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It’s the vodka. 

It sits heavy and warm in Liam’s stomach, the sharp bite of aconite lingering on his tongue. It makes his mouth tingle and his fingers feel oddly distant from his body. Everytime he reaches for his glass it seems to be sitting further and further away. He’s almost positive he’s been putting it on the same little thatch of grass by his thigh. 

He can’t remember why he came outside, only that he likes it better than the suffocating haze of the crowded house party. It’s dark out here, the din of people and music is muted, the sky an open scape of bright stars above him. He can’t look up at it too long because everytime he tips his head back to stare his brain goes all spinny and he ends up dizzy. He wants to look though because it’s a cloudless night and the moon sits like a smile just above him. 

I might be drunk, Liam thinks and wrinkles his nose. 

He hasn’t been drunk since he and Mason were thirteen and they stole his moms book club wine. 

It had been an awful time all around. This is starting to feel a little like that. He’s got that same floaty feeling he’d had right before the inevitable crash. It had been a rough one. 

He should probably stop drinking now. Let himself just coast on this nice feeling. 

Good thing his cup is like halfway across the field for some damn reason. Liam reaches for it, eyes wide as he struggles. His fingers brush along the rim and then somehow still manage to miss grabbing it. 

“This is almost sad to witness.” 

Liam startles at the quiet voice, his body over balancing and he ends up tipping over. Clovers tickle his nose, all earthy and soft beneath his chin. He decides to just stay laying down. It’s probably for the best. Even if his little patch of grass feels a bit like a boat at sea. 

“I’m not sad,” Liam remembers to say several long seconds later. He breathes out heavily through his mouth and decides he should probably roll over, so he does. He ends up on his back, his legs and arms flinging out to his sides to keep himself tethered to the earth. 

Above him, Theo is leaned over, head cocked to the side as he stares down. “Didn’t say you were actually sad, said you look pathetic.” 

“Oh.” Liam blinks and his eyes stay shut a few seconds longer than they usually do. He opens them slowly and Theo is gone. 

“Over here.” There’s a soft snap of fingers by Liam’s ear and he follows the sound, head tipping to the side to see Theo sitting next to him. He’s just as far as Liam’s glass of vodka.

He has Liam’s glass of vodka in his hand. 

Liam watches as he sniffs at the glass, sees the slight wrinkle of his brow before he takes a sip and then immediately pours the remains of the alcohol out. 

“Hey,” Liam complains even though he hadn’t planned to drink any more. 

“There’s too much aconite in it,” Theo tells him slowly, like he wants Liam to understand. “Way too much.” 

“How do you know?” 

“If it burns your tongue, it’s too much.” 

Liam sticks his tongue out. It sits there for a second and Liam forgets why he needed to show it to Theo in the first place. Maybe to prove it’s not burnt. His tongue is just fine. It’s just a little numb. Or raw? It feels like he’s eaten a handful of sour candy.

Theo shakes his head but Liam hears him laugh. 

“Who made the drinks?” Theo asks, rolling the empty glass between his hands. 

“Mason,” Liam grins. “He’s so smart.”

Theo hums but doesn’t say anything else. 

Liam stares at him and Theo stares up because Theo isn’t drunk and he can look up without feeling like a spinning teacup. 

Liam wants to laugh. 

The giddy feeling pushes at his chest the longer he looks at Theo. He’s had it before, just never this strong and unchecked, because he's always squashed it down. He never lets himself just embrace it. 

Now, he doesn’t see why feeling what he feels is a bad thing. So he stares and he smiles to himself as he does it. 

There’s a mole on Theo’s cheek and Liam’s heavy hand wants to reach out and press on it. He wants to see Theo’s surprise, his arched brow, the way his mouth tilts up like he doesn’t want to smile but can’t help but do it anyway. He wants to touch Theo. Just everywhere. His cheek and his chin and his hand and the corner of his eyes where the skin crinkles and, and, and…

Liam swallows around the sudden lump in his throat. That giddy feeling is twisting. He knew that it would. He can’t touch Theo. He can’t. They’re closer these days, have grown close since starting at the local community college together last semester, but there’s still a barrier between them. A line so firmly drawn in the sand that Liam is terrified to even walk along it. It divides them so purposefully. Reminds Liam that it isn’t smart to want to step over it. To be any closer to Theo than he needs to be. 

Want is funny though. 

Want isn’t based on facts. It runs on feelings alone and Liam feels a lot of things when it comes to Theo. 

That giddiness for one. 

That twisting guilt for two. 

The guilt is a byproduct of the giddiness though so Liam isn’t sure if it truly counts. He’s guilty because he wants Theo in ways he shouldn’t. The things that Theo did, those awful, horrible things. There isn’t any forgetting them. 

Liam knows Theo did them. He remembers them. He even had nightmares for a long time because of them. 

And yet…

Want is funny. 

Because Liam is still looking at Theo. And even though he can see the remnants of the chimera of death in the straight line of Theo’s spine and the way he’s aware of his surroundings even at a party, Liam can also just see Theo. 

Theo who has grown, who can take pain, who helps Liam study biochemistry every Tuesday in the library and reminds him to eat dinner. Theo isn’t nice. He’s never going to be nice or wholly good. He’s hardly partially good. It’s just not in him. Liam had talked him down from murdering a professor just for giving Theo a C on a paper. Liam had thought it was kind of funny even though he wasn't entirely sure if Theo was joking or not. 

Theo’s different these days and Liam feels like he’s still learning him. Still finding out new things about Theo every day and all of them burn together in Liam’s chest, they make him want and want and want. 

Liam blinks rapidly, head shaking and he sees Theo turn to look down at him. There’s that raised brow. That tilted smile. It’s softer than it used to be, but still dangerous. 

The point is…

The point…

Liam’s losing the point of his thoughts, all of them skittering around and going just as wobbly as his body feels as Theo stares at him. 

“I like you.” The words are whisper soft. Private. Secret. Theo’s good at secrets. 

The tense line of Theo’s spine draws Liam’s attention. His eyes flit away from Theo’s face but go right back when Theo speaks. He stares at the bridge of Theo’s nose, the set of his eyes so dark in the shadows of night. 

Theo’s mouth parts, closes again and finally he says, “You’re drunk, Liam.” 

Liam bobs his head. “I am.”  He makes a face when that makes him nauseous. “I don’t think I like vodka.”

There’s a punched out laugh from Theo’s mouth, his head shaking. “Stay here,” Theo says and then he’s standing with a grace Liam wouldn’t have even if he was sober. He points down at Liam. “I mean it, don’t even think about wandering off into the woods.” 

“Okay,” Liam gives him a messy salute. He rolls his head to watch Theo walk away, back towards the thumping house and then disappear through the back door. 

It is years before Theo comes back, but he does come back, a bottle of water in one hand and the sleeve of Mason’s jacket in the other. Mason kind of stumbles and there’s a furrow to his brow that lightens the moment he sees Liam sprawled out in the grass. 

“Dude, there you are,” Mason says happily and drops down next to Liam. 

Theo stares at the two of them and then drops the bottle of water onto Liam’s stomach, without warning, and it knocks the breath from Liam temporarily. He coughs, clumsy hands trying to keep the plastic bottle from rolling away into the darkness. Theo doesn’t even look sorry. He’s such an asshole sometimes. 

