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The familiar wail of your six-month-old infant carried into the bedroom you shared with your husband, Aki Hayakawa. You always slept with an arm and leg slung over him and drool falling out of the corner of your mouth. As you turned on your side to get out of bed, you felt a hand on your shoulder. The soft touch was accompanied by a confident, “I got it,” whispered in the dark. Aki got up as you rolled over to check the alarm clock. It was currently 6:00 am, and you had to wake up to get ready for work at 7:00 am. You were so grateful that Aki quit his job as a devil hunter to be a house husband.
“Thank you, Aki,” you thought, rolling onto your back and closing your eyes. “You’re the best.”
Aki calmly walked into the small kitchen, turned on the light, and filled a mug with tap water. He put the mug in the microwave for a minute. He then opened the refrigerator cluttered with papers held up by colorful magnets to grab a bottle of formula. Leaving the cold bottle on the counter, he pulled back the blue curtain hiding the balcony door. He watched the sun slowly rise over the cityscape until the microwave beeped. Returning to the kitchen, he took out the mug and dipped his finger into it to check the temperature. He then placed the baby bottle into the mug to warm it. Pulling up the left sleeve of his light grey sweatshirt, he squirted some of the formula onto his inner wrist to ensure it wasn’t too hot.
Aki placed the bottle, a dark blue bib, and a white cloth on the floor table before entering the baby's room. He turned on the light and walked towards the wooden crib. The dark-haired baby dressed in a light blue long-sleeved onesie was still crying with clenched fists. Aki picked him up and held him close to his chest, cradling the back of his head.
“Good morning, Taiyo,” he said in a calm and sweet voice. “Let’s have some breakfast.”
Aki carried the crying child out of the bedroom, shutting the light off on the way out. He sat on a cushion in front of the low table with his legs loosely crossed. He placed Taiyo between his legs and put on his bib. He then cradled him in his arms and waited for him to latch onto the bottle’s nipple. Finally, at ease, Taiyo opened his bright blue eyes, just like the ones looking down at him. Everyone said Taiyo looked exactly like his father, but he argued he looked more like the original Taiyo. He choose to name his son after his late little brother to honor and remember him. You loved the idea and hoped that it would give him some closure.
Taiyo held onto his bottle, but Aki kept a firm grasp on it to control the flow of formula. He tilted it back, giving his baby a break, and then forward again, repeating the process throughout the feeding. Aki then held him over his shoulder and gently patted his back to make him burp. He rubbed Taiyo’s back after every few pats to soothe him. After a few burps, Aki placed Taiyo between his legs, removed his bib, and then took him back to his bedroom.
After flicking on the light, he momentarily placed him into his crib to prepare the changing station. A light blue blanket with yellow ducks was spread out on the floor. A fresh diaper, wipes, and a disposal bag were placed on the side. Aki rolled up both sleeves and took Taiyo out of his crib. Placing him onto the blanket, he unbuttoned his onesie and removed it to ensure it wouldn’t get dirty. He then undid the diaper and was hit with the full force of a foul odor he was used to at this point. He held Taiyo’s legs with one hand and wiped him with the other without a change in his expression.
The dirty diaper was then wrapped tightly and placed into the plastic bag. Aki used a wipe for his hands before blowing air onto Taiyo’s exposed tummy. He giggled and happily shook his little arms while Aki smiled and repeated the action. After being redressed, Taiyo was placed back in his crib.
Aki returned to the kitchen with the dirty diaper bag and threw it in the garbage. He then washed his hands and poured out the water left in the mug. He grabbed the dirty bottle from the floor table and washed it. He filled the kettle with tap water and placed it on the stovetop. While it boiled, he went into the bathroom to use the toilet and then splashed cold water onto his face. He squeezed toothpaste onto his toothbrush and looked straight into the mirror while brushing. When he returned to the kitchen, he turned off the stovetop to let the water cool for 30 minutes.
Before you woke up, your husband had a lot to do, starting with preparing your bento box. Every day, you went into the office with a delicious and nutritious lunch that your husband made. Many other women were jealous of your lovely little bento box and complained that their husbands didn’t do that for them. Aki took pride in what he prepared you; you could taste his love in every bite. He was the same way with preparing dinner, which was usually ready when you came home. He would even make a sweet treat to share after the meal if he had some extra time.
