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Wei Ying could count on one hand, the days in which he woke up earlier than his husband. Or maybe he had been awake this whole time, it was unclear.
The signs of morning crept through the bedroom window, casting shadows over Lan Zhan’s sleeping form. Early morning light danced slowly up the walls, displaying objects in their bedroom in an eerie manner. The slow rise and fall of Lan Zhan’s bare chest was the only indication that he was truly asleep. Not a twitch or sound emanated from him, his face peaceful and serene as he dreamt.
Wei Ying was in his arms, held close to his chest, the calming, steady beat of his heart next to his ear was the only thing keeping Wei Wing from the undercurrent of panic thrumming underneath his skin and beneath his ribs.
He leaned into the touch, nuzzling his face into the crook of Lan Zhan’s neck and inhaled his scent. The familiar fragrance of sandalwood filled his nose, quieting the insistent buzzing inside of his head and in turn his breathing evened out. He hadn’t even realized the extent of his impending anxiety attack until it seemed to slowly ebb away.
Wei Ying tried to avoid slipping his gaze to the numbers on the clock, they glared at him from the bedside table like a menacing cat ready to pounce. 3:30A.M glowed vindictively through the dark room. The date next to it reflected just as eerily.
October 31st.
His birthday had officially arrived, while in theory, was exciting, in reality it caused a weight to press against his chest. He felt constricted, restrained while the restless need to thrash about assaulted his every thought. He wanted to scream, cry out for help but he was afraid no one would listen, no one would care.
Letting out a shuddering breath, Wei Ying pressed a kiss to Lan Zhan’s throat. He could tell that his lips were dry, cracked, and cold. They were desperate for warmth against heated skin.
“Wei Ying?” A hushed murmur filled with sleep and confusion penetrated the still morning air of the bedroom.
Wei Ying hunched closer. “It’s okay, go back to sleep.” He whispered, fisting the edge of their blankets to pull them further up their bodies. He wasn’t quite sure if he was shivering from the cold or the dormant panic bubbling under the surface.
“Mm.” Still asleep, Lan Zhan’s arms tightened around Wei Ying’s waist, his fingers brushing along the apex of his ass. Once he settled down again, his hands stilling, Wei Ying let out a soft sigh.
Wei Ying loved his husband, it was all consuming, unconditional and irrevocable. He could tell Lan Zhan anything, come to him with any problem or any whim that came to mind but it was difficult to convey the emotions that overtook him during his birthday.
A sorrow that made his breath stutter and his heart race, a pain that clouded his thoughts and sometimes made him want to die.
Lan Zhan hated it when Wei Ying told him he wanted to die.
So, instead Wei Ying grinned and bared it. He let Lan Zhan celebrate his birthday, he ate the breakfast in bed that was so carefully curated to his tastes, it was covered in every type of chili oil his husband could get his hands on. He let Lan Zhan give him gifts that he knew were so very carefully picked out over the last couple of months, they’d make love, have dinner and drinks with friends, make love again and finally the day was over and the pain that permeated deep in his bones would slowly disappear until finally the day was gone and Wei Ying could go back to normal.
This year started a lot earlier than usual and that was how he found himself trying to remain calm and potentially fall back to sleep.
The longer he slept, the less he had to deal with. Reluctantly he glanced at the clock again, 4A.M.
Another shuddering breath racked his body against his will. He pleaded to the gods Lan Zhan stayed asleep.
Carefully extracting himself from Lan Zhan’s arms and out of bed, Wei Ying threw on his shirt from yesterday forgoing his sweatpants and instead swiping a pair of Lan Zhan’s boxers before quietly tiptoeing to the bathroom.
Mirrors never lie, Wei Ying avoided his reflection but now he faced himself and barely recognized what he saw. Hollow-eyed, face pale, and stricken with sorrow. Wei Ying’s long black hair hung limply around his face like a dark halo. He suddenly wanted to take scissors to it, to cut away the rats' nest full of painful memories.