Liam still really likes him. 

“He’s your problem now,” he hears Theo say and then Theo is leaving, walking away with no promise to be back. 

“You’re leaving?” Liam calls after him but Theo doesn’t even pause in stride.

Mason doesn’t seem to mind as much as Liam does because he just waves at Theo’s retreating back and asks Liam, “how are you feeling, buddy?” 

“I don’t know,” Liam says to the empty space where Theo had been.

Mason pats him and for some reason it makes them both break out into a smothered laugh. 

Liam has only ever experienced a hangover once, the morning after he and Mason drank that box of wine. He remembers now, with the taste of something dead in his throat, that he doesn’t like it at all. Walking sucks. Breathing, too. Liam hasn’t had a headache since becoming a werewolf. He doesn’t miss them at all. 

“Fuck,” he murmurs to his reflection, eyes barely open and his tooth brush dangling from one hand. He’s brushed his teeth twice but he just can’t seem to get rid of the awful taste. 

It’s probably the aconite, he thinks. There was too much of it in the drinks. 

He frowns. Too much aconite? Who had told him that? Mason?

Liam shoves the toothbrush back into his mouth and scrubs at his tongue. It feels raw. Almost like he’d burnt it on something hot. He spits the toothpaste into the sink and sticks out his tongue to check. It’s covered in toothpaste suds but it does look a little tender beneath the white foam and and…

Oh. 

Oh shit. 

Liam stares at himself, his wild hair, his wide eyes, his stupid tongue still hanging out of his stupid mouth and he remembers. He remembers the vodka and Theo and his tongue and Theo’s laugh.

Liam remembers saying I like you. 

And after?

What had happened after?

Liam grips the edge of the sink and drops down to his haunches. Theo had left? He’d come back though with water and Mason, and then Theo had left again. 

You're drunk, Theo had said that in response. Maybe Theo hadn't understood? Or maybe he hadn’t believed? Or maybe he just didn’t want anything to do with the confession at all. 

Liam had been drunk. But the thought hadn’t been a new one. The words weren’t spontaneous other than when Liam decided to say them. They have been living just behind Liam’s teeth for months, begging and pleading to be freed. 

Liam closes his eyes. He tries to remember Theo’s expression when Liam had confessed but can’t. 

“Idiot,” he whispers at himself. 

“Liam?” Mason calls out from the other side of the bathroom door. “You alive in there?” 

No, Liam thinks. “Yeah.” 

“Convincing,” Mason says. “You feel like dying?” 

“It would be preferable.” 

There’s a snort of laughter and then the door creaks open. “Oh dude,” Mason's voice is all sympathy as he peeks in. 

Liam cracks an eye open and looks over at him. He knows he looks pathetic and he’s okay with that. It’s just Mason. If you can’t be pathetic in front of your best friend then are you even friends? 

You look pathetic. 

Theo had said that last night too, but Liam knows he had been joking. He doesn’t think he minds Theo seeing him pathetic either. Even if Theo would tease him for it. Besides, the sentiment is true now in the harsh light of day. 

Liam is pathetic. 

So pathetic he’s going to die of embarrassment and heartbreak and a hangover all at once on his tiny bathroom floor. 

“I messed up,” Liam croaks. 

“You were just brushing your teeth?” Mason says as he reaches down and tugs Liam up to his feet again. “There’s not a lot that can go wrong there.” 

Liam shakes his head, and pauses to rinse out the lingering toothpaste from his mouth and off his toothbrush. He drops it into his cup and then rubs at his eyes. 

“You okay?” Mason asks. 

“I told Theo I like him,” Liam admits into the curve of his own hands. He’s hiding behind them, fingers pressed so tight to his eyes he’s started to see patterns. 

The silence the confession leaves makes Liam want to press even harder until he has bigger problems to worry about. Mason usually knows about Liam’s crushes before Liam himself does, but he’d worked really hard to keep this one a secret. He doesn’t want to see Mason’s disappointment. 

“Okay,” Mason says at last, voice carefully even.

“Okay?” Liam drops his hands and squints at Mason, eyes aching, his head is pounding just behind them. 

“I don’t know what else to say,” Mason tells him, giving a helpless little shrug. 

“Maybe that I have bad taste in men?” 

“Oh, for sure, you do,” Mason says without missing a beat. “First Brett, and now Theo.” He pats at Liam’s shoulder. “Actually your taste in women is kind of similar too. Is bullying a fetish for you? No judgment if it is.”

Liam snorts out a laugh even though it makes his head throb and shoves lightly at Mason’s side. “It’s not.”

He hopes it’s not. 

They both grin at each as their humor fizzles slowly out. They stand in Liam’s ugly little bathroom, bathed in harsh light and Liam swallows around the little lump in his throat that forms. 

“Seriously, though,” he says quietly. “It’s Theo. Of all people. Like a whole college campus full of them I could choose from and the guy I want is someone who tried to kill us a few years ago.” 

Mason’s sigh is heavy, his own tired hand scrubbing at the light stubble on his face. “We should have coffee.” He catches Liam by the wrist to pull him out of the bathroom, through the hall and into the little kitchenette they share. He manhandles Liam onto one of their rickety bar chairs and fiddles with their secondhand keurig. It’s while he’s not looking at Liam that he finally speaks. 

“Look,” he says, full attention on the coffee pod tree. “I don’t like it. At all. If there’s a living embodiment of red flag then it’s Theo.” 

Liam opens his mouth to agree but Mason cuts him off. 

“But, I get it. I mean, I see it.” 

Liam pauses. “What do you see?” 

“You two,” Mason places his mug beneath the keurig spout. “You two kind of just… work, you know?” 

“Yeah.” 

Liam does know. He really does and it’s been the bane of his existence for exactly seven months now. Because the moment he realized it he couldn’t stop thinking about it. How easily he and Theo just move around each other no matter the situation or space, they’re just so effortlessly in sync. Liam had declared the epiphany one of his midlife crises and had buried the realization deep down.

Mason sighs, and sort of slumps over the counter. “I don’t like Theo but if you do, then you’ve got me in your corner, man.” 

Relief fills Liam, so sudden and warm that he almost feels like crying. “Thanks, Mase.” 

Mason gives a tired smile and slides a cup of coffee over to Liam. He lets their moment sit for just a few seconds before saying, slow and awkward, “So, uh, how did it go?”

The relief pops like a balloon. 

“It didn’t.”

“What does that mean?”

“It means—” Liam gestures at the laminated expanse of their countertop. “He told me I was drunk and then he went and found you to babysit me.”

“Ouch.” 

“Yeah.”

“He didn’t say anything else?” Mason asks curiously. There’s a thoughtful look in his dark eyes as he stares at Liam. 

“No.” Liam wraps his hands around the hot mug and rolls his lips together between his teeth. 

“Maybe he’s straight.” 

Liam shakes his head, he knows Theo’s not. They’ve discussed their sexualities before and while Theo hadn’t outright said any labels, he had placed himself firmly in the everyone is attractive square. 

That had just been for his sexuality though. 

Theo had given breath to his romantic identity— or his lack of one as Theo had said. He’d only felt something once and he’d refused to say any more about it. 

Liam had burned with jealousy and with hope, hope that maybe he could be another notch in that belt of romantic attraction. And last night, beneath the haze of stars and aconite, Liam had let that hope bubble up and overflow into the real world.

