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"Kendal!" Alinua strained against Falst's grip, ultimately too weak to break free and go after him. Her fingers were numb, body starting to shake violently as the cold seeped in where the life magic had left. "Kendal...!"
"Calm down. He's fine," Falst muttered, seemingly just as much to her as to himself.
Alinua reached out with one hand towards her best friend, taking a deep breath and trying to pull more life essence into the ground. Anything she could put between Kendal and that-- that thing.
Kendal moved back just as much as the vines made him, but no more. His stance widened a bit and the glow of his blade intensified, wisps of blue fire trailing off the tip.
"No, no, no-- don't let him-- Falst, let go. Please!"
Falst released her, also understanding what Kendal was doing, and she scrambled forwards, feeding more vines to the task of keeping Kendal away from the melty thing. The life around her was getting thinner and thinner, and she stumbled, her limbs not cooperating. She could barely tell what was going on; her head was spinning, her vision blurring, limbs feeling distant and clumsy, like they were controlled by ropes. "Kendal, please, come back!"
"What is he doing?" Erin paused shooting flame at the glort for a moment to stare at the new arrival.
Kendal turned his head to look at her, and as their eyes met, he gave her a soft, reassuring smile. Ice shot through her gut.
Her access to life ran out, and as the path cleared, Kendal darted forward, thrusting the sword into the oozing mass. Alinua tried to follow, to pull him back, but one knee gave out and she stumbled, kept away as the glort rushed around Kendal, burying him.
"No. No!" Alinua got back to her feet, running towards the ravenous hunger and trying to rip it open with another tree. Life wouldn't flow through her anymore. There was nothing left here. It had all been consumed.
She'd watched, over the past few minutes, as every plant she'd grown had been eaten alive by this stuff, watched as black tendrils of hunger snaked their way through their stems and ate them from the inside out. Parts of them had been scooped away, pulled apart at the seams as the plants melted into ooze before they could even stop feeling or being themselves.
It had only taken a moment's touch for it to fill Dainix's lungs, to carve up his insides without destroying them completely. She'd been left helpless, locked out as the hunger overtook the life and there was nothing left for her to grab onto. She hadn't been able to help Dainix. She wouldn't be able to help Kendal.
It was already too late, if it worked as fast as it had on Dainix, but Alinua grabbed at the stuff, digging at it, trying to pull something out. It was just ooze, slipping through her fingers, the smell alone driving her to almost vomit.
An arm wrapped around her midsection, and she yelped as she was pulled away. "watch out!"
The glort slammed down in the spot where she'd been standing, and she let loose a cry. "He's in there!"
"I know!" Falst clutched at his side, using his tail to keep balanced. "Erin's going to try to get him out!"
Before anyone else could react, though, a beam of blue-white light poked out of the glort, followed by another. Ooze burned up in blue fire, thrown into the air by the explosion within. Molten hands outstretched in a final plea as Kendal's holy smite ended the glort's hunger.
Alinua felt herself release a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
The fire dissipated, leaving Kendal standing in the center, grasping onto the sword like a lifeline. He turned to face the group, giving them a smile.
That damn reassuring smile.
Alinua fought her way out of Falst's grip, meeting Kendal as he walked towards them. She pulled him into a hug. "You're back."
Kendal subtly winced from the pressure, and Alinua immediately jumped back, alarmed. "You're still hurt. Why would you come here?"
"You were in danger," Kendal answered plainly, tone even.
"You--" There were so many things Alinua wanted to say, as she reached into the last dregs of her life magic to make sure he had as much vitality as she could give him.
He looked awful-- she noticed one hand covering his side, where he still seemed to be in pain from the last fight. He was covered in bruises, just like before-- she'd kept a close eye on those. Just looking at his chest brought back still-fresh memories of staring at it as she pushed more life magic towards his vitals, hoping desperately that his breathing would steady. Even now, it seemed a little ragged.
"I've been terrified!" Alinua blurted, mind racing over the slight sting in her fingers that she'd felt trying to heal him. She'd been grasping at straws for hours, trying desperately to bring him back. He'd left, and she'd--
"...Terrified?" Kendal looked around, as if scouting for another threat.
Alinua grabbed his wrists, hoping to ground him, at least for another minute. "Yes! You've been-- I thought you were gone!"
Kendal didn't move. He was thinking about it.
Last they'd spoke, he'd reassured her that she'd never need to save him again. For a moment, a single moment, she'd almost believed that he would finally stop running into danger. That he'd finally value himself.
She remembered the first time she'd met him. She'd tried to sacrifice herself for his sake, too. She'd spent her whole life under the brand on her arm; her fate was to die, and she'd accepted that. No attachments, no travel, no fun. If she was honest with herself, she'd been trying to convince herself she wanted it to end. She'd been miserable, almost intentionally so; keeping her world small so there was nothing to miss.
