, you'll mess up, we've messed up, but you'll get through. People care about you Phoebe and I'm lucky enough to be one of them."
Phoebe swallows. She hasn't driven away Uncle Ray yet.
And she's not alone, not anymore.
She places the snow globe down.
"Will you help me write a letter to my parents then?" Phoebe asks as Ray smiles before placing his glasses on. He has experience trying to write down thoughts and feelings, he was the note-taker for Egon when the man tired out Peter.