Chapter Text
While the Links all use their swords to slay monsters, Faron’s fighting techniques are…quite different, Four soon learns.
The Chain had made their way to the Water Dragon’s hall after word got around that the Shadow had sent infected bokoblins in after her. Black-blooded ones, like usual. And Sky feared the worst: they would injure her and she would have to heal in the basin. Again.
“Guess who would have to bring her water regularly?” Sky had asked. “Me.”
The sounds of boko cries and swords clinking drift through Four’s ears as he finishes off the one in front of him. One that has been a little too adamant on giving him a bear hug. The fallen monster dissolves in a puff of black magic, leaving a singular claw behind. Four quickly turns around, glancing at the other Links who are each fending off their own bokoblins rather easily. At the start, there were around thirty. Now about a quarter of them remain.
He glances at Faron, who reaches forward to pick up a small red boko with what appears to be silver plated armor. She chuckles as she curls her webbed fingers around him in a death grip, lifting her hand up to her face.
Wait. She is gonna eat him!
“Faron, don’t-“ Four exclaims, running closer to the large dragon. “I can take care of him, you don’t have to!”
But she simply smirks at him. “No, little Link. I know what I’m doing, watch me. I shall put these monsters in their place. Teach them a lesson, eh? Never mess with Faron, warden of the woods!” The boko squeals from inside her hand as she draws him to her mouth, licking her lips.
“Faron! Please! At least take the armor off first.”
“Ha! Foolish little one. You’d be wrong to assume I have the time for that.”
And with one swift motion, she plops the boko into her mouth.
“Mmm,” she sighs, seemingly trying to avoid chewing on the hard armor. “Scrumptious!”
The other bokos all freeze in place. They just stare up at one of their own kind being eaten by a giant dragon.
Of course, the rest of the Chain takes advantage of this, getting the time needed to quickly finish them off. Soon the hall becomes quiet, with no monsters in sight, and only the sound of Faron happily chewing on her new dinner. An entire boko. Four shivers in disgust.
Sky glances around with wide eyes. “Was that just me, or did she eat that entire thing whole?”
Four nods. “Oh, she did.”
The others exchange puzzled looks, muttering to themselves. Faron may act invincible, but even dragon deities cannot digest metal armor. Oh god. At some point it’s gonna have to come out. Ew!!
Faron clears her throat. “All done now. Thank you brave heroes, for coming to assist me. Shall I escort you out?”
She seems to be swallowing weirdly, Four notices. Having a hard time getting that down, huh. But he knows Faron; she would never admit that.
“Oh, there’s no need.” Sky replies, stepping forward. “I can lead them through the back door, we set up camp by the lake.” He pauses to glance Faron up and down. “Are you okay? Did any of them hurt you?”
“Not at all!” Faron grins. “You shouldn’t make a fuss about me now, go rest up.”
Well, she may not be injured…but I don’t think she’s fine.
Four silently follows the others out of the hall.
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As the other heroes rest on their bedrolls for the night, Four is still restless. He glances back at the large hall close by, wondering if Faron is alright…
Then he hears it. A faint moaning noise, right in the direction of her hall.
“Did anyone else hear that?!” Sky pipes up. The noise continues. “I think it’s coming from—“
“It’s Faron,” says Four. “Of course it’s fucking Faron. Ugh! See, this is why that was a bad idea! Good grief.”
“Language, Four.” Time scolds. But the smithy ignores him. He’s almost a grown adult now; he can use adult language if he wants to.
Twilight glances around camp, frowning. “Should anyone go check on her? That doesn’t sound very good…”
“I will.” Four has already stood, ready to confront her and ask why the fuck did you do that, you little-
“Wait, I’ll come too.” Sky quickly walks up to the smithy. “Mostly to scold the shit out of her, though.”
The two Links make their way to the hall’s back door. Faron’s groaning is intermittent, but it becomes concerningly loud as they draw near. Four just hopes none of that boko’s armor had spikes on it, or any pointy pieces for that matter. Oh god, oh Hylia. Why is one of her three guardian dragons a fucking idiot?!
As the Skyloftian throws open the door, they step inside only to be met with a strange jellyfish-looking creature floating in the water. Ah, yes. Jellyf, the leader of the Parella Tribe.
“Are you here to see Her Excellence?”
“Yes.” Four nods quickly. Faron is hacking up coughs close by, her back to them.
“I’m sorry, human, but Her Excellence is not accepting visitors at this time. She is currently in quite a lot of pain.”
“Well, of course!” Four shouts, startling the poor creature. “That’s what happens when you FUCKING SWALLOW METAL ARMOR!”
“ Four.” Sky’s voice is firm. “That’s enough.”
Oops. Maybe he’s learned a bit too much from Legend after all.
Ignoring Jellyf, he and Sky jump into the water and swim to the center platform. Lying on the floor in front of Faron are a few pieces of the boko: armor parts, claws, and what seems to be a couple small earrings.
“Hey! I told you not to—“ Jellyf shouts, but the small Parella’s voice is drowned out by Faron’s heaving. Yikes. It sounds quite painful…The heroes stand in front of the Water Dragon, and it seems like Jellyf has given in as he heads back toward the door.
Faron has one hand over her large belly, and she manages to glare down at them while she winces and moans. Four simply glares.
“I TOLD YOU not to do that!” he exclaims. “We can hear you all the way from camp!”
She opens her mouth in an attempt to reply, but resorts to holding up four fingers instead, then points to the door behind her. An equivalent to her usual “ Go away.”
“Step back, Four.” Sky warns. The smithy reluctantly obeys, and soon realizes why. In a few excruciating heaves, a large piece of armor finally emerges from her mouth, dropping onto the floor with a clang. Faron gasps, coughing so loudly Four has to cover his small ears.
“Was that the last one?” he asks Sky, still raising his voice.
“I think so. At least I hope so.”
It takes the dragon a minute to collect herself enough to speak. “Ugh—“ she spats, in between coughs. “I told you to- * cough* - go away!”
“Not yet!” Sky protests. “We told you eating that boko was stupid. Four could have easily taken care of it! Why did you do that?!”
Faron attempts to clear her throat, folding her arms across her chest. “Because- it’s fun.”
“You think that’s fun?!?” Four can’t help but laugh as Sky continues. He really did say he would scold the shit out of her… “What part of what you just did was FUN?!”
“It was- *coughcough* - to teach ‘em a lesson. And- *cough* - he tasted good.”
“Yuck.” Four scrunches his face in disgust. “That’s gross! He could not have tasted good!”
A few more coughs later and she’s sounding a bit better, to the smithy’s relief. She sighs and glances down at the assorted remains.
“Oh, but he did,” she replies. “…Almost made this all worth it.”
Sky doesn’t seem to be satisfied. “Well, maybe you can eat one without the armor next time!”
“Hmm… *cough* - I can’t guarantee that, Link. I eat anything I want.”
Even inedible things, huh.
Still glancing up at her, Four can’t help but giggle. Faron really is quite a peculiar dragon.