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The waves were clashing above his head. Rin seized up to gasp for air, breathing in sharply before losing orientation again. He felt the panic rise every time a new wave hit him. This was how his father had died – he didn't want to go the same way. He took another desperate plunge for air, but got a mouth full of salty water instead. This time, his panic took over: Rin couldn't find the surface any more.
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After all the hard work of the previous years, Goro Sasabe was the proud owner of 'Umi no hime', the 'Princess of the Sea'. She was a 28 foot beauty of a sailboat, not new, but well kept, meeting all of Goro’s needs. There was a small cabin beneath the cockpit with a comfortable double bed (not much space for anything else, tough). The bed in the front cabin had been removed by the previous owner, and replaced by a storage room which suited Goro well. In between was a small but comfortable saloon with a table and a bench, a tiny kitchen corner and an equally tiny bathroom. What he loved the most however, was the small but convenient swim platform on the rear end of the boat, allowing him to dive into the ocean whenever he felt like it.
Lately, the swimming club had done really well. Part of it was due to Rin and Haru, who had qualified for the National Swimming Team. In their first shared interview, right after the qualifiers, they had told the TV-team how they swam together in Elementary School under his supervision. He had shed some tears at their words, still remembering them as scrawny 12 year old kids as if it was yesterday. Then, business man that he was, he made sure to hang more pictures of them in the entrance hall. After their successes at the world championship and their shared swim-wear ads, the pair of them had become some kind of national heroes, and people had begun to take the trouble to travel to Iwatobi, just to swim at the club where their idols had started their career. A crazy thing to do, but Goro wouldn't complain about the public attention and the extra income.
When the boys had a week off after the trials for the Olympics (which they passed flawlessly), Goro felt it was time to thank Rin and Haru for their support. He knew the boys were going to spend a few days in Iwatobi to enjoy some private time with their friends before leaving for the upcoming training camps. Thus, he did the most obvious thing he could think of: he invited the whole Iwatobi gang on a sailing trip to a nearby island. It would take around 2 hours of sailing to get there, and he knew a secluded bay where they could most probably swim undisturbed for the whole day.
The five boys were more than happy to come along. Only Rei was a bit anxious because he always got sea-sick on a boat. But the prospect of spending the day with his old team plus Rin was rewarding enough to endure the sailing itself, he deemed. The weather forecast was perfect: a steady wind from south directions which should serve just fine for sailing there and back again, as the island lay east of Iwatobi. The waves shouldn't be too strong, so hopefully, even Rei wouldn't have to struggle too much.
They headed off quite early that day, on the one hand to have more time for swimming, on the other hand to escape the public eye as quickly as possible. Being famous had its backlashes, and while Rin took the public attention quite lightly, Haru despised the constant selfie and autograph sessions with their fans. A day far away from civilization was exactly what he needed.
The 'Princess' was of comfortable size for Goro (and he hoped to bring a lovely lady along one day). But for six grown men it was a tight fit . Luckily, Rei insisted on spending the ride under deck, with his eyes closed and his mind as far away as possible. Makoto regularly checked on him, but there was nothing he could do to help him besides keeping the chattering and over-excited Nagisa out of the way.
Goro stood behind the steering wheel, so the remaining four boys could sit on the benches in the cockpit, chatting amicably and simply enjoying each other's company. Haru and Nagisa had both sailed before, and they happily helped Goro to set the sails. Makoto was content staying in the cockpit while Rin was eager to learn any new skills and let Haru show him every movement he made. “Want to try steering, Rin?” Goro was in a really generous mood. “If he steers the boat like he steers a car, I wouldn't let him, Goro-san.” - “Oi, shut up. I'm better at driving than you.” Goro chuckled. Some things never changed. He showed Rin how to stay on course and enjoyed the amicable and slightly competitive bickering of the two Olympic swimmers.
