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Bucky sighed when his phone rang just as he was letting himself into his apartment, and a check showed that it was his mother. Like a sixth sense, I swear, her timing... He dropped his keys into their dish by the door and thumbed on his phone. “Hey, Ma, howya doin’?”
He could hear his mother smiling. “Bucky, honey, I’m good, how are you? Listen, we’re going to be doing a candle lighting next week for First Night, please tell me you finally have a nice Jewish girl you’re dating, or any girl at all, really, you could bring along.”
Bucky scowled for a moment, then wiped it off his face before his mom could hear it. “Ma… truth is….” I’m so single it hurts. “Well…” Or maybe I finally come out to her and derail the whole conversation? “I have a boyfriend.”
She gasped, but it sounded more like excitement than shock. “Oh, sweetie! Thank you so much for telling me! Of course he’s welcome, bring him along!” Abruptly, she pulled the phone away from her mouth. “Oy! Rebecca Priscilla! What did I tell you-” She brought the phone back. “Bucky, baby, I gotta go, your sister thinks she can use my good shears for her ceramics-” She hung up in the middle of the rant, and Bucky could only shake his head… and then panic a little both at coming out to a family member, even if she had taken it pretty dang well, and at the huge lie he had just told. What the fuck was he going to do?
~A~A~
He paced around the apartment, unable to settle, until his roommates (and best friends, and objets des crush…) got home from their respective workplaces, which fortunately were within minutes of each other.
“Hey Buckaroo.” Tony practically danced through the door, which meant he’d had a good day coding. Maybe that meant he’d have some good ideas for Bucky, too.
“Hey, Tones. Welcome home.” Bucky did his best to fake his usual enthusiasm. He’d been having a good day, dammit!
But of course Tony picked up on his mood, coming closer with a frown. “Bucky? You ok?”
Bucky shrugged. “Enh. Let’s wait til Steve gets home, I can tell you both at once.” Tony gave him an assessing look, then nodded and headed for his coffee maker.
Mere moments (that each felt like an eternity to Bucky) later, Steve came grumbling into the apartment, unwrapping the layers of scarf and coat and hoodie that kept his thin frame warm. After a minute or two, he apparently noticed Bucky’s pacing, and tilted his head curiously. “Buck? Everything alright? You’re a little-”
Bucky nodded sharply. “I’m ok. I’m, this is ok. It’s not that big a deal, right?” The others crowded in close, which gave him the courage to blurt it all out. “So, the good news is, I came out to my Mom, she took it really well. The bad news is, I did it by telling her I have a boyfriend, and now I need to bring my boyfriend to Hannukah next week.”
“I’ll do it.” “I’ll go with you.” They spoke so quickly their voices overlapped. Bucky pulled back a little to stare at them, while they looked back and forth between Bucky and each other.
Steve shrugged. “I mean, if you’d rather take Tony, I understand, he’s the one who’s technically Jewish, and all of them know me as your friend…”
Bucky sighed. Even saying this was a bad idea, but he let it slip out anyway. “Pity I can’t take both of you, distract them from the queer thing with a polyamory thing. That’s crazy, though, right?”
Tony just grinned. “No, I’ve got it, ok? This is perfect, we can make it work. So, Bucky, I asked you out, you confessed to me that you had a gi-normous crush on Steve, and I said, ‘the more, the merrier, let’s see if Steve wants in’.”
Steve laughed a little. “And I, not being an idiot, said ‘heck yeah!’”
Bucky worried at his bottom lip. “This is after Thanksgiving, right? ‘Cause I take you two mooks to alla my family shit, and we’ve never been… couple-y, or whatever, before.”
Tony hummed in thought. “We can say it was just before Thanksgiving, it was just too new then for us to say anything.”
Steve grinned, and if Bucky thought there was something… off about it, he was thoroughly distracted in the next moment. “So I guess we’re polyamorous, then.”
Bucky smiled weakly. Such a bad idea...“Polyamorous it is.”
~A~A~
Bucky stood fidgeting outside his parents’ front door, his (fake, gotta remember they’re only pretending) boyfriends hanging out behind the shrubbery waiting. (Tony, maniac that he was, had suggested they pull a Gandalf and spring it on the Barneses.)
Bucky’s mom pulled open the door, her eyes gleaming. “Sweetie, you know you never need to knock. So, where is he?” She made a show of looking around.
Bucky regretted letting Tony talk him into any part of this. Oh well, too late now! “Ma, look, I… I gotta come clean. I lied. I don’t have a boyfriend-”
Becca, lurking not-so-subtly in the living room doorway, choked. “Wait, boyfriend? Nobody said anything about a boyfriend!”
Bucky forged on. “-I have two boyfriends. You guys know Steve and Tony.” On cue, the other two stepped out from behind the hedge and came up the stairs.
