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“Morning, Angela!” Darcy called as she passed her boss in the hallway. Angela waved in greeting, then stifled a yawn with her hand.
“Morning Darcy,” she said, smiling. “Did you have a good weekend?”
“Oh, yeah nothing really interesting happened,” Darcy shrugged. “You look tired though, everything okay?”
“Hm? Oh, oh yeah no everything’s fine,” Angela said, waving her off. “Tally just woke me up in the middle of the night wailing because of the thunderstorm and it took a little time getting her to come out from under the bed.”
“Ah,” Darcy nodded. “That does sound rough…”
“Mmhm, but you know how they are at that age,” Angela said. “Anyway, let me know when you’re done drafting those promotional posts and I’ll look them over.”
“Roger that!” Darcy saluted Angela as they entered the main workspace and parted ways. Angela disappeared into the office she shared with Trevor, and Darcy set her own bag down at her desk.
“So uh,” she said to her coworkers. “Tally…is that Angela’s daughter or her cat?”
Everyone glanced at each other with blank expressions.
Darcy blinked. “Wait, does no one know? No one actually knows?”
“I’m pretty sure Tally is a cat,” Blake said. “Hiding under the bed because of a storm? Totally a cat thing.”
“But kids do that too,” Petra pointed out. “Especially little toddlers.”
“Waking you up with wailing though? Sounds like a cat to me,” Leif shrugged.
“You guys have clearly never had to babysit a three year old before in your life,” Olive huffed. “I say it’s a kid.”
“Okay we’ve got to get to the bottom of this now,” Darcy said, putting her hands on her hips. “It’s time to play: Daughter or Cat?”
“Hey Angela!” She called when their boss emerged from her office. “I was wondering, how did you get Tally to calm down?”
“Oh, I just cuddled her for a while until she fell back asleep,” Angela said. “She’s so adorable when she’s not being a fussy little diva.”
“…Cute,” said Darcy, eyebrows creasing.
“Fussy huh? Is she like that at mealtimes too?” Olive asked.
“Oh, absolutely,” Angela nodded. “If I don’t fix her dinner at six pm sharp she starts staring at me with these big wet eyes like I’m the worst person ever.”
She smiled. “But you know, I wouldn’t trade her for the world. I can’t wait to get home and see my baby girl again! So let’s put our best foot forward, everyone!”
She walked into the break room and everyone exchanged glances.
“This is going to be harder than I thought,” Darcy said.
“How old is Tally?”
“Almost four now! But no matter how old she gets she’ll always be my little treasure.”
“What’s her favorite food?”
“Chicken! I keep telling her she can’t have it every day—it’s hard to make sure she gets all her vitamins sometimes.”
“Do you ever brush her?”
“Every day, and she really enjoys it. I think she likes sitting in my lap.”
“This is getting ridiculous,” Olive said as they stood around a whiteboard with several scribbles and sticky notes covering its surface. “How many more things could possibly apply to both cats and small children?”
“I’m telling you, it’s gotta be a cat,” Leif said. “She’s never mentioned school or daycare, right?”
“She could still have a babysitter,” mumbled Darcy as she squinted at the board.
“Isn’t Angela kind of young for a mom?” Blake asked.
“She’s thirty, that’s plenty old for a mom of a four year old,” Petra said. “My mom had me at twenty-two. Plus she could be adopted.”
“Wait,” Kyle blinked. “Doesn’t Trevor live with them too? If Tally really is a kid, then are they—“
“Kyle we are NOT here to speculate on the nature of our bosses’ relationship to each other,” Leif said. “This is about TALLY, and figuring out whether she is a CAT or a HUMAN CHILD!”
“Wait, that’s it!” Darcy snapped her fingers. “We can ask Trevor!”
“What?! We can’t do that! What if he thinks it’s a weird question?” Blake asked.
“This is already pretty weird,” Olive pointed out, gesturing to the board.
