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Percy woke up, feeling something was wrong, and then felt a huge power manifest around him.
Thunders outside the window, rain starting to fall.
His first thought was that Zeus and his father were arguing, again , for no good reason .
Then, he heard someone scream, an awful noise that made him shiver, and realized that it wasn't his relatives who were arguing.
It was Merlin.
***
He had failed. He knew he would, they both knew it, and yet it still hurt.
"Just… hug me." Was the whisper he received.
He couldn't lose him! Fight, he wanted to scream, hold on a moment longer. Don't give up, please.
A flash of a smile when he screamed his name, and then the hand falling from his head, the first and last caress he received from the man he loved.
“Arthur!”
Merlin stood up with a start, holding out his hand in front of him, where he sensed someone right there, in front of his bed.
“Hey, slow down! It’s me!”
“ Arthur ?” He asked, his voice muffled.
“No, I'm…Percy.” Blinking, Merlin recognized Percy in front of him. Not Arthur. Percy Jackson, the person who had decided to help him even though they didn't know each other, and Merlin had just annoyed his relatives the first time they met.
“Percy.” Merlin whispered. “I…” The boy looked around, horrified when he saw what he had done to the room, when he saw the storm raging outside. “Did I hurt you? I can never control myself, I am… dangerous.” Merlin began to whisper. " I'm a monster ."
“Hey! You are speaking bad of my friend!” Percy patted the back of his head, walking over to the boy still half lying in bed. “And you're not allowed to, cause he's a great person and no one can disrespect him.”
Merlin gave a muffled laugh. “You just like not being the only person who disrespects authority.”
"Obviously. I need some company, really.” Percy smiled. "What did you see?"
“Arthur’s death. In my arms." Merlin whispered.
"I am sorry." Percy whispered. “I've seen a lot of people I cared about die, but… damn, I'm so sorry. It's not something you get used to, or forget about.”
“Has anyone ever died because of you? Why weren't you good enough, fast enough, or powerful enough?” Merlin snapped. “Because that's what happened with Arthur!”
“Bianca di Angelo.” Merlin gasped as Percy started listing the names. “I promised Nico I would do my best to keep her safe, and my best wasn't good enough. Zoe Nightshade. She died to save my life from her father, because I thought I would be able to fight against a Titan. Michael Yew. I broke the bridge he was on. Charles Beckendorf. We went on a mission together and he died, because I couldn't save him. Silena Beauregard. I wasn't quick enough to recognize that she was in pain and that she would make a fatal mistake. Ethan Nakamura, Luke Castellan. I wasn't close to them, I didn’t help them when they needed my help. Damasen and Iapetus. They remained in Tartarus for me.” Percy took a shaky breath. “And I'm not even mentioning all the people I've hurt using my powers.”
“You're just a child, Percy.” Merlin whispered. “You're still so young .”
“I'm just saying… you're not the only one who's made mistakes and is haunted by the demons from his past, Merlin. So am I." Percy said back, reaching out to wrap Merlin in his arms. “You're not a monster. You are special."
Merlin returned the hug. “Do you think you're a monster?” He asked, his voice muffled in Percy's pajama shirt.
“I choked a Primordial in her own venom because she was trying to kill me.” Percy murmured. “I pushed a Titan into the River Lethe and renamed him Bob when he was trying to kill me.” He looked at Merlin’s eyes. “Do you think I'm a monster?”
"No." Merlin shook his head. “I just think you're special.”
Percy smiled.
After a moment, Merlin murmured. “Did you call a Titan Bob?”
“Why is that what everyone says? It's a beautiful name!" Percy pouted.
“No, that really sucks as a name.” Merlin snorted. “You are not allowed to name your children.”
“Shut up.” Percy snorted. “You named your dragon Aithusa .”
“It means to light up! Bringer of the sun!” Merlin retorted.
“You took it from Greek mythology! I had a half sister named Aithousa.” Percy retorted.
“I didn’t know about that!” Merlin protested. “It's a beautiful name!”
“Bob too!” Percy defended himself. “And I was in a pressure situation, obviously I can't be held responsible for what I thought was a good name or not.”
“You're making excuses.” Merlin pointed out.
“You know, I take it back. I like being the only sarcastic one in the group. You're stealing my role and the scene."
“How dramatic of you.”
“Oh, you don’t like when someone steals your drama, man?” Percy chuckled.
"Yes!" Merlin nodded. “I worked hard for my drama, don't steal my show.”
Their laughter calmed the fears they both had.
Maybe they could both be monsters.
But at least they were together.