Work Text:
Day 4
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago relationship disclosure follow-up
Hi Margot,
Thanks again for meeting with Det. Peralta and I on such short notice yesterday. I'm sorry that the meeting lasted so much longer than anticipated, but it feels much better to have everything laid on the table and all the appropriate paperwork filled out. (I know you said it wasn't necessary to do it in triplicate, but better safe than sorry!) Thanks especially for your understanding regarding the Capt. Dozerman situation. Once again, you have my complete assurance that no part of that incident (or anything similar) will be repeated.
Going forward, we'd like to keep everything as above-board as possible. I will make sure to send you daily updates regarding the nature of our relationship within the workplace environment. I'll also CC you on any emails Det. Peralta and I exchange, to ensure maximum transparency. If anything seems questionable or inappropriate, please don't hesitate to let me know.
Thanks again, and Happy Fourth of July!
Best,
A. Santiago
From: Margot Watts ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Peralta/Santiago relationship disclosure follow-up
Hi Amy!
It was great meeting with you yesterday. I really appreciate how open and cooperative you and Det. Peralta were with the whole bureaucratic process; I know it can be a bit of a hassle. If every NYPD employee was like you, my job would be a whole lot easier!
Obviously this situation distinguished itself from the usual relationship disclosure due to the overshadowing tragedy of Capt. Dozerman's death, but now that we've dealt with that on an administrative level, you get to be just like any other NYPD couple moving forward. (Yay! And congratulations!) Just keep in mind the handbook and the specific policies we reviewed yesterday, and you should be all set. Your offer regarding daily updates and cc'd emails is incredibly considerate, and I very much appreciate it, but it's not in any way necessary.
Let me know if you have any further questions!
Warmly,
Margot
Day 5
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (7/5/15)
Hi Margot,
Hope you had a great weekend!
I know you said these updates weren't necessary, but again, I feel that it's better safe than sorry. I'm sure Det. Peralta would agree. (He's currently out on a B&E case.)
This morning, he brought me a coffee, for which I thanked him in an appropriately professional manner (I believe my exact words were "Thanks, Jake."). Several coworkers were within earshot. There was no physical touching, beyond a slight and accidental brush of hands.
Later, he briefly sought my input on a missing persons case he's working. This interaction lasted no longer than five minutes and involved no personal matters of any kind.
Best,
A. Santiago
From: Margot Watts ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (7/5/15)
Amy,
Thanks for the update! Again, I really appreciate how above-board you're being with this. However, as I said before, this type of update is not necessary. The NYPD Code of Conduct is fundamentally based on trust, and I fully trust you and Det. Peralta to behave in an appropriate manner in the workplace going forward.
Margot
Day 7
From: Margot Watts ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (7/6/15)
Hi Amy,
Sounds like you had a busy day yesterday! I'm glad to hear the funeral went smoothly. Thanks for the full report.
Perhaps, going forward, we can compromise by agreeing that you'll send me updates for days you truly have questions/concerns about the appropriateness of the events that transpired (like the Capt. Dozerman situation). Otherwise, you can keep the details of your relationship private, and I will trust that everything is going well.
Take care,
Margot
Day 9
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: [no subject]
Ames,
here's that missing persons file I was telling you about. let me know what you think re: the similarity to that perp Charles brought in last week.
Jake
p.s. sugarbutt
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Missing Persons file
I do really think it looks like it could be the same guy. I'd go ahead with the fingerprints request if I were you.
(Don't forget we're at work/on our work emails, Jake.)
Amy
<3
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: Missing Persons file
Hi Margot,
Was the "<3" okay, or is that inappropriate?
Thanks,
Amy
From: Margot Watts ([email protected])
To: Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Missing Persons file
Amy,
<3 is fine. "Sugarbutt" is frowned upon, I suppose, but unless you'd like to file a sexual harassment charge, it is not grounds for any sort of disciplinary action.
