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Stanford Pines never thought the day would come where he missed conversations with humans.
He had been traveling through dimensions for decades now (he thinks he’s in his late fifties, but time is so wonky in some dimensions, it’s difficult to tell), and sure he’s met some fellow human travelers – or at least some humanoid ones – in his years but it had been close to nine months since he’d spoken to someone and he couldn’t help but miss it.
Most of his conversations nowadays were either with himself or a pathetic attempt at talking to the creatures he found and studied. Those usually ended with him injured and running away because they couldn't understand him anyway.
He sighed as he trudged through the empty wasteland. It was dark and dreary, with almost everything around him destroyed and rotting, including bodies that he was carefully avoiding. This wasn’t the worst dimension he could’ve landed in today, but he could still never get used to seeing so many dead bodies, no matter how much time passed.
He honestly didn’t have much of a goal today, didn’t even try searching for any creatures that could’ve survived what happened to this place. He was just looking for the next dimensional portal so he could get the hell out of here and possibly find another location more like Dimension 52.
The only thing he could see in this area that could possibly have the portal was the giant mansion-looking structure a short distance from him. He didn’t understand how it was still standing, but couldn’t care less as he finally reached the entrance. Just as he was about to open the gate, he felt a presence behind him, and with the skillset he’d acquired over the years, successfully pinned whatever it was to the ground. Rather, who ever it was.
“Ow! What the fuck?”
Ford kept his gun pointing at the man’s head. A man. A human. What the hell? Who was this and how was he here? Ford had checked over the area with a device he stol- borrowed from one of the last dimensions he was in, and there had been no sign of a living thing. Suddenly, a thought came to him. Maybe this wasn’t a man at all? Perhaps he was some kind of monster that could shapeshift, just like Experiment 210 back in Gravity Falls. Perhaps this could be Bill? That demon had been haunting him throughout the dimensions, but hadn’t pulled any stunts for a while. Ford shouldn’t let his guard down.
“Who are you?” He asked gruffly, pushing the gun onto the man’s head but making sure to keep his finger away from the trigger. He tried to subtly check the man’s eyes for the familiar yellow glint. Thankfully, they seemed to be regular eyes. That crossed off one option. “How did you avoid getting on the Vivus’s radar?”
“Name’s Starlord, man.” He didn’t seem to be very perturbed being stuck on the ground, as if used to it, just vaguely annoyed. “When is that gonna catch on?” he muttered under his breath.
“You didn’t answer the second question,” Ford growled. “How did you avoid the Vivus?”
“I don’t even know what that is!” he yelled, starting to squirm in Ford’s hold. “Now can you get off me? My back’s starting to hurt.”
Ford hummed in thought, keeping his knee on this ‘Starlord’’s back as he checked him for weapons. He spotted a gun on his holster and took it, ignoring the ‘hey!’ that came out of the other man. Slowly, he rose from his position and let go of him.
‘Starlord’ groaned and got up, rubbing his back. “For an old dude, you sure know how to pin a guy,” he said, and looked at him with some sort of admiration, which was weird cause no one had looked at him like that since high school with his twin brot-
He shook his head to dispel those thoughts immediately and raised a hand to fix his glasses, which had been dislodged.
“Woah!”
Ford tensed. He forgot about his six-fingered hands in the face of a newcomer. He hasn’t gotten a weirded out reaction in awhile but it was hard to crush the habit of feeling ashamed of them after years of being bullied.
“I haven’t seen a human with six fingers in ages ! That’s so cool!” Starlord gasped, stars in his eyes as if he was a child meeting his idol before his expression turned more pensive. “Actually, maybe you aren’t human,” he hummed, putting a hand on his chin.
“I’m human,” Ford confirmed wearily. “Are you?”
“Yup! Born and raised on Terra until I was eight. Then I was abducted and I’ve been living in space ever since,” he said, in such a casual tone it was as if he was talking about the weather and not that he was abducted as a child. “Wait, you’re human? Fully human, like from Terra?”
Ford blanched. Were there humans not from Earth? He’s met his fair share of humans in his travels but they were all like him. “I’m..I’m from Earth, yes.”
“That’s not what I asked, but cool. I’m from Missouri.”
“So..from Earth?”
“No, man, Missouri.”
Yeah, definitely raised in space. “Missouri is on Earth,” Ford explained, watching Starlord’s confused expression fade as he shrugged. “Wait, how are you from Missouri and named Starlord ?”
