Chapter Text
"I don’t want to break up with you!“
"Ssh!“ Craig put his hand over Tweek’s mouth and looked around, making sure nobody heard him. "Tell the world, will you?“ He brought his hand down and Tweek looked at him with his eyes wide open.
"B-but Craig, I don’t want to break u-up with you!“, he repeated.
"You owe me.“
Tweek seemed to be confused and Craig sighed. "Remember the last time we broke up? You made me the biggest asshole and everyone hated me because you invented some guy called 'Michael‘.“ That had been years ago and now they were both seventeen and still dating ever since.
If you could call it dating. Sure, to the outside world, everybody thought they were madly in love since they were in elementary school and even though South Park wasn’t that obsessed with them anymore, they could still hear the people talking behind their backs about how cute they were.
"O-oh, yeah. I’m sorry 'bout that.“
"So, now you’re the one who breaks up with me and don’t make me look stupid again,“ Craig said.
"But w-why? Why do you want to- argh- break up?“
Craig sighed. Has Tweek never thought about breaking up? "I’m seventeen, man and I still haven’t kissed anybody! Have you seen Kenny?“
Tweek nodded. Everyone knew about Kenny’s reputation and how popular he was with the girls- and guys. Craig on the other hand hasn’t had the chance to explore any of his sexual fantasies since he had always been dating Tweek since he first got them.
No girl would want to fuck a guy who’s been dating another guy since elementary school.
"Yeah, me too,“ Tweek said.
"I know. So now we’ll break up and date other people. I think South Park is over us and won’t be as miserable like the first time.“ The reason they haven’t broken up earlier was because they were afraid the whole town would go into that huge depression again. Craig couldn’t deal with that and the risk was too high.
"W-why do I have to break up with you? We c-could just tell them that we did and n-not tell them how.“
Craig put his hand on Tweek’s shoulder. "They won’t be convinced. What if the girl I want to date thinks I still love you? We’ve been dating for like over seven years! It has to be good and convincing.“
Tweek gulped and nodded. "O-okay.“
Craig didn’t smile, but his lips quirked up a little bit. "Tomorrow then at the cafeteria?“
"Craig?“
"Yeah?“
"W-will… we still be friends?“
Craig hasn’t thought about that. He didn’t want to lose Tweek. He was a great fake boyfriend, they got along well, were good friends, in the same clique and had the same taste in video games.
"Yeah, but it’ll be awkward, I guess. Maybe we shouldn’t hang out together anymore for a while.“
"Oh.“ Tweek seemed to be not pleased to hear that. He looked down to his green button up shirt which he learned to correctly button in eighth grade and bit down on his lower lip.
"But for like only a month.“ Craig shrugged. „No big deal.“
"But we’re sitting together!“, Tweek said. "Who-who will I hang out with? Token and Clyde a-are also my friends!“
"We could split them,“ Craig suggested. "I’ll take Token. Clyde will probably cry when he hears about our break up. What a fucking loser. Or you could hang out with Stan and his guys, I don’t care. Didn’t you hang out with them anyways, back then when Kenny was dead?“
Tweek nodded slowly. "Yeah, I-I guess.“
Was Tweek not stoked by Craig’s idea? He must have thought about this plenty of times too! How he wanted to really date someone for once. Well, Craig didn’t necessary wanted to date someone, but he wanted to know what it was like. He also didn’t want to stay a virgin for the rest of his life. Tweek must think so too.
"See you tomorrow then.“ If they wouldn’t be alone, Craig would’ve kissed Tweek’s cheek or the other way round, but they were, so he didn't care and just walked away.
"Hi, Craig!“, Tweek said when he walked over to them at the table in the cafeteria and sat down. Craig already sat with Token and Clyde and looked up to him. Was that a smile? Tweek couldn’t smile when he was about to break up with him. Craig kicked his leg under the table.
"Ouch! What was that for?“, Clyde asked.
"I have no idea what you’re talking about,“ Craig said innocently.
"You kicked me under the table! That hurt!“
Craig just showed him his middle finger and looked over to Tweek. "Tweek? You wanna tell me something?“
"I- uh- y-yeah…“ He stared at the cup of coffee that he held in his hands. Even after seven years of dating Tweek Tweak, Craig hasn’t found his love for coffee and probably never will. He was more of an energy drink kind of guy if he needed to stay awake.
Craig looked at him and noticed that Tweek’s shirt wasn’t buttoned right. It had been years since he saw him dressed like that last. He felt the need to button it for Tweek, which he had done back in middle school because he didn’t want to have a boyfriend who couldn’t fucking button his shirt right.
But now they were about to break up and he shouldn’t do this.
"I think we have to talk,“ Tweek said loud enough for some people turn their heads around.