Margot
Day 14
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (7/14/15)
This morning, Jake and I arrived at the precinct together. Det. Boyle immediately noticed that Jake was wearing the same clothes as yesterday and proceeded to comment. Det. Diaz joined in, and together they teased both Jake and myself for approximately two minutes. We both refused to answer their questions in any detail, although I also didn't attempt to do any work until they had finished. Many sexual innuendos were made, but nothing graphic was discussed.
Amy
Day 20
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (7/20/15)
Det. Peralta brought me coffee again this morning. I responded, "Thanks, Jake. You're the best." I didn't mean to imply that he was in any way superior to any other detective or commanding officer in either rank or priority.
Nothing else to report.
Day 32
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: Charles' birthday
Terry put me on cake duty for Charles' upcoming birthday. Do you have any ideas for a flavor he'll like but that won't make the rest of the squad barf? I was thinking maybe red velvet?
xo
Amy
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Charles' birthday
Boyle HATES red velvet, says it's the "Olive Garden of cakes," whatever that means. (who doesn't love Olive Garden?? they got mad breadsticks yo) the only kind I can think of that's at the right intersection of weird/edible is carrot cake
xoxo
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: Charles' birthday
Are you sure? I know you hate carrot cake. (Which I don't get. My mom has the most amazing carrot cake recipe in the world, I keep meaning to ask her for it.)
xoxoxoxo
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Charles' birthday
I do not HATE carrot cake, it's just my least favorite. I don't hate any kind of cake. that would be sacrilege. it's just that carrot cake is the worst because it tries to be all sneaky about being basically a VEGETABLE in CAKE FORM. that's why I trick the cake BACK by sprinkling every bite with sugar. BOOM. HOW YA LIKE ME NOW
maybe don't ask your mom for the recipe. just let her make you the cake. or let literally anyone who is not you make it.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: Charles' birthday
Harsh, Peralta. You didn't seem to think my cooking was so bad the other day.
(I ordered a carrot cake. Please do not spike it with added sugar when it arrives in the break room. We would all be annoyed if you died of a sugar overdose-induced heart attack.)
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Charles' birthday
what, the pancakes you made? they were edible. ish. definitely an improvement in your culinary game (esp. compared to the Night of Which We Do Not Speak), but that's kind of like saying dirt tastes better than poop. (teasing tongue-stuck-out emoji to soften the blow. why doesn't the nypd email support emojis??? what is Gina even DOING in PR??) also, I was kind of distracted by OTHER THINGS to complain at the time. if you know what I mean. (you do, you were there) (eyebrow waggling emoji)
for the record, after work I expect to be paid in full all the x's and o's you've been promising in these emails
x
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Charles' birthday
Fine. Will pay up tonight. But you have to make me pancakes in the morning.
From: Margot Watts ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: Charles' birthday
Detective Santiago, I do not need to be privy to this conversation.
Please stop.
Day 38
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (8/7/15)
Det. Peralta and I were both in the evidence locker today from 10:30-12, working two separate cases. As you can see from the surveillance footage I've attached, this time around we didn't engage in any inappropriate behavior. (You can see us talking a lot, but much of that chatter was work-related.) He does touch my waist as we exit the room, but that was chiefly because he was walking faster than I was and almost ran into me. You can see us start to sprint from the room (and, if you were to watch surveillance tapes from the bullpen, continue to sprint out of the precinct), but that was for personal reasons as our lunch break had started. Nobody was injured.
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: FWD: Peralta/Santiago daily update (8/7/15)
Hi Amy!
Exciting news: Margot had her baby last night!
Since she's out on maternity leave, I'll be taking over as your point person in HR. Luckily she was able to brief me regarding your situation before she left, so I should be all caught up. Just go ahead and send your daily updates/BCC'd emails my way, and let me know if you have any questions!
See you at the interdepartmental bbq!
Jim
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: FWD: Peralta/Santiago daily update (8/7/15)
Hi Jim,
That is great news! Do you happen to have Margot's home address? I'd love to send her a congratulatory card.