By 10 AM they had already dropped the anchor, and all six of them plunged into the water. A cry of “Race you, Haru!” later, Rin and Haru had to race each other around the boat at an incredible speed until the rest of the group got bored. “Let's do relays!” They all raced in relays by three with mixing teams then. “Not fair, I never get to swim with Haru!” Rin complained at some point. So they agreed that Rin and Haru would be one team, the other four the second team, and Rin and Haru each had to swim twice. They still easily won. “Not fair,” Nagisa complained, but his eyes were sparkling.
Eventually, they all got hungry. Goro had prepared a big selection of food for them all beforehand which he laid out in various containers and some plates across a small folding table in the cockpit. It was quite a selection of different foods. “Oh, look, there's melon-pan, too!” - “Grilled mackerel! Thank you, Goro-san! And pineapple!” Soon, the only noise to be heard was a happy munching and smacking of the lips. When they were full, they scattered all around the ship, getting a nap. Even Nagisa needed some rest. He was the first to hop around about an hour later, pestering everyone to get up. Soon, the five boys ended up in the water again, squealing and fooling around in the quiet solitude of the bay.
Goro, however, watched the sky worriedly. Contrary to the weather forecast, he could see dark clouds forming at the horizon. He started to get the 'Princess' ready for leaving and with a sigh, he called the boys on deck again (a quite challenging task, though).
“I'm sorry, guys, I know we wanted to stay a little longer.” Goro looked uncomfortable. “I fear some bad weather is approaching, and I don't want to be caught by a storm. The 'Princess' isn't equipped for so many people.” With no further explanation he went under deck, rummaging around. They all scrambled on board, stowing away their goggles and towels. A first rolling thunder could be heard from far away, and both Makoto and Rin looked up at the sky. Haru watched his friends worriedly.
“I have only got four life vests, so two of you have to stay under deck if the weather gets bad. Any volunteers besides Rei?” - “I don't need a life vest.” Rin's comment was cut short. “Don't be stupid, Rin!” Haru hissed the same time as Goro explained firmly: “I am your captain here, and I have the responsibility. Anyone who doesn't wear a life vest when I tell them has to stay below deck. You know perfectly well that all your swimming skills won't save you in the open water, especially not during a storm.” Rin paled. There was an uncomfortable silence. “I will stay downstairs with Rei.” Makoto decided. “Thank you!” Goro nodded at him. “Unfortunately, I have only one lifeline, and I will use it for myself. None of you is able to get the ship to the harbor, so it's my duty not to get lost.”
Goro spent another 15 minutes instructing them how to behave during heavy weather, then they finally loosed the anchor and set the sails. The wind was still steadily blowing from the south, and the 'Princess' was rushing forwards with consistent four knots. They could hear the rolling thunder every now and then, but the rocking of the boat was steady and reassuring. That was, until the sky got darker every minute, and the lightning flashed more and more often. After a particularly loud roll of thunder, Makoto shortly locked his eyes with Haru. They nodded silently at each other, and he went downstairs to join Rei.
Suddenly, a strong wind gust thrashed the sails around, and the boat wobbled violently. “Haru, Nagisa, strike the sails!” Goro yelled, while getting the motor ready. Both of the boys jumped up and got to work immediately. “Rin, get the life vests, and put one on yourself too!” Rin did as told and hurried downstairs, coming back upstairs a little later wearing a bright orange life vest and carrying three more of them. He was horribly pale by now. Although he tried to play it off, his whole body language betrayed his rising tension. Haru sat down beside him, and reassuringly laid his hand on Rin's thigh. “Are you okay?” - “Yeah, all right.” Haru could very well see through the lie, leaving his hand right where it was.
At that moment, Rin was living through his personal nightmare. Ever since his father's death, he had been afraid of thunderstorms. He had dreamed about rolling thunder and thrashing waves, about a sinking boat and about drowning in too many stormy nights. Haru's hand on his leg was his anchor right now, holding him together. He closed his eyes, focusing on Haru's grip while trying to ignore how intimate the touch actually was. On top of his mental struggles, he felt his stomach revolting more and more, as the waves became bigger and more erratic with every passing minute.
