Work Text:
Horatio had said everything would be fine. He had told him to trust him. And Ryan had. But he had known better.
Still, he had done what needed to be done, because it was what he did, and because deep inside he had hoped that Horatio was right – it was Horatio, after all. So Ryan had done the job, flushed out the mole, and prayed the whole department wouldn’t end up hating him for it. Because Ryan had been a cop first, and he knew how cops felt about ‘traitors’, about people who turned against one of their own. It didn’t seem to matter that she had been the mole first. Maybe they didn’t know everything she had done, everything she could have compromised. It wasn’t like Ryan could tell them either – the DA had told him to keep his mouth shut and that at least still sounded like a great idea.
Work was awkward, to say the least.
Ryan had used to love his job, and he still did, but he now dreaded coming into the lab in the mornings. Everywhere, there were whispers and scornful looks, and he was used to those. It was a little like his first weeks at the lab all over again, when people still resented him for taking Speedle’s place, but it hadn’t matter then because their friend had just gotten killed and there was Ryan, taking over. Except then, it hadn’t been personal.
People shouldn’t even have known about his role in the investigation in the first place, and they probably still didn’t, not entirely, but their suspicions were enough. It was all thanks to Erica really, and he had told Horatio it wasn’t a good idea to use her information because Erica always wanted something in return. Turned out he had been right again, and man, he had never hoped to be so wrong before. Because after they had arrested their mole, Erica had gone live with her story, talking about the ‘invaluable help’ IAB had received from someone ‘inside the lab’. It really didn’t take a genius to put two and two together and come up with four. After all, they all knew about his history with her. And the people at the lab were all relatively smart.
It had been two months now, and he had hoped things would die down before the trial, but he had been wrong. Still mistrust everywhere he went and it wasn’t contained to the lab anymore. Someone had slipped the words to the detectives and patrol officers, hell the whole division, and that was a real joy to work with.
It wouldn’t have been so bad if he had had someone to watch his back. And he hadn’t.
Eric didn’t talk to him – when he did they usually ended up shouting at each other – and that hurt because he had thought they were becoming friends. Actually, it hurt for a whole different reason but the fact that he was in love with the man was his business and he made damn sure he kept it that way. Didn’t need something else against him right now. Calleigh was torn between the two of them and didn’t seem to know how to handle the situation, trying to mediate or buffer with little success. Horatio was still the same as usual, unflappable and aloof, with something like regret thrown in the middle. At least the man knew he was responsible for some of this mess. Not that it was of any comfort, really. There wasn’t much he could do anyway, except shooting down whoever made a comment in his presence.
Only Alexx had stuck with him unconditionally – he was her ‘baby’ after all. He could admit that even if it had embarrassed him at first, he was now very glad to let her mother him anytime she wanted. Still, her taking his side had strained her relationship with Eric and Ryan felt bad because he knew the two cared about each other.
So he had decided to deal with it his own way – ignore it. He did his job, kept his interactions with others minimal and went home. Still hoping it would all die down eventually.
Until one day when he found himself alone at a scene, B&E, pretty straightforward, till the perp came back gun blazing and started shooting up the place, completely out of his mind. And his back-up turned up ten minutes later than it would normally have – and Ryan knew because he had been keeping a desperate eye on his watch, wondering when there were going to show up, wondering if they were going to show up, because he was running out of ammo very fast and once he did, he was dead.
The next day, his letter of resignation was on Horatio’s desk.
It just wasn’t worth dying for.
---
Having resigned from his job, Ryan really didn’t want to stay one minute longer in Miami. It was funny how a city that had always been home to him could suddenly be made hostile by the weight of memories.
Unfortunately, he couldn’t just leave and have no worries in the world. He had his job to consider. Or rather, what he was going to do for a living from now on. He loved the world of forensics but could he really move to a different lab and start over? The rumour would catch up eventually and what would he do then? Move again? Could he do that? Would he be strong enough to remain in a field that would hold no career prospect for him – after all, how could he hope for a promotion if he didn’t stay long enough in a place to earn one? Could he start over with a new team every time? He just wasn’t the best with people.
Yes, he decided. He didn’t want to give up everything. It already felt like he had just done that and there wasn’t anything else he wanted to do anyway. And who knew? Things might just die down. Or he would find a place where people wouldn’t care. He knew whatever he decided, Horatio would give him a solid recommendation. He just had to see what came up.
---
It turned out that the lab in San Francisco had an opening. He flew over there for an interview, met with the shift supervisor and got the job. They wanted him to start as soon as possible. Plus, it was on the other side of the country. Perfect.