Maybe it was coincidence that she was freed from the Plague when he arrived. It didn't matter-- he'd brought a light into her cave. Kendal had become someone to live for, not die for, and she understood now how desperately she had wanted it. She'd stopped living like she wasn't there, instead tethered to the real world, her real life, by a star that had appeared in her life by pure accident.
Kendal stuck by her. He hadn't been there for her because he needed her, or because he saw a use for her-- he just looked her in the eyes and saw someone worth saving. There was no qualifier. Before, she'd seen her uses, and she knew what she could do, but never had she thought about who she was. She was a person, an entity bigger than just a single purpose. She loved helping people, and she knew that it was something she could do well, but she knew that she, Alinua, was not defined by that. Kendal looked at her without a trace of fear in his eyes. She felt seen, she felt wanted. She felt home.
And it stung that she couldn't seem to do the same for him. He'd pulled her out of her darkest time effortlessly. Here Alinua was, watching him charge headfirst into problems beyond him alone, watching him slip between her fingers and fall into that deep, dark abyss of "purpose."
There was no better purpose, but to live! Life was purpose, in and of itself! She knew that, now! She knew that because of him!
The look he'd given her earlier was seared into her mind; he'd smiled, told her it wouldn't happen again, sighed with the confidence of someone who had the problem figured out.
In retrospect, Alinua knew he did have a solution in mind. She just hadn't expected it to be a goodbye.
It was stupid of her not to realize. She'd kind of known what Kendal had wanted to do; she'd just been too afraid to admit to herself that he wasn't tethered like she was.
Kendal had purpose, like she did. But, in being freed from her curse, she'd been freed to consider Life beyond purpose. Kendal's curse was still hanging heavy on his shoulders: guilt. How long had he known that he could bring Vash back with the sword, and stayed by her side anyway?
She hadn't been enough to tether him to life. She hadn't been enough to stop him from wanting to trade his life for his purpose.
She'd watched him end his own life, willingly, right in front of her, hoping that he'd never come back.
Alinua doubled over in a sob. "You left us! You didn't want to come back! You-- you wanted to die!"
Kendal, completely out of his depth, watched, unsure of what to do.
"Why would you leave me?"
"I... I have to." Kendal shrunk back a bit, Alinua's eyes burning into his. "This isn't my body."
"But..." Alinua blinked away tears. "But it is your body. You don't have another body."
Kendal seemed to think about it.
"Vash can just make another one, you know." Erin startled both of them, appearing from Alinua's right. "Can we head back to camp?"
"Y-yeah," Alinua nodded, pulling her eyes away from Kendal. Falst was checking in with Dainix, but kept glancing over to check that Alinua was okay; Tess was standing at the outskirts of the group, and gave Alinua a thumbs-up. "I... I think we should."
Tess kept an eye out for any danger on their way back, with Falst supporting Dainix as they walked, and Kendal refusing to accept Alinua's support. As much as Alinua's body felt like lead, it twisted her stomach to see how sluggishly Kendal was moving. That wasn't natural for him. He didn't get tired.
Erin immediately relit the campfire when they arrived, and Alinua quickly double-checked that everyone was fine. It seemed most of the gang had settled down.
"I'll keep watch. Have a nice nap," Tess took a seat cross-legged next to the fire. "I'll wake you up if anything happens."
"Are you sure?" Alinua murmured, voice feeling a bit hoarse.
"Of course."
"Kendal--" Alinua stopped, watching Kendal sit down near the fire. 'Sit' was generous; a better description might have been 'collapsed.' "Oh."
She took a seat next to him, quickly scanning to see if his injuries had worsened. To Alinua's relief, they hadn't.
"...I'm sorry."
Alinua looked up at him. The look in his eyes was still sad, filled with guilt, but Alinua could tell something was different. A flash of earlier, during the storm, came to her. Before, he'd had this distant determination, and this longing, for something he was parting ways with. Now, that was gone, replaced with something more present. "...Do you still want to leave?"
Kendal shook his head. "Leaving wouldn't bring Vash back."
Irritation bubbled up in Alinua's chest. "Would you leave if it did?"
Kendal hesitated, shame creeping in. "No. Not anymore."
Alinua breathed a sigh of relief. "What changed?"
"I'm Vash's legacy." He stared into the fire. "I'm all they have left, whether they're bound to the city or not."
"There are other things to live for than saving him."
"Yeah. I just didn't want to abandon them. I realized, though, that living isn't abandoning the people of Vash. Not living is."
Alinua watched the gears turn in his head.
"I tried to die for their sake. I tried to abandon them, and you. I'm sorry."
The words sunk in, and Alinua squeezed her hands together. "Please take care of yourself."
Kendal leaned over, resting his head on her shoulder. His hair was still damp from the rain, but he was warm, and importantly, alive, on her shoulder. "I will."
"Thanks." Alinua glanced up at the sky, watching as the clouds turned pink from the sunrise. Maybe the day was finally over. "I'm glad."