A crash from downstairs had Haru jump up. “I'll be right back,” he reassured Rin, then dashed downstairs to check on Rei and Makoto. Rei was in the bathroom, throwing up, and Makoto had crashed into the door when he tried to help him there. Haru took over, got Makoto back on the bench and brought Rei a sip of water, helping him back on the bench as well. He wondered about his own stomach which was surprisingly unimpressed by both the heavy rocking and the smell from the bathroom. He cleaned up after Rei as best as possible before heading up again.
As soon as Haru had left, Rin's nausea was getting really bad. At least the seasickness helped him to keep his thoughts off of his father's death. He opened his eyes, trying to get some help from either Goro or Nagisa. Goro was really busy steering the boat through the heavy waves. “You okay, Rin?” Nagisa picked up Rin's strained look. “Sick,” he pressed out through his teeth. “Please don't throw up in the cockpit.” Nagisa's nonchalance wasn't a big help. “If you have to go to the railing, be sure to keep your upper body low and hold on to the handrail firmly,” Goro instructed him. This was at least a helpful piece of advice. Rin nodded weakly and closed his eyes again. Every now and then, a really strong wave hit the boat, rocking it unpredictably and out of its rhythm. Rin felt really sick by now, and suddenly, the need to throw up became very urgent. He climbed out of the cockpit as quickly as he could, leaned over the railing and got dizzy at the same moment as an extra strong wave hit the boat.
Haru climbed the stairs back to the cockpit just in time to see Rin topple over the railing. Without even thinking twice, he headed the same way, ignoring both Goro and Nagisa yelling after him, and jumped into the crushing waves mere seconds after Rin. He realized that Goro had already slowed the motor down during that time, thus he hoped he wasn't far behind Rin. As soon as he immersed into the water, his life vest inflated, and Haru felt himself slow down and getting dragged up to the surface. “Rin!” he called out frantically, looking for the redhead, trying to figure out which direction he had to swim.
“No! Idiot!” Goro cursed. “Nagisa, help me here!” Luckily he didn't have to prevent Nagisa from jumping after Haru. At least the younger boy had some common sense left in his head. “Try to keep sight of the two of them, if possible. Keep your eyes on the orange spot between the waves!” he instructed him, steering the 'Princess' into a circle. “I can see Haru!” Nagisa was enthusiastic for a moment, but after the next wave, he lost sight of him. At least now they had a vague direction of where they might find him.
Haru could still see the 'Princess' in between the waves, which gave him a general direction where to swim to find Rin. The waves thrust him up and down, but he went on, calling out for Rin and swimming towards where he hoped to find him. Haru had felt Rin's uneasiness on the boat, and he knew about his nightmares since they were kids. He knew Rin would go into sheer panic in the water, and so he knew he had to find him as soon as possible. At least Rin had a life vest that should keep his head above water.
Goro kept steering to the right, hoping Nagisa would spot one of the missing boys again. He felt awful, but now wasn't the time to dwell on it. He just had to find both of them. He tried to reassure himself that at least he made them wear the bright orange live vests, and that it wasn't dark outside yet, only cloudy. They would be visible, and they would stay above the surface.
Makoto's head appeared in the opening to the stairs. “What happened?” he asked anxiously. “Rin-chan fell into the water, and Haru-chan jumped after him,” Nagisa explained without lifting his eyes from the waves. Makoto gasped, making his way up to the cockpit. “Stay downstairs, Makoto, there's nothing you can help with here!” Goro couldn't risk another man overboard, and this guy didn't even wear a life vest. “Get some towels ready, they will need them when we get them out.” Makoto nodded immediately, slightly reassured by Goro's words. He said when , not if .
At last, Haru saw a flash of an orange vest through the waves, only a few meters to his left. Waves crashed over him, he saw Rin sinking under the water. Why wasn't he floating like Haru was? With a pang he realized that Rin's life vest must have malfunctioned. Haru swam his fastest five meters ever (despite the drag of his own life vest), grabbed Rin’s vest and pulled him up to the surface. “Rin!” Haru clutched him around the chest with one arm, and Rin immediately coughed and spit out some sea water. “Haru?” Rin's voice sounded as if he was far away. “My life vest doesn't work!” He was still panicking. “It's okay, Rin, I've got you. And mine works fine.” Haru did his best to reassure him - he needed Rin to calm down and cooperate. Rin nodded, slowly coming to his senses. “We need to get back to the boat.” Haru said, then: “Can you help me paddle with your feet?” Rin nodded again, holding on tightly onto Haru's arm. Haru leaned backwards, holding onto Rin with his right arm while trying to steer with his left one. He just hoped he still had the direction of the 'Princess' right.