“Oh yeah,” Starlord chuckled, waving a hand. “My real name’s Peter Quill.”
“Ah. Stanford Pines.”
Peter nodded in acknowledgment. There was a lull in the conversation before Ford decided to let one of his running thoughts out. “How are you not weirded out by this?” he asked, raising his hands when Peter’s head tilted in confusion.
“Dude, why would I be? I live in space surrounded by aliens twenty-four seven, I’ve seen way weirder things than having extra fingers.”
“And toes,” Ford blurted out and almost slapped his hand over his mouth. Why the hell did he say that?
Peter laughed. “That’s sick, dude!”
Ford’s memory of his dimension’s slang wasn't very clear after a long time, but he was pretty sure ‘sick’ meant cool in this context and not the actual meaning. Probably. Maybe.
“So what are you doing out here?” Peter asked. “Oh yeah, can I have my gun back?”
Ford startled. “Right, yes,” he gave the gun back and put his own back in his holster. Perhaps he was being a bit too trusting, but he couldn’t help it. This was the first human he’d talked to in months and it felt relieving.
“I landed in this dimension a few hours ago and I’ve been looking for the next jump portal,” he explained, answering Peter’s first question. “What about you?”
“There’s a portal here? Huh,” Peter shrugged, ignoring the dimension part and not bothering to ask for an explanation, which disappointed Ford. He liked explaining the concept of the dimensions. “I’m here to see if I can find any loot in there,” he motioned at the building with his head, “my sources say there’s probably something good.”
“ Loot? ” Ford questioned, his eyebrows furrowing.
“Yeah, I’m a thief,” Peter shrugged. Was he so casual about everything ? It was odd. Maybe it was his upbringing?
“You probably won’t find much,” Ford said. “This place is a wasteland.”
“Hey, you never know. I mean if that mansion thing is still standing, there has to be something in there.”
Fair point. Ford supposed he could explore a little more too before he had to find the portal. It’s not like he was in a rush or anything, since, for once, nothing was chasing him today. Just as he was about to open his mouth to bid goodbye and go on his own search, Peter spoke first.
“You wanna join me? It wouldn’t hurt to have another pair of eyes lookin’ for somethin’ I can sell,” he said. “Plus, you don’t look like you care enough to take more than me. If you do, I can probably take you down, old man.”
“This old man had you pinned down a few minutes ago,” Ford grumbled, following after a laughing Peter as he jumped through the wreckage that was the courtyard of the ‘mansion’.
As Ford watched Peter, he felt his heart stir uncomfortably. Was this how old his nephew would be right now? Shermie’s little Mathew? He couldn’t remember the last time he had spoken to Shermie and his family, but he thinks Mathew was around three or four when he last saw him.
His heart ached. Exactly how long has it been since he’d seen his family? His mother, his older brother, his own twin-
No. He didn’t care about Stanley. He didn’t care about someone that ruined his future and pushed him into a portal . At least, he pretended he didn’t care, as if that would ease the ache in his heart and mind every time he thought about him and what he could possibly be doing after Ford got sucked in.
He shook his head to regain focus and make sure he didn’t trip over any of the debris. Finally, they reached the actual entrance of the mansion, huge doors with weird intricate designs on them. Even though the place was abandoned, the doors were locked and there didn’t seem to be any other entrance. Peter didn’t seem too bothered by this and started picking the lock easily, humming what sounded like ‘The Chain’, a song that Ford couldn’t believe he remembered.
“Is that The Chain?” Ford asked, just to make sure. He was still baffled he even knew the song, he couldn’t remember where he heard it! Possibly in college? When did this song even come out?
“Yeah, man!” Peter replied excitedly. “Holy shit, I’ve never met anyone who’s known music from Terra.”
“Yes, I’m..quite familiar,” Ford muttered, remembering all those times Stanley would blast music in their bedroom, or when Fiddleford would sometimes put on anything on the radio because he hated working in silence. “Quill, what year is it?” he asked suddenly, filled with the sudden urge to know how many years he’ll have to catch up on when (if) he manages to go back.
Peter gave him a weird look but answered anyway. “It’s two-thousand ten.” Ford did the math in his head quickly.
Twenty-eight years.
Ford felt like he'd been blasted by a laser again. He’d been gone from his dimension for twenty-eight years. He was fifty-six years old and he was trapped in between dimensions.