He had a lot of pride in his hair, most days it was long, shiny and styled in expertly done messy ponytails or braids but when he remembered the feeling of his sisters fingers running through his hair it made him feel sick.
He’d never experience that immense feeling of familial love ever again.
Spinning on his heel, Wei Ying vomited into the toilet.
He continued emptying last night's dinner into the bowl, unaware of the presence coming up behind him until he felt gentle fingers brushing against his skull, gathering his hair out of the way of the mess.
Lan Zhan quietly murmured sweet things as Wei Ying continued to be sick until nothing was left and he began to dry heave. A hand rubbed his back and once he was finished that hand pulled him into a lap and gently rocked him back and forth.
A sob broke through Wei Ying’s resolve.
Lan Zhan asked him no questions, just held him close and began to sing Wei Ying’s song, the one thing he knew would calm him down the soonest.
It could have been minutes or hours, Wei Ying wasn’t sure but as his sobs quieted down, he clung to Lan Zhan, his face pressed into his chest and his tears soaked through his husband’s hastily thrown on shirt.
Once the last of his whimpers subsided, he looked up at Lan Zhan to find he was already looking down at him, his face a mask of concern.
“Sorry you had to witness that.” Wei Ying croaked, his face flushed with shame. Lan Zhan stroked a thumb along Wei Ying’s jawline.
“I do believe that when I took my bows, that taking care of Wei Ying when he was sick was part of my duties as his husband.” He answered softly, liquid gold eyes watching Wei Ying with reverence.
“Aiya, Lan Zhan you big softie.” He chuckled, nuzzling back into his husband's neck, the look being directed at him made his chest feel heavy. For a while they stayed silent, Lan Zhan still swayed him back and forth, a hand caressing his face, neck, and back intermittently. Suddenly Wei Ying’s head lifted upwards, his eyes burning into Lan Zhan’s.
“I want you to cut my hair.”
Lan Zhan stared back, before making a noncommittal noise.
“If that’s what Wei Ying wants.”
“It is.”
••
That’s how Wei Ying found himself sitting in their dining room at 5 A.M, now with pants on and Lan Zhan cutting his hair. It barely took any convincing to get Lan Zhan to start the transformation right away, he stayed patient and kind while Wei Ying described what he wanted.
The only sounds heard throughout the house was the snipping of scissors and the thick strands of hair dropping to the floor.
“Wei Ying?”
It wasn’t until Lan Zhan had stopped and called his name, that Wei Ying realized that he had begun crying again. Pressing his palms into his eyes, he roughly rubbed away the tears.
“Goddamn it.” He hissed, teeth clenched together. “I thought cutting it off would make everything better.” Wei Ying cried, his hands running through the now short strands of his hair.
“Wei Ying, what can I do to help, what do you need?” Lan Zhan started to sound panicked, he kneeled in front of his husband, his hands on either side of Wei Ying’s face.
“I want my sister back.” He sobbed. “It’s my birthday and I just want my sister.” Lan Zhan’s heart broke at Wei Ying’s confession.
Wei Ying didn’t talk about his family, not if he didn’t have to and because of that, he paid the price of not being able to cope with the trauma he had endured all throughout his life.
Wei Ying didn’t talk about the death of his birthparents, he didn’t talk about the abuse that he endured those years he was on the streets or the abuse he withstood from his adoptive parents. He didn’t talk about the strained relationship with his brother, and worst of all he did not talk about the death of his sister, the one thing that had destroyed him the most.
Instead of standing by him in the wake of Jiang Yanli and her husband's death, Wei Ying’s adoptive family cut all ties after he had announced his engagement to Lan Zhan. Calling him selfish after getting engaged so soon after something so tragic. Other than a few remaining friends and his husband, Wei Ying had no one.
