Chapter Text
Steve liked dropping hints about the Big Mystery. Terrifying hints that suggested, at minimum: death, conspiracies, cover-ups, and moments that sounded more like war stories from Wayne’s Korean War buddies than anything else.
In the absence of truth, it gave Eddie ideas. He was a storyteller, a dungeon master, as close to a bard as a person could get in the real world. As much as Steve wanted him to, hell, as much as he wanted to, he couldn’t drop it. Even though he knew it was dangerous. Even though there was the threat of bodily harm to him and his family from some shadowy figure just off-stage in all of Steve’s stories.
It drove Eddie crazy, so he came up with theories -stories that were too ridiculous to be true but that scratched the itch Steve’s hints gave his brain.
His first theory: Aliens.
It explained the government cover-up, the terrifying situation, and how Steve got his powers. Scary experimentation was done on him aboard a spacecraft. It made narrative sense, but it was boring. Eddie liked fantasy more than sci-fi and didn’t find the idea particularly compelling.
After his counterthreat/mutually assured destruction/meeting/shared coffee with Hopper and Steve in January he thought it made enough sense to scratch the itch. It didn’t hold up for long.
Eddie was trying to remind himself he had reasons to be in a good mood.
He was going to go see Steve at the mall; he was going to get ice cream; he was going to see more of Steve's ass in those cute little shorts. He got to re-store the image away again, fresh, in his spank bank. He was escaping the heat of the summer. He was going to check out if Sam Goody had a better selection of metal—real metal, not hair or glam metal or any of that shit, real metal—than his local purveyor of fine music.
Joey, the store manager at the music store in the center of downtown Hawkins, tended to scoff at Eddie's desire to listen to good metal music. While he hoped the Sam Goody wouldn't scoff at him, he didn't really care, as long as they carried what he wanted.
He rode in his van down the road, rolling through a stop sign with a glance right and then left because, shocker, nobody was on the road right now. Stop signs in small towns were more recommendations than rules to follow. He was listening to some Sabbath and was disappointingly stone sober because his next stop was Rick's for a resupply—personal stash and business stash.
No matter how hard he tried to improve his mood, Steve’s ass in those shorts doing a lot of the heavy lifting, he couldn’t stop his mind from spiraling like it had all summer. No, since he got the notice, he wasn’t graduating. Again.
He had messed up long and hard this year. He failed yet another senior year. He'd almost lost out on having a boyfriend because he was a dumbass. And, he'd almost alienated everyone in Hellfire, see previously, being a dumbass.
He had been introduced to the fact that magical powers exist, and his first reaction had been to blackmail the guy.
Okay, to give himself a modicum of credit, he had thought Steve Harrington was only one notch down from Billy Hargrove when it came to all-around douchebaggery. It wasn’t an excuse as much as a reminder of his mindset when Steve ran into the the Hellfire room while Eddie was setting up and used his powers in a blind panic.
Eddie’s first thought when he saw the figurines floating in the air was, “Fuck, did I take something and forget?” His second thought was, “Holy shit, magic is real?” and his third thought was, “Fucking STEVE HARRINGTON has magic?”
Eddie had been such an incandescent mix of awe and jealousy at the moment he was glad all he did was try to blackmail a supposed asshole.
It turned out, Harrington wasn’t a douche or an ass. He was just some dude going through some stuff. Granted, it was weird stuff. Frankly terrifying and vague stuff, too. Stuff that involved Police Chief Hopper. And, if Eddie read the room right, Byers and Wheeler because that would explain their whole dynamic better than a year-long love triangle formed between the King, the Creep, and the Priss.
Eddie, in an attempt to recover from his first shitty instincts, reached out and found an unexpected friend in Steve. A friendship that grew into a crush. A crush he thought would live and die before the end of the school year or until Eddie could get the fuck out of Hawkins. Expect Harrington surprised him again with a kiss.
Eddie could hand wave and excuse his original shitty response to Steve. He didn’t have the information to know he’d read the room so badly.
However, his real sin came after meeting the real Steve. He continued to decide he knew Steve better than Steve knew himself. He was so damn sure he knew better with no proof. No matter what Steve told him or how he acted towards Eddie and his friends, Eddie decided Steve couldn't possibly, actually mean that he liked Eddie as a friend, or that he was queer, or that he was interested in more with Eddie, or that he cared for Eddie as a boyfriend.