He got back to Miami feeling like a great weight had been lifted off his shoulders. Yet there was the underlying sadness that a part of his life, a wonderful part, was over. A new page was turning and as relieved as he was, he knew he would miss it. Would miss them. And not for the first time since that mess had started, he wished things had been different. He hoped it never got to the point where he wished he had never joined Horatio’s team. He would hold on the good memories, and try to forget the rest. It was all he could do now.
So he called Alexx, he called Calleigh and Horatio to let them know. Started packing. Had to reassure Alexx many times that he would tell her as soon as he found a place so she would know where to call him. Reminded her – with Calleigh’s amused presence in the background – that she had his email’s address anyway.
He didn’t call Eric. The man wouldn’t have wanted to hear from him anyway. But he had asked Calleigh to let him know. Maybe hoping against all hopes that the man would swallow his pride and call him before he left.
Which he didn’t.
Then he was gone.
---
San Francisco was different. Not in a good or bad way - or rather, in both.
For someone like Ryan who had been born and raised in Miami, the city seemed foreign and strange. Add his OCD to the mix, and the change was almost insurmountable. The people he had come to know and like almost despite himself - because Ryan had never been very good at making new acquaintances - were missing as well.
But at the same time, the tension in Miami had been so unbearable that it was a relief to be away. And the ambiance at the San Francisco’s crimelab was so very different from Miami-Dade’s that it just couldn’t be compared - even though Ryan did, of course. When he had been starting in Miami as a CSI, he had been so sick with worry that Horatio would realize he had made a mistake in hiring him that he had been set on proving himself. He had come out as being overconfident and competitive, and he knew that he had clashed more than once with Calleigh and especially with Eric during his first year in the lab. In San Francisco, on the other hand, Ryan was more secure in his knowledge that he could actually do his job, and be good at it. There was virtually no one to compete with anyway.
He joined the San Francisco lab under very propitious circumstances for him. One of their CSIs was moving away, and the county had chosen to open another position so there would be two new faces in the lab, Ryan and another he hadn’t met yet. It turned out to be a man a little younger than himself, which meant he wasn’t the baby anymore.
The other man, called Matthew, was also very new at the job, and Ryan, although he didn’t have a lot of experience himself, found out that he liked showing him how to do things - he had felt, at the time, that his own learning process had been more of the ‘learn from your mistakes’ kind rather than the ‘teaching’ one. He sometimes thought it was a miracle - or maybe just his own obsessive habits - that he hadn’t screwed more procedures than he actually had (bringing blood evidence to the tribunal came to mind...)
The rest of the day team was composed of a man and a woman, Anne and Victor, both in their late 30s, who spent their time flirting outrageously with each other. It didn’t take long for Ryan to suspect the two were actually dating but keeping it quiet - or not. They were both very competent and for some reason unknown to Ryan, seemed to actually like him. He liked working with either of them, it was friendly but focused, and he was almost always bound to learn something new.
The team supervisor was named Elizabeth McCabe, although everyone called her Liz. She had had the job for almost 10 years now, but still couldn’t stand the administrative side of it. Therefore, she was almost invariably late when it came to evaluating her team or remembering meetings with the sheriff or other officials. Ryan had been informed early on that it was her team’s job to remind her, and harass her until she did what had to be done - he had wondered at first whether it was a joke until the day he saw Anne dragging a very reluctant Liz across the lab to the conference room, where he had noticed earlier the other supervisors pouring over very boring-looking papers.
Liz was also the one who had interviewed him for the job. This time, he didn’t have only his OCD to warn about, but the whole reason as to why he was leaving Miami. He probably could have left it at ‘personal reasons’ but thought it better to tell the - almost - whole story in case it caught up with him in San Francisco. He didn’t regret that decision.
So, all in all, things were going well for Ryan. He had weekly calls from Alexx and emails from Calleigh, with the odd ones from Horatio asking after his well-being. Nothing from Eric, though Alexx and Calleigh both mentioned him in passing, knowing better than to dwell on the subject. Ryan had been expecting the silence, and pretended he didn’t care, although he had to admit to himself that it did hurt.
About half a year later, he had to fly to Miami for the trial. He was in and out of the city in 24 hours, staying no longer that was required for his testimony. He had lunch with Alexx, Calleigh being on a case and unable to get away despite her best efforts. He didn’t see Eric at the tribunal, which surprised him a little because it was her but then Eric didn’t like feeling betrayed so his absence was understandable. He was both relieved and disappointed, and being ‘home’ even for such a sort time was enough to send him into a fresh bout of homesickness on his return to San Francisco.