Lan Zhan wrapped his arms around Wei Ying and lifted him out of the chair. Carefully he carried him back into the bedroom and held Wei Ying in bed while he cried, begging for his sister. Lan Zhan hummed Wei Ying his lullaby, caressing each part of his body, trying to bring any sort of comfort.
Wei Ying did not want this to be how today went, he tried so hard to keep Lan Zhan from seeing how utterly fragile he was on a day that was supposed to be happy. He wasn’t sure how long he continued to cry until suddenly he had realized he stopped. Wei Ying’s breathing had slowed and his eyes fought to stay open.
“Sleep Wei Ying.” Lan Zhan hummed, kissing the shell of his ear.
And so he did.
••
Consciousness crept back into Wei Ying as the warmth of the sun's rays washed over the bed and over his crumpled form.
He was no longer in Lan Zhan’s arms, in fact he was now completely alone. Shielding his eyes from the streaming sunlight, he blinked at the alarm clock.
1:15pm
Jolting out of bed he almost missed the glass of water and aspirin set aside for him. Eternally grateful for his husband, he chugged the whole glass, washing down the pills and taste of bile.
Licking his lips, Wei Ying ventured into the living room. There he found Lan Zhan on the couch reading a book, a glass of tea, long cooled in front of him. Wei Ying stood in the hall watching him, a soft expression on his face as his husband continued to be unaware of his presence.
Lan Zhan was beautiful, outfit pristine, long hair smoothed back into a ponytail , and his reading glasses resting on the tip of his nose.
He must have been staring too long, his presence had been sensed and Lan Zhan looked up at him, a small twitch of his lips indicated that he was smiling at Wei Ying.
“Zhanzhan.” He murmured quietly, walking over to take the spot next to his husband. Lan Zhan placed his book and glasses to the side and opened his arms up for Wei Ying. Curling into his lap, practically cradled like a baby, Wei Ying looked up at Lan Zhan with a fond expression.
“Wei Ying, how are you feeling?” A finger began to trace over Wei Ying’s face, across his lips, down his jaw, then back up to his brows and over his eyelids. “I am worried.”
“Ayia Lan Zhan, you don’t need to be worried. I’m fine, I’m fine!” It was obvious that what was being said was not necessarily true. The usual confident cadence of Wei Ying’s voice was skewed and he shrunk into himself further as he avoided his feelings. Lan Zhan raised a delicate brow. “Don’t look at me like that, this morning was just a fluke.”
“Your hair.”
Wei Ying ran a hand through the short strands, flashing a sheepish grin.
“It was a long time coming, too much maintenance. We were both tired of combing out all the knots, and if we have a baby…”
It was a recurring conversation that always seemed to get put on the back burner. Lan Zhan and Wei Ying wanted to start their own little family, they looked into all their options, went through all the correct facets but it never got very far before life got in the way again. It was becoming an unreachable reality.
“You're correct, a baby would pull your hair.” He hummed in agreement, tucking a strand behind Wei Ying’s ear. “I like it, you look very handsome. If you decide you regret it, thankfully it will grow back.”
A comfortable silence fell over the apartment, Wei Ying continued to look up at his husband, admiring the beauty that was before him.
The anxiety from that morning still pushed and pulled like a current under his chest, a headache from crying and throwing up pounded in his head but for now everything was okay. The streaming sunlight coming in from the sliding glass door provided a temporary reprieve from the darkness boiling in his soul.
“Wei Ying.”
“Hmm? What is it Lan Zhan?”
“It’s almost 2, we are expecting company at 3. Do you need me to make arrangements for another day instead?”
“Oh, right. My party.” Tone stilted, Wei Ying pondered the likelihood of him having a mental breakdown in front of all his friends.
“We can reschedule. It will be no problem.”
“No no, a party will be fun, Nie Huaisang will kill us if we cancel at the last minute.” Wei Ying jumped out of Lan Zhan’s lap, stretching his arms over his head, his shirt rising up over his stomach. Lan Zhan’s eyes traveled over his body, his tongue darting out boldly over his lips.