And thank you for taking over! Margot was always kindly insistent that this whole procedure wasn't required by HR, but it makes me feel better to have a digital record of this stuff in case there are any issues down the line. We're just trying to be as open and transparent as possible! Of course, you don't have to read the emails if you don't want to, but I appreciate you keeping them on file.
Best,
Amy
Day 41
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (8/10/15)
Jake kissed me on the forehead while handing me my coffee this morning. This was in the bullpen. If it helps at all, he sometimes kissed Gina Linetti on the forehead back when she worked here, and they're just good friends. Also, Det. Boyle has kissed Jake on the forehead on numerous occasions, so overall I think there is precedent.
Let me know if you need more detail.
Day 50
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: Daily update?
Hi Amy,
Haven't received your daily update yet—is everything okay? No rush either way, just thought I'd check in.
Jim
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (8/19/15)
Jim,
I'm so sorry, I can't believe I forgot! I volunteered to lead three gun safety class sessions today, and I was so exhausted when I finally got home that I pretty much just fell into bed.
I can't think of much to report today. Jake did bring me lunch in the precinct, but that was on our break time. My brain is so fried I might be forgetting something—I can wake Jake up and ask if he remembers anything else, if you want.
Amy
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (8/19/15)
No worries, I trust you! Thanks for the update & try to get some rest.
Best,
Jim
Day 66
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (9/4/15)
Today Capt. Pembroke called me into his office to ask me to go undercover as a prostitute for a case. (Actually, I believe Det. Diaz was his first choice, but he didn't get very far with her.) Det. Peralta must have accidentally overheard, because he entered the Captain's office uninvited and insisted that he be given the case instead. While this could be mere professional consideration, I think he was probably acting from personal motivations regarding our relationship.
Luckily, Capt. Pembroke revealed that the case didn't really exist and the whole thing had been a joke.
Amy
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (9/4/15)
Noted.
(If you need to file a complaint against Capt. Pembroke, please let me know.)
Jim
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (9/4/15)
Nope, we're fine! All good here, absolutely fine. How are you?
Day 79
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: [no subject]
I hate the vulture.
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: [no subject]
Jake...are you sure this is the best venue for venting?
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: [no subject]
I'm using my work email because this is a work-related matter. I am talking about my work boss. who I hate. at work.
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: [no subject]
I'm sorry he took that missing torso case away from you. I know how excited you were to find it.
x
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: [no subject]
whatever. I don't even care anymore.
when does your shift end? literally the only thing I want right now is to get you in bed.
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: [no subject]
7.
I'll meet you outside.
Day 80
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: signed doc
Hey Jim,
Here's that thing you needed me to sign. Sorry it took so long, things've been kinda busy around here.
Jake
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
Subject: RE: signed doc
Not a problem. We're all set!
(And seriously. Good for you, dude.)
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: signed doc
Thanks? Wait, is this what that high five was about, me getting the doc signed?
Gina always said my signature looks like crap. This sure shows her!
Day 89
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (9/27/15)
Today Capt. Pembroke took the squad to Shaw's Bar to celebrate a bet he had won with the Captain of the 93rd. I asked whether this was a mandatory work event, and he said that it was. Therefore I've attached photos taken at the event, so you can see that Jake and I made no more physical contact than your average coworkers might in a professional setting.
Amy
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (9/27/15)
Hi Amy,
Are you sure you attached the right pictures? The ones I'm looking at were taken inside Shaw's Bar, but they don't show what you described. (Unless you have totally different standards for physical contact with your average coworkers than I do...if so, we may need to have a meeting! (Just teasing, of course! :)))
Jim
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (9/27/15)
Oh, oops!! Sorry about that! You're right, those photos were from Det. Boyle's birthday party last month. (For the record, that was NOT held during work hours.)
Here are today's pictures. Sorry again about the mix-up.