A year passed and Ryan’s attempts at dating were spectacular failures. He told himself it had nothing to do with Eric, because honestly there was no way he was still in love with the man. It had been so long now since he had last seen him, more since they had had a civil if not friendly conversation.
Alexx and Calleigh weren’t helping. For some time now, Alexx and Calleigh both seemed to have decided to lift the ban on not mentioning Eric. Calleigh had gone as far as to tell him that Eric missed him and, at Ryan’s disbelieving snort, had continued to say that he couldn’t stand any of Ryan’s replacements - there had been two so far, although the last one was likely to leave very soon according to Alexx. The two women were clearly persuaded that reconciling Eric and Ryan was the best way to get Ryan to move back to Miami, and Ryan didn’t have the heart to tell them it wasn’t that simple.
Then everything changed again.
---
It was Calleigh who called him first. She usually didn’t call when they were both at work and for half a second Ryan thought something had happened to one of them. But Calleigh sounded more irritated than broken so Ryan was quickly put at ease. Not for long, however.
“Horatio and Eric are on their way to San Francisco.”
Ryan’s mind tried to process that information and came up blank. What?
Calleigh was still talking on the other end of the line, something about a case Eric and H had been working on and she hadn’t been, and how unfair it was they were going and she wasn’t, and she had just heard and they had left a couple of hours ago already, and she had thought she’d better warn Ryan, and would he be alright?
Ryan said sure, and he would let her know how it went, and he hung up. And tried not to give way to the sudden panic rising inside him. If it had only been Horatio, things might have been a little awkward, but Ryan was after all a professional and he could deal. Eric however changed things. Never mind Ryan’s feelings - no, past feelings, he certainly didn’t feel anything particular for him now -, there was the whole problem of what had brought Ryan to San Francisco in the first place. What if Eric decided to inform the entire department? Not that Ryan felt like he had anything to be ashamed of, he would just rather not see the lab eye him with mistrust after all the trouble he had gone through to be there. He didn’t think Eric actually would either, not really. But Eric had a temper, he knew him well enough to know that, and from the various accounts from Alexx and Calleigh, it hadn’t improved in the past couple of years. Who knew what he would do then? He very well could decide to get into a shouting match with Ryan in the middle of the lab - that was decidedly something he could do.
While he was still pondering on all these annoying feelings, his boss’s head appeared at the door of the lab he was currently hiding in.
“Ryan, can I see you in my office for a second?”
Groaning inwardly - he had an inkling on how this conversation was going to go - he got up and followed her.
Once inside her office and the door closed behind them, Ryan took a seat and looked at Liz who didn’t waste anytime with pleasantries.
“There is a case in Miami that has ties with San Francisco. Two of your ex-coworkers are currently on their way here to deal with it.” She paused for a second, trying to gauge Ryan’s reaction to the news. From the lack of any, she smiled a little, guessing he had already heard, before continuing. “A woman from San Francisco who moved to Miami 5 years ago, classic story - violent husband, two kids, no other family. She started over with a new name but Lt. Caine found evidence her past caught up with her. He wants to interrogate the husband. We could very well have done it for him, but it seems it’s personal.”
Ryan nodded, absorbing more of the case now than when Calleigh had drawn him a rough sketch. And he knew how Horatio could get - had probably promised the kids to find whoever had killed their mother.
“Technically it’s their case, but this is my jurisdiction and I want one of my CSIs with them. Since you know them I thought it would be better if it was you, but I need to know if it’s going to be a problem. I’ll assign someone else if it is.”
Liz was looking at him with shrewd eyes, and for a few seconds Ryan seriously considered saying that yes, it would be a problem, and please give the case to Anne or Vic. But then his own stubbornness kicked in - and maybe a little unvoiced desire to work with his old team again and a very denied wish to see Eric - and he found himself assuring her it would be fine.
Liz eyed him a little longer before she nodded. “Good. Their plane lands in three hours. I told them we would pick them up at the airport.”
Ryan left Liz’s office in a daze. Three hours. In three hours Eric would be here. He would see Eric. Not that he cared of course. It didn’t matter one bit. Nope. He wouldn’t even think about it. That was why he kept looking at his watch every five minutes. He had to find something to occupy his mind!
So he did the paperwork on the case he had just wrapped up - a shooting in a motel, pretty straightforward stuff - made sure all the evidence was logged correctly, collected the last bits of analysis that had still been running in trace and ballistics, organized the crime scene photos by rooms and numbers, and before he knew it, it was time to go to the airport.
Where had happened to his three hours?
