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"Pretend to be your girlfriend...? Akito, have you finally lost your mind?"
An twitched her eye in disbelief, having difficulty in comprehending a request from one of her teammates on their way home from school. The person who made the request rubbed his nape awkwardly, seemingly unable to look directly into her judging eyes after making that kind of shameless request. For a moment he couldn't say anything back as if a cat got his tongue.
She could feel her frustration started to swell inside her. The request itself was already crazy, yet even so, the reason for her to be so frustrated was something else. Something that she had been hiding from him and everyone else for quite some time.
—If I finally get to fill the role as your girlfriend, I want it to be the real one, not some kind of a play pretend. Are you trying to play with my feelings right now?
Her blood boiled despite knowing there was no way Akito had any idea about her feelings, but as soon as he explained about the reason her annoyance subsided as it was replaced by surprise at the information he gave her.
"No, wait, listen to me first... Just a week ago, you and the others saw how I was called by someone who came to watch our live, right?" he sighed, looking very troubled. "At that time, I was confessed, but when I turned her down she started following me around. 'You don't have any lover now, right? We can start by trying to know each other then' I think she kept repeating something along that line every time I told her to stop."
"Huh, something like that happened?" She gave Akito a dumbfounded look, and at the same time finally realizing yet again that Shinonome Akito was, in fact, quite popular. A gloomy feeling slowly seeped somewhere into her heart, in which An managed to keep a straight face. Akito nodded.
"Yeah... it was annoying, so I lied about having a girlfriend, but she keeps insisting that she doesn't believe it. That's why..." he stopped his story to look at her, it might be just in her head that she thought she saw his ears slightly changed into a pinkish tint. "...I'm asking for your help here to convince that person. There's no one else but you that I can ask for this kind of thing, so please help me, An. Just allow me to take you on date... I mean, a fake date."
Ahh, geez...
Why did a person grow soft when they developed a crush on someone? Shiraishi An wanted to mentally slap the hell out of her for wanting to give in right away when he sounded as if he was pleading to her with his palms joined together in front of his face. It might be strange to say she was happy that he relied on her like this, and the words 'There's no one else but you' sent her over the moon. An never knew she was this easy.
"...Alright, I'll help you out," She finally agreed with a resigned sigh. "Just one date, remember that!"
He brightened, "Yeah, thanks. I owe you one, An."
She'd definitely never tell him how her heart wouldn't shut up seeing his sincere smile as he thanked her.
On Saturday in the same week as when he made that request, she finally went on that date with Akito to fill in the place of his nonexistent girlfriend. Even though it was just a pretend, it might be a little stupid for her to put some effort into choosing her outfit and doing her makeup for today, for feeling a little excited to go on a date with him too. At the very least, she felt pleasant when Akito seemed to pause for a moment seeing her look as they met in front of the station.
According to him, she'd always make it as if she ran into him by coincidence, but in fact, she had been following him around. An could confirm this, as she already felt a pricking gaze as soon as they walked together from the station. Akito caught quite a troublesome one.
The date for today came with a plan.
First, they would walk around while holding hands to show off that she was really his girlfriend. All this time they should stick close to each other and put on various kinds of lover act to be convincing. An felt her heart thumped loudly against its cage when Akito put his hand on her waist to pull her closer towards him, and butterflies spread their wings in her stomach when he leaned in to whisper in front of her ears. When he buried his face in her hair, she suddenly struggled desperately to remember the scent of her shampoo.
To go on a date with someone was, unexpectedly more nerve-wracking that she thought. How did one can handle walking around all day with a heart that beat this loud?
She wondered whether he also felt the same way as her, this unfamiliar giddy feeling. Even though for her, he was her crush. While for him, she was probably just one of his teammates.