Steve gave his winningest smile. “Hey, Winnie, you look good. That sweater is a really good color on you.”
Tony held up the box he was holding. “Hello, Mrs B, Becca-Brat. We brought donuts!”
Winnie’s mouth dropped open in shock for a moment, before she rallied. “My goodness. Well, Bucky, dearest, this is- Well. Good for you.” She ushered them in and into the living room and took the donuts from Tony. “However. Your father’s gone out to Queens to pick up his mother, they should be back any minute now, you know she has a weak heart, do not say anything about this whole… two boyfriends situation!”
Bucky’s grandmother spoke up from the front hall, even as she took off her coat. “Now, I know I don’t hear so good anymore, but did I just hear something about someone having two boyfriends?”
Becca grinned evilly. “That would be Bucky, Bubbe. You remember Tony and Steve. Bucky’s apparently dating both of them now. Aren’t you shocked?” Ma glared at Becca, who gleefully ignored her mother.
Bubbe came closer, clasping her chilly hands around Bucky’s cheeks. “Snagged the both of them, eh? Good for you, boychik.” She patted one cheek and smiled.
Bucky’s dad, toeing off his boots in the doorway, just blinked for a moment. “Ma, you’re not shocked? I gotta admit, I’m a little shocked, this is a whole lot of new news about my son.”
Bubbe waved a hand at her son dismissively. “Please, your father and I spent the 60s in San Francisco, I doubt there’s much of anything that will shock me anymore.” She tottered around, dispensing cheek kisses to all and sundry.
Becca cackled. “Good for you, Bubbe! Girl power!” She held up a solidarity fist.
Dad cleared his throat. “And that is way more information than I needed about my parents. So, is the menorah set up? Who’s lighting the candles tonight?” He started to usher everyone into the living room, where the menorah was already set out on the coffee table.
Ma pondered as they all gathered around the table. “Well, I suppose Tony would be the newest member of the family, but Becca is still the youngest… Tony, dear, would you be willing? We’ll all say the prayers together.”
Tony beamed at her. “Newest member of the family, huh? Then I’d be honored.” He squared up in front of the menorah and picked up the shamash. He held it out to Bucky, who flicked on his lighter and lit the candle. Tony regarded the flame for a moment, then held it to the lone candle in the menorah. “Ba...ruch. Attah?” Everyone else, even Steve, joined in on the rest of the prayers as Tony set the shamash back in its proper place.
Ma clapped her hands once. “Beautiful. George, could you set it in the window? I’ve got gifts for the kids.” She disappeared into the hall closet and re-emerged with three small, wrapped parcels. “Sorry, Steve, Tony, I was only expecting one boyfriend-” She faked a glare at Bucky. “-so you’ll have to share these. I hope it’s not an issue.”
Bucky unwrapped a box that contained the now-expected “coffee mug with a gift card inside”. This year’s gift card was to The Steam Store, and Becca’s was, as usual, to Lush, while the mugs were polar bear themed. Steve and Tony worked together to open their box, but when they saw the gift card was to Starbucks, Tony snatched it away and bared his teeth at Steve.
Steve just laughed in his face. “It’s fine, Tones, we all know how you are about coffee. I’m claiming the mug, though. It’s not like it’s big enough for what you need.”
Tony relaxed a bit. “I dunno, we might have to wrestle for it later…”
Becca clapped her hands over her ears. “OK, that’s more detail than I needed. Daaaad...”
George made a shooing motion. “Alright, you kids, go get the ingredients out, let’s get this food started!” Bucky gathered up his sister and his boyfriends and herded them into the kitchen; his grandmother trailed after in apparent curiosity, and started bombarding the guests with questions.
Winnie was lurking in the kitchen doorway, pondering the younger generation, when there was a knock at the front door. She raised her eyebrows at her husband, who shrugged. She shook her head and opened the door. “Oh! Uncle Seymour, what a lovely surprise, please, come in! We were just about to start the latkes, come sit in the dining room.”
Great-Uncle Seymour hobbled in, passing over a bottle of wine. “Hello, Winnie, dear, here, this should go well with those latkes of George’s. Hello, George, Ruth, chag sameach. Now, where are those kids? I have cheeks to pinch.” He bee-lined for the kitchen and its noise. (He hadn’t actually pinched anyone’s cheeks in years, but he still liked to threaten at every opportunity.) “Becca, bubbeleh, I swear you’re taller than the last time I saw you!”
She laughed as she hugged him, then went back to pulling things out of the fridge. “Uncle Seymour, you saw me at Thanksgiving, that was like two weeks ago! Besides, I’m not the interesting one right now, Bucky is.”
Bucky coughed uncomfortably, but sighed and stepped forward. “Hi, Uncle Seymour, um, these are my boyfriends, you remember Tony and Steve…” He gestured to one, then the other, where they lurked supportively behind him.