Shit. 

He needs to apologize for overstepping. The problem with that is…

“I don’t think I can face him.” Liam winces. “I,  he said I was drunk last night and I was, but today, fuck, he’s going to know I meant it and I don’t want to be seriously rejected.”

Liam also doesn’t want to ruin the friendship they had so carefully curated over the last year. It means too much to him now. He doesn’t think Theo will be needlessly cruel about turning him down. But it will hurt either way. It’ll hurt a whole fucking lot and then Liam wont know how to be around him anymore. 

Liam sighs heavily. “What do I do?” 

“I would say we get drunk and have a pity party but.” 

“God, no.” 

“Yeah, my sentiments exactly.” 

Instead of getting drunk, Mason makes them toast and Liam crawls back into bed and pretends he’s not a person for the rest of the day while watching his favorite movies. It doesn’t solve anything, but Liam is a fan of avoiding a problem until it goes away.

The problem comes to him. 

It’s Tuesday, two weeks after Liam confessed, and Liam is in the library by pure habit. He’d skipped the last two weeks, but today his feet had just carried him right along while he was lost in thought about his upcoming final. 

He’s already sequestered at the table he’s claimed as his own on the third floor hidden within the stacks. He’s got three text books, a binder, and flash cards strewn across the table top when Theo shows up. The last two weeks have been Theo free. Liam’s fault because he’d been working so hard to avoid him. 

But here he is. 

Liam’s heart lurches to his throat even as he haphazardly bobs his head in greeting. 

Be cool. Apologize and then hopefully move on. 

Theo sits and starts pulling his own books from his bag. Liam watches from beneath his lashes, his own hand curled tight around a pen. The plastic creaks beneath his strength. He wants to break the silence, but his throat feels a little like it’s closing up. 

Just say sorry, he thinks over and over. Sorry for making him uncomfortable and sorry for avoiding him like a total asshole. 

 It’s Theo that speaks first. “Did your plummeting grade finally make you show back up?”

Liam winces.

Theo doesn’t look up, just tugs a few papers from a binder and slides them across the table to Liam. They’re Theo’s notes. Neat, even lines, bonus tips scribbled in the margins. These notes are the sole reason Liam is even scraping by in his science courses. 

Rifling through them, Liam realizes there’s several sheets of paper, notes over the last two weeks. Theo had been making him notes even while Liam avoided him. 

 Tracing the careful lettering, Liam chokes out a quiet, “Thanks.”

Theo shrugs, snaps his binder closed and then seems to hesitate. After a huff he reaches across the table and points at one section of notes. “Study this formula.” Then he’s picking up his binder and pushing back up to his feet. 

“You’re leaving?” Liam calls out before he can get very far. 

It’s deja vu. 

Liam’s not drunk this time though, he can stand and walk and chase Theo just fine. 

“Theo,” he hisses the name as he slips through the dusty stacks after him. “You asshole, wait a second.”

Theo pauses, brows raised and bag held tight. “What?”

Liam comes to a stop just in front of him. His own hesitation has burned away into frustration. He knows he shouldn’t be frustrated. He’s the one that ruined this. He overstepped, and then he panicked and disappeared for weeks. 

He sucks in a calming breath and reaches out, hand catching a little desperately at the strap of Theo’s bag. “Can we just get this out of the way and move on?”

“You’re the one being weird, Liam.” Theo reminds him. “You disappeared and now you're yelling in the library.”

Liam flushes, lowers his voice to a near whisper.  “Yeah, because I told you I liked you and you said I was drunk.”

“Because you were drunk.”

“That doesn’t mean it was a lie or a joke,” Liam tugs on the strap a little annoyed. “I meant it and I think we should, um, talk about that.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not really,” Liam admits. He sucks in a deep breath, says in a rush, “Okay, just let me down gently and I’ll be cool about it, promise.”

Theo looks away, eyes focusing somewhere in the distance over Liam’s shoulder. His jaw is tense, but he nods. “I’m not interested in you, Liam.” 

Okay. Ow. Liam knew, but hearing it really is a whole different kind of pain. 

He can’t stop the way his breath punches from his mouth, the burn that instantly presses at his eyes. He nods once, sharply, and then again. 

“Okay, cool,” he breathes. “Yeah, I knew that, I’m—that’s fine. It’s fine.”

Theo’s eyes drop to his face and then away again. He looks almost awkward. It’s not a look Liam has ever really seen on him before. 

“Sorr—“

“Don’t apologize,” Liam interrupts and gives a quiet little laugh that verges into hysterical. “That would make this so much worse, holy shit, you’ve never said sorry for anything and now you want to say sorry because you don't want me?”

That would put Liam over the edge. 

“Liam.”

“Nope,” he lets go of Theo's bag strap and shakes his head. “No, we’re good. Really.”

Theo looks skeptical but doesn’t say anything, his eyes fixed on Liam’s face intently. 

Liam turns away, blinking rapidly. He coughs. “Thanks for the notes, I’ll see you next Tuesday.”

Theo doesn’t stop him or say anything. Liam makes his way back to the table, gathers his things and leaves. 

He makes it all the way back to his and Mason’s apartment before he lets the hurt really take him. 

Moping is Liam’s new hobby. 

He’s a professional at it. If there was a market for mopey people, Liam could quit school and make a fortune in it as a career choice. Unfortunately, as far as he knows, there isn’t a revenue system in place for it just yet. 

So, he has to stay in school. 

And staying in school means going to classes, specifically his bio class, which also requires him to go to the library on the following Tuesday because he didn’t understand a single word his professor said. 

He’s late, spent too long on the second landing of stairs stressing about what to do. He let himself wallow for a full week. Mason bought him three pints of ice cream and Corey even let Liam tag along on Mason and Corey’s Friday date. 

Pathetic. 

When he finally gets the nerve to go up to the third floor of the library. Theo is already at their table. His things aren’t spread out like they usually are, his bag isn't even open. 

“Sorry,” Liam says the moment he sits down across from Theo. He probably thought Liam was going to skip out again. Liam wants to skip this study session, but he hasn’t really seen Theo in three weeks now and even though it kind of hurts to see his stupid face, Liam has missed him.

He pulls out Theo’s notes from last week and lays them on the table. There’s sticky notes on several of them. “I’m so confused.”

“You’re always confused,” Theo says automatically, already reaching for the notes to see where Liam is going wrong. 

There’s silence as Theo goes over the pages, and Liam thinks, see you can do this, it’ll be fine.

Theo ruins that just a moment later by smiling down at the sticky notes, amused by Liam’s increasing confusion documented on the bright pink tabs. 

Liam decides to just not look at him anymore. It’s hard, but they get through the usual hour and a half mostly unscathed. 

Mostly, because Liam’s chest feels like it’s being dragged over asphalt the entire time. 

Things change. Slowly. 

Liam can see Theo pulling away, less text messages, less random appearances in the Quad between their classes. Less and less and less. 

At first, Liam thinks it’s for his benefit, that Theo is being kind in that roundabout way Theo sometimes has. That he’s giving Liam space to move past his feelings. Liam’s weirdly grateful and hurt all at the same time. He takes and accepts the space, and feels better knowing that in the end this will all work out okay and they can be friends. 

So, Kal is a surprise. 