Aki put on his dark red apron and repeatedly washed a cup of rice. He made sure the water ran clear before putting the rice into the rice cooker. He then poured panko onto a plate and put cooking oil into a pan. He opened the refrigerator to get eggs and a package of boneless chicken while the oil heated up. Two eggs were whisked in a bowl using chopsticks. The chicken, now coated in the egg mixture, was covered in panko before being transferred into the hot oil. Aki listened carefully to the sound of the chicken sizzling and crackling while washing the vegetables. He flipped the chicken over when ready and put the vegetables into another pan.
Aki carefully packed the cooked rice into your bento box, placing the sliced chicken on top and the vegetables on the side. After putting it into the refrigerator, he prepared four bottles of formula, carefully measuring the powder, and then poured the warm water into each bottle. He made sure they were all exactly 6 ounces and then put them into the refrigerator as well.
Aki refilled the kettle with water and set it to boil while he washed the pots and pans he used to make your lunch. You always appreciated how he kept everything clean. Finally, he ground the coffee beans manually and put them into a filter above the coffee pot. You awoke to the smell of freshly brewed coffee and went into the kitchen to wrap your arms around your husband from behind. He poured the water steadily as coffee slowly dripped into the pot.
“Good morning, Aki,” you said cheerfully. “Can I have my good morning kiss?”
“Go brush your teeth, and I’ll give you a kiss.”
You released your husband with a giggle and then went to the bathroom to use the toilet and brush your teeth. He poured you a cup of coffee and left it for you on the floor table. He then got several eggs from the refrigerator and beat them in a bowl. He poured the egg mixture into a square pan, which he rolled using a spatula. When you returned to the kitchen, he turned toward you and gave you a peck on the lips. Wrapping your arms around his neck, you pulled him down in a demand for more. He allowed you to slip your tongue past his lips and moaned softly. You did this every morning, and it still caught him off guard. Parting from him, you cupped his jaw with both hands and looked into his eyes lovingly.
“Marry me,” you said softly.
“I did.”
“Marry me again.”
Aki smiled softly and met you halfway for another passionate kiss. The eggs in the pan started to brown at the bottom. When Aki realized he had left the eggs unattended, he ripped himself away from you and turned toward the pan.
“Shit! My eggs!”
He quickly turned the rolled omelet over to save it from burning and poured more egg mixture into the pan. You smiled softly and then went into your baby’s bedroom. After turning on the light, you approached his crib and scooped him up into your arms.
“Good morning, Taiyo,” you said sweetly. “Did Daddy feed and change you?”
The beautiful baby boy reached up toward you, cooing softly in response. You smiled and carried him into the kitchen as Aki plated the rolled omelet.
“Whose that?” You asked, pointing to Aki. “Is that Daddy?”
Aki glanced up and smiled while Taiyo reached toward him while babbling. He then brought the plate to the rice cooker, where some rice was left over.
“Can you say, ‘dada?’” You asked Taiyo. “Say ‘dada.’”
Taiyo continued to babble as Aki opened the refrigerator and grabbed a bottle of ketchup. He squeezed a squiggly line of ketchup over your egg just how you liked it and then returned the ketchup bottle to the refrigerator. You lifted Taiyo above your head, and he reached out to touch your face.
“Can you say, ‘mama?’” You asked Taiyo. “Say, ‘mama.’”
“He’s not going to be able to talk for a while.”
“Oh yeah? Watch him say his first word while I’m at work…”
“If that happens, I’ll call you.”
“It’s not the same as being there…”
You lowered Taiyo as Aki brought your plate over to the floor table along with a pair of chopsticks. He then came to take Taiyo from your arms so you could eat.
“You’re not going to miss anything,” Aki assured you. “So don’t worry.”
You smiled softly and then looked down at Taiyo, babbling nonstop. Gently, you brushed aside his bangs to admire him, while Aki admired you and your smile.
“Daddy takes good care of both of us,” you told Taiyo. “He makes sure we’re both fed and happy.”
You tapped Taiyo’s nose, making him giggle, and then tapped Aki’s nose, making him chuckle breathlessly. While you went to eat your breakfast at the floor table, Aki put Taiyo in the baby bouncer. Some toys were dangling from the overhead to keep him entertained for a little while. He then returned to the kitchen and poured himself a cup of coffee. You cut into the omelet with your chopsticks and then brought a piece to your mouth. It was delicious as usual.
