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The sunbeams that were slowly creeping in through the almost closed window blinds were starting get close to Bojan's eyes. He shifted in bed slightly. It was morning. Maybe. He didn't really know since he hadn't looked at his phone since waking up. He didn't even really know how long he'd been awake. Could be ten minutes, could be an hour. Anyway, Bojan had much more important things to do than worrying about the time.
For example, looking at the person next to him. Jere was still sleeping, his bare chest moving slowly up and down with every breath. His soft snoring and humming was like music to Bojan's ears. Could anybody ever be unhappy while this man was near? Bojan seriously doubted it. Even when he was unconscious, Jere illuminated the room more than the morning sun ever could. Perhaps it was only Bojan who felt this strongly about the Finn, but he didn't really care. He was here to admire Jere in all his glory. Bojan couldn't help but grin thinking about what the other might say if he heard Bojan's thoughts spoken aloud. But Bojan couldn’t help himself, he was a hopeless romantic and he figured that all the affectionate roasting between the two of them was enough to make up for his own sappy thoughts.
Bojan let his eyes wander over the naked body in front of him. It was getting exceedingly difficult to not reach out and touch it. He didn't want to wake Jere up but decided enough was enough. He'd already held out for so long! Or perhaps not that long, he didn't know. Every second he spent looking at Jere without being able to touch him, to feel him, was torture. But now he actually could. They were here, together, even if it was only for a week.
Bojan started softly stroking Jere's arm, caressing his biceps and letting his fingers wander to his hands. His fingers ghosted over Jere's knuckles, feeling every bit of skin, every hair. Bojan tried to commit it all to memory, tried to engrave the image of Jere into his brain, so he could always look at him, could always feel him, no matter where he was.
Apparently, Bojan had been so focused on Jere's hands that he hadn't paid attention to his face. Because suddenly, half-open, stormy blue eyes were looking at him. Or at least they were trying to do so. The Finn was clearly still very sleepy and barely managed to keep his eyes open.
Bojan started to pepper soft kisses on Jere's fingers.
“Good morning,” he whispered against them. Jere just grunted as a sign that he had heard Bojan.
“What are you doing?” Jere's voice was deep and sligthly hoarse. Bojan felt a shiver run down his spine.
“Arrre yoou?” he replied in a high-pitched tone, which made Jere laugh, which in turn made Bojan laugh, which completely sent them both into a fit of giggles. No matter how many times they made the same stupid jokes, they were still somehow funny to the two of them. Bojan guessed that they could talk about anything in any language and would manage to make up stupid inside jokes and laugh about them. Sometimes Bojan felt like he was sent on earth for just that reason. To laugh with Jere. Wow, he really was feeling cheesy this morning.
Jere grinned at him. “But seriously, what you do there?”
“I was just watching you sleep. Sorry, if that's kind of weird.” Bojan felt heat rising in his cheeks but Jere just kept grinning.
“Yes, yes, I understand. I’m very handsome.”
Bojan snorted and scooted a little closer. “Maybe a little bit,” he murmured into Jere's side.
“No, no. I’m very handsome! Like movie star, like George Clooney!”
Bojan chuckled at Jere's sleepy rambling and his pronunciation. The Finn had already closed his eyes again, his nose buried in Bojan's hair. Bojan decided to continue his tour of Jere's body by slowly tracing his fingers up and down Jere's stomach, over his scars and up to his chest. He loved Jere's body. It was soft and cuddly but also so very hot, especially when he was drenched in sweat jumping around the stage or lying naked on a bed like this. He let his fingers follow the lines of Jere's tattoo which made Jere giggle.
“That tickle, Bojan!”
When he looked up, Bojan was met with the sight of Jere smiling, still with his eyes closed, releasing soft giggles, whenever Bojan moved his fingers. His hair was messy, there was a bit of sleep stuck to his eyelashes and he stuck his tongue between his teeth when he laughed. Bojan was sure he'd never seen anyone more perfect.
“I love you.”
Bojan froze. He couldn't stop the words before they were already out of his mouth. He was just so overwhelmed by his love right now, he couldn't keep it in. Those feelings weren't exactly a surprise to him. He had known how intensely he felt about Jere for quite some time now. Of course, they had said these words to each other before, but always in a different context. And since they started dating, neither of them had said them, because now they had a different meaning. Although Bojan had thought there was a pretty good chance he'd utter these words soon, probably even during this week they had together, he hadn’t quite planned on thoughtlessly blurting them out on their second day when Jere wasn't even fully awake yet.
Well, now he probably was. He looked at Bojan with big eyes and his mouth slightly open. It had only been seconds but Bojan already felt his cheeks warming and his anxiety kicking in.
“Sorry, I didn't mean to blurt it out like that. Especially since you're half asleep. You can just forget I said anything if you want. And of course you don't have to say it back! Now or ever, if you don't want to, I'm okay with that. I do mean it! I just don't want you to feel any pressure because I said it and–”
He wasn't able to continue with his anxious rambling when he felt lips pressed against his. Bojan immeadiately melted into the kiss. Jere's lips were so soft and gentle. It felt like they fitted together perfectly like this. When they separated, Jere had a big smile on his face.