He just kind of appears one day at Theo’s side. Liam catches them walking together in the brief glimpses he gets of Theo on campus. He’s tall, broad shouldered, dark haired and even darker eyed. He’s honestly a little preternaturally good looking. Liam doesn’t hate Kal, but he just doesn’t understand how he went months without ever seeing or hearing anything about him to having him shoved in Liam’s face at almost every turn. 

Like right now. 

Liam frowns at where Kal is sitting in Liam’s spot at Liam’s table across from Theo. Theo’s got a sly smile on his face, his eyes fixed to Kal’s mouth and Kal is leaned over the table top, voice so low that Liam would have to use his wolf senses to hear even in the quiet of the library. 

It’s Tuesday, Liam thinks, like it’s something sacred.

And yeah, okay, to Liam it is. 

To Theo he knows it is just another day, one with obligation. 

Still, this intrusion hurts in a way Liam isn’t prepared to deal with. 

Is Kal just a friend? One of those people Theo thinks is attractive enough to give his time to? Or, is he that second notch in the romantic belt? Is he someone who gets to actually touch Theo’s hand and his heart? 

Oh, that one hurt. Liam struggles to breath through the onslaught of panic he feels, the biting sting of pain that wells up in his chest. 

Theo can like Kal all he wants, but it’s Tuesday. It’s their day. It’s Liam’s day. 

It's cruel, Liam realizes. Theo is being cruel on purpose right now. He knows it’s Tuesday, he knows that’s Liam’s table and Liam’s spot and he brought Kal here anyway. 

Theo is all about manipulation. Even now. 

He’s pushing Liam out. Cutting Liam off so effectively Liam wont even want to reconnect. He wants Liam to hate him, because he doesn’t want Liam to love him. 

Because Liam does. 

Love him. 

Shit, he loves him a lot and Theo probably knows that. It’s all over Liam’s face, all over his scent. He probably knew even before Liam went and confessed. He’d probably hoped Liam wouldn’t ever say anything. But he did. Liam did and he ruined it all and now there’s no escaping Liam’s feelings unless Theo escapes Liam entirely. 

Okay. 

Message received. 

He stumbles back a step, hits the bookshelf and freezes when Kal turns his pretty face towards Liam. Dark eyes meet Liam’s, surprised and a lot curious. Kal smiles at him, a polite but flat thing that Liam can’t respond to. 

Theo doesn’t look at him at all, his attention is still on Kal. 

“Sorry,” Liam says but the words don’t actually come out. 

Kal’s head tips to the side, like he thinks it might help him hear Liam better. Liam shakes his head, mouths another apology and then flees. He doesn’t run, but he does walk fast, heart pounding. 

“You’re okay,” he whispers at himself and doesn’t care if Theo can hear him. “It’s fine, this is okay.”

It’s not, but he’s determined to lie to himself anyway. 

The friendship between Liam and Theo is over, cut right at the quick, but apparently Theo is still friends with Corey and, by a hesitant proxy, with Mason. 

“I can ignore him,” Mason says without missing a beat. “Theo who?”

Liam snorts around his slice of pizza. “You have two classes together.”

“So?”

“So, he’s good at those classes,” Liam reminds Mason. “Just because Theo and I aren’t friends anymore, doesn’t mean that you can’t still benefit from having him as your project partner.”

“It does mean that, that is exactly what it means, bro’s before Theo’s.” 

The loyalty is nice. 

“Grades before,” Liam waves his slice of pizza through the air. “Whatever rhymes and makes sense.”

They both try to think of something and Liam doesn’t like any of the options he comes up with. 

Mason slumps into their lumpy couch. “I thought he liked you.”

Liam chokes on a string of cheese. “What?”

“I mean,” he shrugs. “It just seemed like he liked you more than anyone else.”

“Well,” Liam looks down at his mismatched socks, “We were friends.”

“I’m sorry, buddy.”

Liam doesn’t have anything to say to that, so he just stuffs the rest of his pizza into his mouth even though he doesn’t want it anymore. He flips the lid on the pizza box closed between them and asks around a mouthful of crust, “Where’s Corey?”

It’s Friday. Corey and Mason’s delegated date night. They should be off together somewhere or—Liam winces, well, usually they sexile Liam on Friday’s and he ends up at Theo’s place with pizza and a horror movie.

Kind of like what he and Mason are doing right now. 

“Am I ruining your date night?” he asks, suddenly horrified. 

“What? No,” Mason says quickly. 

“I am,” Liam drops his head back on the couch. “I’m ruining everything. I suck.”

“Theo sucks.”

“Yeah, he does.” Liam sighs. He peeks over at Mason. “Am I attractive?” 

Liam tries to picture himself. He’s not super short, but he’s a long way from being tall. His hair is sandy and kind of long, it’s probably time for a haircut. He’s not Kal levels of attractive, but he doesn’t think he’s hideous. 

The more he thinks about it, the worse his thoughts get.“Brett didn’t like me. Hayden barely liked me—we antagonized each other into a relationship and Theo… Theo doesn’t even want to be my friend anymore.” 

Oh, he’s moping again. 

Mason claps, loudly, right by Liam’s nose. “Okay, we’re stopping that train.” He pushes up to his feet. “Come on, get dressed.”

“Why?” 

“We’re going out.”

“Where?”

Mason holds up his phone. There’s a text from Corey on the screen. “A Party.”

Liam grumbles through the process of changing, of Mason messing with his hair until it's artfully tousled instead of just a mess. He cleans up okay, and that does make him feel better about where he sits on the attractive scale. He’s a hard seven now compared to the four he was stretching towards while sitting on the couch like a potato. 

“Getting drunk is what got me into this mess, you know,” Liam reminds Mason as they’re walking up to the house party. Liam can feel the steady bass of the music in his chest. “So, if something happens and I end up even more sad I’m going to blame you.”

Mason ignores him, texting fast and excited on his phone. 

“Good talk,” Liam grumbles. 

Mason looks up, stares at Liam hard, dragging his critical eye from Liam’s hair all the way down to his shoes. He nods. “Okay, now, go in there and flirt.”

Liam balks. “With who?’

“Anyone willing.”

He doesn’t get a chance to argue before Mason is shoving him through the door into the thick of the party. It’s just as loud and messy as it was last time. He hates it. Alcohol would help mute the sounds and smells, but Liam doesn’t bother with the flask Mason had slipped to him of aconite infused liquor. 

He frowns as he thinks about the last time he’d gotten drunk. Turning to Mason, he says, “Hey, last time, you were drunk too.”

Mason nods. “Yeah?”

“How did we get home?”

“Theo.” Mason peers through the crowd, searching for something. “He carried you to the car, I think Corey has a picture of it.”

“Oh.” Liam doesn’t remember that at all. 

Mason nods and then pats Liam on the back, “Come on, let’s have fun.”

Liam doesn’t have fun. Nor does he flirt with anyone or drink any of the liquor in his pocket. 

He does end up in the yard. It’s not as big as the last one and the sky isn’t clear tonight at all, but he still plops down in the grass all the same. He fiddles with the flask, twisting it around in his hands. He lost Mason to the dance floor, but that’s fine. He kind of wants to just exist here for a while. Think. Process. Grieve and move on from the loss of something he barely even had. 