“We’ll just have to be…subtle,” Petra said. “I’ll do it.”
The next time Trevor was in the break room, Petra approached him while the others were hiding by the door.
“Hey Trevor! You know, Angela sure seems to love Tally a whole lot,” she said casually.
Trevor chuckled. “I’d say so! And who wouldn’t, really? She’s a really sweet little thing.”
Petra nodded. “Right uh huh, so…do you help take care of Tally?”
“Oh, yeah all the time. I think Angela appreciates the help—when she was alone with Tally taking care of herself and a whole other living, breathing being could be overwhelming sometimes.”
Petra tilted her head. “Huh. I bet that was kind of an adjustment for you too though, right? Helping to take care of someone else’s loved one?”
“Well, I was adjusting to a lot of things,” Trevor said. “But Angela and I have worked out a good system, and everyone’s pretty happy. And I think Tally’s gotten used to me by now—she even sometimes cuddles up to me in the evenings instead of Angela!”
“Awww that’s so sweet,” Petra said.
Five minutes later the employees were back in front of the whiteboard.
“Well that was supremely unhelpful,” Leif deadpanned.
“Do you have any better ideas?” Blake demanded.
“No backing down now!” Darcy declared. “There just has to be something we’re missing…”
“We’ve got to get more specific about our questions while still being subtle,” Olive hummed, tapping her chin. “Something that would definitively tell us if Tally is a human or a cat.”
“Wait.” Kyle said. “What if…what if there’s two Tallys? One human and one cat?”
Everyone stared at him.
“Oh my god,” Darcy gasped. “Erase the whole board! We need to start over!”
“Uh. What the hell is happening in here?”
Everyone turned to see Charlotte, one of the editors, standing in the doorway and frowning at the board.
“Charlotte! I thought you weren’t getting back until Tuesday,” Blake exclaimed.
“Today is Tuesday,” Charlotte said. “What…is this?”
“We’re trying to figure out whether the Tally Angela keeps talking about is her daughter or her cat,” Darcy explained. “So far the argument is going pretty strong for daughter, but Leif is still really pushing for cat.”
“…Are you guys stupid?” Charlotte blinked. “Why don’t you just ask?”
Everyone stared at her intensely. Charlotte scoffed.
“Okay, I’ve seen enough. Hey Angela!”
“WHAT?!”
“NO!”
“CHARLOTTE—“
“Hm?” Angela poked her head in as Darcy quickly spun the board around. “Whoa what’s everyone doing in here?”
Charlotte turned to her. “Can we see some photos of Tally? You’re always talking about how cute she is, after all. Seems unfair to string us along like that.”
Everyone held their breath.
“Oh!” Angela blinked. “Wow that completely slipped my mind, yeah sure! Here.” She pulled out her phone and turned it towards them. Everyone leaned in close.
To see a photo of a cat curled up on a bed.
“AUGH!” Olive pulled at her hair as Leif broke down into cackling laughter.
“I TOLD YOU SO! I TOLD YOU!”
“Aw man,” Darcy sighed and reached into her pocket for her wallet.
“Um…” Angela frowned. “What…”
“Please don’t ask,” Blake sighed.
As Angela waved to Darcy and shut the door to her office, something occurred to her.
“Huh. Hey Trevor…did I ever tell anyone that Tally is my cat?”
Trevor looked up. “Uh…I don’t know, did you?”
Angela frowned. “I…don’t remember. I think I called her my little girl the other day…do you think everyone thinks she’s my actual kid? Like a human kid?”
Trevor blinked. “I mean, you do call yourself a mom when talking about her sometimes?”
“Oh my god.” Angela put a hand to her cheek. “But like, I must have mentioned she was a cat at some point right? Right?”
“You could…ask?” Trevor suggested. Angela shook her head.
“No, that’d just make everyone feel awkward. I’ll just…have to figure it out through context clues.”
“If you say so,” Trevor shrugged, adjusting the photo of Kovacs on his desk.