Feeling a little doomed, he popped his head in Liz’s office, told her he was leaving, and was on his way. He could do this. It was easy. He could be polite and professional. It was all in Eric’s hands, really.
That’s what he told himself while driving, and was still telling himself waiting for them step off the plane. He felt more nervous than he had in a long time and his heart was beating way too fast, but he hoped none of this showed outwardly. On the contrary he was trying to be a picture of cool and aloof, and that façade almost slipped when he finally spotted them.
Then he knew he was in trouble.
Because Eric hadn’t changed one bit and all those old feelings were rushing back and it was like no time had passed. Except it had, and nothing was like it used to, so how come he was still in love with the man? He didn’t want to! He didn’t even like him much right now. In fact, he was pretty angry.
But this would have to wait - for another two years for example. So he focused on Horatio instead.
“Mr. Wolfe.” Horatio said, looking genuinely pleased to see him.
“Horatio.” Ryan smiled. It was good to see the older man again. He didn't resent him for what had happened in Miami – not anymore, anyway. After all, H had just been doing his job, just like Ryan had.
Then Ryan turned towards Eric, who was looking back at him blankly, and nodded. “Delko.”
Ryan's voice came out much more hesitant than he would have wished, but he guessed he had an excuse. Eric nodded back, now looking everywhere except at Ryan. At least he didn’t seem angry, and Ryan figured that was a step in the right direction.
An awkward pause followed until Ryan shook himself and remembered he was the one with the car.
“Let's go,” he said. The two men picked up their carry-on bags and followed, Horatio walking side by side with Ryan and making small talk on how his job was going, while Eric trailed behind. Ryan threw a glance over his shoulder once and found him looking back at him. He quickly looked away and kept his eyes ahead for the rest of the trip to the car.
“So,” he said when they reached his vehicle. “Do you want to go straight to your hotel or to the lab?”
Horatio checked his watch and Ryan did the same. It was about 9 pm, almost midnight in Miami.
“Let's go the hotel.” H decided. “We'll bring you up to date on the case. Am I correct to assume that Ms. McCabe assigned you to work the case with us?”
Ryan nodded and stole a glance at Eric to see what his reaction was. He appeared conflicted with this new information, a strange mix of reluctant and almost eager - Ryan decided to ignore that last part for the time being.
The drive to the hotel was spent mostly in silence after the latest news of the Miami-Dade lab had been passed on. Ryan looked furtively into the rear-view mirror from time to time, and more often than not, found Eric looking right back. He would pull his eyes back to the road then, but couldn't stop himself from looking again after a few minutes had passed. Meanwhile, Horatio was alternatively staring out the window and observing the game the two younger men were playing, a little smile on his face. Wouldn't Alexx and Calleigh be pleased?
When they finally reached the hotel, it felt to Ryan like the one-hour drive had lasted twice as long. He stayed back while Horatio and Eric – Delko, he told himself, he had to start thinking about Eric as Delko again, otherwise he wouldn't get through the next couple of days unscathed – got the keys to their rooms.
Then they headed upstairs, opting to have their 'meeting' in Horatio's room. While H was ordering dinner, Ryan's cell phone started ringing. Checking the caller ID, he groaned, getting a curious look from Eric.
“Alexx,” he said, like it explained everything. And it did. Eric looked almost sympathetic. Ryan tried not to ponder that.
“Hey Alexx,” he said with a forced cheer as he flipped his phone open.
“Ryan, baby, how are you? Are they there yet? Did Eric say anything? Because if he has, you have to tell me, you hear me?”
“It’s fine, Alexx,” he cut her off before she could get into a full-blown rant. “Everything is fine. We were about to go over the case.”
“Now? Have you eaten yet? Remember, you have-”
“ALEXX!” There was a – welcome – silence at the other end of the line. “Please, go to sleep. I’ll call you tomorrow alright?”
Alexx reluctantly agreed and hung up. When Ryan turned back towards his two ex-coworkers, Horatio had that little grin of his on his face while Eric was finding the view out the window fascinating, though Ryan could have sworn he was fighting back a smile.
“Hum…” he cleared his throat. “Alexx says hello.”
Thankfully, no one commented further and they started talking about the case while eating dinner. It felt strangely… familiar to Ryan, as if the past few years hadn’t happened at all and he had never left Miami. It also was enough to send a fresh bout of homesickness through him, and damn it, he had thought he was over those.
