Work Text:
Rain.
Ryuunosuke Akutagawa always had mixed feelings about the rain.
On one hand, he appreciated the dull gray covering that it provided. It seemed to soften out all of the rough edges of the world, blanketing it in a dismal, but comforting, silence… silence that was just loud enough to quiet the rampant thoughts that plagued his mind day after day. He appreciated the silence, it provided him a way to unwind or at least a way to get some rest.
However, on the other hand, it reminded him of how depressing life could truly be. He had lived in a constant state of denial, preferring to mask his emotions by keeping up an act of angst and hatred… but the rain? The rain reminded him of loneliness, of colds that used to be deadly to catch, and of countless nights spent shivering all alone without cover. The grayness that blocked out all sunlight just seemed to seep into his skin and his clothes, leaving him feeling alone and empty.
The contrast of these two dispositions lead to indifference.
Ryuunosuke Akutagawa was indifferent to the rain that was currently battering against his window as he sat there reading, not particularly interested in the book but not disinterested either, a perfect balance of boredom and entertainment.
Most of his life had been contradictory like that, he didn’t think much of it anymore. He was simply a paradox, he always had been and always will be this way.
As his eyes are lazily scanning the pages, the man that is currently thrown over his body, like a cat having no regard for personal space or boundaries, begins to stir. The ravenette starts to card his free hand through the silver locks, enjoying the way that they glided off of his fingers like silk, particularly interested in trying to smooth the little tufts that stuck straight upwards - tangled by sleep.
He had memorized the way that the man who he was currently holding wakes up.
First, a grumble or two, not necessarily moving but definitely making his presence known. Second, a good old stretch followed by a soft nuzzle into whatever part of Ryuunosuke’s body he was currently cuddled up to. Third, a clumsy pat along the older man’s arm as he searched for his face. And finally, those gorgeous, gorgeous eyes would open and would crinkle up into a smile at the sight of his already awake partner.
He loved this little routine, just as much as he loved adoring the man as he slept, holding onto every single breath and movement as if it were a keepsake worth millions.
Sure enough, the weretiger followed the same routine as always and then he was slowly sitting up, rubbing at his eyes before mumbling,
“How long was I out for?”
“Hm..well I read about 90 pages give or take I assume..”
The younger just rolls his eyes fondly before tiredly laughing,
“You know that’s not what I meant”
“Correct, you know I like taunting you.”
He recieves no response this time as he watches Atsushi’s eyes shift to the window, eyes following the raindrops that race down the glass.
What happens next is a surprise to Ryuunosuke.
“It’s raining.”
“Well yes, I suppose it is. What of it?”
All of a sudden his boyfriend springs up excitedly, life and joy filling his eyes as he practically jumps,
“Well come on! Don’t waste it!”
“Pardon me?”
The Rashōmon user blinks at him owlishly, why was he so excited by rain?
“It doesn’t rain often, let's go! Please!”
Atsushi grabs his lover's hand and kisses it a few times, slightly swaying back and forth as he tries to contain his excitement.
Whereas Akutagawa was indifferent to the rain, Atsushi was quite the opposite.
Although he undoubtedly had some bad experiences that he associated with rain, particularly the one time that the headmaster left him outside with fresh wounds as the rain poured down and soaked his clothes as he shivered and did his best to seek warmth, he had joyful experiences that pushed those memories far far away.
Atsushi enjoyed how beautiful the rain was. The way it smelled, the way it sounded, the way it looked on leaves, and the way that it seemed to bring people together. He always adored how two people who may have not met otherwise would be huddled under the same awning, striking up a conversation that could lead to something entirely new and wonderful. He doted on the children laughing, jumping in puddles, excitedly screaming as they splash around with their friends. And his chest always felt warm when he watched a couple, no matter what age, share an umbrella as they walked hand in hand, enjoying the weather together.
Atsushi saw the good in the rain.
He holds his boyfriend’s hand, playing with his fingers as he gives him puppy eyes, oh he 100% knows how much power those eyes of his hold over the other, and mumbles,
“I’ve always wanted to play around in the rain with you..”