Day 94
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (10/2/15)
Hi Jim,
As you may have already heard, Det. Peralta was suspended this morning. While I will be seeing him in my personal time, I will not discuss any of my ongoing cases with him, nor give him access to any evidence or police records, as per the Code of Conduct. (I'll also try to keep him off NYPD premises, but I don't know that I'll be any more successful than I was the last time he was suspended, before we started dating.)
Unless something unexpected occurs, I obviously won't have any updates to send you during his suspension. Have a good ten days!
Thanks,
Amy
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (10/2/15)
I reread my last email and realized it seemed like I was implying that Det. Peralta gets suspended all the time. I just want to clarify that I think Jake's an excellent detective, and that most of his suspensions have been for circumstances beyond his control.
Thanks!
Amy
Day 103
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Clarification
Hi Jim!
Hope all's going well. It's the second-to-last day of Jake's suspension, so we'll be back on track with the daily updates the day after tomorrow. :)
I just want to clarify what happened this morning, when we saw each other outside. Yes, Jake was dropping me off, but as you saw, he never got out of the car, so technically he didn't violate his suspension. NYPD property extends to the sidewalk but not the street, as I'm sure you'll know; therefore, our actions within the car did not take place on NYPD premises. Unfortunately, they did take place during work hours. By the time I got out of the car and up to the bullpen, it was 9:03. There's really no excuse for this, and I take full responsibility for my actions. I want to assure you that it will not happen again. (I tried to catch up to you and explain, but you were too far ahead of me at the time.)
Let me know if there's anymore paperwork I have to fill out due to this morning's events.
Thanks very much,
Amy
Day 111
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (10/19/15)
Hi Jim!
I just wanted to let you know that Capt. Holt has already been fully apprised of my relationship with Det. Peralta (and actually has been for some time, several weeks before his return). If you need me to come down and update some forms, I'd be happy to do so!
Best,
Amy
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (10/19/15)
I know I already sent you an update for today, but I have to update that update. About fifteen minutes ago, I kissed Jake in the break room. The kiss lasted approximately five seconds, ten at most. Given that we're entitled to two ten-minute breaks a day, I think we were well in line with regulations, but just in case, I'm letting you know.
I asked a few coworkers who were in the break room or nearby at that time to assign the kiss an MPAA rating, if they felt comfortable doing so, in order to provide you with some impartial sources on this event. The results:
Det. Boyle: "A+" (This was not the rating scale I asked him to use, but it was the only answer he gave.)
Gina Linetti: "It was disgusting. I personally would give it a G, which probably makes it a Santiago hard R or even NC-17. I guess that translates to PG for normal people."
Det. Diaz refused to comment, and Dets. Hitchcock and Scully I chose not to ask.
I take full responsibility for any discomfort the kiss may have caused any coworker or passerby. If someone files a complaint, please let me know, even if you can't tell me who it is. I will happily take a refresher course on sexual misconduct in the workplace (although I would hope it wouldn't go on my permanent record).
Thanks as always,
Amy
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: [no subject]
I don't know why I heard you forcing our coworkers to rate our kiss in the break room earlier, but for the record I give it five stars. ten stars. twenty billion stars. (minus one. gotta leave something to work for/to describe kisses not witnessed by Scully, Hitchcock, and Hitchcock's half-eaten sandwich)
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: FWD: [no subject]
FYI:
I don't know why I heard you forcing our coworkers to rate our kiss in the break room earlier, but for the record I give it five stars. ten stars. twenty billion stars. (minus one. gotta leave something to work for/to describe kisses not witnessed by Scully, Hitchcock, and Hitchcock's half-eaten sandwich)
Day 115
From: Margot Watts ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Santiago & Peralta
Hey Jim,
I'm sure Bob has already told you that I'll be back in the office this coming Monday. I'm trying to get all caught up before I come in.
It is with some measure of dread that I ask for the latest developments in the Det. Santiago/Det. Peralta affair. You're a star for taking this one over, Jim. I can only hope you managed to succeed where I failed in getting Det. Santiago to be a little less "above-board" with the whole thing.