Eric puzzled him, Ryan reflected when he climbed into his car a couple of hours later. He couldn’t wrap his mind around the other man’s behaviour. At times, Eric would smile and say something, and it was as if they had their old comfortable friendship back, while at other there was this distance between them and Eric couldn’t bring himself to even look at him. At least, the constant anger and resentment was gone. That much was a relief because he had dreaded working with Eric if it hadn’t. Yet it would also make things more difficult for Ryan – it would have been easier to ignore his old feelings if Eric was mad all the time. Eric behaving as if he actually gave a damn… would pretty much send all of Ryan’s good resolutions flying right out of the window.
Well, he would just have to focus on the case and nothing else, wouldn’t he?
---
The next morning, Ryan got up bright and early to pick H and Eric at their hotel. Thankfully, the SFPD was going to lend them a car so Ryan wouldn’t have to drive them around during all their stay. They had decided the night before that they would track down the husband first and any friends or relatives the victim might have had here. Ryan left the other two CSIs in front of Liz’s office so they could get introduced and headed for the break room.
He needed coffee.
Lots of it.
Because thinking about someone he wasn’t about to name had kept him up all night, going over what ifs and maybes. Needless to say, he hadn’t slept very well.
As he waited for the coffee to brew, strong arms closed around him from behind. A year ago Ryan would have jumped out of his skin and – probably – reached for his side weapon. But he was used to it now – even enjoyed it a little.
“How is my favourite CSI this morning? Heard we had company.”
Ryan smiled and didn’t move away. “I’m good, Andy. How about you? Lots of cases this morning?”
Andy worked in Ballistics. He had been one of Ryan’s first attempts at a relationship in San Francisco – not at Ryan’s initiative, because he had been nowhere near ready to try to mix romance and work, but Andy had been insistent and Ryan had given in in the end. Unfortunately, like the rest of his attempts, it hadn’t worked out. However, it had failed less miserably than the others and they had remained good friends. Andy took a great deal of delight in embarrassing Ryan and flirted with him at every chance he got. Ryan had been a little worried at first – despite working in the lab, it was still a police environment – but no one paid any particular attention to Andy. They either ignored him or rolled their eyes and smiled at his antics.
Andy was now launching into a list of all the work he had waiting for him on his desk, and how people really should try to come up with a way to kill people that didn’t involve guns so often – certainly would lighten up his workload. He had let go of Ryan at some point in his tirade, settling for wrapping an arm casually around his shoulders and leaning against him in a very inappropriate way that made Ryan squirm while he fixed his coffee.
He was still at it when Horatio and Eric joined them, H raising a questioning eyebrow at the sight and Eric… well, now Eric did look a little pissed off, at least until his face became a blank mask devoid of any emotions. His eyes however… Great. Ryan sighed. Just what he needed. Not only would Eric Delko never be interested in him, but the man also was homophobic. Just perfect.
“Did you get your car?” he chose to ask, ignoring Eric’s reaction.
“We were on our way there. Should we meet out front in 10 minutes?” H asked, and Ryan nodded.
The other two left, Eric shooting a last dark look over his shoulder at Andy, and Ryan gulped down a large portion of his coffee.
“Wow, slow down. That’s not whiskey.”
“This is hell.” Ryan muttered, resisting the urge to bang his head on the nearest flat surface.
“Ex-boyfriend?” Andy asked sympathetically, and Ryan’s eyes shot back towards him, flabbergasted.
“No! Why would you say that?”
Andy looked just as surprised by Ryan’s denial. “Well, I thought it was obvious. It did get him all hot and bothered to see me all over you.”
At Ryan’s still uncomprehending look, Andy sighed dramatically.
“He is jealous!”
Ryan lost a great deal of time trying to convince Andy there was nothing going on – and never had been – between him and Eric. Unfortunately for Ryan, when he left him in the break room, Andy still looked mightily skeptical and Ryan just gave up – for the time being. If another comment crossed Andy’s lips, especially if Eric was in the room, Ryan would be sure to retaliate.
When Ryan finally exited the lab, Eric and Horatio were waiting for him next to their car. H smirked a little – and no, Ryan was not going to blush, he was sooo past that point – and Eric was back to ignoring him. For a second, Ryan debated internally whether he should just let them go work their case on their own, but he was kind of responsible for them as long as they were in San Francisco, and wasn’t that a laugh? Still, he was the one who knew the city and there was no point in letting them drive in circles just because Eric was behaving like a five year old. If it bothered him that much, he could wait for them in the lab, but for some reason he seemed determined to follow.
Luckily, their potential suspect didn’t live that far away and Ryan spent most of the drive giving Horatio directions, ignoring the vibes coming from the back seat. Still, Ryan was glad to exit the vehicle when Horatio parked. As he knocked on the door of the first floor apartment, he decided to put it momentarily out of his mind, focusing on the job at hand.
