Chapter Text
School had just let out for the week, and Eric Cartman was eager to be freed of this prison. "You guys! You guys!" Eric bellowed out as his short legs worked overtime trying to catch up to his two friends, Stan and Kyle. Both paused in their tracks as Kyle let out a groan. Turning his body slightly towards the chubby boy, Stan quirked his head to the side, indicating his curiosity.
"Dude, WHY do we have to hang out with him?" Kyle moaned out, pulling his ushanka lower and lower till it covered his eyes. It was a habit he acquired in third grade. It was easier to simply block out his frustrations rather than learn to deal with them head on. Stan however, wasn't having it. He pulled up the front flap of Kyle’s hat till he saw the boys eyes, and with a firm gaze said his piece.
"We're kind of all he has man. Cartman doesnt have a lot of other friends."
“Yeah, I wonder why." Kyle sarcastically interrupted, but quickly shut up as Stan narrowed his eyes.
“Look the guys an ass, buuuuutttttt…” Stan drawls the last word out, stalling his compliment till he can actually think of one. “He’s still our friend,” more quietly he adds, “whether we like it or not.”
Ignoring the wise words of his super best friend, Kyle simply pulls his hat further down grumbling indignantly , content to stew in darkness for eternity before choosing to waste his precious free time with Cartman. Stan shook his head to the side silently at the display. He would never understand why the two acted like they hate eachother.
Taking a moment to catch his breath, Eric huffs wildly as if he just ran a marathon. When his heart rate returned to normal (normal for Cartman) the boy shouted out, “I am now the proud owner of the best movie in the world! It’s totally tits you guys! Like hella co—”
“Oh god- don’t start saying ‘hella’ again! I thought you were done after lunch.” Kyle punctuates the harsh words with an equally harsh roll of the eyes.
“I can say whatever the ‘hella’ I want, thank you very much!”
“That doesn’t even make sense!”
“You don’t even make sense”
“GAHH—!”
“GUYS! Guys!” Too tired to deal with the rapidly encroaching conflict, Stan interrupts the banter before it gets too out of hand. He gives Cartman a warning glare before turning his gaze to Kyle, silently pleading with him to not make this a bigger deal than needed. Kyle gives a simple tut of his head, not wasting any more breath on the fatass. Stan looks back to Eric, with a gentle but exasperated smile. “Cartman, what is it you wanted to say?”
Cartman huffs as well, but his words have an air of arrogance to them. “Why thank you for asking Stan,” the first part of the sentence was filled with saccharine sweetness, artificial niceties. “As I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted,” a pointed scowled turned towards the tallest of the three. “I’ve got the best movie ever— totally tits— Like hella super awesome— out of this world—”
“Cartman.” Even Stan’s patience wears thin.
Eric simply waves him off, wagging his hand up and down nonchalantly. “Hold on hippie, I’m grabbing it” twisting around, he rummages through his Wellington bear backpack. Swiftly he pushes his adored Clyde frog and his considerably less loved and wildly overdue schoolwork into Stan’s arms, needing more room to search. After a few moments of digging around, he presents his treasure to the others.
“Woah dude!”
“Holy shit!”
“That’s right, directors cut and everything!” The cerulean cover appeared to dazzle in the sunlight. The shiny casing of plastic around the item made it sparkle, just begging to be opened. Both boys stared slack jawed at the masterpiece that appeared before them: the 1984 Ghostbusters collectors series.
Kyle seemed to forget about Cartman’s ‘mortal enemy’ status as he reached out to touch the unopened box set. “Where did you get this?!”
“It was so sweet,” only Cartman could say that about some of the most messed up situations. If Eric said something was ‘so sweet’ you got ready to either feel sorry for him or feel like you needed to punch him personally. ”my mom said if left the house tonight while some of her boyfriends were over I could just have it! I mean, not just any old ghostbusters, but the collectors edition? I totally ripped her off! I’d almost feel bad if it weren’t for her kicking me out. Oh yeah— that reminds me, I gotta crash at one of yours tonight. I vote we order pizza.”
Kyle chooses to ignore the ‘some of her’ part of that sentence, fearing addressing it might risk his chance at witnessing the classic film. Instead he opts to offer his house as a sanctuary for the night as they begin their trek, eager to watch the movie. Unconsciously Eric begins to hum a tune, which quickly cascades into a grand musical performance
“At first, when I see you cry-y-y, yeah it makes me smi-i-ile, yeah it makes me smile.“ Kyle is quickly annoyed when he hears Cartman’s boisterous singing behind him, almost telling him off for his volume until he realizes Stan— albeit more quietly— had joined in on the performance. At first Kyle simply listens, finding hilarity in just how bad two voices could go together, in that they don’t go together at all.
“At worst, I feel bad for a whi-i-lie,” their off key singing is anything but spectacular, and if Kyle’s being honest it’s quite grating on his ears with the different keys and random changes of pitch. Yet despite it all, the now upbeat atmosphere compels Kyle to join in.
“But then I just smi-i-ile, I go ahead and smile.” all three boys sing the catchy tune now, loud and uncaring of how it sounds. The impromptu karaoke session lasts all the way till the neighborhood roundabout. It’s only when they hear Mrs. Broflovski yell from a distance about them ‘causing a ruckus at this hour’ that they are transported back to reality. They quiet in volume and scamper towards the door, chuckling amongst themselves.