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Somewhere along the lines, Mordred had found out about Merlin's disrespect for nobles, especially his disdain towards the stuffy old lords that made up King Arthur's court. So Mordred had begun mocking them. To Merlin. Via telepathy.
Merlin's composure had never been tested (and broken) so much.
It didn't help that it was the middle of summer and Merlin could feel his back dampen with sweat and his legs ached and Lord Tubblert had been talking non-stop for twenty two minutes.
"Lord Tubblert is ten of the most boring people I know." Mordred's voice said lightly, in the back of Merlin's mind.
"Arthur would be very upset if he knew you spent so much time insulting his most esteemed nobles."
Merlin could feel Mordred roll his eyes.
"Arthur would be even more upset if he found out you weren't paying attention to this very important discussion, Sir Mordred." Merlin replied.
"Oh, please, I'm not the only one."
Merlin glanced around the table. Only a dozen knights were present, and there were over twenty lords of various ages. Mordred was staring directly at Merlin, and Merlin simply raised the corner of his mouth in a smirk. Mordred's mouth twitched as he fought not to grin back.
Next to Mordred, sat Percival. His back was straight and his hands folded neatly on the table. His eyes seemed to be trained on the current speaker.
"Don't be fooled, Merlin. He's humming a bawdy song and thinking about stealing one of Cook's mince pies."
Merlin's shoulders shook as he held back his laughter.
"You really shouldn't read people's minds, Mordred."
"But he's thinking really, really loud."
"At least Gwaine is paying attention."
"Look again. He's asleep, Merlin."
With a closer look at Sir Gwaine, Merlin noted that his eyes were glazed and half lidded. He was leaning back in his chair, so that even while deep in sleep, his head wouldn't loll forwards. Clever bastard.
"Damn."
"I asked him to teach me how to do that. He said I'd have to pay his tavern bill."
"You'd be in debt."
"I could save all of my wages for the next five years and still be in debt."
"He needs an intervention."
"The last time we tried that, he fell asleep!"
Merlin hummed quietly, knowing Mordred could hear it and kept looking between the knights.
They were silent for a few minutes. Lord Tubblert seemed to be repeating the same sentence over and over again, but Merlin had learned to ignore the man. It was rather easy to turn the monotonous voice into white noise.
Merlin watched as Elyan's head drooped suddenly and he jolted back up, obviously on the edge of falling asleep.
"How long do you think it will take for the vein in Leon's forehead to burst?"
That startled a laugh out of Merlin and he bit his lip. The laugh turned into a slight squeal.
Arthur looked at him sharply and shook his head minutely.
"We should send for Gaius." Mordred continued. "Leon could be in grave danger, Merlin! Death by boredom! That's one for the history books."
Merlin tried to steady his breathing but the urge to laugh only grew worse because he couldn't laugh. Arthur would have him thrown into the stocks. Again.
"You're going to be the death of me, Sir Mordred."
"Death by suppressed laughter! What a way to go!"
Merlin couldn't help the giggle that bubbled up in his chest. He slapped his hands over his mouth, eyes going wide as Arthur turned in his chair.
"Mer-lin." The king hissed. "Out."
Merlin bowed his head, letting out a growl of frustration as Arthur quietly waved for his guards. The others in the room turned their heads to watch. Murmurs rose and a few glares were leveled at Merlin. Percival smiled sympathetically, Mordred was grinning broadly, Leon looked exasperated, Elyan shook his head with a smirk and Gwaine was most definitely asleep.
"All this commotion and Lord Tubblert is still talking about the impact goats have on war. This man is truly unstoppable."
"I hate you." was the last thought Merlin sent Mordred's way as the guards escorted him from the council chamber.
A few hours later found Merlin's back aching and his body feeling impossibly hot under the sun. He had occupied himself by kicking the loose pebbles on the ground, but his leg had cramped up not long ago and movement was agony.
A shadow fell across Merlin, and he could have moaned aloud at the coolness the shade brought.
"Happy to see me?" Mordred teased.
So maybe he had moaned out loud.
"Hardly." He scoffed. "You're the reason I'm like this."
"Sorry, love. I'll make it up to you."
Merlin scowled at Mordred's boots. "You had better. This is the third time I've been punished because you keep making me laugh at Arthur's lords."
"It's not my fault they're awful and I'm hilarious!"
"You're not funny and I hate you." Merlin snapped petulantly.
Mordred clicked his tongue in mocking sympathy. He knelt down beside Merlin and cupped a hand against his cheek. His touch was impossibly chilled. Merlin sighed and his eyes fluttered closed as Mordred's magic washed over him, slowly easing his aches and pains.
"Arthur sent me to release you," Mordred murmured. He offered Merlin a smile, as he held up the keys.
"I'm going to tell him it's all your fault." Merlin grumbled weakly.
"Of course you are, love."
"Love." Merlin repeated in a tired echo.
Mordred gave a soft laugh and pressed a kiss to Merlin's cheek. Merlin tried to lean into the chaste touch. Mordred rose and released the latch. He helped Merlin to stand, and wrapped an arm around his waist, prompting Merlin to drape an arm over his shoulder.
Merlin leaned into Mordred, tried to return the kiss (although his timing was off and the kiss landed against Mordred's ear) and let the younger man lead him inside the castle.
"You can stay with me tonight." Mordred told him quietly. "And I promise I won't make you laugh ever again."
"You said that last time." Merlin slurred. A wave of dizziness hit him. "I think I need a drink."
"Don't worry. I'll take care of you."
"And Lord Tubblert will take care of the goats."
Mordred laughed and Merlin joined him.