“So, got any exciting plans for today?” You asked Aki.
“I’m probably gonna take Taiyo to the grocery store later.”
“Heh. Have fun shopping.”
Aki took off his apron, took a well-earned sip of his coffee, and then set the mug on the counter. He went into the bedroom momentarily and returned in his open-toe slippers. After grabbing the newspaper, he picked up his mug and approached the balcony door.
“I’m gonna go out for a smoke,” Aki told you.
“I thought you said you were trying to quit.”
“I am. This is my cigarette for the day.”
Aki slid the door open and then slid it shut after stepping outside. He sat down in his white plastic chair and took his cigarette pack and lighter out of his pocket. Opening the newspaper, he reviewed the daily news and took another sip of coffee. After finishing the paper, he tapped the side of his cigarette pack to free a cigarette. Holding it between his lips, he ignited the lighter. He took a puff and blew out the smoke, holding the cigarette between his fingers. He never smoked in the apartment or near Taiyo, but the strong smell still lingered on him. For the sake of his son, he chose to quit smoking, but old habits die hard.
His mind drifted back to the past as he tapped his cigarette to shake off the ash. The smell of cigarettes would always remind him of Himeno. You would have lost Aki on that terrible day if not for her sacrifice. You came to the hospital after Himeno’s sister had left and tearfully hugged him. Sitting on the bed on your knees, you begged him over and over to quit public safety. It was Himeno’s wish for him to quit public safety and live a normal life. He was stubborn and determined to avenge his family by killing the Gun Devil. It was an impossible task, but he convinced himself he would do it or die trying. One little thing, however, changed everything. Holding both of his shoulders, you looked into his eyes while tears fell from yours.
“Aki,” you said softly, desperately. “Please— I need you— We need you.”
Your boyfriend’s eyes widened with the realization that you had been keeping a secret from him. You weren’t sure how he would react, but after he almost died, you couldn’t keep it to yourself anymore. He had to choose between avenging his family or helping you start a new one.
After blowing out another smoke cloud, Aki put out the cigarette on the ashtray. He finished his coffee before going back into the apartment. Aki handed you the newspaper, and in exchange, you gave him the clean plate with a soft, “thank you.” Aki washed the dishes and pots while you finished your morning coffee. There was a story about the Gun Devil in the newspaper that you were certain Aki had read. You glanced up at him, but you couldn’t read his expression. He seemed calm and focused as usual. Taiyo continued to bounce and shake his arms while babbling.
“Aki,” you said.
“Yeah?”
There was a lot you wanted to say, but it would make little difference. You knew there would always still be a part of him that would want to be out there chasing the Gun Devil instead of washing dishes and changing diapers.
“Nothing… Never mind.”
You finished your coffee and then got up to hand him your empty mug. While he washed it, you kissed him on the cheek and then went into the bedroom to get dressed. He sprayed the counter, wiped it, and cleaned the floor table. You put on your business suit and wedding ring and did your makeup in the bathroom. When you exited the bathroom, Aki entered the bedroom and opened his drawer. Pushing his clothes back, he revealed his cursed sword that was no longer cursed. He had given up much of his lifespan in pursuit of revenge. You and Taiyo would only get to spend a little bit of time with him before his life expired. You tried not to think about it because you would cry if you did. Every moment spent as a family mattered.
He unsheathed the sword halfway and saw his reflection in the metal. He remembered the day he made his decision to quit public safety. He told Denji and Power before he told anyone else.
“Wait— You’re kicking us out because you knocked up your girlfriend?” Denji asked. “When did that happen!?”
Aki pinched the bridge of his nose and took a deep breath. This was a serious conversation that needed to be taken seriously.
“I am quitting public safety, so you two will be relocated.”
“Nay,” Power said, putting a hand up. “We will remain with the small human and teach it our ways.”
“First of all, I won’t have room for all of you. Second of all, Miss Makima won’t allow it.”
Denji and Power looked at each other, realizing that Aki was serious. He then put a hand on each of their shoulders and looked directly at Denji.
“But I want you to promise me something,” Aki said, dead serious. “Promise me that you will kill the Gun Devil. I don’t care how long it takes— just make sure it’s done.”
