Chapter Text
“All I'm trying to say is...does he really need to be here?”
Charlie sighed for the tenth time that morning as she checked off another item on her checklist, only half paying attention to the demon following her around like a wayward, cranky duck.
“We've been over this.” Charlie began, irritation seeping into her tone as she continued down the hallway. “It's a hotel for redemption. We don't turn anyone away.”
“But he's an evil menace.” Her father, the king of hell, most definitely whined. “Look at what he did to my- our carpets, Charlie! Tomato red? It may as well be pink.”
She didn't have the heart to tell him the color of the carpets was the last thing on her mind.
“Look, Dad.” Charlie stopped, finally turning to face him. He bumped into her. “Alastor is an important part of this hotel. He's an asshole, yeah, but he's been nothing but helpful since the day he appeared on my doorstep. He isn't going anywhere.”
“Of course,” Lucifer said in a familiar placating tone that made Charlie want to punch a wall. “But you don't need him anymore. You never did, really.”
‘I never needed you, either.’ She had to physically bite her tongue to keep from saying, feeling guilty for even the thought.
“Dad.” She gripped his shoulders and forced a smile. “Why don't you...go check on the food? Make the table spread look nice.”
“You...want me to...?” The way Lucifer lit up at the simple request was equally heartwarming and heartbreaking. “You've got it, Char Char! It'll be the best table spread hell's ever seen.”
She released him with a tight smile. “Great.”
“I know just the thing,” He continued obliviously, spinning on his heel as he opened a portal to the kitchens. “It has to be absolutely perfect for my little girl.”
He disappeared. Charlie looked at the spot for a moment before hitting her face with the clipboard with a muffled scream.
“Don't let him get to you, hun.” The firm, reassuring squeeze to her shoulder was instantly grounding. “He's just trying to help.”
“I don't understand why he has to be so annoying about it.” Charlie allowed the clipboard to lower, frustration met with her girlfriend's ever patient smile. “Why can't they just...I don't know, ignore each other?!”
“You brought two of Hell's strongest demons under the same roof and neither of them can do anything to each other because they don't want to upset you.” Vaggie snorted. “I'd say letting them bicker is the least terrible thing either of them could be doing.”
Charlie pouted.
“...But,” Vaggie pulled her into a hug. “They're both being insufferable about it, yes.”
“I just want everyone to get along.” She whined in a tone mirroring her father's.
“Well, they both missed the trust building exercises day.” Vaggie smiled at the similarities. “Maybe it's time to organize a new one. Once we get some more sinners at the hotel, obviously.”
“Oh my golly,” Charlie instantly perked up, pulling away. “You're a genius, Vaggie! It worked so well last time it's bound to work again!”
“I've got a few ideas in mind.” She mused, smiling wider at Charlie's side eye. “Don't worry. Safe ideas.”
“I'm excited to hear them.” Charlie leaned in for a peck. “Okay, okay. Back to work. Thanks, Vaggie.”
“Anytime.” She fondly watched as Charlie resumed following her checklist, then allowed her smile to drop. She started for the stairs.
Alastor liked hanging around the kitchen.
Despite Lucifer’s continued requests to leave the interior decorating alone, Alastor didn’t feel inclined to comply. A change of rug here, a new bit of wallpaper there-- All over the course of the final days leading up to, as Charlie put it, The Grand Reopening!!!!, written and said with equal amounts of gusto from the princess.
Alastor was sure to do his part in organizing the occasional odd task, but otherwise kept an amicable, reciprocated distance- a bandaid on the greater issue that was the king attempting to assert control in things he had no business futzing with.
The final straw had been the buffet table. A platter of perfectly good fingers (a gift from Rosie as a blessing to the establishment) and choice slices of meat were all laid out perfectly alongside whatever nonsense his charge determined appetizing. It was nice.
And yet, he saw the insufferable, presumptuous gnat pivot and make way towards the table the moment he spotted it.
Popping up directly in his path in a swath of haze, Alastor snapped his staff against the ground and leaned towards the king with an ominous creak of static. “Problem, your majesty?”