Akutagawa keeps his face stoic, doing his best to hide how his heart soared at how adorable his boyfriend was, but he cracked a bit and a soft smile appeared on his face as he exhaled,
“But why?”
Atsushi flushes a bit,
“Well… it’s like the movies. And you owe me after-…”
It was hard for the older to argue with that.
“Alright, as long as you promise that as soon as we get inside you take the wet clothes off. I can’t handle taking care of a sick weretiger two months in a row.”
Atsushi smiles widely and attacks Ryuunosuke’s face with kisses before abruptly pulling him upwards as he rushes towards the door, frantically toeing his shoes on. The older man laughs and takes his time, knowing just how much it got on the other’s nerves when he did so.
And get on his nerves he did because soon enough the younger was tapping his foot and groaning, growing more anxious that somehow the rain would magically disappear if they didn’t get outside this instant.
Ryuunosuke was infatuated with this more childish side of him. He knew better than anyone what Atsushi had to go through, and how his childhood was stolen from him. But because of this, he learned to acknowledge that this is why Atsushi sometimes acts like a child when he gets excited: he never got to experience the joy that everyone talks about. Never having the chance to make friends and to partake in imagination games, never being allowed to run around outside, and watching as all the other children in some way or another got to enjoy just being a kid.
He knows Atsushi didn’t have that.
And although Ryuunosuke was put into a similar situation, his own childlike attributes have a tendency to show as well…. but his typically involve pouting and not having the best emotional intelligence (though that’s something he and Atsushi are currently working on).
Eventually his shoes are on and he’s out the door, happily watching as his boyfriend practically flies down the apartment stairwell, silver hair darting around to try and get to the bottom as quickly as possible.
When he reaches the end of the stairs, Atsushi is waiting for him, smiling widely as the water drips down his face.
And oh, oh…
Akutagawa falls in love with him all over again.
Silver hair is drenched and messy, making little waves as Atsushi runs his fingers through it. White t-shirts clinging tightly to soft skin, exposing little patches of slightly toned muscle. Fair skin shining as the water drips down it, coating his face in a dewy glow.
Atsushi was ethereal.
But before he could stand and gawk for too long, the “ethereal” man pulls him forward, and spins him around as he laughs,
“Ryuu! Come on don’t be a grouch.”
The water shocks him, as the cool liquid runs down his face, but soon enough he’s smiling too, chasing Atsushi around like a little kid.
They jump in puddles, Atsushi laughing as he jumps in a particularly dirty one that sprays the dark haired man’s clothes and stains his perfectly white shirt a shade of murky brown. Akutagawa quickly retaliates by using Rashōmon to tip the awning that was holding buckets and buckets of water on top of the younger’s head, which earns him a growl and a playful smile.
Eventually, the two have tired each other out, forgetting (or not seeming to care) that people passing by are staring at the two grown ass men playing around like children.
But… Atsushi isn’t done. There’s one last thing he wants to do.
“Ryuu?”
“Yes?”
“Come here.”
Atsushi snakes his arms around firm shoulders, smiling into his lover’s eyes.
“This is like the movies, yeah?”
And he’s done it again.
Akutagawa swallows dryly and smiles, putting his hands on the silver haired man’s hips, gripping gently as they begin to sway. The sound of the rain drowning out the thumping of their hearts, providing ambience to the moment that seemed to separate them from the rest of the world. They move slowly, Atsushi humming some tune that was slightly familiar to Akutagawa, but he couldn’t put his finger on it. The younger leans up for a kiss, delicately catching his boyfriend's lips on his own, reverent and sweet. They pull away and rest their foreheads together, cheeks dusted with pink and smiles wider than the grand canyon.
“Thank you for going out into the rain with me.”
“I love you.”
“I love you too.”
Ryuunosuke Akutagawa had always felt indifferent towards the rain, but as he watched Atsushi, every single inch of him touched by water, he thought, maybe… just maybe… the rain wasn’t all that bad.
At least when he was with Atsushi, Akutagawa could learn to love the rain.