The door opened a crack and Ryan barely had time to identify himself before it was slammed back right into his face. He rolled his eyes, kicking the door open when a woman’s screams erupted inside the room. Sure enough, the man was already half-way through the window and really, were people all that stupid? It didn’t matter now whether the man was innocent or not, he had just made himself into their prime suspect.
Giving the woman inside a glance and categorizing her as harmless, Ryan called for back-up and took off after their suspect who had by now jumped into the busy street below. He could hear Eric right behind him but he focused on running and yelling at the other man to stop. That didn't have the best results – did it ever? – until the man made the wrong call, turning right at an intersection instead of left, and found himself heading straight for the patrol car Ryan had called.
Then everything kind of slowed down. The man stopped abruptly, looking wildly from one side of the street to the other, knowing he had no way out but unresolved as to what to do about it. Ryan saw all this and reached for his side weapon, shouting at him to put his hands where he could see them. Then the man had a gun in his hand and something hard was slamming into Ryan, knocking him to the floor and forcing the air out of his lungs. He blinked a little, Eric’s face swimming in and out of focus and realized a few important things.
One: he hadn’t been shot. Hell, he wasn’t even sure the man had pulled the trigger in the first place.
Two: Eric was on top of him. Now, Ryan wouldn’t have minded that in the least under other circumstances, except they were in the middle of the street, their suspect – Ryan glanced at him briefly – was being subdued by the uniforms and Horatio who had appeared out of nowhere, and his head kind of hurt. Did Eric really have to slam into him that hard?
“What are you doing?” he mumbled, pushing Eric away and sitting up.
Eric shot him a disbelieving look. “What do you think?”
Ryan touched gingerly the back of his head which was throbbing painfully now. His fingers came back a little bloody. “Giving me a concussion?” And maybe he was coming off as a bit of a jerk, but he thought he had extenuating circumstances.
Eric raised both hands in the air in surrender and pulled Ryan to his feet. “Come on.”
When standing again, Ryan was thankful that his vision remained clear and the world didn’t start spinning around him. So, no concussion, and nothing that an icepack and a couple of Tylenol wouldn’t cure. Certainly nothing worth telling Alexx about, right? That cursed busybody would probably find out anyway, she had spies everywhere.
Their suspect was being dragged, still struggling, to the patrol car and Horatio approached them.
“Mr. Wolfe, are you alright?”
Ryan shrugged and shot Eric a dark glance. He could handle himself! “Sure. I’m fine. We should get to the station.”
Horatio nodded and the three of them headed back for their car, Ryan still touching the back of his head from time to time. The bleeding had stopped by the time they got back to the lab, which was just fine in Ryan’s book because that meant no trip to the ER for stitches. He had also calmed down enough to admit to himself that he probably owed Eric an apology for biting his head off. Eric seemed to be trying out a new mood, one which consisted of shooting concerned and apologetic looks at Ryan one moment and stubborn and ‘I-did-nothing-wrong’ ones the next.
Confusing much? Hell yeah!
As it turned out, the vic’s ex-husband had a good reason for running, one that had a lot to do with the drugs they found in his apartment thanks to his current girlfriend who didn’t seem very fond of him right now. However, he wasn’t saying anything about murder. Luckily the man didn’t seem too bright so Ryan figured that if he had done it, the evidence should be easy enough to follow.
Still, they got back to the apartment and processed it more thoroughly, gathering some traces they would have to compare with the evidence from Miami. They also found a couple of fake IDs and would have to check with the airplane companies if a ticket to Miami had been purchased with one of those.
Back at the lab, Andy was firing the gun found on the perp and comparing the bullet with the one Horatio had brought with him. He wrote down his results with a satisfied feeling and took off to find Ryan, who happened to be back in Trace with – Eric, was it?
Andy smiled a little evilly and strode into the room. This was going to be fun…
Ryan looked up when he heard someone coming into Trace. It was Andy, and while Ryan would have been glad to see him any other time, now really wasn’t it. Eric tensed beside him, and yeah, really not a good time. Plus the look on Andy’s face was just... evil, and Ryan considered running for the hills.
“Tell me you love me.”
Ryan’s jaw dropped but he recovered soon enough to glare daggers at Andy.
“Come on,” Andy cajoled, stepping closer and waving his results in his direction, completely ignoring Eric’s presence in the room. “You know you do.”
Eric was almost growling and Ryan decided it was time to do some damage control. “Andy!” he hissed, “you said you’d behave!”
Andy pouted – rather outrageously – and Ryan gritted his teeth.
“What was it?”
