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Quan Yizhen very rarely thought about anyone outside his Shixiong and himself. For the longest time it was just them, and no, that did not include Jian Yu.
Despite the popular thought, Quan Yizhen hadn’t immediately trusted his Shixiong when he first came to the sect. In fact he was far more wary of him then even the Sect Elders, because he was the strongest there and Quan Yizhen knew it even when he had been young. If someone like Jian Yu who had been much weaker then Shixiong could hurt and nearly kill Quan Yizhen, then Shixiong didn’t have to bat an eye to do it either.
That is to say he still didn’t want to fight him either.
Or that he didn’t admire him.
The days he wasn’t training he would watch Shixiong train and try to learn everything about the older teen. It was much easier doing it behind a wall INSIDE then on top of the tree branch outside of it. There were too many leaves in the way but he watched the older teen, his eyes immediately drawn to him. It never made sense why people would call Shixiong a normal handsome man. What about Shixiong was normal to these people? Were they blind?
No one has ever held attention like him. Plain was the farthest thing that could describe someone like the older teen.
It was less that he was plain and more that he
fit in.
Shixiong…..was perfect in a way everyone expected and wanted him to be.
It was so hard trying to understand that, in fact he still is unable to understand how his Shixiong can act the way he does and not get upset. Well upset with anyone but him at least. His face always held this warm genuine smile that anyone could have. The fact that he gave it to a dirty street rat who was throwing mud and stones at him and sect brothers was beyond amazing.
Quan Yizhen always had forgettable people talking in his ear about this and that, behave like this, don’t do that, just talking talk talk until his head was full of useless words and rules that gave him headaches and made him mad. So what if he punched one or a couple hundred disciples? They never respected when he told them to stop, or listened to him when he talked. They just wanted Quan Yizhen to follow their stupid rules so they can be assholes to him free reign.
They never liked that he always fought back. Besides the Elders and Shixiong none of them had his respect and especially not Jian Yu the leader of the pack.
He had to admit nothing made him feel so vindictively happy then when they approved Shixiongs request to enter him in the sect despite Jian Yu’s multiple complaints. Seeing him flush red in anger as the Elders hushed him made him want to giggle.
Back to someone important again, his Shixiong earned his trust, earned him listening to him, hell even helped give him his name as he had none. Because he listened to Quan Yizhen….mostly. He was the only one Quan Yizhen felt the need to ever explain why he did the things he did, why he fought, why he got mad, why he didn’t behave the way he knew his Shixiong wanted.
But Shixiong was kind and indulged him, or took the heat off of him when he really got on everyone's nerves. The only time he ever listened to anyone else but Shixiong was
ugh
Jian Yu, who told him all he was good for was fighting, and that was all he ever was going to be good for.
It was true though, he was good at it, is good at it. Enough to Ascend as a god for it.
More importantly it was enough for the Elders to spoil him once they saw just how good he was. Even curry more favor with his Shixiong which made him more lenient with him. Maybe it was a bad thing in the long run but Quan Yizhen was a selfish kid and his Shixiong was kind and became even kinder the better he became. So he believed if he became the best fighter Shixiong would care even more for him.
It worked, because his first birthday was also chosen by Shixiong during the Autumn festival, and he got his first gift. And the year after and after that as well until he got his favorite one.
His earrings. They sat well on his face and the texture didn’t bother him at all. Quan Yizhen never took them off after that, wanting to show his Shixiongs favoritism off to everyone. After all they weren't cheap and everyone's eyes would always be drawn to them when he walked into the room.
This was proof that Shixiong cared about him.
That day when all the disciples had enough of him and went to complain to Shixiong he stayed outside the windows listening. Heart in throat, because there was always that…fear, that Shixiong was only pretending to like him. Only pretending to be nice, and he would be find with that really. So Long as Shixiong never became mean, he would be fine.
It didn’t end up being fine….that kindness became a lie too.
He still can’t be mad though, it was nice while it lasted. He still kept the earrings if nothing else.
He had been thrown away for being too strange, too wild, too direct. Unable to do the things he was ordered or obey the higher concubines and children. He was just one of many after all, so after they got tired of him they ignored him.
It still hurt. When his mother took him too far from the compound, from the village. A strange warm tea that made him sleep for a long time. He doesn’t remember how long he had been asleep in her lap but he remembers the fingers playing with his hair and petting his head as they rode in the carriage.
Soft hums filled his sleep, and he remembered being laid on something so very soft when they finally stopped.
