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Language:
English
Collections:
Voiceteam 2024, Voiceteam 2024: Team Quawk
Stats:
Published:
2024-05-14
Words:
385
Chapters:
1/1
Comments:
25
Kudos:
24
Bookmarks:
6
Hits:
153

So I've Been Thinkin' About Penis

Summary:

MONK #1: so I’ve been thinkin' about penis
MONK #2: uh huh
MONK #1: and how we all get supplied

A filk inspired by "Two Monks Invent Penises" by Anonymous.

Notes:

horchata's notes: When our team took on the challenge to make an audio work from a rare and tiny fandom, I didn't know what would happen. But then, I saw "Two Monks Invent Penises." I knew instantly that I was destined to write a penis filk. I have never been immature in my whole entire life, ever, and I was way overdue. Anonymous author, I wish I could tell you how much your tiny fic made me laugh (it was a lot). I hope you are living your best and most beautiful life.

Work Text:

Details

  • Length: 3:10
  • File type: .MP3 streaming
  • Recording Details: Captured in Audacity with a Zoom ZUM-2 USB Mic

Streaming & Hosting

  • On Internet Archive: here

Credits

  • Lyricist: horchata
  • Monk #1 blackglass
  • Monk #2 horchata
  • Cover artist: Rambling_Company

Lyrics

MONK #1: so I’ve been thinking about penis

MONK #2: uh huh

MONK #1: and how we all get supplied
so tell me
where even do they come from
an elongated soft thumb
sticking out your torso
how did the good lord bestow
this upon His mankind
bout half of us get assigned
this weird and floppy design?

MONK #2: I’ll tell you
it’s so easy
now
they got all their penis from a tree
so you’ve been thinking about penis

MONK #1: uh huh

MONK #2: just listen to my melody
so consider
they grow along the branches
like flesh-colored bananas
ripen when the sun shines
like way-too-easy punch lines
when they’re long and floppy
you grab one for your body
pick penises from the leaves
then distribute them fairly, right?

MONK #1: the people pick penis from a tree

MONK #2: yeah man, that’s just what I’m saying
this is my penis elegy

MONK #1: could it be any tree?

MONK #2: mmm mm
mm mmm
only a penis tree

MONK #1: one more thing
that’s on my mind
what are penises, really?
define willies for me
dude, I give up

MONK #2: just relax, man
all they are is squiggles
just white squiggles
with a little red top

MONK #1: they’re that easy?

MONK #2: when you draw the things that exist in the world
you have to capture them just like you observed
squiggle low
squiggle slow

MONK #1: compel me
draw penises with aplomb
that elongated soft thumb
sticking out your torso

MONK #2: they’re funny-lookin things bro

MONK #1: and if you count you will find
bout half of us get assigned
this weird and floppy design
hangin’ down between our legs

MONK #2: each one of them comin' from a tree
now that you know about the penis

MONK #1: uh huh

MONK #2: you will draw them sensibly

MONK #1: on a tree on a tree
now I know that the
floppy squiggly penis grow on trees

MONK #2: one more thing one more thing
don’t forget the balls