Glancing sideways at his husband, Wei Ying’s mouth curved into a mischievous grin.
Sliding back down to straddle Lan Zhan’s lap, he mouthed at his neck, licking upwards towards his jawline. A shiver racked through Lan Zhan’s body and his hands gripped at Wei Ying’s waist in a bruising manner. Any semblance of control was waning.
“Maybe you can give me one of my gifts early?” Wei Ying’s voice dripped with seduction as he nipped sharply at Lan Zhan’s jaw.
Growling, Lan Zhan gripped Wei Ying’s thighs as he stood up, stalking towards their bedroom with Wei Ying’s arms thrown haphazardly around his neck. He sucked deep bruises into the spots where the old ones were beginning to fade, giving a variety of color to Lan Zhan’s throat.
Entering their room, Wei Ying is tossed onto the bed carelessly, which is the catalyst for the burning hot desire coursing through his veins. Lan Zhan gets undressed quickly, his eyes darkened with lust as Wei Ying shoves a hand down his pants to stroke himself.
“Undress.” And Wei Ying does, making a show of it as he tosses his clothes to the side. Now laid bare, he continues to touch himself, arching an eyebrow in a challenge.
Lan Zhan slides onto the bed to hover over Wei Ying, putting just enough space between them that it’s a tantalizing torture. Wei Ying does everything in his power to arch into Lan Zhan’s body to feel the heat of his skin and the hardness between his legs.
“Fuck me, take me, make me yours, make me forget.” Wei Ying begged, tears springing up in the corner of his eyes. He grasped at Lan Zhan’s shoulders, trying to pull him down even closer, his cock rutting against his husband’s stomach.
Lan Zhan devoured Wei Ying’s lips, grasping his neck with his fingers, hips grinding down in fervor.
“I’ll make you think of only me.” He hummed, his tone absolute.
Wei Ying let out a languid whimper
And so Lan Zhan did just that.
..
Making good on his promise, Lan Zhan indeed made Wei Ying think of nothing but him. Of every press of his fingers, every push of his hips, and of every filthy word that left his mouth. Wei Ying unraveled beneath him, his body trembling through the force of his orgasm with Lan Zhan following him soon after.
They didn’t let themselves dawdle for too long after, plenty of kisses and snuggles could be had later. Minutes after getting themselves cleaned up and dressed, the doorbell sounded throughout the house.
“Must be Nie Huaisang, always showing up 15 minutes early.” Wei Ying sighed, rolling his eyes. A hint of a smile quirked at the corner of his mouth as he went to the front door. Lan Zhan followed behind him silently, mentally preparing himself for his husband's best friend, someone who easily matched Wei Ying’s energy. Which was fine of course, after all these years Lan Zhan has been able to adjust to the chaos but it was still a lot to take in.
Wei Ying threw open the door and instantly Nie Huaisang threw himself into his arms for a tight hug.
“Happy birthday Yingying! You look amazing for an eighty year old.” He teased, yanking at Wei Ying’s new tiny ponytail, his gaze artfully avoiding the dark purple marks that colored Wei Ying’s collarbones while he pulled away from the hug. Politely avoiding any questions regarding Wei Ying’s new short hair which Wei Ying appreciated fully.
“You bet your ass I’ll look this good at eighty, Lan Zhan makes sure I keep in shape.” Wei Ying let out a carefree laugh, elbowing his husband at the not so subtle joke.
“Ew, too much info, that is way more than I wanted to know about your sex life.” Nie Huaisang groaned, pushing a gift bag into Wei Ying’s hands. “Now where’s the food?” Nie Huaisang wandered his way into the living room, frowning at the distinct lack of party decorations.
“Lan Huan and your brother will be bringing dinner with them, they should be here any minute.” Dropping himself dramatically on the couch, Nie Huaisang sighed. “I thought your guys' honeymoon phase was disgusting, but our brothers make you guys look like saints. Be prepared for an abundance of PDA.” He huffed, making a face.