Their fragile peace crumpled like a paper ball.
“Charlie put me in charge of the table spread.” Lucifer stood a little taller, coolly matching Alastor's glare. “Not everything is about you.”
Husk, plate of deviled eggs in hand to add to the table, paused. One look at both demons immediately had him walking away.
“I was just...” Lucifer gave a little twiddle of his fingers, moving the dish of actual fingers to the end of the table. At the center of a table, a towering mass of golden caviar appeared. “...moving things around.”
“Why, I never said it was!” Alastor hummed, tapping his mic and reverting the spread to its previous state, not once breaking eye contact.
Instead, the caviar sat on a newly manifested circular table to the side; now, with appropriate accouterments available. “I won't deny our patrons a good spot of roe, but at least have the decency to know what to serve it with.” Cocking his head, he added, “Though, I suppose only seeing the worst of us sinners taught you little of the world, hm? Shame that the only good thing to apparently reach your ears in all these millennia were notions about fish seed served plain.”
Angel, who'd been gathering drinks for the coolers spread throughout the lobby, snorted and held open the door for Vaggie as she reached the threshold. “Don't worry, they just started.”
“Your suggestions are noted,” Lucifer expressed through smiling, gritted teeth. “But I wasn’t done.”
The caviar returned to its rightful place with a tablecloth and decorations befitting only the finest of establishments. It was joined by the set of accouterments Alastor had summoned, but in golden dishes far more befitting Lucifer’s style. Beside it, a champagne fountain in the form of a little statue of a smiling Charlie pouring the champagne.
The fingers and meats were shoved onto the new circular table, an obvious afterthought.
Angel, who'd been gathering drinks for the coolers spread throughout the lobby, snorted and held open the door for Vaggie as she reached the threshold. “Don't worry, they just started.”
“That's not as comforting as you'd think.” Vaggie huffed, taking a moment to catch her breath and scan the kitchen for any damage. Angel shrugged as she trucked on, aimed for their resident toddlers. “Alright you two, break it up.”
She had to forcefully wedge herself between them for that to happen.
“Alastor--”
“Bold to presume I was the cause of this go around.” He interrupted, leaning away from her touch and neatly brushing off a lapel. “I was merely tending to what was left on the docket.”
She spared him a wan, tired look, and continued, “I was going to say that there was something else that could use your attention.” Crossing her arms, Vaggie settled for a flat stare. “And Charlie told Lucifer this is what he could work on, so that's why he's here.”
“Hm.” An equally flat, droning sound chipped through the air, “Unfortunate that even his own kin can't stand to be around him.”
As Vaggie spoke, Lucifer leaned over just enough for Alastor to clearly see his smug smile.
“Maggie’s right.” He agreed primly, making a shooing gesture. “Make yourself useful elsewhere. Don’t you have someone else to micromanage?”
Alastor’s eyes narrowed. Lucifer glared right back. Music started up from out of nowhere, ready to put this annoying sinner in his place once and for all.
“WAIT!” The dining room doors burst open, putting an abrupt stop to the music with a record scratch. Charlie, out of breath from having clearly sprinted from the upper levels, braced herself on her knees as she tried to catch her breath. “I forgot Alastor was down here and I-” She looked up, cutting herself off as she took in the scene before her.
“Oh, thank fuck.” Vaggie breathed, relief loosening the tension from her shoulders.
“Charlie!” Lucifer beamed, stepping towards her with open arms. “I’m so glad you’re here to see what I’ve done with the place! Despite some setbacks, I think it’s coming along really we-”
“Are you fucking KIDDING me?!” Lucifer paused, outreached arms pulling inward in a show of surrender instead. Charlie stood to her full height, fury twisting her features into her demonic form. “You’ve been down here for two minutes!”
He blinked. “Yes? With my powers, all of this is child’s play. Did you want me to take longer? I could-”
“You couldn’t get along for TWO MINUTES?! I ask you to do one thing and leave Alastor alone, and what do I find? You immediately tried to pick a fight with him!” Charlie stomped over to him, taking him by the elbow as he tried to defend himself. He allowed her to drag him along as she approached Alastor. “And you!”