“Fine. Be that way. I’ve solved your case. The bullet recovered in Miami matches the one I fired from your suspect’s gun. So, dinner tonight?”
Ryan blinked as Eric grabbed the file out of Andy’s hand who just smirked at him, and really, how old were they? Five? If he didn’t know better, he really would think that...
“Thanks Andy!” Ryan said quickly and shoved him out of the room before turning back towards Eric, eyeing him carefully.
After a short pause during which Eric didn’t see fit to comment, Ryan took it to mean they were just going to ignore this. He got back to processing, because even if the bullets matched they still had to get as many evidence against their suspect as possible and make sure he didn’t get away. He had been thinking everything was going better than he could have hoped for when…
“So. You and that guy?”
Ryan froze. Eric wanted to talk about that? He didn’t sound particularly disgusted either, more cautious and a little curious and something else Ryan couldn’t put his finger on. So he decided to go with the safest course and shrugged, making some non-committal sound.
“What about us?”
It was Eric’s turn to shrug, and maybe he wasn’t that comfortable with the turn of the discussion either.
“I just... didn’t know. About you, I mean.”
Ryan smiled a joyless smile. “You weren’t supposed to.”
At least, Eric seemed to understand that, and silence settled once more between the two men. Except Ryan couldn’t focus on his work. His mind was racing into dozens of directions he had never let himself to travel. He was almost thankful when Eric interrupted his thoughts again.
“So, you two... Is it serious?”
Ryan almost choked. “Hum. No. No no no.” He cleared his throat. Eric wanted to know? Might as well tell him then. “That was... last year. For a couple of weeks. We were better off just friends.”
“Oh.” Eric seemed to weigh his answer, and when no more questions were forthcoming, Ryan got back to work.
Piece of cake.
---
They spent the rest of the day going over the evidence they had and unearthing new evidence. Ryan had been right, the man wasn’t very bright. Not only had he kept the gun he had used to kill his ex-wife but they also found evidence of him purchasing a plane ticket to Miami, right before she was murdered. By the end of the afternoon, the DA had agreed that what they had would hold in court and the administrative wheels to extradite him back to Miami had been set into motion. It was now up to Horatio and Liz to do the paperwork and Ryan was glad to go home.
In the locker room, however...
“Hey Ryan!!”
Ryan groaned. Andy. Figured. While the man probably was his best friend in San Francisco there were times when Ryan just wished he could disappear from the face of the earth. “Not now please. I’m tired.”
“Fine. Meeting with Eric?”
At that, Ryan seriously considered banging his head against his locker but decided against it. It was still throbbing from its earlier acquaintance with the pavement and there was really no need to injure it further. Andy’s head on the other hand… now that was tempting.
“How many times do I have to tell you there is nothing between me and Eric, never has been and never will be!”
Andy snorted. “Right. Keep telling yourself that if it makes you feel better. I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”
Ryan nodded and watched Andy walk away. Then he remembered he had the next day off. Oh well. He would probably come in anyway, to see how things were progressing. Horatio and Eric weren’t scheduled to leave for another couple of days, the time needed to finalize the procedure, but Ryan could already predict it would be hard to see them go again.
And he couldn’t shake Andy’s words from his head.
---
Ryan got home, carefully hung his jacket and took off his shoes before collapsing on his sofa. The day hadn’t been particularly busier than usual, but working closely with Eric again and having to watch himself all the time had been tiring. At least, the day had had a – small – benefit he could have lived without. It had lifted any illusions Ryan could have harbored about being over his ex-partner. How pathetic was that? And they hadn’t even talked about the reason Ryan was in San Francisco in the first place.
Then there was a knock at the door and Ryan roused himself to get back to his feet and answer it.
However, he certainly wasn’t prepared to see Eric standing in his hallway, looking very determined.
“We have to talk.”
Ryan could only stare at him for a couple of seconds and when his brain finally kicked in, it was to ask, rather stupidly,
“Where did you get my address?”
Eric raised his eyebrows in a way that was weirdly reminiscent of Horatio, surprised that this would be the first question out of Ryan’s mouth.
“Andy told me. Can I come in?”
Andy. That traitor. When Ryan got his hands on him... Still, he gestured Eric in. As soon as the door closed behind them Eric turned around, facing Ryan with accusatory eyes. Ah. Well, that was more like Ryan had imagined seeing Eric again would be.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” he asked, his voice low and a little dangerous. Ryan however wasn’t fazed by it anymore. He did have a moment though when he wondered what exactly Eric was talking about, the mole in Miami or him liking men but he figured they had already covered the latter.
“It was an on-going investigation. You know as well as I do I could not tell you.”