“Oh, sounds like a challenge, whatdoyasay Lan Zhan?” Wei Ying elbows him again. “Should we show up your brother and Nie Mingjue as who can gross out the most people?” He wiggled his eyebrows mischievously as Lan Zhan rolled his eyes.
“Shameless.”
It didn’t take too much longer for almost all of the party guests to show up, all very generous with hugs and gifts. Wei Ying did his best to smile and reciprocate everyone’s energy, it wasn't as difficult as he thought it was going to be, especially with Lan Zhan at his side throughout the entire party. Every so often, Lan Zhan grabbed Wei Ying’s hand to give it a gentle reassuring squeeze, which Wei Ying returned with a bright smile.
It was when dinner was being served - takeout from Wei Ying’s favorite xiaolongboa restaurant - that he began to grow worried that Wen Qing and Wen Ning hadn’t shown up yet. Worriedly he tugged on Lan Zhan’s sleeve. Almost as if reading his mind, Lan Zhan gave him a small nod.
“They have been held up preparing your birthday gift, they’ll be here before the end of the evening.”
“Aiya, they’re too much. I don’t need anymore gifts, everyone else has done a very good job with spoiling me.”Chuckling lightly, Wei Ying glanced at the coffee table covered with a variety of brightly wrapped boxes and gift bags. For a moment he felt his heart clench, his eyes stung with unshed tears as he looked over everyone that had shown up for him. Almost everyone that mattered was here, but not seeing his brother seated amongst all his other friends made him feel like shit. All throughout the evening he had been checking his phone, hoping that maybe this year was the year that Jiang Cheng would finally reach out to him.
He had no such luck.
Sensing his husband’s darkening mood, Lan Zhan cleared his throat, patting Wei Ying’s thigh.
“Maybe we should start opening gifts while we wait for the Wens.” Lan Zhan suggested casually, standing up to start handing Wei Ying presents. Everyone clustered around the birthday boy, Nie Huaisang having to be as close as possible to record his friend’s reaction to each gift, Nie Mingjue shoving him slightly when Nie Huaisang accidentally stepped on his foot.
“Watch it kid.”
“I have to make this a cinematic masterpiece, art is pain Gege!” Lan Huan hid his face in his sleeve as he chuckled, taking a spot on Nie Mingjue’s lap to help keep the peace. Lan Zhan made a significant effort not to groan at the repulsive display, hoping that Wei Ying wouldn’t get any ideas.
“Open my gift first, you’ll absolutely love it.” Mianmain called out happily, knocking her shoulder against her husband’s.
“Mine next!”
“No mine!”
“Come on everyone, he’ll get to yours eventually. He should open mine first, I am his best friend after all.”
“Oh shut up Huaisang.”
A pained yelp could be heard amongst the loud chattering of everyone, making Wei Ying laugh loudly.
Gift after gift piled up around Wei Ying, each present seemed to make his emotions come undone like a poorly threaded needle. Nobody commented as silent tears finally pushed over the corner of his eyes.
“You guys…. I- ” Before he could say anything, the front door burst open, Wen Qing strutting in as if she owned the place, her brother following her silently, a conspicuous bundle wrapped up in his arms.
“Sorry we’re late, ran into trouble getting the doofus’s gift.” Wen Qing teased, though her tone was that similar to Lan Zhan’s, serious with only a hint of a joke. If you didn’t know her, you’d assume she was being purposefully mean.
Interest piqued, Wei Ying stood from his chair, Lan Zhan sticking suspiciously close as if he were worried Wei Ying might tumble over.
Wen Qing stepped to the side, taking off her coat to hang up. Her shoes being placed in a line with everyone else’s. Wen Ning became more exposed to the crowd, thus the bundle in his arms came into full view of Wei Ying.