A slow creak of popping stereo followed the radio demon standing upright, eyes creasing in delight as Charlie expressed an apt amount of horror. An amused little chuckle escaped him, one he poorly concealed behind a hand and just as easily quieted at her reprimand with a curious crook of an eyebrow.
She glared up at him, voice level. “I expected better from you.”
From the doorway, Husk smirked and popped a deviled egg in his mouth as he offered the plate to Angel, who paused to pluck an egg from the plate and jeered at the two with a low, “Oooo.” before popping it in his mouth.
She took Alastor by the elbow with her other hand as she guided both demons into a pair of chairs, who squinted at the two onlookers with his head nearly turned a full 180 degrees to look them straight on. “Now you’re both going to sit there and talk to each other until you’ve sorted out whatever this is, because there’s no way we can open up to the public if the staff can’t even get along!”
Lucifer, though touched to be called part of the staff, crossed his arms as he faced away from Alastor. “I have nothing to say to him. He’s the one who keeps coming after me.”
Taking his seat with dignity, Alastor crossed a leg over his knee and hummed, “Very well.” Simply to be contrary.
Releasing his staff into the ether, Alastor clasped his palms in his lap and turned to Lucifer. “You’re a rude, dismissive little goblin-”
“Okay!” This time it was Angel that stepped in, clapping one set of hands and setting an upper palm on Charlie’s shoulder as a kind of comfort before she could get worked up again. He gestured an offering with the other. “How’s about a field trip?”
Vaggie sighed, “Angel, we don’t have time for that-”
“No, no,” He held a finger up to her, daring to smile at Alastor’s narrowed glower, “Just them. There’s a demon Cherri told me about last week, real mean reclusive sort on the outskirts of town. Wouldn’t a heard of this place.” Cocking a hip and propping a fist against it, he pointed back and forth between the two for emphasis. “The kinda demon only these two could handle if shit went south during recruitment.” Shrugging, he looked to Vaggie, “It’d be like that time you threw me an’ Pentious off a roof into an active warzone--build camaraderie and all that shit.”
“A recluse in Pentagram City?” Husk quirked a dubious eyebrow. “Where all the overlords live?”
“Not for long.” Niffty giggled, appearing out of nowhere on Husks' head with a pen and notebook in hand. He grunted in displeasure, but didn't remove her.
“It’s actually pretty easy to slip under the radar if ya got the mind for it.” Lifting Niffty from Husk’s head, Angel tucked her under an arm and absently adjusted the hat. Smirking, he snorted derisively, “But, yeah. Not that it ever lasts long if, ya know, ya end up needin’ a place to stay, any kinda job, groceries--” He listed each point off. He continued until he ran out of fingers and Niffty had squirmed from his hold to dart after a skittering beetle.
Shaking his head, Angel failed to notice the discussion of his suggestion, “Anyway. Cherri said somethin’ about him bein’ a dragon? Not much reason to seek out any sorta amenities if you’re a fire breathin’ lizard--presumably.” He nodded at the consideration then frowned. “Or maybe she was sayin’ our conversation was draggin’.”
Pursing his lips, he cupped his chin and muttered, “Were we goin’ to a drag show?”
There was a moment of silence, broken by scrolling frequencies and dimming lights, “Personally, I’d rather swallow glass.” Then the atmosphere righted itself in an abrupt swoop, “But, if that will put everyone at ease before our big debut, fine.” Looking back at Lucifer, Alastor’s grin glinted like knives in defiance. “I’m more than willing to accommodate.”
“That...” Charlie's expression lit up, turning to properly face Angel. “Is a wonderful idea, Angel! Yes! Nothing bonds people together better than a shared goal!”
No one else was as enthused by the idea as Charlie.
With Alastor's assent, she turned hopeful eyes towards her grimacing father. “I don't know about this, Charlie.”
She looked at him.
“Working with people was really always more of- well, not my thing...”
She upped the puppy dog eyes.