Thanks,
Margot
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Margot Watts ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Santiago & Peralta
Margot! So glad to hear you're coming back. That kid really did a number on you, huh? Was so happy to hear from Bob that you and the baby are doing well. You'll have to bring her in sometime!
As for Santiago and Peralta, don't worry about it. I'm more than happy to continue taking this one on if it'll help reduce your workload (which I'm sure will be a heavy one!). I actually don't mind the updates. (The BCC'd emails are another matter, mostly because a majority of the time they're emailing about a case and it's really boring and/or gruesome.) It's all a bit goofy, of course, but that's what makes it fun—I've started to realize that I'm really rooting for these kids! Ha!
Full disclosure—Det. Santiago actually used to be my office crush. That is, I only knew her as "cute elevator girl," and a tiny part of me always thought we'd end up like one of those Tom Hanks/Meg Ryan movies. I didn't actually realize Det. Santiago was cute elevator girl until a week or two after I took over for you, and I was pretty bemused by the whole thing. But I've made my peace with it. I just hope they BCC me on the wedding invite.
Jim
From: Margot Watts ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: Santiago & Peralta
Better you than me. (For your sake, and the sake of this whole department, I hope to God they never break up.)
See you Monday,
Margot
Day 124
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (10/31/15)
Hi Jim,
Sorry that this is coming in this morning instead of last night; the whole thing took a lot longer to write up than I anticipated. (Today's daily update, which I'll send at the usual time, will hopefully be much shorter!)
Last night was Halloween, of course, and things got pretty crazy at the precinct! I wrote the whole thing up in a separate Word doc that I'm attaching here. I cross-referenced with the Code a few times while writing it, and I think everything is kosher, but of course that's up to you to decide. Let me know if you need further clarification!
Amy
P.S. Happy belated Halloween! I saw the pictures you posted on FB of you with your brother's kids—so cute!
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (10/31/15)
Jim,
Actually, it just occurred to me that the entire squad had yesterday off. Since nothing that happened was work-related, there was actually no need for me to send you a report at all. Sorry for the mix-up! Hopefully I didn't waste too much of your time.
Best,
Amy
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: Peralta/Santiago daily update (10/31/15)
Hi Amy,
No worries. I was only on page eight of your report when I got your follow-up email, so not too much time wasted at all! Sounds like you guys had a lot of fun.
Warmly,
Jim
Day 136
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: terry
hey, did you finish the window breaking paperwork you stole from me yet?
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: terry
Yes. Attached.
You owe me one.
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: terry
you're the best, sweetheart
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: terry
"Sweetheart?" Is this what we're going with?
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: terry
darling?
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: terry
cupcake?
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: terry
angelface?
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: terry
cutie patootie?
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: terry
muffinbutter? toastybun? nerfherder?
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: terry
no, wait, SUGARBUTT. that was it
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: terry
Go back to work.
(Pineapples.)
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: terry
Hi Jim,
Just to clarify what Jake said about the paperwork...
I know it's technically against the rules for one cop to fill out another's paperwork. Even so, it happens all the time. I don't mean to be one of those people whose excuse for wrongdoing is to say, "But everyone else does it too!", by any means. (I've actually given out more jaywalking tickets than several of the 99's beat cops.) I just want to point out that cops often do this for one another as a favor, or for convenience, and that I am very communicative with my commanding officers so that nothing is being done in secret. It's all condoned.
Usually when I do complete another officer's paperwork, it's actually in service of what I think is a more important policy: that paperwork be done efficiently and correctly. All I want is for everything to be done right. I hope this clears things up. (It feels good to get it off my chest!)
If you do think I'm showing bias towards Det. Peralta in this case, I can file some paperwork on behalf of the other detectives to even things out a bit.
Amy
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: terry
Amy,
As far as I can tell, you've done nothing wrong. No need to worry further or make anything up. Have a great weekend!