A small sleeping baby was nestled against Wen Ning’s chest, tiny mouth agape, fingers clenched tightly around the blanket he was held in. Wei Ying choked out a small breath, his hands trembling slightly as he walked over to his friend. The crowd behind him remained silent, looking towards the display with awe.
“Um, whatcha got there A-Ning?” Wei Ying whispered, wide eyes still staring at the baby, one of his hands blindly grasping at Lan Zhan’s to keep him steady and earthbound.
“This is Lan Yuan.” Wen Ning replied quietly, trying not to wake him. “He is our baby cousin, unfortunately his mother and father died in a car crash about three or so months ago, he’s been in an orphanage until we were able to find him a new home.” Wei Ying’s head jerked up to stare at A-Qing and A-Ning.
Lan Yuan, he didn’t know if he could let himself believe it.
Inside his chest he felt his rapidly beating heart break into small pieces. Lan Yuan was an orphan.
Just like he was.
The siblings stared back at him with soft smiles. Frantically Wei Ying looked back at his husband who squeezed his hand tightly.
“Happy birthday, Wei Ying.”
A quiet choked out sob escaped from Wei Ying, his legs buckling underneath him. Lan Zhan was there to hold him as he fell into his arms, all the emotions that had been building up all night finally broke through his carefully crafted dam. He continued to cry into his husband’s chest until a small sound made him break out of his emotional stupor. Looking up, it was then that Wei Ying realized everyone else had left, leaving only the four of them together. Wen Qing had made herself at home on the couch, scrolling quietly on her phone. Wen Ning stood next to Wei Ying’s crumbled form as Lan Yuan now looked around widely, babbling curiously at his new surroundings.
Carefully Lan Zhan lifted him back onto his feet, softly pushing Wei Ying towards the baby.
“I have been working with the Wen’s to gain custody of Lan Yuan. Nobody else was able to take him in. This afternoon I was given word that he is now one hundred percent legally ours, hence the name.”
Wei Ying held back another sob as he reached out to take Lan Yuan into his arms. Wen Ning happily handed him over. Wei Ying looked down at the tiny person that now looked up at him with hesitance before Lan Yuan broke out into a huge smile, giggling as he reached up to pull at the drawstrings of Wei Ying’s hoodie.
“How old is he? He’s so tiny, so young. Way way younger than me when my parents-….”
“He’ll be a year old on January 12th.”
Wei Ying quietly did the math. “But he’s so small for his age. Is he alright?”
Lan Zhan wrapped an arm around Wei Ying’s waist, placing his chin carefully in the crook of his neck to look down at Lan Yuan, their son. Their beautiful, perfect little son. It was then that a true smile bloomed over his lips, his eyes turning liquid gold. Nothing would ever top seeing the love of his life holding their child.
“The orphanage we found him in was ill equipped to take care of a baby. He was practically malnourished.” Wen Qing huffed, eyes still locked on her phone.
“Thankfully I was able to quickly get him most of the way to the correct weight percentile, he’s just a little smaller than most babies his age. We’ve been working on his milestones in the meantime. He’s almost exactly where he needs to be, now that he has a home, it’ll all fall into place.”
Wen Ning joined his sister on the couch, nodding in agreement. “A-Yuan is already very smart for his age, he recognizes his name, can sit up, crawl, and roll over in both directions. He still can’t sleep all the way through the night but that’s to be expected. Life was….rough in the orphanage. I think the poor thing has nightmares.” Wen Ning’s face dropped with sorrow as he remembered the squalor condition he and his sister had witnessed, no child had been spared from it.
Wei Ying held A-Yuan a little more closely to his chest, rhythmically swaying him back and forth. So much trauma and despair experienced at such a young age, barely an hour of knowing this beautiful angel and Wei Ying felt the deep connection that they shared.
“I have one more gift for you.” Lan Zhan murmured softly into Wei Ying’s shoulder. Glancing to the side at his husband, Wei Ying made a small questioning noise.
