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"Aargh!" John hit the music stand in front of him, which he instantly regretted as soon as a sharp pain throbbed through his fingers. "F sharp!" He reminded himself in an annoyed growl. "F sharp John!" He sighed as he picked up the pencil which was lying on the music stand to mark in a reminder onto the sheet of notation paper. It had been too long since he had played his clarinet last, and now he was ruing the day that he had stopped playing when he went to university. He had never been virtuosic on it or anywhere near the kind of standard that Sherlock was on his violin, but he was competent and had a level of proficiency that had allowed him to play in several orchestras while he had been in high school. That felt like a lifetime ago now he was trying to practise again… His fingers had vaguely fallen back into place once he had given it a little bit of thought, but accidentals still threw a spin on his brain.
'D, E, D, A, G, F sharp.' He halted again as his fingers fumbled to remember the key for F sharp. He knew once he had mastered the basics again that this piece shouldn't pose too much of a problem, but right now it seemed almost an insurmountable challenge. His current desire was to throw the sheet of music across the room. If this had just been any old piece he would have probably chucked it in the bin by now and resigned himself to the knowledge that his abilities on the clarinet were now extinct. But as he raised the mouth piece to his lips he reminded himself why he was torturing himself over this specific piece of music. The title of the piece alone was enough to convince him to attempt this particularly tricky phrase for what felt like the thousandth time:
'For JW, from SH x'
The title made John's heart rise so high that it felt like it was in his mouth and he felt giddy. To know that Sherlock had spent time – weeks he had said – composing a piece of music that both of them could play meant the world to John.
He had been experiencing feelings that were definitely more than just friendship for Sherlock for quite some time, but he had been incredibly reluctant to expose those feelings to Sherlock… He had gotten the impression that Sherlock would have ignored him completely out of discomfort if he had told him… But after one late, and very drunk, night fumble, everything had changed between the two of them. At first the idea of a relationship with anyone and the connotations that came along with it absolutely terrified Sherlock… But when he came to the realisation that John and he still had the same kind of relationship as before – now with the added bonus of sex – he accepted it. He was still the same Sherlock Holmes, and John was still the same John Watson – but now the two of them shared a deeper, much more soulful connection which added to everything they did. They had been in a relationship for over a year now, and it had touched John that Sherlock had given him something incredibly personal for their anniversary. For that reason, he was going to work as hard as he possibly could to get this piece right and be able to play it with Sherlock. It was more than just music to John…
John was an impatient man – and when he felt that he wasn't showing improvement quick enough he became infuriated at himself. There were bursts when he would be so angered at the music itself that he struggled to look at it. But he was always calmed himself down eventually and got back to practising those bars in which he struggled most.
On two separate occasions while John was practising by himself in his room, he could hear the solitary strings of Sherlock's violin – ringing out pure soft notes throughout the entire flat. And when he heard Sherlock playing he wondered whether he was practising his part so they could play together.
It took John a long time to get anywhere near a decent standard that he could have enough nerve to play in front of Sherlock. The first time that he felt like he was progressing any he had made the small step of leaving his bedroom door open while he practised. With the knowledge that Sherlock could potentially hear every note that he got wrong and he panicked, making double as many mistakes as he had been previously… But it built his confidence, Sherlock wouldn't think any less of him because he made a couple of mistakes – it would show that he was trying.
Sherlock loved hearing the sound of John playing his clarinet. John had repeated categorically that it was a long time ago since he had last placed and that he was useless in comparison to Sherlock; but Sherlock disagreed hugely… John had a particularly light touch on the notes, there was a depth and quality of his pitch that not many musicians managed to achieve. It gave Sherlock chills to hear John practising the piece that he had written for them; he desperately wanted to play it with John, but he didn't want to push John into doing anything before he was ready. So he waited, as patiently as he could, for John to approach him.
It was over a month before John plucked up the courage to speak to Sherlock about the piece, and maybe that they should play together. When he did bring the subject up, Sherlock seemed pleased – there was a look in his grinning face that totally gave away his desire to play with John.
The final act for John to convince himself that he was going to play along with Sherlock was him bringing his music stand down from his bedroom into the sitting room – and it felt like a massive step as he manoeuvred the legs of the stand into the room through the narrow door. And now they were both standing in the same room – John clutching his clarinet with a rather sweaty hand and Sherlock with his violin proper up on his shoulder already.
"Let's just give it a try…" John suggested, wishing that he could have been back upstairs in his bedroom with the door shut again. Sherlock allowed John to lead the pace, but he was stumbling over his own notes in listening to John… John really was utterly amazing; the amount of effort that he had put in on making this piece perfect – Sherlock had been listening to him improving every day and could hardly believe how good he had gotten. The expression on his face as he concentrated deeply on the music in front of him, made Sherlock just want to throw down his violin and wrap his arms around John. They reached the end of the piece and Sherlock could hardly contain himself; he placed his violin gently on the seat of his armchair – his breath was catching in his chest because John had just proved how fantastic he was. John was biting his bottom lip looking rather nervous and his eyes were focused on the metal rim of the music stand. Sherlock wrapped his hand around the clarinet that John was still holding tightly and prised it out of John's grip, laying it on the table next to them. He wrapped his arms around John's waist and pulled him towards him, their lips meeting in a kiss.
"You are wonderful." Sherlock whispered when they parted. "I love you."