"Talk? About what?“
"Maybe-"
"I can’t believe this!“, a female voice shouted across the whole cafeteria and soon nobody spent any attention to Craig and Tweek’s attempt of breaking up. Everyone was looking over to Stan and Wendy at their table.
"Wendy, I-"
"Shut up, Stan, I don’t want to hear your excuses anymore!“
"You never listen to them!"
"I do, I have so many times and I’m sick of them! I don’t want to be together with somebody who lies to me or who doesn’t even wants to be together with me. I deserve better than that!“ Wendy seemed furious, both her arms crossed.
"Of course, you deserve better than that,“ Stan said. "But I’m- I… I didn’t really lie to you.“
"Yes, Stan, you did. You constantly lie to be just to hang out with Kyle!“ She pointed at Stan’s best friend who still sat next to Stan, quietly eating his food and not participating in their fight. "If you prefer spending time with him over me, your girlfriend, then just tell me!“
"No, because I know you’d freak out like this!“
"Of course! I’m your girlfriend! If you love Kyle so much, why don’t you just date him?!“ Stan didn’t know what to say, his mouth wide open but no tone came out of it.
"Wendy, come on, please-," he said after a while.
"It’s over, Stan. I wish it wouldn’t end like this, but I can’t change that now. And this time it’s really over, for good.“ Wendy stormed off, followed by her friends and Stan looked desperately to his friends.
Fucking Stan and Wendy, stealing their show. Craig looked back to Tweek and when Tweek stared at him, he silently just shook his head. Today was not a good day to break up, not after Stan and Wendy just made such a big drama out of their break up.
"Tomorrow is also a day,“ Craig said and Tweek nodded.
"Wow, that was intense,“ Token whispered and the others agreed.
"Too dramatic,“ Craig said and hoped Tweek got the notice that he didn’t want their break up to be that dramatic. But he knew Tweek, he was a great actor. Tweek joined the drama club in seventh grade after Craig had to convince him for a while. When Tweek acted, he didn’t twitch anymore and really got into the role.
It was those times that Craig had been proud to call Tweek his boyfriend. He didn’t even mind having to buy him flowers to give them to him after the play.
"What did you want to tell Craig?“, Clyde asked curiously.
"I- uh, argh- I… just wanted to ask if you want to c-come over today, Craig.“
Craig nodded. "Sure.“
Craig waited for Tweek after school at the entrance. Tweek had drama club today and Craig didn’t have anything to do while waiting for him, so he had joined Kenny and the others to smoke.
Tweek had once told him he didn’t like it when Craig smoked to which Craig had said he wouldn’t kiss him anyways, so why did he care.
"Hey.“ Tweek walked up to them. On his face was dirt and Craig instinctively brought his arm up to brush it off Tweek’s cheek. "You had something on your face,“ Craig explained when Tweek looked at him confused. Did he just blush? Craig couldn’t tell.
"Y-yeah, we tried the make up today. That was probably some of the stuff I didn’t get off.“
"Make up? God, that’s so gay!“, Cartman shouted.
"Are you being a homophobe?“, Kenny asked.
"What? No, I would never be homophobic to actual gays! Ah, yeah I forgot you two like it up the butt.“ Cartman grinned and Craig just flipped him off with his middlefinger and grabbed Tweek’s hand.
„Come on, let’s go.“ He threw his cigarette on the ground and stomped it off before leaving the school’s ground. Walking home with Tweek hand in hand wasn’t something special at all anymore. After seven years of doing so, he had gotten used to it and it wasn’t that bad anymore. In the beginning he had still thought it was stupid, but now it was just part of his daily routine.
"That Stan and Wendy break up had such a bad timing,“ Craig said.
"Y-yeah, that sucks. I’m sorry.“
"It’s not your fault Stan prefers sucking Kyles dick.“
Tweek stared at him. "So you think i-it’s true?“
"I don’t know, I don’t care.“ Craig shrugged. Why should he be concerned about who Stan wanted to date? If it was Kyle, then go on. Maybe then he and Craig weren’t the only gay couple in school anymore. Sure, Kenny came out as pansexual some time ago, but he didn’t date anyone.
"Tomorrow,“ Tweek said.
"Tomorrow,“ Craig repeated and stopped walking.
"C-craig? What’s up?“
Since they weren’t going to break up today he could do this now. "Your shirt,“ he explained. "It’s been bugging me the whole day. But we were going to break up so I couldn’t do it.“
He buttoned Tweek’s shirt again and Tweek didn’t even twitch which he was glad for. He used to twitch back then when Craig did this which was horribly annoying. Maybe that was the reason why Tweek never bothered back then because it was much more difficult when you twitch all the time.
"T-thanks.“
"No problem.“ Craig stepped back and looked at Tweek.
"I was just s-so nervous this m-morning because we wanted to break up,“ Tweek confessed.
Oh, so that had been the reason. "It’s okay.“