“Plus, outskirts? Pfft, what? We have those? I really don't...” Despite his best efforts to avoid eye contact, Lucifer was failing miserably. Finally, he heaved a deep, resigned sigh.
“Fine.”
“Yay!” Charlie clapped her hands. “Okay, you're both going to have to work together and quickly if you're going to get this done before The Grand Reopening!!! So- Angel Dust!” Despite how much taller than her he was, she stood on her tiptoes to place her hands on his shoulders. “I'm putting you in charge of this.”
Hearing his name, he straightened and looked about, “Huh?” When Charlie placed her hands on his shoulders and looked up at him with the most ill-founded faith he’d witnessed since death, Angel’s eyebrows shot to his hairline. “Huh?”
“No one has made more progress at the hotel than you have.” Charlie smiled proudly. “Out of everyone here, I think you're the best one to make sure these two stay on track.”
Her reasoning made his gut sour with endearment and a small, near-pained smile twitch at his lips in a way only Charlie could ever manage.
She released him, shooting a pointed look at the two chairs behind her, which had turned into a menacing, grinning staring contest. At Charlie's look, Lucifer gestured pointedly at Alastor’s blatant hostility.
“I think they could use an experienced mentor in learning how to get along.” She rolled her eyes before turning properly to the two demons. “As for you two, I want you both to do anything Angel tells you to do.”
Angel pushed a hand into his hair, sparing a nervous side-eye to Husk then perked up at the opportunity to call the shots. Not that he’d trust the Radio Demon to do anything he wasn’t inclined to participate in, but Lucifer? King of Hell himself, desperate for his daughter's approval, at the beck and call of a porn star at her request? Talk about a power trip.
“Anything appropriate.” Vaggie added sharply, noticing his growing smirk.
“And do your best to get that poor sinner in here before someone else gets to him!” Charlie paused. “But you can't force him. It has to be a choice. It's really important that it's a conscious, no pressure, choice.”
“Yeesh. This is all so needlessly complicated.” Seeing the flicker of hurt on Charlie’s expression, Lucifer quickly added, “But, uh. Anything for you. Sweetheart. Obviously. So, where is this sinner at?”
“Aaand this is where you take over, Angel.” Charlie smiled encouragingly, stepping behind him.
Vaggie’s warning squint only served to make him roll his eyes and he decided, fuck it. “Alright, sure. Put the twink in charge of the daddies, that’ll go over without a hitch.”
“What did I just say-”
“One is literally a daddy an’ the other screams dom, toots. It ain’t my fault ya don’t call it like it is.” Angel waved her off with a pointed gesture at the two and propped his upper arms akimbo, crossing the lower. “But, yeah, I got it. Consent is sexy.” And grinned teasingly at Vaggie’s scowl.
He turned to his new charges with a kernel of confidence having Charlie at his back. Christ the things he’d do for her baffled him still. Which brought him to answering Lucifer’s question, “He’s near the peak a the pentacle, a ways into the craggy rocks an’ shit that surround the city.”
“How are we going about this little... what was it you said?” Alastor asked, lounging back in his seat and feigning a genuine curiosity well enough that Angel frowned.
“Field trip.” He repeated, unbothered. “It means the three of us are gonna go for a walk: no powers, no physical fightin’ with each other, no musical numbers.”
“Field trip.” He parroted back, the term gaining a subtle note of condescension. “Why, it sounds delightfully drab.”
Standing, Alastor swept a palm through the air and tapped his mic into existence with a crackle, bracing his palms against its top. “But, the weather is supposed to be lovely today. What’s a little scum on the shoe when you’re spending an afternoon with a chum.”
‘Scum’ was said to Lucifer, bent low to articulate the word directly in his face before popping back upright and twiddling his fingers with amusement on ‘chum’ at Angel, who immediately grimaced.
Rubbing at the tension building in his forehead, Angel ushered the two out and whispered to Husk in passing, “Have me a drink that’ll knock my ass out when I get back, please.”
“Good luck.” Husk smirked, giving a little two fingered salute.