Great-Uncle Seymour went still with surprise for a long, silent moment, then threw up his hands in jubilation, even doing a little dance. “Two? Two?! Mr ‘dating a different girl every week’ is settling down, and it’s with two? A great miracle happened here, he’s got two boyfriends!”
George sighed from the doorway. “Why is no one else surprised about this? It’s totally out of left field!”
Seymour snorted. “It’s not like he’s the first one in the family. My brother Paul, zichrono livracha, he lived with his boyfriend for almost forty years, and they had plenty of overnight guests, if you know what I mean. Honestly, you young people act like you invented sex.” From the kitchen island, where they were both, worryingly, wielding knives, Ruth and Becca giggled like middle schoolers.
Winifred just poured herself another glass of wine. “Seymour, don’t encourage them. Come, sit, have some wine.”
The kitchen was soon set up for their traditional assembly line: Bucky grating potatoes, Becca mixing everything together, and their dad frying it all up. Bubbe and Uncle Seymour, well used to this arrangement (and loudlystrongly certain that one of the privileges of age was a lack of kitchen duties) took the cheese and crackers plate Bubbe had made and settled into seats at the dining room table.
Tony unbuttoned his cuffs and started rolling up his sleeves. “I can help-”
“NO!” Bucky and Steve both yelped it at once, and Bucky went so far as to push Tony into the middle of the room. “Tony is not allowed near sharp objects.”
Steve nodded seriously. “Or hot surfaces.” He tugged Tony toward the dining room. “Why don’t we go sit and get Bubbe to tell us embarrassing stories about Bucky’s childhood?”
Becca snickered. “As if most of those stories don’t feature you, too, Rogers. Now, go, let us work our magic.”
Bubbe patted the seat next to hers. “Come here, Tony, bubbeleh, let me tell you about the first and only time Steve tried to help cook the latkes.”
“Oh, no, not that one!” Steve hid his face in his free hand, but he sat next to Tony and leaned in to hear the story for the twentieth time.
~A~A~
George had barely finished the prayer over the food and started passing the serving tray around, when there was a knock at the front door. George frowned. “Who on Earth?” He got up and went to open the door. “Oh, hello Debbie, Danny. Come on in.”
Bucky blinked over at the door where, sure enough, his Aunt Debbie (well, his Dad’s cousin, but close enough) and her youngest offspring were shedding their coats and shoes in the front hall. “George, darling, lovely to see you, chag sameach. I hope we’re not intruding? We brought fried chicken…” She held up a paper bag, and a savory aroma wafted over to Bucky, mixing wonderfully with the fried potatoes making their way around the table.
Bucky bounced up and over to them, taking possession of the paper bag, which was still piping hot. “Of course you’re not intruding, you brought fried chicken. Come in, sit down, these are my boyfriends, I’m going to go plate this chicken.” He knew it was cowardly, but at this point it seemed like ripping off a band-aid, just a short, sharp shock and hopefully they could move on.
When he came back with the plated chicken, Debbie was in his seat, interrogating Tony. “And what do you do for a living, Tony?”
Tony blinked at being put on the spot, glancing between her and Bucky. “Um… Well, have you heard of Turkey Tsunami and Tortoise Tornado?”
Debbie threw up her hands. “Oh, those freakin’ games! My oldest is addicted to those- wait, you’re saying you had something to do with those games?” She narrowed her eyes at him.
Tony visibly (at least to Bucky) steeled his spine. “Yeah, they’re pretty much all me. Steve did a lot of the art design, I had some other help here and there, but all the coding and everything, that’s me. You’re welcome?” He attempted a grin and mostly succeeded.
Debbie huffed out a sigh. “Well, you’re about to have a new friend for life. Get Bucky to give you Pearl’s social media stuff, she’s going to go crazy for you.”
Bucky nodded, passing off the plate of chicken (except that one drumstick) and snagging his plate so he could eat standing. “She really will. I wasn’t going to subject you to her, but now I guess I have to.” He made a teasing face at Debbie, and she huffed a laugh back at him.
~A~A~
They were mostly done with dinner when there was yet another knock at the front door. (Bucky was really starting to regret catering to Tony’s delusions of Tolkien.) Bucky sighed and set down his plate. “I’ll get it.” He was… not as surprised as he should be to see it was Cousin Morrie, who wasn’t the closest relative in the bloodline, but he did live only a few blocks away. Bucky stifled another another sigh and ushered him into the dining room. “Morrie, this is Tony, this is Steve, they’re my boyfriends. Please don’t embarrass me too badly.”
Morrie harrumphed and peered through his thick glasses at first Tony, then Steve, but when he spoke, it was to Bucky. “And which one ‘a them goes around punchin’ Nazis? I know I heard about a friend o’ yours goes around gettin’ himself arrested punchin’ Nazis.”