Eddie fought against what Steve was telling him every step of the way, sure that it wasn't reality.
In the end, even Eddie could figure out he was running away from Steve and what he offered up to Eddie.
He was a runner. Running kept him safe, kept him alive when he was under his father’s “care,” kept him safe from the psychotic bullies at school, and kept him from getting in too much trouble with the local law - either from his gig selling to the teens of Hawkins High or his proclivities towards dick.
Eddie ran, but Steve had leashed him at some point, and Eddie could only run in a circle around the dude, like a dog tied to a stake. Steve sat just outside that circle, patiently waiting until Eddie was worn out, embarrassed, and somehow welcomed back.
Even if Eddie couldn’t barely look at it head on, he knew that what he felt for Steve was more than he’d ever felt for anyone before. He made Eddie soft and hopeful. Steve made him think good things could happen to him. That he might even deserve some of them.
Eddie didn’t fucking deserve the man. He might be a dumbass, and he might be a failure when it came to school, but he wasn't actually dumb. He knew he fucked up; he knew he was going to continue to fuck up. It wasn't exactly that he had tricked Steve into dating him, but Steve definitely thought Eddie was a better person than he actually was. For some reason, the guy couldn't see Eddie was an abject failure at pretty much everything he touched except for drug dealing and DMing.
Steve was nothing like him. And not because, as he would have thought last year, he’d have everything fed to him on a silver spoon. No, Steve was nothing like him because when the going got tough, Steve stood his ground, looked at the danger head on, and fought back without a second thought.
Steve, even earnestly and bravely, claimed his fucking queer identity with a little proud flush as he told Eddie, “I’m bisexual.” As if Eddie hadn’t had to fight for it for years in his own heart and still hadn’t been brave enough to say the words out loud. Hell, he’s fucked around with people before he said anything, even to himself.
He’d spent so long in denial about who he was and fighting teenage lust and sinful desires that, somehow, shame became a turn-on for him. He knew he was fucked in the brain because of it. Knew that he’d taken the weird sexuality he’d been born with and then twisted it even worse, making it dark and wrong.
And then there was Steve. Five seconds into knowing he was queer and he had the words to describe himself and a boyfriend. As far as Eddie could tell, he had no shame about anything sexual. He embraced himself totally with the ease of a straight person and a mouth born to suck cock. If it weren’t Eddie’s cock he’d be screaming in jealousy.
Eddie could barely accept Steve actually liked him enough to be his boyfriend. That he was interested in him - his mind, his humor, his body, his stories, his music - for a reason unfathomable to Eddie.
Eddie would never share the creepiness that lurked in his mind. The shit that got his dick harder than hard. He hadn’t lost Steve even though he’d been a freak and a creep to him multiple times over the course of the semester. He wasn’t going to risk anything else in their relationship. Not with the ugly truth. Instead, he knew he had to hide his sicko proclivities from his gentlemanly boyfriend. He pretended his handcuff belt was a trophy he’d won escaping the cops.
It wasn’t. The cops had never caught Eddie. Hopper always gave himself away long before he was close enough to Eddie to catch him. (Which he now thought was less a sign of piggish incompetence and more from some misguided but ultimately beneficial sign of consideration.)
Eddie pulled into the Starcourt parking lot and sought a spot far from the throngs of cars and cookie-cutter people who liked the mall. He didn’t mind walking in a little heat if he was spared angry small-town Moms in station wagons full of screaming children trying to pull out of their parking spaces.
Steve was a Lawful Good hero who deserved better than Eddie, and Eddie could barely keep his head above water trying to be the guy Steve deserved.
Eddie was a DM, which meant he played every NPC in the game. He was good at creating engaging characters his players loved. At the very least, Steve deserved a Neutral Good - Eddie could never play a believable Lawful Good character - boyfriend character for Steve to love—someone he deserved.
Eddie spied Steve’s BMW and parked next to it.
Steve thought Eddie was a good guy, but Eddie knew deep down he was a faker, a loser, a reject. The only thing he had to do to make sure his relationship with Steve survived was never to let Steve see the actual loser he was at the core of his soul. Not the clingy, needy, kinky, jealous freak Eddie was when he was all alone.
If anything, this summer, Eddie vowed to learn exactly how to be the best boyfriend Steve could imagine. It was the least he could do after he fucked up so hard for a whole semester and was still given the gracious forgiveness and lustful adoration of the True Paladin and King of Hawkins High.
