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It was only three weeks ago that Phil had realized why his heart beat so fast when he was near Dan. It was only three weeks ago when he realized that it was okay. It was only three weeks ago that he knew he was in love with his best friend. Dan had meant so much to Phil in every way imaginable.
They had been friends for years. Since they were just children. Now Dan was turning seventeen in a day, and Phil had been 18 for nearly 6 months. The time had flown by between sleepless nights together, laughter, and enjoying each other’s company.
Over time, Phil had fallen for the way that Dan’s eyes crinkled when he laughed. He had fallen for the way that Dan was his true self around Phil. It was astounding to see the way someone puts on a show for people and then to watch them strip themselves of their fake smile and cheery personality.
He had grown to cling to every moment that he was able to have with Dan. He was so lucky to have met such a wonderful boy. He was so lucky that he had Dan. He smiled just at the thought of Dan.
He knew he was too deep in love with him to back out. Whenever a love song came on, he wasn't emotionally detached. He immediately thought of Dan. Dan was his everything.
Dan had slept over that night so that he could wake up with Phil on his birthday. They had spent all night together playing various games on their laptops and browsing the internet. Dan laughed as he pointed out a terrible pun.
They sat near each other, just enjoying each other’s company. Occasionally one would comment on something. This was one of Phil’s favorite parts of his relationship with Dan. They were able to sit in silence comfortably. He stood up.
“Hey, do you want a snack or anything?” Phil asked.
“Yeah, sure. Do you have any cereal?”
“You read my mind, Howell.” Phil headed to his kitchen to get their favorite snack and breakfast food. When he got back to his bedroom, Dan was in the same position he had been in before. Phil had been debating telling Dan about his feelings since the moment he found out.
“I come bearing food,” Phil announced, earning an excited look from Dan.
“Mmmm” Dan shut his laptop and reached over to the bowl Phil had. Now was the moment. If he didn’t say it now, he would never say it.
“Can I… can I talk to you about something?” Phil asked, looking towards the ground.
“Sure. What’s wrong, Philly?” Dan asked. He smiled at the affectionate nickname that dan had chosen for him.
“Well, um, I kind of um...I don’t think I can do this” Phil ran a hand through his messy hair.
“You know you can talk with me about anything, Phil” Dan’s eyebrows tugged in concern. He shifted closer and put his hand on Phil’s leg. Phil’s skin buzzed where Dan touched him
“I love you in a way thats more than friends but im scared to death to tell you” Phil mumbled out too quickly to be heard.
“What?” Dan looked confused. “What did you say?” Phil just shook his head until it felt like it was going to fall off. Dan held him as tears rolled down his face, leaving streaks. He cried into Dan’s shoulder for what seemed like a long time. Dan deserved better. Why would he ever want Phil? Why should he even try? Phil sniffled.
“I’m sorry, Dan. I didn’t mean to ruin your birthday. What I was trying to say before I fell apart was that I love you. And I know that it’s a normal thing for friends. to love each other, but I mean this in a different way. I love you so much that when I think of you my heart leaps. When I’m not with you my chest hurts. I love you so much that I can’t even imagine losing you. So if you don’t love me, I understand, but please, please stay my friend.” Phil collected himself as he talked on. He wiped his nose, and broke the eye contact that he somehow held throughout the entire monologue.
“Oh, Phil,” Dan softly rested his hand on Phil’s cheek, and moved Phil’s head to meet his gaze. “I want to ask you for a very special birthday present. It would mean a lot to me…” Dan trailed off.
“Oh, okay?” Phil didn’t see what this had to do with anything, but he didn’t want to deny Dan of any requests he had.
“Kiss me.” Dan leaned in and slowly caressed Phil’s face. Phil exhaled a shaky breath and lifted his hands to Dan’s face. Phil closed the distance between them. In their small moment Phl felt a million emotions spilling into his brain. He felt the heat of Dan’s lips against his own.
He felt it as Dan climbed into his lap, and opened Phil’s lips with his tongue. He felt so hyperaware. He leaned back onto his bed, and Dan straddled him. They felt like they were in their own little universe. It was perfect.
He moved his hands from Dan’s face down to the small of his back. Dan sighed contentedly into Phil’s mouth. Phil bit Dan’s bottom lip playfully, and tugged at it with his teeth. He felt Dan’s eyelashes batting against his skin. He couldn't get enough if Dan. He tried to pull Dan closer.Phil broke the kiss for a moment.
“Do you want to talk about this? I don’t want to push you into anything.” Phil asked.
“I mean I guess we should…” Dan’s eyes lingered on Phil’s kissed raw lips.
“Do you love me? I mean, I guess I understand if it’s a no. I would hope it’s a yes but. Actually, I should stop talking right now.” He hoped it was a yes. If it was anything but a yes, he might break down again.
“I… I don’t think I love you yet. But I couldn’t bear to imagine life without you. I feel like i could love you so much. I already do. You know how much you mean to me. You’re my whole world. I want to be your whole world as well. I wouldn’t mind being your boyfriend either.” Dan smirked.
“Oh,” Phil smiled. “Would you be okay with being… with being my boyfriend?”
“I would be more than okay with that. In fact, I would love that more than almost anything. Can we get back to kissing now? I don’t think I can wait another second.”
“Definitely.” Phil pinned him, and crashed his lips against Dan’s.
He woke up feeling blissful. He didn’t know why for a moment, but then he remembered. He had a boyfriend now. He couldn't believe that things had worked out. How likely was it that his presumably straight best friend was actually willing to give him a chance?
He felt Dan’s arm shift around his waist. They had made out until they were too tired to even make the effort anymore. They had fallen asleep cuddling. They wanted to see each other when they woke up.
Phil looked at Dan’s sleeping face. He was so peaceful. He looked at rest. He looked like he didnt have any cares in the world. But today was the day that his boyfriend was turning 17. He closed his eyes and savored the moment. He was finally happy with the way things were in his life.
He lightly brushed Dan’s cheek with his lips. This was enough to stir the boy awake. He sighed. Dan’s eyes lit up as soon as he saw Phil’s smiling face. Dan looked like a puppy.
“I don’t want to get out of bed,” Dan moaned. “I just wanna lay here all day with you.” Dan closed his eyes and pulled the covers up.
“But it’s your 17th birthday!” Phil whisper shouted.
“I know, but there’s nothing I’d rather do than lay here beside you.” Dan looked into Phil’s beryl eyes.
“There’s nowhere I’d rather be than here with you” Phil responded before bringing his lips to meet Dan’s.