There was a kiss to his forehead before he fell asleep once more.
When he woke up he was in a forest, it had been so dark and so cold and the only warmth was the robe his mother would wear wrapped around him like a thick blanket.
“Shixiong….Do you think I’m annoying?”
His heart soared so high at the answer, he never thought to question the strange expression on his Shixiongs face. His words had been enough, and for the longest time it was enough. Quan Yizhen learned to explain himself, and learned to be quieter.
However one can only be disrespected for so long before his fists start doing the talking again, and heaven was filled with the assholes like the ones he thought he left behind.
The best lesson is the one learned in front of everyone.
So he taught them when they DARED to try to ruin his Shixiongs special day what happens when you fuck with the wrong Shidi.
To Quan Yizhen his world only revolves around Shixiong and himself. That was all he needed, even if unfortunately Jian Yu was there too. But he could tolerate it, even when Shixiong was clearly upset and didn’t want to say he was. He actually got upset with Quan Yizhen a lot but his kindness would never let him voice it. It stayed in that warm smile even if his eyes had become more distant. Quan Yizhen just wanted Shixiong to stop worrying about him, he was no longer a child that needed to be watched over, he was an adult. Yes he wants to stay by his side, but as an equal one that could keep Shixiong smiling at him.
And then his Shixiong had given him a challenge, and Quan Yizhen fulfilled it within the year. He ascended as a martial art god cause in the end all he was good for was fighting. His Shixiong looked ... .not happy but he became happy eventually.
His Shixiong had been happy, he did it to make him happy. Fighting was all he was good for and that had been what made him happy.
When did he stop being happy with him?
Quan Yizhen did as he pleased but at Shixiongs insistence he got a palace of his own now that he was a god in his own right. As he walked into his palace the day Shixiong had dropped him off….he could help but feel like the day his mother left him in the woods.
It had been just as dark and cold.
It became a place to sleep when he wasn’t running around in the mortal realm. It was the only thing besides finally becoming Shixiongs equal that made him feel like this god thing was worth it. Finally to do as he pleases with no one to make him do otherwise besides Shixiong. Now that he was a god Shixiong can stop worrying.
He stopped seeing his Shixiong so much afterwards, slowly the visits and meetings stopped happening. He didn’t know what to do, fear filled him, anxiety filled him.
Was Shixiong pulling away from him?
The glimpses he would have of the man had his every warm smile becoming weaker and more tired.
He had become popular and another problem came forth.
The chattering again, only this time with praises and sticky fingers, and people who dont understand personal space and keep talking and talking and TALKING.
It was the same problem back at the sect only now everyone is trying to be nice when they weren't before. No one wants to fight him now, which is boring, but now he wishes they did because this chattering doesn’t stop.
It followed him everywhere giving him headaches and making him mad, but he wasn't allowed to hit them for that so he stayed in the mortal realm as often as possible.
Until.
Until the Mid Autumn Festival.
The day of his gift.
That was when he thought he knew Shixiong didn’t want him around anymore, but he gave him a gift and it was amazing! It was all pretty and gold and matched his earrings! His Shixiong wasn’t mad at him; he must have been keeping quiet to surprise him!
Like the earrings he hardly took the armor off and only to sleep, but when he was awake it was the first thing he would go for. He felt more powerful with it on as if nothing could stop him.
The phantom feeling of teeth sometimes ripped into his flesh was painful, the bouts of dizziness as he felt too light, like he was being drained. But it was okay because he was a god now. He must have gotten sick, even though gods no longer get sick.
Finding out it was a cruel prank by Jian Yu, well everything started to make sense.
The week he wore it had been both wonderful and terrible, but it was fine he could get through it. He didn’t want to worry Shixiong so kept on as he always did, but like in the sect, he showed off his gift. The one that showed his Shixiong cared, that he wasn’t upset, that he still-
The world had become fuzzy when Shixiong appeared again, he remember Jun Wu and Ling Wen, then nothing else.
He woke up in pain with the god of the south over him telling him to lay back down, then holding him in place which made him bare his teeth and cough up blood. Quan Yizhen tried to fight but he felt too light like something was missing. Something warm and sticky kept spilling from his neck as he fought heavens doctors trying to find Shixiong, cause if he was injured what about Shixiong who had been right beside him?
A tea had been poured down his throat and like when he was little he felt like he was floating. There was no humming though just southern god making angry noises, he felt something being peeled off of him and belatedly realized it was Shixiongs gift.