“And we’ll take that as our cue to leave.” The siblings stood up, gathering all their things. Both pressed a small kiss to Lan Yuan’s forehead and gave awkward side hugs to Lan Zhan and Wei Ying.
“Thank you so much.” Wei Ying whispered, more tears flowing with so much gratitude.
“If anyone deserves to have a baby of their own, it’s you two. Lan Yuan will be very loved, by you and everyone in your lives. He will never go a day again without feeling the love of family and friends.”
Wen Qing and Wen Ning went to leave but as they stepped out the door Wei Ying called out, careful not to jostle the baby too much. Lan Yuan yawned, his eyes beginning to close as he was pulled to sleep.
“Wait! What about all his stuff? We don’t have anything to take care of the baby yet.” The siblings smiled at him. “Maybe you should see what gift your husband has for you.”
Confused, Wei Ying raised an eyebrow at Lan Zhan.
“Come with me.”
Wei Ying followed his husband in a daze, a sleeping A-Yuan still wrapped tightly in his arms, more content than he had been since all the tragedy began to unfold.
Stopping at the door of Lan Zhan’s office, a room in which Wei Ying made an effort to stay away from, lest he bring destruction to his husband's pristine space.
Nervously, Lan Wangji shifted on his feet, something that was odd to witness coming from a typically confident and stoic man.
“Your last gift is in here.”
Shifting A-Yuan in his arms, Wei Ying bounced excitedly on his heels, careful not to wake the baby. “Zhanzhan, did you spoil your poor husband? I don’t think my weak heart can handle much more!” A-Yuan remained asleep, the rumble of Wei Ying’s chest, a comfort lull keeping him adrift.
“Your heart seems capable of withstanding other forms of excitement without issue.” Lan Zhan mused, his lips quirking upwards, barely a hint of a smile.
The door to the office was pushed open and it was there that a beautifully decorated nursery was revealed, completely and utterly perfect for their new addition. Wei Ying sputtered as he took a step in, utterly flabbergasted that this had all been done without him realizing it.
”Bu-But how? How did you do this without me knowing? I work from home? You couldn’t have done this without me realizing what was going on!” Lan Zhan just looked at his husband with a pointed, unamused stare.
“Wei Ying. When you are working, you don’t observe anything. I worked on this everyday for a week straight and you didn’t even realize I hadn’t been at work.” Wei Ying’s mouth was slack as he sputtered out a response.
“Noooo, that can’t be right!” He paced the nursery, looking over each and every meticulous detail. The beautiful cloud motif that shone throughout the entire room, pieces of his new life that brought him so much joy. It was only when his eyes spotted a beautiful painting of lotus, a perfect rendition of his favorite hangout in Lotus Pier that the tears welled up. God, after today he never wanted to cry ever again.
“At 4:45pm I would put everything away for the evening, lock up my office and clean myself up. Once 5 o’clock would hit, you would look up, realize that I had probably just gotten home from work and talk as if I hadn’t been there the entire day. I didn’t have to even try to be careful.” Wei Ying scowled, as much as he didn’t want to agree with his husband, that did sound like something he would do.
“God, I’m such a danger, if you had been an intruder I wouldn’t have even noticed…” For a moment, Wei Ying grew quiet again, looking down at their son, their son! “Are you sure he’ll be safe here? I’m a mess, I don’t even remember to feed myself, are you sure I can be trusted?” His voice faltered on the last word, not wanting to even invite that sort of thought into his head. Lan Zhan, the ever dutiful husband wrapped his arms around Wei Ying, carefully guiding him over to the crib. Gently he took A-Yuan into his arms and placed him carefully down into the crib. Turning Wei Ying to face him, he kneeled down, pressing his face into the soft planes of his stomach before looking up with pure, unadulterated love. Wei Yings heart stuttered at the molten gold that looked up at him.