In the present, Aki sheathed the blade and then hid it underneath his clothes again. He then picked out a dark blue long-sleeve shirt, casual grey pants, and white socks. In the bathroom, he put his hair into a topknot and smoothed out the top while looking in the mirror. You opened the refrigerator to get your bento box as Aki came to take Taiyo out of the bouncer. After putting your purse over your shoulder, you went to the door, and Aki followed.
“See you later,” you said to Aki. “Have a good day.”
“You too.”
You cupped his cheek and kissed him before kissing Taiyo on the forehead. Aki grabbed his little wrist and made him wave as you waved back. After you left, he shut the door and lifted Taiyo above his head.
“You know the routine,” he told Taiyo. “Chores first, then we’ll play for a little and do some shopping.”
Taiyo responded with a series of incomprehensible coos before his father put him into his playpen. He grabbed his rattle, full of colorful balls, and shook it. Aki kept his ears open, listening to the sounds of a happy baby while he dumped the laundry into the washing machine. He then measured the correct amount of detergent powder and set it to wash. While the clothes tumbled around, he began to vacuum the living area. Taiyo feared the vacuum as a newborn but became used to the noise. Aki was glad he didn’t have to turn off the vacuum anymore and console him. He became smarter and more accustomed to the world around him every day.
When the laundry finished tumbling, Aki transferred it into the drier for forty-five minutes. He then pushed the floor table out of the way and took Taiyo out of the playpen to put him on the clean floor. While on his belly, he attempted to crawl toward his father but failed to make much progress. After a little while, Aki put his hands underneath his arms and sat him upright in front of him. Then he pinched together his thumb, pinky, and ring finger while holding up his middle and index finger.
“This is bunny.”
Taiyo giggled and clapped as Aki made his hand bounce towards him. Aki smiled softly at Taiyo’s amused reaction and felt warmth inside his chest. He then added his middle finger to the other fingers, touching his thumb and bending his index finger.
“This is a dog.”
Taiyo giggled again as his father demonstrated the sound a dog makes. After that, he raised his index finger and pinky while keeping the other fingers together.
“This is a fox.”
Taiyo giggled a third time, but Aki’s relaxed smile faded as he stared at his hand. There was no response to the symbol that once summoned the Fox Devil. Contracts with devils were a thing of the past.
Aki changed their game to peek-a-boo, which entertained Taiyo just as well. When the laundry was drying, he placed him back into the playpen to entertain himself. He listened for the sound of the rattle while he folded the clothes. The smell of fresh laundry was such a delight. A sudden cry then cut through the air, making Aki leave the laundry room immediately. Picking up Taiyo, he felt his soggy diaper and brought him to his bedroom to change him.
Since Taiyo was already undressed he decided to get him ready for the day. After wiping his hands he opened the drawer full of baby clothes. He put him in a light blue shirt, jean overalls, and white socks. In the bathroom, Aki held Taiyo firmly on the edge of the sink with one hand while he brushed his hair with the other. He cooed and leaned in to try to touch the mirror, but Aki kept him in place. Naturally, he was fascinated with his own reflection. Taking the hair tie between his teeth, he gathered Taiyo’s hair to put it in a tiny topknot. Taiyo looked into the mirror and pointed while babbling nonsense.
“Yeah,” Aki said, as if he understood him. “That’s you and me.”
Aki allowed Taiyo to stare into the mirror briefly before bringing him back into the living area. He placed him on the floor to put on his dark blue canvas sneakers. He then put on his almost identical canvas sneakers and tied them. Holding Taiyo with one arm, he got his wallet, keys, cigarette pack, lighter, and wedding ring. He decided to finish folding the laundry later when Taiyo took his nap. Going to the grocery store when they first opened guaranteed good produce. He preferred to go in the morning or afternoon instead of after work like he used to. After he strapped Taiyo into the car seat, he gave him a ring of colorful plastic keys. The baby happily shook the keys as he drove to the grocery store.
Taiyo was placed into the shopping cart facing outward as Aki pushed it. He picked up some carrots in the produce section and showed them to Taiyo. He also showed him apples and pears before putting them into the cart. He picked up a small tangerine and let Taiyo hold it for a second. He happily kicked his little legs in the cart. All of the colors and shapes were so exciting to him. A simple trip to the grocery store was a stimulating and educational experience. On other days, Aki took him to the park, where he saw dogs, birds, and bicyclists. The world was brighter and more exciting through the eyes of his son.