“It's okay, Bojan. Don't think too much.”
Bojan released a deep breath. Jere ruffled through his hair, probably making him look like a disheveled puppy, which seemed to be very pleasing for Jere.
“Thank you for saying that. I know that I don't have to say back right now. I say when I want but I'm very happy you say it.”
With that, Jere planted a kiss of Bojan's cheek and god, Bojan really was completely smitten. He meant what he said, even if Jere never said those words to him, he would be fine. Simply loving Jere was enough. But the thought that he might say them in the future on his own without any pressure for him to do so made Bojan feel a bit giddy.
He scooped Jere up into his arms and rolled them around on the bed. He started squeezing Jere like a plushie which made him release noises that were somewhere between shrieking and laughing. Eventually, Jere got a grip on Bojan and flipped them around so he was on top.
“Revenge!” the shorter man cried and started tickling Bojan mercilessly.
“For what?!” the Slovene barely managed to pant out between laughing and trying to fight the other off.
“You tickle me so I tickle you!” Jere simply stated. Bojan supposed that was fair.
When they had finally calmed down from laughing, they were lying down facing each other, legs and arms entangled.
“I really do mean it,” Bojan whispered. “I love you. Like, a lot.”
And Jere just smiled and kissed him, and it tasted like love.
---
It was a few days later and Bojan wasn't even thinking about that morning anymore. He couldn’t, when he spent every minute making new memories with his boyfriend. Whether they were strolling around Helsinki, singing cheesy love songs at each other during late night karaoke or watching Finnish movies while Jere poorly translated to Bojan what was happening on the screen and the younger desperately tried to pay attention to the movie and not die laughing.
Right now, Bojan had taken over Jere's kitchen, accompanied by the bold statement that he totally knew how to make pancakes! Well, he tried. Jere had opted for sitting on the counter and making fun of Bojan. It wasn't going great, but to be fair to himself, it could have been much worse since the pancakes he did manage to produce actually looked like they could be edible.
He conceded that it was sort of his own fault that they kept getting burned because he spent most of his time not watching the pan but dancing around the kitchen and singing along loudly to Jere's speaker that was playing a playlist with an interesting mix of Finnish metal, Slovenian pop and ‘90s and ‘00s Eurodance. Bojan didn't care if he didn't speak the language the song was in, he was feeling himself, letting the music flow through his body like electricity. Jere mostly laughed at him trying to sing along to Finnish lyrics and watched him make a fool out of himself dancing with every kitchen utensil he could find. He must look so incredibly stupid right now, Bojan thought to himself, while he spun around to the song that was playing at the moment. But he couldn't find it in himself to care. He had the smell of slightly burned pancakes in his nose and the sound of Jere's laughter in his ears and he was happy. He closed his eyes and started to belt out the last chorus of the song. When the song ended, he came to a halt, now a little bit unsteady on his feet but still with a big smile plastered on his face.
While the first notes of the next song started to play, he noticed Jere had gone a bit quiet. When he looked at the Finn, he was still sitting there on the kitchen counter like he had for the last hour. Only he wasn't giggling and singing along to the music anymore. He was just looking at Bojan with his big blue eyes. His lips were curled into a soft smile and his eyes had a look in them that Bojan couldn't quite decipher. Bojan felt his cheeks go red.
“What?” he chuckled nervously while fiddling with his shirt.
“I love you.”
It didn't feel like the way Bojan had said it a few days ago. It didn't feel like someone caught in the moment, being overwhelmed by their feelings and not being able to stop themselves from blurting out those words. It felt like something that was thought about a lot, not something that sweeps you up and carries you away like a hurricane but something calm and safe, something sure. Still, it was imbued with just as much emotion and just as much love as the words out of his own mouth had been.
“Oh.” Bojan felt a bit taken aback, still a little bit out of breath from singing and dancing and still holding the spatula for the pancakes. Jere still looked at him with the same expression on his face. Bojan now thought that the look in his eyes might be fondness.
“Why you look scared?” Jere chuckled while standing up from the counter and taking a few steps to stand in front of Bojan.
“I don’t know,” Bojan replied. “I’m not. Scared, I mean. I just– I just wasn't expecting that right now, I guess. I thought I looked like an idiot singing and dancing around like that.”
He nervously ran a hand through his hair. For god's sake, he thought to himself. They had been dating for quite some time now. How was Bojan still feeling nervous butterflies in his stomach when Jere stood so close to him?
The Finn reached out his hand and entangled their fingers.
“Yes, yes, you look like idiot,” he grinned, “but you look cute.”
He gently tucked a strand of Bojan's hair behind his ear. Bojan melted at the touch.
“And I love you because you are idiot. Cute idiot,” Jere added, still grinning from ear to ear. Bojan started grinning too.
“I love you too,” he said and pulled Jere closer to him, “and you're also an idiot.”
Jere nodded proudly and then he kissed Bojan, and it tasted like love.