”You are the kindest, bravest soul I have ever met. You would lay down your life for anyone, even a stranger before you even considered your own safely. Lan Yuan is safer with you, than anyone else in this world. I would trust you with our son, more than anyone.” As Wei Wuxian began to shake his head, tears streaming down his face, Lan Zhan’s arms tightened around him. “You would let yourself starve, before you ever let him starve. Whether you believe that yourself is unimportant, if you don’t trust yourself, trust me and know that what I say is the absolute truth.”
There was no refuting the absolute honesty that dripped from each word, Wei Ying would believe anything that Lan Zhan had told him, he had never given him any reason not to take what he said at face value.
They stayed like that for what felt like hours, until Wei Ying felt the exhaustion of too many overwhelming emotions finally take over and he felt his knees quiver. With barely any effort, Lan Zhan stood up, scooping his husband into his arms. One last soft adoring look toward their peacefully sleeping baby. So new in their lives but already so loved, they made their way into their bedroom.
Playfully Lan Zhan dropped Wei Ying onto the bed, causing him to groan at the impact as he hit the pillows. “I hope Wei Ying is ready to lose out on sleep for the next eighteen years.”
“I already suffer when you drag that perfect ass out of bed at 5am, might as well have a cute little baby as an excuse to get up with you.” Sitting up from the cocoon of blankets he had begun to settle into, Wei Ying grabbed his phone off the bedside table. He didn’t at all try to hide as his eyes followed Lan Zhan undressing for bed, the smooth planes of his back exposed, as were the fading red marks that Wei Ying’s nails had left earlier that day. Humming in appreciation, he glanced at his phone screen.
Whatever Lan Zhan had begun to say in defense of his god awful morning schedule was lost in the white noise buzzing in the back of Wei Ying’s head. There, buried in a mass of other people wishing him a happy birthday, was a message from a number he hadn’t seen in a very long time. It was short, and blunt but still brought a weak smile to Wei Ying’s lips.
Happy birthday asshole. Call me sometime.
A wet laugh startled Lan Zhan out of this nightly routine, he turned back to look at Wei Ying who had a look of frazzled humor as he read through his messages. Curious, he walked over, glancing down at the phone. Pressing his lips together in disdain, he tried to hide his annoyance at the message. After years of silence, this was the best Jiang Cheng could do, sure the man lacked any emotional intelligence but maybe just once he could approach a situation with more elegance, especially when it dealt with something so sensitive.
“Are you going to call him?” He murmured, brushing a finger along Wei Ying’s neck. Wei Ying took a moment to reply but he shook his head.
“Not tonight, maybe not even tomorrow. I want to settle in with our son first before I potentially bring more chaos back into our life.” Wei Ying loved his brother so much, all he had wanted for so long was for Jiang Cheng to even acknowledge his existence, to just sit down and talk, maybe even reminisce of memories of their sister. But there was no denying that Jiang Cheng could cause issues in their lives, especially if his mother was involved.
“Mm, fair.”
Throwing his phone back onto the table, Wei Ying grabbed onto Lan Zhan, pulling him down on top of him. They kissed until their lips felt bruised, until Lan Zhan had shed all of Wei Ying’s clothes onto the floor. Fingertips gripped bare flesh until marks bloomed over hips and thighs. Not as much effort was made this time, only rutting into each other until their peaks were met and their orgasms spilled onto each other and the bed. Panting into each other’s necks, tongues lazily lapped against sweat soaked skin. Whispers of affection and occasional laughter was all that could be heard throughout the silence of the house.
It was only now that the turmoil that had tumbled in his gut and the roiling anxiety that had started out his morning finally began to cease. Definitely not completely gone, but for now settled. No more darkness clouded his vision and Wei Ying was able to fall into a peaceful undisturbed sleep. The soft cries of a baby only a few hours later did nothing to ruin his happiness. It was as Wei Ying made his way into the nursery that he knew that he was looking forward to walking up each morning, no matter what time, to comfort their son.