Then, they entered a photo box to make couple selfie sticker. A photo box was usually always fun, but Shiraishi An had only noticed now how small the box was as her shoulder was pressing closely with Akito inside. Was it always this hot in here as well? Suddenly, An forgot how she'd normally feel when she did photo box together with her friends. They took some silly poses, which she also found cute. All the time wondering what was the point in doing this when they would stop this after a day, are you going to keep it even after this? Well, she'd personally keep it though, just secretly.
To feel happy to be this close with your crush as well as disappointed when you remembered this was just a pretend, her feelings were mixed up and her stomach churned.
"An."
As she was silently dealing with her conflicting feelings, Akito suddenly called her name, bringing her back to reality. She didn't realize he was already pulling her to a more secluded back alley. That meant it was already the time to do the main event, she gulped as she looked up at his face. It relieved her a little to see his face was also colored in a faint red despite his face which looked too calm for her comfort.
"Lean your face closer," he whispered as he gently cupped her face, slowly bringing his face closer to her until she could feel his warm breath on her skin. Her current state of heart was probably the loudest it had ever been in this single day, or even throughout her entire life.
It was because the girl still hadn't given up and still persistently followed them that they had to proceed to this part of the plan, she tried to ignore her own heartbeat ringing in her eardrums as she circled her arms around his neck. Her feet tiptoed a little because of the difference. She vaguely remembered in the back of her mind how he grew taller by 2cm just a little while ago, adding more to their height gap.
The main event was to pretend to kiss, so the girl would have no choice but to believe that they were really a couple. He repeatedly explained that he wouldn't actually kiss her, and they would only deceive by playing with perspective. Something that was reassuring, yet at the same time, slightly disappointing.
That was the plan, it was supposed to be.
As his face got closer and closer in closing the distance between them, she reflexively closed her eyes, only relying on his voice to tell her that the plan was a success then they could finally make a distance between each other.
Yet, she suddenly felt a soft sensation, pressing on her lips and staying like that for a while. Her eyelids slowly fluttered open; it was a familiar orange-color that greeted her. Somehow the hand that was holding her face earlier was now holding her waist, and An could feel herself almost wanting to just drown in this pleasant comfort like she was floating.
No, not like this, I don't want it to do it like this. Not in this kind of situation. Akito!
She finally managed to push him away. She was a little breathless, and so was he. His eyes widened as if he finally realized what he just did, his face soon twisted in guilt. "A-An, I—!?"
Before he could even explain himself, An already grabbed him by the collar and dragged him with her towards the girl who had been watching them from behind the corner. She threw him at her forcefully, that the girl also flinched. "Here, your Akito," she said angrily. "You guys can finish your business, I'm out of here. Akito, I'm leaving. Thanks for the date today."
"O-Oi, An! Wait!!!!"
An turned on her heels and stormed away, ignoring his call from behind her. Her steps turned into run, and she picked up her pace through the back alley when she could hear him running behind her. An did her best to outrun him, but it seemed she couldn't win against a soccer club helper who was already used running around the field. Akito finally caught her hand, preventing her to escape.
Ah, damn it. She really didn't want him to see her right now—
"Look, I'm sorry for doing something that offends you... but please listen to me—huh... An, you're crying?"
—because her face was such a mess.
Akito panicked as tears continued to stream down her cheeks as she gritted her teeth. Even if she wanted to stop it from pouring, she couldn't, and she felt pathetic for letting him see this ugly crying face of hers. Sometimes it annoyed her that humans could end up crying not only because they felt sad, but also when they were terribly angry. The worst, she wiped away her own tears with her hands. Why did you do that to me, Akito?
"I'm sorry... I'm really sorry for kissing you without your consent and went out of the plan. You can punch me as much as you want, An. Just, please don't cry..." he stopped her hand that harshly wiped her face and used his sleeve to gently wipe the tears off her face. "Sorry... you must be so angry to do that kind of thing with someone you don't want."
His voice was so full of guilt that it also made her heart ached, but it was true that she was angry at him. The reason was just different.
