Chapter Text
Partynoob hummed as they grabbed their favorite party hat that was sitting on a pile of dirty bricks. They put it on their head just the way they liked it: covering the entire top of their head.
That day, Partynoob was going to visit a beloved friend of theirs. That friend was one of their favorites - though Partynoob thought of all of their friends as their favorite. They were usually very friendly to anyone they met. They continued to hum their happy tune as they thought about their friend.
“ちょっと黙って?” a voice asked from a few feet away. The voice belonged to Partynoob’s other friend, Pest, who sat up to face him. He stood up from the bench he was sitting on with an annoyed expression. “Why are you even humming?”
“I’m going to see a friend, Partyguest!” Partynoob smiled. They spun around as they thought about all the fun things they would do with his friend later.
“Don’t call me that,” Pest growled, his bug-like pincers looking as sharp as ever. Pest was someone who got angry easily, and hated most people, but Partynoob knew that he was actually a big softie deep inside.
*Deep* inside. Partynoob just had to find it.
“Okay, Pesty! See you later, and try not to miss me too much!” they waved. Before Pest could say anything else, Partynoob turned around and began to walk away.
Partynoob’s footsteps echoed through the subway as they approached the exit to the maze of tunnels. They had lived in that subway with Pest for years, and despite all the dirt, and the smell, and the rats that would chew on their hat, Partynoob loved it.
A door blending in among the bricks greeted them as they stood to face it. The door could have been mistaken for a wall if one wasn’t looking closely.
This mysterious door was an entrance to the Regretevator - a magical elevator that could take you anywhere in the world. Partynoob had found some of their bestest friends there, such as the friendly caterpillar Pilby, or the sentient mannequin Mark.
The quickest way to see their friend was through the Regretevator. Sure, it was risky and dangerous, and each level was unpredictable, but Partynoob couldn’t be late. They would disappoint their friend if they did.
So, once the door opened, Partynoob stepped inside the Regretevator.
“My conspicuous comrade, why not stop to smell the flowers sometimes?” a tall, concrete man asked. His head almost touched the elevator ceiling due to his height.
“Because!” a black hairy figure proclaimed. “The flowers hear what you think! Don’t you see the little speakers in them?” She looked around the small elevator as though someone was watching her, and she seemed to be twitching a bit, as though she had drunk too much coffee.
“You mean… their buds?” the man asked. He had a look of confusion on his bald, concrete head.
The hairy black figure laughed. “That’s what they *want* you to think…”
The man sighed in defeat. He then looked over at the elevator door and smiled. “Ah, Partynoob. I remember you. How have you been, my excitable reveler?”
“Hi, Wallter! How have you been? Gone to any good parties lately?” Partynoob greeted. Partynoob had met Wallter a week ago, and Wallter seemed to immediately like his very outgoing personality. Though, when Partynoob mentioned the wooden bench he sometimes slept on, Wallter narrowed his eyes and muttered something that Partynoob couldn’t hear.
The hairy figure noticed Partynoob as well. “I remember you! I was just telling this innocent sheep about the ways the government can control your mind.”
“It’s great to see you too, Bive!” Bive was a conspiracy theorist that believed that the government was out to get her. She never stayed in one place for too long, but Partynoob enjoyed his conversations with her. Bive’s conspiracies were very interesting, even if everyone doubted them. “What are you doing in the Regretevator today?”
“I must go to the Minefield. I have a theory that those mines are actually signals that are meant to track us all,” Bive said. She took a sip of her cup filled with presumably coffee. How Bive managed to drink coffee even though she was made of hair, no one knew. No one also knew why she wore glasses, since no one could see her eyes - if she even had eyes.
“Oh, okay! And what about you?” Partynoob turned over to look at Wallter.
“I’m just taking a small trip to see some of the places this elevator goes to. As a lover of concrete, I sometimes enjoy visiting all different types of concrete all around this lovely world,” he explained. “And you, Partynoob?”
“I’m going to go see a friend!” Partynoob smiled. “I don’t want to be late.”
“Time is a man-made construct designed to lure us into a monotone and predictable system that will inevitably make us weak when the clown militia finally strikes,” Bive said. Her hands shook as she drank more coffee.
The three of them quickly turned towards the front of the elevator as its doors slid open. A very yellow level greeted them, and a sign saying “Splitsville” in neon yellow lights on the right wall told Partynoob where they were.
A girl with soft yellow skin and a bright yellow tail walked into the Regretevator. Her warm dark-yellow eyes brightened as she saw Bive, who began to shake even more.
“Bive! I haven’t seen you in forever! How are you ‘peeling?’” Split asked. She walked into the corner on Bive’s right.
“I- Uhm, well, I’ve been fine…” Bive stuttered. It was an open secret that the two liked each other, and the only one who didn’t know was Split, who seemed oblivious to Bive’s feelings.
“That’s great! You know, I’ve been ‘cavendish’ really cool dream lately. You were there!” Split recalled. Bive blushed a bright white even more - how she blushed, again, no one knew.
“D-dreams can lead to visions of the past. Have you seen any odd sightings of figures?” Bive asked.
Split paused for a moment, but then shook her head. “Nope! My memory of my dreams are always a bit ‘spotty!’”
“Hah! I get it! *Spotty*!” Bive laughed. Spilt often made puns, usually ones that were banana related, and Bive would always laugh at them, temporarily forgetting her conspiracist detective role.
Split then turned to face Partynoob. “Do you party often?”
Partynoob snapped back to attention and looked at her. “Maybe… who told you?”
“Your… hat!”
Partynoob gasped. Was Split a mindreader, or perhaps a psychic? “Really?!”
Split shrugged. “Nah.”
“Oh, thank goodness! I was worried for a moment!”
A couple of floors later, Partynoob had finally reached their destination. They waved goodbye to the others and walked out of the Regretevator, and into an ice-cream shop.
HC Icecream was one of Partynoob’s favorite places. It was a large, colorful ice cream shop with a variety of flavors. They came there often whenever they wanted some delicious ice cream.
A gray counter stood at the end of the room that held a few flavors of ice cream. There, a cream-colored cashier named Crem stood. A ball of pink ice cream with rainbow sprinkles and a cone sat on top of their head.
A white figure stood in front of the counter. It seemed lost, since it was looking from side to side. It had two black eyes and a vertical mouth that looked like a line across its face. It wore a green shirt and surprisingly had no legs.
Partynoob smiled and walked over to him. “Hi, Spud!”
(will update when finished)