It’s been just over two months since his confession and every week since has just been a new form of hell for Liam. Avoiding Theo, hanging with Theo, and now Theo avoiding him entirely. 

“Feelings suck,” he tells the wispy clouds overhead. 

He closes his eyes and just lays there for a really long time. So long that he can smell the shift in the weather as the clouds grow a little thicker, heavy with rain. He hears the rustle of grass beneath shoes and catches the familiar scent of Theo on the breeze. He squeezes his eyes tighter and wishes with everything he has that he’s asleep and this is just a very realistic nightmare. 

“It’s going to rain,” Theo tells him, voice quiet. 

Liam doesn’t say anything for a long time and Theo doesn’t move. Accepting that this is actually happening, Liam finally manages to croak out a rough, “I know.” 

“Plan on staying out here?”

Maybe,” Liam murmurs. “Why are you even here?”

Theo hates parties and he never drinks. He only ever comes to them because Liam makes him. And Liam definitely didn’t make him this time. 

Maybe Kal did. 

Liam wrinkles his nose. Is Kal here too? God, he hopes not. He’s too sober to deal with that. 

“Corey.”

“Oh.” 

Liam opens his eyes, and he finds Theo still standing, he’s staring right down at Liam. Their eyes meet for the first time in days. It's so eerily similar to that last time.

“You’re not drunk.” 

“No,” Liam pushes upright, fingers digging into the grass. He can’t see Theo behind him now. “Last time it didn’t go so well. I’ve learned my lesson.”

He waits for Theo to say something else. 

When he doesn’t, Liam says, “I know it’s going to rain, you don’t have to come to my rescue, I’m not going to drown in the yard.”

“If you managed to drown out here I would be impressed,” Theo says as he drops down next to Liam in the grass. 

“I’m an impressive guy,” Liam says automatically. He doesn’t let himself look over at Theo, instead he stares at his beat up converse. 

Theo is right there. Liam could stretch out his hand and he would be touching him. And, yet Liam misses him so much in this shared moment that he feels it like a physical ache in the cavity of his chest. 

“I should find Mason,” Liam says. 

“He’s with Corey.”

“Is that why you’re out here?” There’s a bitterness to the words Liam doesn’t want them to have. “Kal not here to keep you company?”

“He’s here somewhere, it’s his party.”

“What?” 

Mason hadn’t said anything about this being Kal’s place. 

Liam looks over at Theo. Theo is looking right at him. Liam freezes beneath that familiar gaze, his heart kicking up several notches. He swallows hard and forces himself to look away, his hands twisting together in his lap.

“If I stop,” Liam whispers into the space between them. “If I stop, can we be friends again?”

There’s a thoughtful moment of silence before Theo asks, “Can you stop?”

Liam doesn’t know, but he makes himself laugh anyway, makes himself say, “Someone thinks a little too highly of himself.”

“Someone has too.” Theo jokes back. 

“I do,” Liam says before he can stomp the words down. The truth of it rings between them, practically tangible with the emotion Liam invokes in the words. Fuck. 

Theo looks away, his hands curling into fists on his knees. 

Liam drags his eyes away, but they go right back to Theo. Quietly, he asks, “Why is that a bad thing?” 

“I didn’t say it was.”

“You didn’t have to.” Liam gestures towards Theo’s face. “I know you don’t like me, but is me liking you really such a problem? It’s not like I’m going to corner you or force you into anything. You’re not interested and I know that ‘no’ is a full answer, Theo.”

Theo’s fingers are tapping at the curve of his knee now. A fast irregular beat and Liam stares down at it in surprise. Theo does that when he’s angry, really angry and doesn’t want anyone to actually know it. 

Liam swallows nervously. “You’re mad,” he whispers. 

“I’m not.” 

Liam hears the lie in his heart beat.

“You are,” Liam says, stunned.”You’re mad that I like you?”

Theo exhales heavily. “You can’t like me, Liam.”

“I’m pretty sure I can, actually.” Liam blinks at him, confused now by this turn of conversation. “It’s kind of actively happening.”

“Actively.” Theo’s tone is flat. 

“Yeah,” Liam waves his hand between them. “Even right now, I like you.” Liam should stop talking, but he can’t get himself to be quiet. 

Theo’s face creases, his mouth going flat and his eyes going hard. He stands, but he doesn’t walk away. “You can’t be this stupid.”

“I can,” Liam says and then frowns. “I mean, I mean— shut up, I’m not being stupid.”

“You almost killed Scott because of me.” 

Yeah, Liam remembers. It’s something he doesn’t like to think about. “He’s fine now.”

Theo’s mouth twitches. “Liam.”

“What?” Liam huffs and pushes up to his feet too. It brings them closer together, just inches between them. “You don’t like me so I don’t understand what the problem is.”

“You don’t see the problem?” That just makes Theo angrier. He pokes Liam in the chest. “You ripped Scott to shreds Liam, because of what I did, what I said. You were kidnapped by the dread doctors, your girlfriend was murdered—Corey was murdered.”

“They were brought back to life,” Liam murmurs. “They’re fine now.”

“Right,” Theo nods, but his mouth is a cruel facsimile of a smile. “You really think Mason and Scott and Stiles are just going to be okay with you having feelings for me?”

“Mason is okay with it.” Liam smacks Theo’s poking hand away from his chest. “And what does that even matter? They're my feelings, Scott and Stiles don’t get a say in what I feel or who I feel it for.”

“Yeah, they’ll just stick me back in the ground.”

“They can’t—“

“They can.”

“No,” Liam says louder. “They can’t. I have the sword, Theo. You’re my responsibility remember? They can’t do anything about it, and even if I didn’t have the sword I wouldn’t let them do that to you.”

“You couldn’t stop them, Scott’s your alpha.” When Theo pokes him in the chest again Liam realizes his hands are shaking. 

Not mad, the realization barrels through Liam. Theo isn’t angry about this. He’s scared. 

“I would stop him,” Liam catches Theo’s hand, pressing it tight to his chest, where his heart is hammering. He doesn’t want Theo to just hear the truth of his words, he wants Theo to feel it. “I wouldn’t let Scott do that to you, I would stop him, Theo.”

“You shouldn’t.”

“Why?”

Theo scoffs. “Are any of the reasons I said not hint enough?”

“No,” Liam frowns. “Those are past offenses, Theo. Things that happened years ago.”

“I still did them.”

Liam nods. “Yeah, you did, but you paid that price and you haven’t done anything like that in years. You barely threaten people these days.” Liam stares at him, but Theo wont meet his eye. “If you were still that person, you wouldn’t care about this so much.” 

When Theo doesn’t say anything, Liam finally drops his hand. He lets Theo go. “I’ll stop… I’ll try to stop, if that's what you need, if that makes you feel better.”

“It’ll be hard,” Theo rolls his eyes, there’s no real amusement in his words. “I’m such a catch.”

A laugh bubbles out of Liam, sad and quiet. “Yeah, you are, but I’ll get over it.” He smiles and knows it's small and kind of pitiful looking. “I had a crush on Mason when we were kids, I got over it.”

Theo looks a little surprised by that, his nose wrinkles just a little, like he’s trying to picture what that would look like. “You shouldn’t tell Corey that.”

Liam steps back once, twice and nods. “Yeah, I don’t plan to.”