Outside the mall was a barren, heat-scoured parking lot. Inside the mall was a hellscape of beige tile, neon lights, and fake potted ferns.
The closer Eddie walked to the food court, the more he could smell every storefront pumping out the scents of food they were cooking. It was a cacophony of smells that turned enticing stir-fry, pizza, pretzels, cookies, and ice cream into a competing mess of smells, as if someone had taken a real meal and blended it into a greige smoothie. Sure, it had all the components of a meal, but nothing about it was appealing.
He was not rescued from the hellscape as he entered Scoops Ahoy. If anything, it was like descending into a specific level of hell, and Steve was Eddie's Virgil.
The store's main color was still that same beige that flowed through the mall like it was the air the mall used to breathe, but it was dotted with jaunty, deeply vibrant reds and blues, all threaded through with a bright white that clashed against the warm, brownish beige of everything else. Inside, in order to appeal to someone (and Eddie could never figure out who it was supposed to appeal to), the store played nautical-themed music. It could have been an original song each time, but you would never know because it always sounded the same. The end effect was an endless repeat of accordion and plucky mandolin, all with an upbeat, swinging sound that was tolerable for the time it took to order a cone and leave the store, but if he spent more than three minutes inside, Eddie wanted to pluck his eyeballs out and stuff them in his ears to stop the sound.
Eddie could never figure out how Steve dealt with it every day, all day long. Steve said he tuned the songs out pretty quickly, but Eddie couldn't tune music out if he wanted to, and what was piped over Scoops Ahoy was even more offensive than the bland top 40 that was pumped out through the rest of the mall.
"Ahoy there," Steve called out, not looking in Eddie's direction, only healing the door chime that alerted him someone had walked into the store before he turned to give Eddie his full attention. The sales pitch smile slid off his face, and a real smile appeared as he said, "Hi Eddie." Eddie could tell Steve wanted to bounce around the counter, grab him, pull him into his arms, and give him a big kiss—the kind of thing he would have done with Nancy Wheeler or any of the girls he dated in the past. He was using all of his willpower to try to stay cool and play off his relationship with Eddie as normal, straight guy friends.
He was bad at it.
Eddie sometimes wondered if Steve wouldn't snap back to dating girls when they were inevitably over. It would be easier, that's for sure, and Steve, with his bisexuality, had the choice. Nothing about dating Eddie was easy; nothing was ever going to be easy for Steve again as long as they were together. Eddie couldn't believe Steve kept making the choice to stay with him.
Steve looked around to make sure the store was clear, and Robin or any other co-workers were not next to him before he leaned on the counter, winked, and said, "What can I get for you, sailor?"
"I don't know, Captain," Eddie said, no wink needed to hear the flirtatious tone in his voice. "What would you recommend?"
"I like the new U.S.S. Butterscotch," Steve said as Robin slinked out of the back room. The flirtation in his voice dropped with each word until, by the time he said, "butterscotch," he sounded like he was with any friend. "Robin," Steve greeted as he waited for Eddie to answer.
Eddie had been visiting since Steve started, and Robin, at this point, had gotten over her shock they were friends. She obviously didn't pay attention to any of the rumors that had floated around school since the middle of last semester when Steve had been more ostentatious in his support of Hellfire and of the Freaks and Geeks in Eddie's Circle. Eddie wasn't surprised; Robin was a band chick, and they didn't tend to pay attention to those under them in the tiers of the high school hierarchy.
"My lady Robin," Eddie said with a bow. She rolled her eyes, no blush in sight. She was definitely harder to please than even the cheerleaders tended to be at school. At least they blushed and giggled when he laid it on thick like that. Robin kept her barely concealed animosity wrapped around her like a rouge’s cloak and glared daggers at Steve and Eddie.
"So, you were saying, USS Butterscotch?" Eddie said, turning the conversation back to Steve. They might not be able to flirt right now, but talking to him was still more interesting than dealing with Robin.
"Yeah, you can have a taste if you like," Steve said, already reaching for the tiny taster spoons on his side of the countertop and diving into the ice cream freezer for a sample. Eddie tried to get a glimpse of Steve's ass through the glass and under the watchful gaze of Robin. Still, it was a moot point because as soon as Steve was bent over enough to give him a glimpse of the goods, the lights in the mall flickered, causing Steve to jolt and stiffen before they went out completely.