Goro had no idea how long the two men were in the water. Only a few minutes, probably. Time had slowed down. The GPS showed he was steering more or less in a circle, having made about two thirds of it by now. He just knew that he had to stay calm; he had to keep his anxiety in check. Haru and Rin were his responsibility, and he had to find them. He glanced at Nagisa who was still fixated onto the sea, a determination on his face that he had never seen before. Goro considered throwing the life buoy into the water, but with these rough waves there was little hope the rope would stay in place.
“Haru?” - “What?” - “Do you know where the boat is?” There was a few seconds of silence. “No.” As soon as he had answered, Haru regretted being honest. Rin tensed again, and he couldn't blame him. It wasn’t like he was comfortable in the crashing waves, either. “Goro will find us,” he tried to reassure him. Rin remained tense. “How?”
Rin tried to keep his rising panic in check. The moment Haru had held him, he had felt confident that everything would be fine. But now a new fear kept creeping into his head: Haru could drown, and it would be Rin's fault. He knew Haru had jumped in for him, because never, ever could there be such a coincidence as both of them falling into the water at the same time. The fear of losing Haru the same way he lost his father slowly became overwhelming. Haru, who was like a fish in the water, who was always calm and confident. Haru, who was Rin's anchor in life without even knowing it. Haru, whom he loved so much, but had never had the guts to confess to. Even Haru was no match to the violent waves here.
“Your life vest has a whistle, doesn't it?” Haru suddenly remembered. “Rin, try to whistle! Maybe they can hear us!” A new flicker of hope stirred in Rin. Shakingly he loosened his grip on Haru's arm to look for the whistle, and yes - there it was! Rin experimentally blew in it and was startled. That whistle was really loud. He blew in it two more times, hoping for a response before starting anew.
First, Nagisa thought his mind was playing tricks. But then he heard it again – the sound of a whistle from his right. Frantically, he pulled out his own whistle and blew it. Goro jerked. “Hey, give a man a warning.” But then he grinned. “Good thinking, Nagisa, keep going!” He whistled again, and then he heard it again. “I can hear them, slow down! More to the right!” Nagisa got really excited, blowing in the whistle again.
“Rin, I can hear a whistle, this direction!” Rin blew again, his hopes rising. Yes! He could hear the whistle, too. Both of them kicked their legs with a newfound energy.
“Goro-san, there! I can see them! They are together!” - “Keep your eyes on them! If necessary, throw the buoy!” Goro couldn't even tell how relieved he was. Carefully he steered where Nagisa told him to go.
Haru shot a glance over his shoulder and finally he could see the 'Princess' in between the waves. Relief washed through his body. He hadn't realized how anxious he had truly been. “I can see them, Rin!” He breathed into the red hair, and instantly he felt the relief in his friend as well.
Nagisa climbed onto the swim platform, releasing the ladder. Haru pushed Rin forward, urging him to go first. It was hard to get on the rocking boat, but Nagisa was there, ready to pull them out, first Rin, immediately followed by Haru. He wanted to throw himself at his friends, but it was hard enough to keep standing, so he refrained from doing it. “Get back into the cockpit, all of you!” Goro yelled. Nagisa climbed back first, meanwhile Rin was overcome with a new wave of nausea. The moment he turned around, Haru's arm was back around his waist. It was too late, Rin couldn't say anything, he just leaned forward over the platform and threw up his lunch and a lot of sea water into the ocean below. Haru didn't let go, he just firmly held onto him until he was done, then helped him kneel down so he could rinse his mouth. “Feeling better now?” he asked softly. Rin was surprised by that. “Actually, yes.” He suddenly felt good enough to flash a brief yet bright smile at Haru.
