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“I’m still not sure why we agreed to do this.”
“Oh, come on, Gav,” Nelson sighed. In spite of his attempts to look irritated with his husband’s whining, he was smiling. “Richard’s barely slept all week trying to plan Christmas. Watching his kid for a couple hours while he takes a nap is the least we can do. He figured out how to make a ham for us.”
“I thought Jared was the one that cooked?”
“Either way. It was nice of both of them.” Nelson bounced Avery on his knee, and the baby squealed with delight. “Besides, she’s cute.
“She’s a little vomit monster,” Gavin sniffed. “A little vomit monster who cries and shits herself every twenty minutes.”
“She’s a baby, Gavin. It’s not like she can control it. And look at her!” Nelson hoisted Avery up in front of his face and put on a tiny, squeaky voice. “I wuv you, Unky Gavin! Pwease give me a hug!”
“Absolutely not.”
“Pweaaaaaase, Unky Gavin? Just give me a widdle cuddle!”
“You do realize I can tell that she’s not the one talking, right?”
“I don’t bite, Unky Gavin! And I’ve got such cute, fat cheeks and I’m soooo squishy! I’m vewy vewy huggable!”
“… You’re not going to stop, are you.”
“Absowutely not!”
Gavin sighed and held out his arms. “Just give me the Goddamn baby.”
Nelson beamed, passing Avery into Gavin’s arms. “She’s not a bomb, dude, she’s a baby. You can cuddle her.”
“I don’t like cuddling,” Gavin said through gritted teeth.
“What? Bullshit. We cuddle all the time.”
“You’re an adult!”
“And she’s a baby! What’s your point? Now hold her nice.”
“Jesus fucking Christ,” Gavin growled under his breath. Awkwardly, he wrapped his arms around the little girl. Avery cooed softly and nestled into his arms, her big blue eyes fluttering up at him. “Wow, look at those eyelashes.”
“Crazy long, right? She could power a wind turbine by blinking.”
“No kidding.” Avery yawned, her little pink mouth stretched into a small oval, her tiny fists waving. In spite of himself, Gavin gently tickled her tummy with his index finger. She let out a surprised giggle and squirmed.
“You’re smiling, Gav.”
“No I’m not.”
“You totally are. Admit it, you like babies.”
“I like this baby,” Gavin corrected. He pulled Avery in close, breathing in the sweet, powdery smell of baby shampoo. “Don’t go getting any ideas, Nel, I still don’t want a child.”
“Oh, God, dude, me either. I can’t remember to pick up milk from the store. I’d be a shit dad. And no offense, but you’re way too angry to be a parent.”
“Yeah,” Gavin agreed. He tapped Avery’s small, soft nose. “It might be nice to spend more time around kids, though. When they’re not screaming.”
“We should.” Nelson smirked. “Plus, we get to be the uncles that buy her a bunch of irritating gifts that Richard and Jared have to put up with all the time. Have you ever seen a kid watch The Wiggles? That’s borderline torture.”
Gavin’s smile turned mischievous, even as he heard Richard starting to stagger back downstairs into the living room. “I think I could handle babysitting a little more often, then.”