Taken aback by his silence, Peter looked uncomfortable. “Hey, you good?” he asked, reaching out and putting a hand on his shoulder.
Ford took a deep breath. “Yes, I’m fine,” he said, trying to give a reassuring smile. “I’ve just missed…a lot of music.”
“Oh, don’t worry about it. The best music is from the seventies and eighties anyway.” Peter said, a smirk on his face. “Wait, when did you leave Earth exactly? ”
“I wouldn’t say leave,” Ford mumbled morosely. “I was sucked into a portal in 1982. Haven't been able to go back since.”
Peter gave a low whistle. “Damn, that’s far. I was pretty much a baby then!” Ford blanched at that. “I was abducted in ‘88,” he continued, ignoring Ford’s expression and back to his casual tone. Maybe it was a defense mechanism? “Man, the eighties must be cursed.”
Ford gave a laugh at that and silently agreed as they finally walked into the mansion. The interior was just as depressing as the outside, with the whole inside shrouded in black, a dull and dirty atmosphere surrounding everything, from the stairs to the upper floors to what seemed to be (alien?) furniture.
“I could see why no one would want to live here,” Peter said quietly, looking around with terribly concealed curiosity. “This place is depressing.”
Ford hummed in agreement as he stared at what seemed to be human bones near one of the doorways. He was definitely avoiding that room.
Him and Peter agreed to split up and come back to the entrance in around an hour. Peter went upstairs while Ford stayed down, choosing to explore the open living room to his right with the giant chandelier dangling from the top of the house. He went through any drawers or hidden spaces he could find, even through the nooks and crannies of a filthy couch. Yet, he found nothing. He hoped Peter was having more luck as he moved to the hallway and into a room. So far, there was nothing that interesting he could document (except possibly the creepy paintings on the hallway walls) so he hoped, even if they didn’t find anything worth selling, that he could at least find some kind of creature. Perhaps a funky plant.
As he went through the last room, he realized he was suddenly back in the living room. Confused, he turned to look behind him, only for it to be an empty space where a bedroom just was. The empty space that was to the left of him at the entrance. What the hell? He was just in that bedroom. He hadn’t even gone back in the direction of the living room!
He stepped through the living room slowly. Perhaps this was another one? People could have two living rooms, though the concept seemed utterly useless to him. However, as he went deeper into the room, he realized every single thing looked the exact same as he left it. He looked in front of him and saw the same hallway with the same paintings that he had just finished walking through. He furrowed his eyebrows and ran through the hallway, just to end up right back where he started.
This was seriously starting to freak him out. Was he going to be in some infinite time loop? Could he escape? Instead of the hallway, Ford tried running back to the entrance, which, luckily, the mansion let him.
“Quill!” He yelled. “Are you okay?” He had a feeling if this was happening down here, it must've been happening upstairs as well.
“Fine!” came a yell, before Peter appeared at the stairs and stomped downstairs. “What the hell is this place? I can’t get past the fourth room without going back where I started!”
“Perhaps we should leave,” Ford said nervously. He was going to be excited to log this in his dimension journal later, but for now he had a terrible feeling they needed to get the hell out of there. The bones he saw when he first came in were starting to make an eerie amount of sense. People got trapped here.
“What? Come on, man, we didn’t even find anything yet!”
“Quill, seriously, I don't think this place is safe,” Ford interrupted him before he could continue and didn’t wait for an answer as he opened the door and turned to leave first.
Only to be right in front of the closed door again.
Ford’s hands started to shake. “Did you see that? I can’t even leave!” He exclaimed, his hands going up to his hair to grip it in panic.
“Leave? You didn’t even move,” Peter said, fear starting to creep into his confused expression.
What the fuck?
“What do you mean I didn’t move? I just tried leaving!”
“What the fuck,” Peter muttered, repeating Ford’s thoughts. He seemed to finally ingest what exactly was happening. “What do we do?”
“This mansion is obviously some kind of sentient being,” Ford said, putting a hand on chin. Peter nodded in agreement. It seems both of them have seen weirder things that this wasn't anything different. A sentient mansion? What else is new? “How do we escape the loops is the question.”
They stayed silent for a moment, trying to think of possible solutions. Ford couldn’t think of an explanation but…if the mansion loops while running in one direction, what if they both ran at the same time in opposite directions? Ford brightened as he really thought through the whole idea. He told Peter the plan and at the count of three, both of them ran as fast as they could, Ford going right and Peter going left.