"That's... not it," she managed to say in between her tears. "...I'm not angry because I did it with Akito. I'm angry because you kiss me in that kind of situation. I don't want to kiss you as your fake lover! If I can finally get to kiss you, I want my first kiss to happen as your real lover!! Akito, you jerk!!!"
Akito blinked his eyes, unable to utter a word. An took a deep breath before continued talking, "Isn't it unfair? For this one day, there was never a moment my heart would shut up as I pretended to be your girlfriend. I was constantly wondering whether my hand was sweaty as we held hands, but Akito never thought of anything as we did it, right? You looked so calm, and I was the only one getting excited despite knowing we were just pretending."
"Wait, An."
"Your choice of pose in the photo box was also lame! Why did you press your cheek so close to me!? Akito must not have even the slightest idea how bad I wanted to kiss your cheek at that time! Go on, go flirt with everyone without even realizing it, you clueless bastard!"
"An, really, wait for a minute please."
"The pretend kiss too! I thought it was a little too much when you suggested it, but you kept saying that it was needed and reassured me that you definitely wouldn't do it. Have you ever imagined how conflicted I felt for feeling relieved but also disappointed at the same time? Even though Akito already made me feel that way, you suddenly went around and kissed me as you liked. Who gives Akito the right to play around with my feelings like that!?"
"An, listen to me for a bit..."
"Hey, no matter how I think about it, it's unfair... isn't it? In that kiss, it was only me who holds such a feeling for you... I was happy to kiss Akito... but, also... really sad..."
Tears started to trickle down her cheeks again even though he had already wiped her face clean. Embarrassing, so embarrassing, she didn't want to whine so pathetically at him like this about her feelings that she had been hiding all this time. The only thing she wanted to do right now was to run away, but her hand was still firmly held in his. She felt him giving her hand a gentle squeeze as he leaned closer to her face.
"...An."
He called her name again once she calmed down, with a voice that sounded different than usual. It was sweeter, softer, and more affectionate than she could remember. His thumb wiped the tears on the corner of her right eye, while he kissed the one on the other. Her breath hitched for a moment.
"You're wrong, you're not the only one who felt like that." Akito moved her hand that he was holding to his chest, her eyes widened. "Try comparing this to yours... do you really think I had it easy trying to keep a calm look this whole time? I said there's no one else but you that I could ask to help me, that was because I don't want any chance of you misunderstanding the situation to happen."
His heart was racing right now, more than her even. She could feel it on her palm. Her eyes blinked as she stared at him, she finally noticed how his face was also dyed red to his ears and neck.
"...Sorry, the kiss was still my fault in the end. I thought I would be able to control myself but having your face so close to me... my gaze was fixated to your lips. When you closed your eyes, I guess I've finally lost my reason. I apologize if what I did hurt you... at the very least, please know that I have no intention to play with your feelings. Not at all."
Akito moved his hand to stroke her hair and land a gentle kiss on her cheek. "I love you, An," he finally said the words she never expected him to say to her, the movement of his lips as he said the words tickled her a little. "...Next time, to make it up for today, do you want to go on another date with me? Not to do some kind of play pretend this time, but as my real girlfriend from now on."
She smiled at him, with her eyes narrowed pleasantly. Pulling him into a hug, An buried her face in his chest.
"Mhm, I don't mind. I love you too, so I want to go on numerous date with Akito. Just one more thing," she suddenly pulled herself away from his chest to look up at him, he raised a brow. When An circled her arms around his neck and tiptoed slightly just like what she did back then, he finally got an idea about it.
"The one from before... let's redo it. I want to do it properly this time."
"...Is it even something that can be redo? Geez," he laughed a little before holding her by the waist to pull her closer towards him. "Alright then... let's redo it as much as you want until you're satisfied."
"Hey, are you gonna make a mistake on purpose so I will ask Akito to redo it multiple times? Do it properly!"
"Haha, who knows... just kidding. I'll kiss you properly, so don't worry about it."
As he leaned in, for the second time that day, their lips met. Although with a change in their relationship status from now on.