The pull of sleep was strong and he slipped into the darkness where things weren't as strange and confusing. When he wakes up he will find his Shixiong again and get the armor back. Maybe go on patrol like he said he would.
Quan Yizhen awoke in darkness, his body aching in a way it hasn't since he had been human. One he had himself together he quickly got dressed and went to find his Shixiong. His feet hit the floor hard as in his rush as he forgot his shoes. He had to hurry, he didn’t know why but he felt like he had to be there-
A chill went down his spine as he saw his Shixiongs palace
gone.
No.
Nononononon!
“QUAN YIZHEN WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT OF BED!?”
The southern god from before ran over to him looking angry before his face became complicated. Quan Yizhen tried to speak only for his throat to gurgle, his hands going to it feeling bandages around his neck.
“Listen I know you’re angry but I need you to-”
“Where is Shixiong?!”
Blood spat onto the ground and suddenly he was hauled from the ground, on instinct his fist flew and it was caught in the gods hand. Quan Yizhen can’t remember the last time he felt so weak!
“I am not going to fight you, the armor you have been wearing has been draining you spiritually and physically. If it wasn’t for the fact you were a god you would have dropped dead the first day. There is no way you didn’t feel that! Why would you keep wearing something that was hurting you?!”
Quan Yizhen struggled but at his current state he couldn’t do anything and was hauled away from the blank space that used to be his Shixiongs palace.
It took them multiple times to keep him subdued learning of Jian Yu’s role and his Shixiong’s banishment, Jun Wu had to lock him to his palace to prevent him from escaping. That horrible tea being forced down his throat to keep him compliant until the south god declared him healed.
His first order of business was finding shixiong again, once he finds him and clear this mistake, everything will be fine again. Shixiong will be a god again, maybe even find Jian Yu and knock him around for pulling such a dirty trick with his birthday present. Everything will go back to normal.
A couple of fools made the mistake of trying to come with him, but at the time he didn’t know. He thought they wanted to help him find Shixiong too because Shixiong was friends with everyone, he was always good at that.
The moment someone suggested hurting him though.
That is when Quan Yizhen knew what they were really here for.
Explaining to Jun Wu why he had to return his gods in such mangled states was a pain but everyone was ordered off from helping him so it was worth it. Year after year he went to the mortal realm and searched for his Shixiong or waited at the pavilion in hopes he would ascend again. If anyone could ascend once more it would be his Shixiong, cause he wasn’t someone who was plain or normal.
Shixiong was his world, it had just been the two of them, that's what Quan Yizhen thought. But Shixiong wasn’t happy in a world that was just two of them, and Quan Yizhen learned that too.
“Hey are you ok?”
Quan Yizhen jolted up feeling cranky, he looked around the updated shrine of his Highness confused until he remembered where he was. He had been taking a break under his highness' suggestion from circulating his power into Shixiongs body. He had been feeling very drained and decided not to fight for once. Turning to the side he saw Shi Qingxuan with a warm smile on his face, looking patient as he waited for Quan Yizhen to wake up fully.
“Hey Sleepy head, we got to go back to the fields, the locals wanted help. So I offered ours, come on lets get you some water.”
Shi Qingxuan gently pulled him from his seat, not seeming to mind the way Quan Yizhen would stare at him sometimes. Or the way he talked, or how he got cranky. If anything he gave as good as he got, when Quan Yizhen was cranky Shi Qingxuan would understand but still berate him not to take his sleepiness out on others. He was fine with the way he talked and asked if he wanted elaboration.
They never talked in heaven only once or twice out of politeness. Quan Yizhen never saw the need to be honest. But he was content to be here with the former wind god anyway, he only wished he had a reason to talk to him sooner if this is how he really was.
His world widened a bit more to include his highness, and now he feels like adding Shi Qingxuan to it.
The man, while apprehensive of working with Quan Yizhen at first warmed up quickly and filled the world with his chatter. It was soothing because while Shi Qingxuan was talking he actually didn't expect Quan Yizhen to listen and it became a rhythmic background noise.
Then what became background noise turned to him actually listening to what the former Wind master was saying and Quan Yizhen would make little sounds to let him know he was paying attention. The first time he had done this caught Shi Qingxuan off guard making him stare at him in confusion and alight awe.
His face turned a bit strange, softening, making Quan Yizhen look away for a bit. He must have did something right because the chatter continued only with purpose this time and Quan Yizhen would make sure he was listening, and watching.