For a moment, it almost seemed like Ford was going to keep running forever, the hallway never-ending, until suddenly, he collapsed on his knees, trying to catch his breath and looked up.
He never thought he would've been happy to be surrounded by an empty wasteland.
He laughed in victory and turned to see Peter in a similar position on the ground smiling at him. “You’re a genius, Pines!” He said, rising to his feet before helping Ford do the same.
Peter went to raise his hand for a high five and hesitated. “I guess you could call this a high six,” he chuckled and then raised his hand. Ford’s right eye twitched, but he gave a strangled laugh and high fived him.
A high six. It had been a very, very long time since someone said those words to him. Close to forty years. He suddenly had the urge to cry.
Bemused at the sudden change in mood, Peter stood awkwardly before straightening. “Oh yeah, I wanted to show you this, but I couldn’t find the right time,” he said, and pulled out a Walkman that was attached to his belt, along with the headphones attached to it. “You probably haven’t listened to a lot of Terra music since you went into that portal, so…”
He offered the Walkman and Ford stared at it as if it was something completely foreign to him. He really wasn’t sure if he wanted more reminders of how much he missed Earth and his dimension but…he knew he would regret it if he didn’t take this chance. Carefully, he took the Walkman and put on the headphones, turning it on. Immediately, he heard the opening notes of ‘Come and Get Your Love’, recognizing the song from the times Fiddleford would play different songs in between his country ones. This was one of the songs he liked so much he asked Fiddleford for the name.
His foot tapped to the beat and he tried his best to hold back his tears. He didn’t think he was very successful with the awkward closed smile Peter was giving.
“You okay, Pines?”
Ford hummed. “It’s just been so long since I’ve heard this song. Brings back memories,” he said with a wistful smile. He listened to a few more songs before reluctantly giving the Walkman back. He couldn’t help but give Peter a big, genuine smile.
“Thank you, Peter.”
Peter flushed in embarrassment and smiled back. “It's nothin’, man,” he said, rubbing his neck. Suddenly he sagged forward and groaned. “I just realized I got nothin’ from that stupid mansion! They’re gonna be pissed.”
Ford took the change of subject easily, just as happy to move on, and raised an eyebrow. “Who’s they?”
“The Ravagers,” Peter sighed. When Ford still looked confused, he explained. “They’re sorta my clan. Raised me and everything. Oh, also the ones that abducted me.”
Ford’s other eyebrow joined the other, reaching his hairline. The clan that abducted him raised him and he was completely normal about it? Ford’s head hurt. He decided to just ignore it and avoid asking any questions. This was Peter’s business and if he was this normal about it, then Ford could be too.
Back to the matter at hand, Ford thought for a moment before pulling a stone out of his bag. A few dimensions ago, he had been in a dimension filled with crystals, gemstones, and just about anything that the Queen of England would probably go crazy over. He couldn’t help himself and took a few, both to study them and just cause they really were pretty stones.
“Maybe you could show them this?” He suggested, showing Peter the emerald. Peter’s eyes sparkled as he stared at the stone. “You’re serious?” he asked, sounding strangled, his fists closing and opening.
“Of course I am,” Ford chuckled, pushing the stone into Peter’s hand and closing it. “Don’t lose it.”
“Yes, sir!” Peter joked, then winced and looked incredibly embarrassed, which made Ford laugh harder. It was then a bright light appeared to the side and they both turned to it, hands on their guns. The light settled and it was then they could see what it was. A portal.
“I suppose that’s my cue,” Ford muttered, then turned to Peter and grasped his shoulder. “Take care, kid.”
“You too,” Peter smiled. He looked like he wanted to say something else and was prompted with a look from Ford. “I hope you see your family again.”
That surprised Ford but he recovered with swiftness and gave Peter a soft smile. “You too.”
Peter obviously didn’t expect that reply and was startled. Unlike Ford, his recovery time was slow, and Ford had already turned around and was about to enter the portal before he heard a shout.
“See you around, Pines!”
He wanted to say that it was incredibly unlikely, as the chances of him falling in the same dimension and meeting Peter again were slim to none, but…he didn’t want to squish his hopes. Besides, he secretly hoped he could see Peter again too.
“See you around, Quill!”
THE END