The space between them is wider than it ever usually is now. Liam hates it, but it’s better than never getting to see Theo. Liam crosses his arms over his chest and shivers as the breeze starts to pick up. 

They stand there, awkward, until the sky finally opens up and rain cascades down on them. 

Theo pushes his hair out of his face. “Need a ride home?”

Liam should say no, he should find Mason, but instead he agrees

The ride is short, but every second is quiet and tense. Liam doesn’t really know where they stand with each other and he doesn’t really understand Theo’s anger or his fear. Theo’s mad Liam likes him because of what Theo did in the past. Maybe he just thinks Liam is stupid. Maybe he likes smarter people. 

People like Kal with his perfect grades and his double major. 

They’re only a few blocks from Mason and Liam’s apartment when Liam clears his throat and says “So, you and Kal.”

His answer is surprising. “Nothing is going on there.”

“Really?” Liam asks. “But Kal is so…you know.”

“He doesn’t let anyone forget it,” Theo mumbles. “Still, not my type.” 

“Thought pretty was your type.”

“It is.” Theo turns the corner. 

Liam stares at Theo’s profile. “Kal is pretty, like super pretty.” 

“Yeah.” Theo glances over at him. “He’s just not impressive enough.”

“No wonder I don't have a chance,” Liam says as lightly as he can. “Your standards are too high.”

Theo rolls his eyes. “My standards are fine,” He pulls into the little spot designated for guests. “Your standards are the issue here.”

“I like my standards,” Liam says. 

I’m doing so well, he thinks. He’s getting a good grade in normalcy, in friendship. If they keep this up, maybe they will be okay. Maybe Liam can move past this and find someone who will actually like him back for once. 

“I need your standards to be higher.” Theo puts the truck into park but doesn’t kill the engine. He looks over at Liam. 

An incredulous laugh leaves Liam. “Seriously? I think I should stay in my ballpark, if I swing any higher I’ll be alone forever. I’m not exactly attractive enough to reach any further, Theo.”

“You’re fine.”

“A ringing endorsement, really, thanks,” Liam tells him dryly. 

Theo rolls his eyes. “You're pretty.” 

But not pretty enough, Liam thinks. He's not even close to Kal. He has to be so far beneath Theo’s radar it’s embarrassing. 

“Thanks,” Liam tells him and pushes open his door. He’s about to slam it closed when Theo calls out his name. He stops the door from closing, peeking back through it. “What?”

Theo pauses, his teeth catching at his lip. He looks serious. “I need your standards to be higher.”

“Why?”

Theo looks away. “Because we’re friends.” 

“Are we?” Liam hates how desperate for it he sounds. 

“Yeah.”

“Okay,” Liam promises. “I’ll raise my standards.” 

“Good.”

Liam doesn’t really raise his standards. He’s not sure how he’s supposed to when he’s only interested in Theo. 

He flirts though, lets Mason take him to more parties and he doesn’t go outside alone, he mingles, talking to classmates and showing interest in them. 

He’s gotten a few numbers, but he hasn’t done a single thing with them. 

He can’t convince himself to call when he’s so wrapped up in another person. 

It just doesn’t feel right. 

He and Theo don’t go right back to how they were. It’s tentative, on both sides. 

Liam doesn’t go to the library anymore, not on Tuesday, but he’s there on Wednesday afternoon in the stretch between his third and fourth class. He has an hour and half to kill and he really is starting to fall behind in Bio. He’s been sitting at a different table for a few minutes, nursing a coffee that’s too bitter to be worth drinking when someone takes the seat opposite him. 

“Hey,” Kal says with a bob of his head. “Liam, right?”

Liam goes still, coffee halfway to his mouth. “Yeah.”

Kal grins and Liam can feel himself go warm at the sight of it. His teeth are perfect. “I’m Kal.” 

Liam nods, sets his coffee back on the table and says, a little confused, “Theo’s not here.”

“I know,” Kal leans back in his chair. “I’m not here for Theo, I’m here to see you.”

“Me?” Liam points at himself. “Why?”

“I’m working on a hypothesis,” Kal drawls, his voice is warm, almost sultry as he speaks. “Just needed your help to test a few theories.”

“I’m awful at science,” Liam says quickly, blinking past the hazy feeling that’s starting to cloud around his head every time his eyes meet Kal’s. “Like, really bad, so I don’t think I’m your guy.”

“I think you’re perfect,” Kal tells him easily, and then he winks. 

Liam burns beneath the compliment, his breath catching in his throat. “I… uh.”

Kal tips his head towards Liam, like he’s about to share a secret. “You have very nice eyes, so blue, like the ocean in summer.”

“Thanks?” It comes out like a question, whispered in the disappearing space between them. Why is Kal leaning over the table so far, why is Liam?

Kal’s head tips to the side, his dark eyes flitting towards the row of shelves and Liam blinks when he sees Theo appear from around the bend of them. 

“Ah, here’s our constant,” Kal murmurs. “Let's see how he reacts to the variable.” 

Kal reaches across the table and touches Liam’s hand, it's huge in comparison. Soft. Liam stares at his perfect knuckles and feels weirdly self conscious about the remnants of scars left on his own from his human days. 

Theo’s steps come to an abrupt stop, his eyes narrowed at the point of contact between Liam and Kal. For just a moment Liam sees gold in his eyes. There and gone. Kal brushes his thumb over Liam’s fingers and Theo moves, steps mechanic, angry towards the table. 

“This isn’t what I meant when I told you to raise your standards,” Theo says.

At the sound of Theo’s voice, Liam startles. He jerks his hand away from Kal, his back going ramrod straight from where he had been hunching closer and closer. “What?” 

Kal grins, backing off easily, lounging back in his chair. He looks up, eyes all doe like innocence. “Theo, what a surprise.”

“Fuck off, Flounder,” Theo tells Kal and his eyes do flicker gold. An unsubtle warning that has Liam sucking in a breath. 

“Theo,” Liam looks between him and Kal but Kal only lets out a laugh. It’s a rumbling sound, like crashing waves and Liam feels his stomach swoop. 

“Always so cruel,” Kal says softly, but he doesn’t look hurt by Theo’s harsh tone. He turns back to Liam, fixing him beneath those depthless eyes. “Thank you for your help, Liam.”

“I don’t think I did anything.”

“Oh you did,” Kal gives him a secret little smile. He stands and with a furtive glance at Theo he leans across the table and presses a kiss to the corner of Liam’s mouth. “See you soon.”

Kal pulls away and Liam is breathless, his heart pounding in surprise. “Okay,” Liam says, voice cracking. 

Kal grins again, like Liam is the funniest person to ever exist, and then he’s patting a growling Theo on the shoulder and walking away. 

“Um,” Liam says, eyes suck to the broad stretch of Kal’s shoulders, the strong line of his spine, his ass. “He’s…something.”

“A menace.” 

“And?” Liam prods, clearing his throat and dragging his eyes away. He blinks rapidly, feeling more and more clear headed as he stares at Theo. “He’s not human, is he?” 

“A siren.” Theo doesn’t look happy at all. “They feed on strong emotions.” 

“Oh,” Liam’s never met one of those, but he’s heard Stiles talk about them. He wonders, suddenly, just how many other creatures attend this school. He’s never really paid attention, Deaton said that universities were neutral territory for creatures and that they would more than likely run into quite a few different species. 

“What were you two talking about?” Theo asks suddenly. 