Steve raised one hand almost sheepishly. “That’d be me, sir. Arrested twice, both charges dropped.”
Tony huffed. “I punched a Nazi too! Just ‘cause he was too chickenshit to press charges-”
Bucky sighed. “Yeah, yeah, you’re both heroes, eat your latkes.” He slumped into the nearest empty seat, almost wishing they had something around stronger than wine.
~A~A~
And so it continued, relative after relative “just popping by to say chag sameach” and coincidentally meet Bucky’s two boyfriends! Bucky always forgot just how big his family was, until there was some sort of holiday or event, and they all crammed into a couple of rooms and talked at each other. He retreated to the corner furthest from the highly competitive dreidel game, and tried to take a deep breath.
Tony found him there a few minutes later, peered around the living room, which was full nearly to bursting, then leaned in close to Bucky’s ear and whispered worriedly. “I definitely did not bring enough donuts for this many people. I think we should sneak away before they find out.”
It was enough to make Bucky laugh. “Yeah, sneaking away sounds like a good plan, lemme just find Steve.” He gave Tony a grin that was probably too fond. “I’m just glad you haven’t run away screaming.”
Tony snagged his hand and gave it a squeeze. “You kidding? They’re great!”
They both jumped a little when George whistled through his teeth. “Alright, everyone. It’s been lovely to see you all, but my mother needs her beauty sleep, and I have work in the morning. Time to get your coats!” It took a good few minutes, more than one elbow or knee getting in the way of someone putting on coat or shoes, and a couple of emergency uses of the bathroom, but bit by bit they all trickled out.
Bucky sagged back on the sofa, exhausted, as the last family members were ushered out the door. “That was ridiculous, I haven’t seen some of those people since Becca’s Bat Mitzvah, why did they all come here tonight?”
Becca threw a pillow at him. “Don’t be dramatic, we saw most of them at Passover.”
Bucky nodded sagely. “So, about a week after your Bat Mitzvah, then.” He looked around and noticed his mother looking shifty. “Wait… Ma! Did you call absolutely everyone in the family and tell them about… this, us?” He gestured over at his ‘boyfriends’.
She gasped with fake-seeming outrage. “Bucky, baby, how could you accuse me of-”
Becca snorted. “Yeah, she didn’t have to call everyone, she just had to call Great-Aunt Bessie.”
He pushed himself dramatically to his feet. “And I don’t have to take this kind of treachery, not from my own family! That’s it, I’m leaving, and it’s all your fault, Ma!”
Steve, half asleep and curled in an armchair, raised his head and blinked. “Wha’? We’re leaving? Already?”
Tony, wide-eyed with caffeine intake, patted him on the head. “Yeah, I think you’ve hit your limit. Buck, I’mma get us a Lyft, ok?” Bucky could only nod, with gratitude that someone else was taking care of it, and wander off in search of a donut.
~A~A~
The three of them tumbled through the front door of their apartment, leaning into each other in an effort to stay upright. Somehow they made it to the couch, and all dropped down in a heap. Bucky tried his best not to get too used to it; they were back to ‘just friends’ now that they were home.
Steve squirmed, but didn’t try to go anywhere. “So, um. That went well?” Tony murmured tired agreement, the coffee running out, while Bucky huffed out a laugh. It hadn’t gone badly, per se, but it had been a lot. “All those people, happy for us… They’re, um. Probably going to expect Bucky to bring his boyfriends to all the family stuff from now on, huh?”
Bucky went stone-still as the horror of that thought set in. “Vey iz mir. They really, really are.”
Tony shrugged, jostling the whole mass of bodies. “So? We already go to all his family stuff, what’s gonna change?”
Steve hummed, a sound that generally meant ‘I have a bad idea, but Bucky’s gonna go with it anyway.’ “What if - and hear me out here - what if we tried this thing for real? All three of us, I mean. We already work really well together, right? Like, as a trio? And none of us have been having sex with other people lately, we could try having sex with each other and see if it works?” He squirmed again, and his next words were muffled into the back of the couch. “Unless you’re not interested in me. I understand, I’m not exactly-”
Bucky sat up sharply. “No. None of that. You know I think you’re gorgeous…” He faltered, took a deep breath, and forged onward, because this was either the best or the worst idea Steve had ever had. “Stevie, I’ve wanted to date you for years, I’ve been into Tony since the day we met, you two just weathered the family storm, yes, I am absolutely in on this idea. Tones?”
Tony opened and shut his mouth a couple of times. “You mean my asking-you-out scenario would have worked?! Dammit, I should have done that months ago! Heck yeah, let’s do this!” What followed was possibly history’s most awkward first kiss, three faces mashing together, but it was also perfect, the start of something bright and shining and hopeful.