“Right, right.” A bitter smile played on Eric’s lips. “Like when you told Erica about that case, right?”
“Oh come on!” Ryan was trying very hard to keep his calm but Eric was making it difficult. Despite his best efforts, his voice started to grow louder. “That’s not the same and you know it. There was a mole in the lab, leaking information to whoever wanted it, messing up cases and trying to get us all fired! We couldn’t take the risk of telling anyone, you even less!”
“And why was that?” Eric’s voice was even lower now and Ryan just knew he was about to explode.
“You were in love with her!” Ryan finally shouted, his own anger taking over.
“I was in love with you!” Eric shouted right back. And then they both kept on shouting.
“Then why were you dating her?”
“Because I didn’t think you’d be interested!”
“Well, you were wrong!”
The sudden silence that followed the yelling put their words in sharp relief. They stared at each other, the fury lingering on, until Eric muttered “Of, fuck it.” and grabbed Ryan.
And kissed him hard.
Ryan’s response was immediate, his hands curling into Eric’s shirt to pull him closer and his mouth opening under the assault of Eric’s tongue. It was good. It was very good. In fact, it was close to perfect, everything he had ever imagined and more, except...
“Wait wait wait,” he gasped, pushing Eric away roughly. The two men faced each other, a little flushed and breathing hard. “This is such a bad idea...”
The look in Eric’s eyes was heated and he clearly disagreed but Ryan was holding steady.
“Look, Eric. I just... I don’t... I don’t do one-night stands, okay?” And that was probably why he didn’t get laid more often. But Ryan had to know people before letting them in his home, and feeling comfortable enough to go to theirs. He didn’t know if it was the OCD or just him being difficult, it just was. And although Eric was different, because he was Eric and he knew him already, Ryan still had a dozen reasons why they shouldn’t be doing this – one of them being that it was Eric, and they hadn’t even talked for almost two years.
“What if I don’t want it to be a one-night stand?” Eric started edging closer, looking serious now.
Ryan was a little taken aback. “Well... then it gets even more complicated. I live here, you’re in Miami...”
“Then come back to Miami. Mitchell will be quitting soon –” at that, Eric looked a little pleased with himself and Ryan wondered if Calleigh hadn’t been onto something when she had said Eric was running Ryan’s replacements off, “– H will need to hire a new CSI. Everyone will be glad to have you back.”
At that, Ryan couldn’t stop a disbelieving snort from escaping him.
“Alright, not everyone,” Eric amended, “but we’ll deal with it. And don’t sell yourself short, a lot of people did miss you, especially after it all blew over.”
Ryan had to admit it was mightily tempting. He missed Miami, and he missed his old team. He had grown used to San Francisco and even made friends here, but there was always something missing. Still, if things didn’t work out with Eric, what then? And no matter what he might say, Ryan knew there were still people pissed at him in the MDPD.
“Please, Ryan,” Eric sounded closer to begging than Ryan had ever heard him and it was oddly unsettling, “you have to give us a chance. And we’ll have your back. I’ll watch your back. But please, let us give this a shot.”
Ryan could feel himself being swayed and he didn’t want to, didn’t want to risk it, but he did, oh God, he did and before he knew it he found himself nodding and he was back into Eric’s arms, kissing him as desperately as he felt.
They were rudely interrupted by Ryan’s cell phone but they chose to ignore it, too engrossed with each other. The ringing stopped, only to start again, this time with Ryan’s home line. Still they ignored it. Until Eric’s cell phone started ringing too and he finally tore himself from Ryan. Enough was enough!
“What?” he barked in his phone, because really, couldn’t they have a little quiet? Ryan was a little amused by Eric’s obvious frustration and placed a quick kiss on Eric’s jaw which was soon followed by others. “Yes Alexx,” Ryan froze. “Yes, he is coming back. You can talk to him tomorrow okay? We’re busy.”
With that Eric hung up, smirking at Ryan’s ‘deer-caught-in-headlight’ impersonation. “So, where were we?”
“You were about to tell me how Alexx knows about this.” Ryan said, his eyes narrowing and it was Eric’s turn to freeze.
“Well... she kind of told me that if I didn’t stop being stupid and came back without you, she would... Actually she left that part to my imagination, but you know Alexx...”
“Yeah. Scary, isn’t she?”
Eric nodded and shuddered a little.
Ryan laughed and grabbed Eric’s hand, tugging him towards the bedroom.
“Come on, I believe we were interrupted...”
They both left their cell phones in the living room and unplugged Ryan’s line. There would be no more interruptions from now on.
Good thing neither of them had any place particular to be at the next day.
THE END