Liam thinks, trying to remember. It feels almost like a dream. “He said he was working on a hypothesis.” 

Theo mumbles beneath his breath, something harsh about fishes. “Stay away from him.” 

“I didn’t approach him.” Liam huffs.“He’s the one that showed up out of nowhere wanting my help.” 

“He doesn’t want help, he wants a snack.” Theo drops down in the empty chair across from him, arms crossing over his chest. “You still don't know how to regulate your emotions, you’re a bowl of mixed goods to someone like him.” 

“Sorry,” Liam says sarcastically. He frowns. “If they feed on emotions then why was he hanging out with you?” 

He realizes how bad that sounds the moment it leaves his mouth, he back tracks. “I mean I know you have emotions but you just— I mean you can hide them— I mean I never smell anything…”

“It’s not about smell,” Theo shrugs. “It’s something else.” 

“So he was all over you for weeks because?” 

Theo’s expression goes blank. “Fun.” 

“Fun?” Liam asks and then flushes. “Oh, oh.” 

“Not that kind of fun, Liam.” Theo snorts, but he looks away. 

“So he likes how you taste?” Liam asks and goes so hot he thinks he might melt. “I mean, your emotions. He likes your emotions.”

“Yeah.”

Liam wonders what Theo’s emotions are like. He’s never been able to smell them and Theo keeps them so close to his chest that most of them don't even show on his face. He’s a vault of secrets Liam’s always wanted to open, but knows he’s never going to be allowed to see that deeply into Theo. Theo doesn’t want him to. 

“Should I run away if he approaches me again?”

“Call me.”

“What?”

“If he shows up again, call me, I’ll deal with him.” 

Liam gives Theo a skeptical look. “How are you going to deal with him?”

“Decapitation might be fun,” Theo says idly. “Never got around to that when I was evil.”

Was. Liam smiles down at his books. 

“What’s that face for?” Theo asks and there's a suspicious look in his eyes. 

“Nothing.”

“Liar.”

“Yeah, but it’s probably better that you don’t know.” Liam lets those words hang between them. “Since we’re friends.”

Theo’s eyes drag down Liam’s face, pausing somewhere near his chin before he nods and looks away. “Fine.”

Liam picks at the corner of his textbook. “Were you here to meet Kal?”

“No.” 

“Then why are you here?” Liam asks, looking pointedly at Theo. He doesn’t have anything with him. No books or bags or binders. If he’s here to study then he came unprepared.

For a moment, Liam thinks Theo isn’t going to answer, but then he’s pulling out his phone and opening it up. He taps something and then turns the phone around to Liam. It's a text thread from someone named GUPPY. There’s several sporadic texts and a picture of Liam, head bent over his text book, pen caught between his teeth. 

He’s so cute.

Smells complicated. All spicy with emotions. 

Might just eat him. 😋 

Liam frowns at the messages. “Kal sent you that?”

Theo nods. 

“And you…came to stop him from eating me?”

“He’s like a leech.” Theo grumbles. “He’s hard to get rid of once he’s attached.”

Liam snorts. “My hero.”

Theo tips his chair back, balancing on the two back legs and flips Liam off. 

Liam laughs. 

Theo doesn’t leave, he just props his chin on his hand and scrolls on his phone while Liam studies. Occasionally he points out what Liam is doing wrong. 

Their Tuesday sessions become Wednesday sessions, just like that. 

“So you’re friends again?” Mason looks confused. 

“I think so.” Liam gives a little shrug. “He said we were friends and he stayed for an hour last week to help me study.”

Corey snorts out a quiet laugh from the couch. 

Liam turns to him. “What?”

“The thing with Kal,” Corey says. “It just sounds like Theo was jealous.”

“He said he isn’t interested in Kal.”

“You.” Corey points at him. “Theo is interested in you.”

“He's not.” Liam shuts that train of thought down hard. “He doesn’t see me like that, he said so.”

“Yeah, because Theo never lies.” Corey rolls his eyes. He pins Liam with a look, “What did Theo say when you talked about standards?”

“That I need to raise mine,” Liam says. 

“Is that exactly what he said?”

Liam thinks about the drive home, Theo stopping him before he could shut the truck door. “He said, I need you to have higher standards.” 

Corey leans back on the couch, expression thoughtful. “Word for word?”

Liam nods. “Yeah.”

“Hmm,” Corey’s eyes drift up to the ceiling, following a concerning wet spot. “Why?”

Liam shrugs. “I don’t know, because he doesn’t think I should like him since he’s an ex-murderer.” 

Corey nods. “He doesn't want you to like him because he used to kill people for fun, that’s valid. So, he thinks you deserve better than him.”

“That's what I just said,” Liam mumbles. 

Corey drops his attention from the ceiling, his bright eyes finding Liam’s. They’re surprisingly serious. “Yeah, but I don’t think you’re really hearing any of it. He needs you to have higher standards.”

Frustration burns through Liam. “I get that. He said it twice. I’m trying.”

“No, no, listen,” Corey waves his hands, sitting up straighter. “Liam. He needs you to have higher standards.”

“Are you just going to keep repeating things?” Liam asks. 

The sigh Corey gives is almost offensive, long suffering. Like Liam is being a chore. “What happens if your standards are higher, Liam?”

“I’ll be alone forever.”

“No.”

Mason laughs, his attention darts between both Liam and Corey, watching them with rapt attention and a dawning realization in his eyes. “Oh, oh, I see.” 

Corey grins. “Come on, answer the question, Liam. What happens if you raise your standards?”

Liam rolls his eyes. “Then I’ll aim higher than Theo.”

“Right.” Corey nods quickly. “Go on.”

“I won’t want him anymore,” Liam says, like he doesn’t really believe it. He can’t imagine just moving on, not when he feels so much. 

“Exactly!” Corey seems so excited now. 

Liam looks at him and then over at Mason who seems just as thrilled by this line of thought. “Can you just get to the point?”

Mason’s voice is soft. “Theo wants you, but doesn’t think he deserves you.”

‘What does that have to do with my standards?” Liam is lost. 

“I think you wanting him is a temptation he doesn’t know how to resist in the long game, so he wants the choice to be with you removed by you wanting someone who isn’t him.”

“So you’re saying he is interested in me but doesn’t want to be with me because he thinks he’s a bad guy.”

“Yes.”

Liam makes a face at Corey. “Why didn’t you just say that from the beginning, you’re worse than Deaton.” He points at Corey, “And, no, just no, that is such a stretch. Do you even hear yourselves?”

“It’s Theo.” Corey shrugs. “He’s kind of an idiot at times, this is the type of shit he would do.”

“That’s—” Liam shakes his head. “No.”

“Think about it.” 

Liam doesn’t want to, but he does. He thinks about that whole conversation in the backyard. Theo’s anger, Theo's fear, his shaking hands. He sees it in a different light. “I don’t want to get my hopes up.”

“It’s your hopes or your standards,” Corey says and slouches back into the couch like the whole conversation was exhausting. 

Liam corners Kal. 

He knows he’s supposed to be staying away from him per Theo’s orders, but Theo isn’t his boss. 

“Hello,” Kal says smoothly when Liam catches his sleeve and pulls him into an empty classroom. He grins down at Liam. “This is such a pleasant surprise.”

Liam shakes his head. “Stop that.”