Best,
Jim
Day 141
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: case 76ACX-65VY
I agree with Terry, you should forward this one on to Vice. But make sure to tell them the thing about the vic's mother, that does seem important.
(Do you wanna grab lunch somewhere? I've been staring at spreadsheets for hours and I really need some fresh air.)
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: case 76ACX-65VY
fine. but the next time I do a bunch of cocaine, I'm gonna arrest MYSELF.
let's go to that Vietnamese place with the egg rolls you hated & the bahn mi you loved. and this time you can order your own instead of stealing bites from mine.
you're paying
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: case 76ACX-65VY
Fine, but if I'm not allowed to steal any of your food, you can't lick my ice cream after.
And how about we each get a cup of the extra-spicy bun bo hue and race to see who can finish first. Loser has to pay.
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: case 76ACX-65VY
AMY SANTIAGO, WAS THAT A SEXUAL EUPHEMISM????????????? I EXPECTED BETTER FROM YOU. HAVE SOME CLASS, AMY, MY GOD.
either way, unfair. I deserve all the licks.
and you are ON.
let's leave before Charles comes back, or he'll want to come with
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: case 76ACX-65VY
Give me a minute. Just gotta write a quick email, then I'm all yours.
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: RE: case 76ACX-65VY
Jake does not actually do cocaine. Obviously. I just wanted to make that super clear.
Also, today's update: I'm probably going to hold Jake's hand as we leave for lunch. He's also likely to make a joke about me being "all his," which could either go in a romantic or sexual direction, depending on his mood.
Amy
P.S. I heard about your big raise—congrats! Very well earned. :)
Day 145
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (11/15/15)
Hey Jim!
Big news today—Capt. Holt cleared Jake & I to work on the drug case I mentioned earlier (see the updates of 10/28 and 11/13). As you well know, this'll be the first time we go out in the field together since we started dating. Don't worry, though: by this point we are total pros at keeping things work-apro. (Just a little fun wordplay! ;))
We're about to head out, so I'll either send you a follow-up update later tonight or add it to tomorrow's update!
Have a good one,
Amy
Day 146
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: Peralta/Santiago daily update (11/15/15 con't & 11/16/15)
Jim,
This turned out to be another long update, so I'm attaching it as a word doc.
I know the workday's not yet over, but I don't plan on having any further interaction with Det. Peralta for the rest of the day.
Thanks,
Amy
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: [no subject]
Hey Jim,
So I just found out yesterday that Amy's been giving you hourly updates on our relationship or whatever. (She says she told me earlier, but either I wasn't paying attention or she's trying to gaslight me. Either seems possible.)
First of all, I just want to apologize for the emails I sent on 10/22. Probably should've sent those from my personal address. Sorry.
Second, she asked me to write you an "addendum" (I had to google that word like three times to figure out how to spell it, so to make it worth the effort I'm going to use it as frequently as possible from now on) to today's update, since she's currently on the phone with her mom and it looks like she will be for the next forever, approximately.
She fwd'd me the last two updates to read so I'd know what I was addenduming onto. Obviously I did not read them. But based on the time she sent you the most recent one, I can guess what it said.
So addendum: we made up, we caught the bad guy, all is good in the neighborhood. (I would say "great," but that doesn't rhyme.) I think that sums this addendum up.
Jake
p.s. addendum
From: James Zaleski ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
Subject: RE: [no subject]
Oh, thank god.
Day 147
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
Subject: [no subject]
HR Jim literally stopped me in the hallway today and gave me a gigantic hug. this is getting out of hand.
(don't you dare BCC him on this)
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: [no subject]
Sorry, Jake. Rules are rules.
xoxo
From: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
To: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: [no subject]
You are so consistent.
(heart eyes emoji)
From: Det. Amy Santiago ([email protected])
To: Det. Jake Peralta ([email protected])
BCC: James Zaleski ([email protected])
Subject: RE: RE: RE: [no subject]
♥