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“Bare Thakur, mai Calcutta se nayi train le raha hoon. Meri train miss ho hogayi hai.”
“Bas?” said the Khabri, slinging his bag over his shoulder up high.
“Haan bas.” with that, Satya turned around, seeking an empty bench and spotting one before he walks towards it and sits down. His mind is so excited for studying law, that too in London, among his colonizers and learn equality and justice among the whites. Sounds a bit funny and unpredictable. His hand clutches the handle of his bag as he relaxes back into the bench, craning up his neck to look at the sky.
Law, Studying, London, Travel, Fun, Education, Job, Bulbbul-
“Bhabhi?” he says out loud. Shit, he got carried away and into the sky he sees Bulbbul’s face st their last meeting, crying. Her wet eyelashes, the dark of their lawn, moonlight on her tear stained face.
He sits up straight now, “Bhabhi. Maine unhe khuda hafiz nahi kaha!” he stands up abruptly, stomping to the ticket master’s cabin, “Bhaiyya, Bengal ki koi train hai?” the ticket master looks through his schedule hanging on his left, squinting through his glasses, “Hmm, Chauki number 13. Magar woh bas nikalne wali hogi-” Satya’s gone, running blindly to chauki number 13 to get back to Bengal and bid his bhabhi goodbye.
Bhabhi.
Such an annoying word. One word, one relation, one person all too wrong.
Bhabhi is wrong, that marriage is wrong, her husband is wrong -
Satya’s too occupied, running and jumping onto the train, “Conductor! Yeh train begal jaa rahi haina?”
“Chote Thakur. Jee jee-”
“Theek hai” he smiles in relief.
The first time he met Bulbbul, he was so excited to be her friend. To talk to her and tell her all about the horror stories he knows, and with time she was the only person he could forget he is a Thakur with.
With bulbbul, he feels like Satya. Just Satya.
Satya arrived at home, sneaking in to surprise his favourite person. The one he has an unnamed bond with, his friend, his dearest friend.
He lets himself into the mansion, giving his bags to the servants. “Apne kamre mai hongi, itni dair bhi toh hogayi hai.” he looks at the sky to check and indeed the clouds have darkened over the entirety of it. A real beauty. Especially when it reflected in Bulbbul's kohl filled eyes.
But as he draws closer to her room, he hears a scream. A horrified, painful scream coming from the washroom. “Bhabhi girr toh nahi gayi?!” he thinks and rushes inside the room, his heart is racing, hands are trembling hearing the scream turn into a hiss and he knocks on the door but another scream comes, in much more agony than before and its his cue to break that shit down. He takes a step back, and knocks his body into the door, breaking it down.
He wishes he never saw a sight like this, ever.
“Thakur dada?” said man had braced his stick for another whack but Satya rushes between, grabbing the bloodied stick and pushing the eldest away, “Yeh kya kar rahe hain aap?!-” his voice booms, and he looks down at the two bruises bleeding from her legs and shuts his eyes, looking away immediately.
He can't see this, “Bhabhi ko takleef ho rahi hogi!” his deep voice resonates in the empty walls and he looks around to find a towel hanging.
With his eyes still shut, he gives it to Bulbbul who's still on the floor in shock. Her husband stands with eyes wide and anger still seeping through his face, glaring at Satya now.
“Jaiye. Aapko araam ki zaroorat hai.” Satya says, “Jaiye.” more sterny this time and the man throws down the stick dropping blood onto the floor and leaves the washroom, definitely to take bigger steps outside.
“Bhabhi?” he drops down to the floor, looking at her face that was covered in pain and in hurt, confusion, betrayal, everything. Satya gathers courage, taking a breath in,
“Bulbbul?” and she snaps out of her daze, managing to sit up and Satya looks away yet again to let her drape the towel on herself.
“Aap theek hain?” he asks, hearing her hics and heavy breathing,
With him still looking away, Bulbbul crashes into his shoulder and begins sobbing. Loud and frustrated, she's sobbing, breaking down, “Maine kaha tha na. Mujhe iss ghar mai akele darr lagta hai! Isi liye lagta hai.” Satya realizes his mistake.
his mistake to leave bulbbul alone in this house.
his fortune to come back for her.