Finally they were back inside the cockpit, shivering. “Don't do that ever again!” Goro yelled at them. “You scared the shit out of me!” Haru and Rin nodded guiltily. “Now go downstairs, get dry and get warm. You can lie down in my bed, there's a blanket.”
Makoto was already waiting for them, wrapping each of them in a towel and a one-armed hug despite the rocking. No words could match his relief right now. He passed them their spare jammers and urged them to get warm as Goro had said. Rin went ahead in Goro's cabin, and climbed into the bed, shivering. Haru had his hand on Makoto's shoulder. “I'm sorry, Makoto. I made you worry.” - “It's okay. I'm glad you’re back. But I knew you could make it. Like you did back in high school for me.” Haru only nodded in acknowledgment. The memory of nearly losing Makoto was far away at that moment.
Rin was already beneath the blanket, lying on his back when Haru joined him in the bed. Immediately there was a growing tension building between them, as always when they got close. Like they both felt too much, but didn't dare to talk about it. Haru hated it. Not now, not after what they were just through, Haru pleaded silently. “Rin, it's okay. Don't blame yourself, please.” - “Haru, you could have died! What would I do if you died because of me!” Haru was at a loss of words. That thought hadn't even occurred to him, and he was actually dumbfounded. All the time out there he had only thought of Rin, not of himself.
“I'd rather die trying to save you than live without having tried,” Haru finally admitted. Rin practically burst into tears. “Don't say dumb things like that!” Haru reached out and pulled Rin into a hug. “I mean it.” At this moment, with his emotions bare and raw, Haru wanted Rin to know the truth, embarrassing as it was. Rin didn't reply, but after tensing for a brief moment, he returned the hug, holding firmly onto Haru and crying into his neck.
“I was so afraid out there,” Rin whispered. “I was afraid I would leave mom and Gou behind like dad did. And…” Rin gathered all his courage. “And I was afraid I would die without telling you how much you mean to me.” An awkward silence followed. Rin felt self-conscious, afraid of having said too much. He realized that lying half naked against Haru contributed a lot to the awkwardness of the situation, so he tried to shuffle away. But Haru didn't let him go, he clutched him to his chest, and his breath hitched. Eventually, Rin realized that Haru had started to cry, too. “I'm sorry, Haru. You don't have to do anything about it. I don't expect anything, I just wanted you to know.” Rin started panicking again.
“Shush, Rin. I love you, too. I thought you'd already figured that out,” Haru mumbled into the damp, red hair. Only then did Rin realize that Haru was capable of happy tears, too.
The relief was clearly written on Goro's face while he steered the boat steadily towards the west, according to his GPS. Luckily enough, they escaped the worst of the thunderstorm, only catching a few raindrops. Only 15 minutes after they got Haru and Rin back on board, the wind slowed down, and 15 minutes later, Nagisa partly hoisted the main sail. The waves remained uneasy, but at least they got more rhythm again.
When Haru and Rin returned to the cockpit, their hands were tightly clasped together. “You don't have to hold him, Haru-chan,” Nagisa teased, “he won't fall into the sea again, right, Rin-chan?” - “Just making sure,” Haru deadpanned. Everyone else burst into laughter, the tension finally leaving all of them. “If you ever decide to jump off the boat again, at least take the buoy with you.” Goro scolded Haru again. “We were lucky to find you so quickly, both of you. I wouldn't want to be the reason why Japan lost two of its most aspiring Olympic swimmers.”
In the evening, after they had all left, Goro looked at the pictures that had been taken throughout the day (mostly by Nagisa, and in very weird angles), smiling at those five boys who were young men now. He fondly remembered them growing up. He remembered how Rin and Haru always needed extreme situations to move forward. Maybe, just maybe, this incident had been the one extreme event they had needed to really move forward once again. Nagisa had caught a picture of them, Haru pressing a kiss on Rin's cheek, and Rin blushing fervently. Goro felt fatherly proud and happy for them. Maybe they would allow him to hang this picture in the swimming club. It would certainly be good for business, after all.