Eddie marveled for a moment at how completely dark and silent the mall was. Once all the whirring fans of the freezer, the rushing air of the air conditioning, and the competing music piped in from every single store and over the loudspeakers in the mall itself died, the mall was silent except for the faint shifting of people as they froze in place, too dark to see where they were going.
Eddie heard a panting breath; he knew it was Steve on instinct. He had heard panting breaths from Steve before in many different situations, from physical exertion, exertion of his powers, and exertion in Eddie's bed. He knew what Steve sounded like; what he didn't know was what that panting meant. As recognizable as it was, it was still like nothing else Eddie had ever heard from him.
Slowly, moans and groans of complaint started to fill the air around them as people calmed down from their first initial shock and filled the silence of the mall with reassurances to their friends that they were still safe, the complaints that this was going to ruin their day, and whatever other bullshit the plebs worried about during their long and boring days.
"Steve," Eddie called out in concern. "Steve, are you okay?"
Steve chattered a broken whine, a clicking of teeth. It was almost an inhuman sound, and the little hairs on Eddie's arm stood on end. Then Steve’s teeth clicked together enough that he could form the word “Eddie” with a croak.
"Steve, are you okay?" Eddie asked, trying to keep his own fear and panic out of his voice. Something was happening with Steve right now, something bigger than fear of the dark or anything else he could figure out.
"What the fuck,” Robin managed to say before Eddie or Steve could speak again. "Did you hear that? Was that-?"
She was cut off before she could finish her sentence by Steve, who said again, more clearly but still with the weird, otherworldly clicking and croaking in his voice, "’S too much. Think I'm gonna be sick."
The lights in the mall flickered once more and came on bright and glaring. Eddie squinted against the onslaught of light as he watched Steve tip out of the freezer and back onto the ground behind the counter. His face was pale, and his eyes were wide with shock.
The sounds of the mall that had been so silent before revved back to life as the air conditioning kicked on, the freezer started to buzz again, and the cacophony of music from across the mall lurched back on, including the discordantly cheerful sea shanties of the Scoops Ahoy approved playlist.
Eddie ran around the counter and dropped to his knees beside Steve, who still looked pale. His hands hovered near Steve, desperate to reach out and bridge the gap between them to comfort Steve with his touch, but he couldn't. It wasn’t safe. Shame ripped through him as he watched Steve shake. Eddie still couldn't touch Steve, not while Robin was here or someone else could oversee it, not while they were in public.
Eddie looked back at Robin, and even hostile Robin looked worried for Steve.
Eddie turned his focus back to Steve. "Steve, are you okay? Is this a-?" He cut himself off before he said something damning.
Steve looked at him. His eyes were wide with panic, but Eddie watched as the panic turned into recognition, realization, and the need to cover up. That was enough for Eddie to confirm that whatever had gone on in the dark was about Steve's powers or the Big Mystery. Whatever it was, it was dangerous.
"I don't feel so great," Steve said, eventually after a few deep breaths.
"Yeah, if you keep looking like that, you’re gonna scare off the customers," Robin's words were harsh, but her tone was soft with concern.
"I think I'm going to go home," Steve said. "I get migraines."
"You've only got like 30 minutes left in your day anyway," Robin agreed. "I can clock you out."
"I can take the pay cut," Steve argued back, and Eddie rolled his eyes. You didn't take a pay cut if someone was willing to clock you out on time.
"Don't be a dumbass." She said, clearly agreeing with Eddie.
"Do you need a ride home?" Eddie asked, fully knowing home for Steve now meant Hopper’s cabin. Steve was living there most of the time, at this point. Spending his evenings cooking dinner for his makeshift family and his days off working on cabin remodel Hopper had started in the late spring, just before Steve had graduated.
"No, I got the Beamer, and I need to make sure that I have a ride to work tomorrow."
Eddie was more than happy to give Steve a ride to work tomorrow, but if Steve needed space, then respecting that was the kind of thing a good boyfriend would do for Steve. So, he’d give Steve space.
"All right."
Eddie helped Steve back to his car, and after Steve drove off, he looked back at the mall. He could go to Sam Goody; he could do everything that he was going to do at the mall, including getting ice cream from Robin since it was still open, but he decided against it. He went to Rick’s, upped his supply, and went home.