His hand comes up to rest on the back of her head, caressing her tangled unruly hair softly. In his chest, the feeling of comfort clouds just like the storm outside, and Bulbbul's comforted, easened. “Mujhe maaf kardijiye, bhabhi. Mai kitna khudgarz hogaya tha.” he curses himself in his heart, how selfish of him.
She leans back from his shoulder, looking into his eyes in the dark, moonlight shining from the window, thunder yelling right outside “Yeh sab kya hua hai.”
“Aap batayen, Thakur dada ko kya hua? Achanak aese, mai- mai toh soch bhi nahi sakta ke woh aesa kar sakte hain-”
“Kar sakte hain.” she finishes, a different look in her eyes now and Satya gulps down the lump in his throat. “Chalen mai aapki patti kardoon. Bohat dard ho raha hoga na?”
“Ab nahi,” she keeps her eyes on him as she says that, “Ab nahi ho raha dard.”
Satya smiles, “Aap bhi na. Chote mai bhi aapko mazzaak sooj raha hai.” he puts an arm under the back of her knees and one around her shoulders, “Satya-” he doesn't let her finish, he can't.
Not when he's right here. He can't leave Bulbbul on her own just because he will get his brother angry, or because someone wants to raise questions on their relation.
Questions on what, even they don't know what to call this bond.
“Aap haath gardan mai daalo, Thakur dada ko mai apne tareeqay se sambhaal loonga.” he grunts as he stands up from the ground, carrying Satya carefully, he wants to stop the blood immediately. He opens the door of the washroom to the room, and doesn't find his brother in it. So he keeps walking, and out of the room, “Mera kamra toh waheen reh gaya” she says, and he looks at her pointedly.
“Aapko lagta hai mai yeh sab dekhne ke baad aapko wahan rehne doonga?”
She’s been staring at the side of his face for so long and she finally breaks into a tired smile, “Tum wapis kese aaye?” He walks them into his room, keeping the door open for this mansion's goddamn filthy minds. They think he doesn't know what they talk about? They think he doesn't know who's sleeping with whom, who's thinking what?
“Meri train choot gayi thi. Bas thori daer khayalon ke saath akela betha toh ehsaas hua ke aapko khuda hafiz nahi keh ke gaya.”
He lowers her down to his bed, gentle and careful with her feet especially. One hand slips under her neck to bring down the pillow, “Tum mere liye wapas aaye they?” she asks, forgetting her hand is still on his collar and their faces are close, “Haan.” he replies and leans back to his actual height.
“Mai didi ko bulata hoon.”
Binodini tends to the bruises and helps her dress up for the night. As she's leaving Satya stops her midway, “Didi.”
“Haan?” she looks at Satya, blank eyes.
“Aapko pata haina kya hua hai?” she's easy to understand with her expression mimicking of a deer in headlights. “Nahi, woh, mai toh apne kamre-”
“Mujhe jaanna hai. Zaroori hai.” he lowers his voice and she looks at him bewildered. Her hands begin fumbling with her pallu and she avoids his gaze,
“Woh, Bade Thakur ko tumhare aur choti bahu ke baare mai pata chal gaya tha.”
Satya's brows furrow, “Mai aur…aap?”
“Huh?”
“Choti bahu aap hi hain, Didi.”
She looks even more anxious with that realisation forcee upon her, “Mera matlab tha, aap aur bari bahu.”
“Humare bare mai? Humare bare mai kya?!”
“Yehi ke aap…dono aik doosre ko….pasand karte ho.”
“Kya?!” Satya's shocked, his mind is fumbling to form any coherent words. He needs to talk to his brother right now.
“Us diary mai kya tha?” Thakur asks. Satya stands in his place, opposite of him where Thakur had his back facing him. “Konsi diary?”
“Jo tumne Bulbbul ko dii thi.”
Satya thinks back to their book, his coauthor, the woman who can reimagine any story as a horror one. His pen that wrote word after word, knowing Bulbbul will finish it.
“Humari kahani. Jo maine aur bhabhi ne mil ke likhi hai.”
“Dekha! Tum- mere hi ghar mai, meri hi biwi se-” Thakur comes towards him, furious and seething, but Satya returns the anger equally, “Aapki biwi se kya? Kahani likhi hai? Drauni kahani jo mai unhe bachpan se sunata araha hoon?” he doesn't yell but he's firm, glaring into his brother's eyes.