Aki put his items on the conveyor belt, and Taiyo reached out to help. His soft coos and adorable hairstyle stole the heart of the cashier.
“Aww, what a cute baby,” the cashier said. “He looks just like you!”
“Thank you,” Aki said politely. “We… Get that a lot...”
Aki looked averted his gaze with a light blush as the cashier continued to gush over his son. He was always attractive to women, but somehow, Taiyo made him seem even more attractive. It was just so heartwarming to see a loving father taking care of his little look-alike.
Once he loaded the car with groceries, he put Taiyo into his car seat and drove home. He momentarily left him in his car seat while bringing groceries into the apartment. Taking him out of the car seat, he carried him into the apartment and put him on the floor to take off his shoes. He then placed Taiyo into the playpen to put the groceries away. He washed, peeled, and chopped the carrots before pushing them into a pot of boiling water. Opening the refrigerator, he got a bottle of formula and waited for the carrots to soften. He then put the formula and carrots into the blender until it became a smooth puree. Some of it went into a bowl, while the rest went into the refrigerator.
Aki held Taiyo between his legs and put on his bib before attempting to feed him some of the homemade baby food. Only recently was he introduced to foods other than formula. He didn’t like green vegetables, and Aki had to learn that the hard way. The carrots were his favorite, along with apples. When Aki brought the spoon to his mouth, he opened it wide.
“Good job,” he said, encouraging him.
Aki continued to feed his son until the small bowl was empty. He then put him over his shoulder and gently rubbed his back. Bringing him into his bedroom, he took off his overalls and placed him into his crib for a nap. After turning off the light, he returned to the laundry room to finish folding the clothes. He then went into the kitchen to start making his lunch. He chopped some onions and potatoes, and the phone rang. Taiyo began to cry, and Aki cursed under his breath. He picked up the phone and held it against his shoulder and ear.
“Yeah?” He said, a little annoyed.
“Hi honey,” you said. “How’s it going?”
“I just put Taiyo down for a nap.”
“Oh… Did I wake him up?”
“It’s okay, we’ll talk later.”
Aki rushed you off the phone to go soothe Taiyo by bouncing him his arms. He then put him back into his crib and resumed making his lunch. He called you back and held the phone against his shoulder and ear again.
“Hey,” he said. “I’m sorry about that.”
“I… I understand… You have a lot to do.”
“How’s work going? Is your boss still an asshole?”
“Heh. Yeah.”
“Well fuck him.”
You smiled softly, feeling his support. When you wanted to rant about your day over a beer or two at dinner, he let you.
“What are you doing now?” You asked him.
“I’m making curry.”
“I love your curry.”
“Just my curry? You don’t love me?”
“Of course I love you! I love you and everything you do!”
He smiled softly, feeling your love. A moment of silence passed as you nervously twirled the phone cord with a finger.
“Aki… Can I ask you a question?”
“What is it?”
“Do you resent me for making you quit public safety?”
He paused.
“No.”
You paused.
“Do you honestly think I miss hunting devils?” He asked you. “I never enjoyed it— I did it for one reason and one reason only.”
“Yeah, but—”
“Look— I can’t be out there hunting the Gun Devil and here taking care of my family. A lot of people have told me to quit, but you’re the only one who gave me a new reason to live. Don’t ever apologize for it.”
You started to tear up as you looked down at your bento box. Aki leaned against the counter while you wiped your eyes with your arm.
“I… I’m going to have my lunch now,” you told him. “It looks delicious…”
“Enjoy it. Not sure what I’m making for dinner yet…”
“You’ll think of something… I’m sure.”
Aki said goodbye to you and then hung up the phone as you began to eat your lunch. He left the kitchen momentarily to go out onto the balcony. The whole conversation left him tense and in need of relief. He placed a cigarette between his lips and held his lighter. He flicked it several times, but it did not ignite. Leaning against the balcony railing, he looked out at the city. He wondered how Denji and Power were doing without him. He wondered how you would do without him and if Taiyo would remember him. He then took the unlit cigarette out of his mouth and flicked it off the balcony. Turning, he went back into the apartment to continue making lunch for himself.