Kal pouts and sits back on one of the desks. “What can I do for you, Liam?”

“I want to know Theo’s emotions.”

A smooth black brow arches. “Isn’t that a question for Theo?”

“Yeah, but he’s a compulsive liar.” Liam crosses his arms over his chest. “You stuck to him like glue for weeks.”

“Oh, jealousy, how yummy.” Kal breathes in deep. 

“Look, I just… Can you tell what he feels for me?” Liam asks, slumping. 

“I can.”

“Is, is he really not interested in me? At all?” 

“He tastes bittersweet, like dark chocolate, almost made my stomach hurt,” Kal hums to himself. “I tend to overindulge.” 

“That tells me absolutely nothing.” 

“Desire is sweet. Grief is sour, terror is so bitter it makes you sick.” Kal says idly. “Theo is so intensely bittersweet I couldn’t help but stick to him.” He makes a noise in the back of his throat like he’s remembering the taste. “That day in the library, when you saw us sitting together, I had to leave before he made me puke my guts up.” 

“How do you know that wasn't because you were there?” Liam asks. 

“Because before you got there he just tasted like…popcorn,” Kal waves a hand. “He’s so annoyed by my very presence, it’s like burnt kernels most of the time.”

“Oh.”

“Do you get it?” Kal asks. 

“I think so.” Liam reaches into his pocket to pull out his phone, snaps a picture of Kal sitting on the desk with his legs spread wide and a smile on his face and sends it to Theo. 

His phone rings not even a second later. When he answers it Theo says, “I said to call me. Where are you?”

“Third floor of the language building.” Liam says and then hangs up.

Theo calls him back twice, but Liam just lets it ring. 

“Oh,” Kal’s eyes go half-lidded and Liam wonders what exactly he’s tasting. He licks his lips like it’s good and says, “This is new.” 

“You can leave now.” Liam shoos him off. “Before Theo gets here and decapitates you.”

Karl snorts like that isn’t a probability and Liam wonders how much Kal knows about Theo. Not enough to know that it could be true. Still, Kal slides off the desk and stretches like he’s just had a gourmet meal. 

“Thanks for lunch,” Kal says as he drifts past, hand touching the small of Liam’s back as he moves around him to get to the door. 

Liam watches the door close behind Kal, and waits. He settles himself on the same desk Kal had been sitting on and lets the seconds tick by. This is the last shot he’s taking. If it goes bad then Liam isn’t sure what he’ll actually do. Cry and drop out of college probably, but he’s hoping… he’s really really hoping it goes well. 

It doesn’t take long before the door is swinging open again, Theo’s eyes flashing gold. He pauses when he sees Liam, the gold burning back to hazel green. 

Liam nods at Theo. “Hey,” he says dry mouthed and nervous.

Theo stands just inside the doorway. There’s accusation in his eyes as he says, “You don’t have any classes in this building, Liam.”

Liam hadn’t expected to be caught like that so quick. “I know, but Kal does.” 

Theo’s head tilts and the accusation turns assessing. “You cornered him.”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“I needed his help.”

Theo’s mouth goes thin. “With?”

Liam ignores the question. “Why don’t you want Kal around me? I mean, I know he feeds on emotions, but he seems harmless.”

Theo looks around the room, then steps further inside, letting the door fall closed behind him. “He doesn’t know how to mind his own business.”

“That’s hardly evil.”

“It’s problematic.” Theo leans against the wall across from Liam. “Where is he?”

“I told him to go away.”

“And he listened?”

“Well I bought him lunch first.” Liam snorts, waves a vague hand through the air. “He told me some interesting things though.”

Theo goes tense. “What kind of things?”

“How emotions taste.” Liam slips off the desk. “He told me how you taste to him. Like dark chocolate.” 

“So?” 

Liam steps closer and he watches Theo move like he wants to step away. Liam stops, just inches from him and meets Theo’s eyes. 

Last chance, he reminds himself and prepares for whatever answer he gets. 

“I like you,” he says again. Not drunk this time. Not hushed in a library. He says it Out loud and unavoidable. 

“And I said you need—“ 

“To raise my standards,” Liam cuts him off, nodding. “I know.” 

“I don’t want to raise my standards. I like you and if you really don’t like me back that’s fine, I’ll get over it, but…” here he pauses and hopes he doesn’t sound crazy. “I think you do like me— Mason and Corey think so too.”

“They’re wrong.”

Liam’s laugh is small and a little bitter. “Yeah I thought that too until I talked to Kal.” 

“Yeah?” Theo’s voice is gruff, itching for a fight.”

“yeah.” Liam murmurs not raising to the bait. “Karl said you taste like dark chocolate. Like want and fear and that you only taste that way when you see me.”

Theo looks away. “That doesn't mean anything.”

Liam stares at him but Theo won’t meet his eye and Liam hates that he’s never mastered the art of reading people. 

“Theo,” Liam’s voice is quiet. “this is the last time we talk about it.”

Theo looks at him. 

“I like you,” Liam says for the very last time. “if you really don’t want anything to do with me, that’s fine, but if you do and you're staying away because of past transgressions then just tell me that.”

“You can have better.”

“You are better.” Liam argues. “You’ve been better for a long time.”

“I’m not, Liam,” there’s anger in Theo’s voice now, real anger. Or maybe it’s fear. “you deserve someone who doesn’t have blood on their hands.”

Liam catches Theo hand, turns it over in his and drags his fingers across the palm. “When is the last time these hands hurt someone? Killed someone?” 

“That’s—“

“When?” Liam asks determinedly.

“I don’t remember.”

“Liar,” Liam shakes his head. “You do remember. It’s been years, Theo.” He traces the life line. “When is the last time these hands have saved someone?”

Theo doesn’t answer the question. 

So Liam does it for him.

“You saved me in October last year, these hands pushed me out of the way and you got hurt instead. You almost died, Deaton said you flatlined twice. You saved Corey in January and some kids in the preserve in March, from a bear. Not even anything supernatural. Just a regular bear, Theo.”

Theo’s hand curls around Liam’s. He squeezes.

“I want you, Theo.” Liam steps closer, their chests bump together, each breath driving them into one another. His heart is hammering. “Do you want me?”

Theos jaw clenches, but he nods. Once. It’s more than enough. 

Liam’s heart trips, stumbles and nearly stops.

“Idiot.” He reaches up, catching Theo by the back of the head and kisses him.

Kal grins when he sees them in the Quad an hour later. He leaves the group of people he’d had enraptured in conversation and bounds over to them all long limbed and sparkly eyed. 

“You two worked it out,” he says knowingly. 

Liam flushes but nods.”Theo was being an idiot.”

Theo rolls his eyes. “The only idiot here is you.”

Kal watches raptly, eyes darting between them before landing on Theo and saying, teasingly. “You taste all syrupy sweet now, you know?” Kal grins wider. “Seriously it’s so sweet—“

Liam watches as Theo’s ears go red seconds before Theo pushes Kal into a thatch of rose bushes. Theo takes Liam's hand and tugs him away. 

Kal continues yelling. “Oh, it’s even sweeter now.”

Theo flips him off with his free hand, holding tightly to Liam with the other one. 

Maybe they are both idiots actually, both him and Theo. At least they’re pretty perfect for each other, evenly matched, neither higher than the other as far as standards go.