“Acha? Toh phir kaaghaz pe tumhara aur uska naam kyun likha tha?”
“Kyun? Kyunke uspe bhabhi ka utna hi haqq hai jitna ke mera. Jitni maine likhi, utni hi woh bhi likhengi. Aap bataiye, aapne unko kyun maara? Woh bhi itne wehsiyana andaaz se?!”
“Kyunke mujhe shaqq tha ke woh aur tum-”
“Sirf shaqq ki bunyad pe aapne unki taangen zakhmi kardi? Woh toh mai agaya toh aap ruk gaye warna aap toh nahi rukte. Kya aapne aik dafa bhi unse poocha? Unke dil mai kya hai?! Sach kya hai?”
Silence replies to every word of his, and the truth upsets him beyond his own limits. He's had enough.
“Iss shaqq ko, ab mai yaqeen aur sach mai badloonga. Bulbbul aap jese aadmi ke saath nahi reh sakti.” Thakurs eyes turn wide, he grabs Satya's collar, “Meri biwi-”
“Biwi woh hoti jisse aap mohabbat karen. Aur aap bulbbul se mohabbat nahi karte.”- (Mai karta hoon) He yanks away Thakur's hand from his collar, “Wese bhi iss ghar mai kisi aur ka zyada mann hai bari bahu banne ka.” he seethes through gritted teeth, horrifying his brother even more.
Between right and wrong, there's the truth. Bulbbul is innocent, his brother an evil, egotistical, dangerous man. He turns on his heel and gets to leave the room,
“Kya matlab, Satya! Tu meri naak ke neeche se meri biwi ko le jayega?”
“Jee. Yehi karoonga.” he walks out of the room, ending the conversation and down the corridoor to check on Bulbbul. He finds his elder brother Mahendra lurking around, peeking into his room and he places a hand on his shoulder, “Dada? Apne kamre mai jao. Bohat raat ho gayi hai.”
He re-enters his room, keeping the door wide open. The creak of his door wakes her up and he remembers he needs to oil it soon.
“Dard kesa hai?” he asks and brings over a stool to sit on, right beside the bed. She looks fresher and more relieved. “Bohat accha.”
“Dard? Bohat accha?” he lets out a small laugh, “Baat ki Thakur se? Kya kaha unhone?”
Satya's breath comes short, he's nervous and anticipating. What does he say now? He bluffed too much back there. Bulbbul definitely likes him only as a friend and appreciates him so much. Putting forward such a request, is bizarre. Isn't it?
“Batao, kya hua?” she asks again, sitting up against the headboard.
“Woh bata rahey they ke unhen humari kahani mili. Parr shayad woh uss kahani ke baaqi panne parh hi nahi paaye. Unhone pehle hi safhe se shaqq kia aur nikal diye ghusse ki aag mai.”
“Shaqq? Kesa shaqq?” she searches his eyes for answers, the thunder and its blue light shining on Satya's face, “Unhe laga ke hum dono ke beech kuch…aur hai.”
The room echoes with silence and Satya looks up from his legs to see Bulbbul's unreadable expression.
“Mai jo kehne wala hoon, aap uska bura mat maaniyega bhabhi magar…mai ab aapko Thakur Dada ke hawale nahi kar sakta. Zindagi mai kabhi nahi.'' Now that its silent, he can say everything. The last decision is all Bulbbul’s but he must still offer.
“Mai…iss shaqq ko sach banana chaahta hoon. Lekin, aap jo chaahogi, sirf aur sirf wohi hoga.”
He keeps his eyes to read her face, how it turns from confusion, to relief to surprise, and hesitation. “Tum, mujhe? Apnana chaahte ho?”
Satya nods and she breaks into a grin, nodding her head, filling the man's heart with relief and joy before her smile falters, “Magar, Thakur-”
“Maine aap se kaha tha na, mai sambhal loonga. Aap so jaiye. Mai sab sambhaal loonga.”
Bulbbul's big smile is back, how it brightens up the room and how her eyes hold that innocence and tenderness. Satya feels his heart race in his chest and he ignores it, not the right time to be over excited when he has the world to face from tomorrow morning.
And that entire night, Satya spends outside the room, at a smalld istance from her, with her privacy and with his attention on everyone in the house that could potentially harm Bulbbul.